Time.. must you keep marching on?

Kelli Traaseth, April 2011

I have to preface this post by saying that I'm not depressed at all. After writing it I was surprised at how somber it sounded. I think when I look at the kids and see how old they are, a wave of disbelief rushes through me. A thought of, "this can't be!" fills my head.

Anyway, we're having a grand time, no worries.

As I watch my three teens playing Magic together, I can't believe how the years have passed by so quickly. Alec is 18. Eighteen years since I had my first child. Eighteen years ago I never would have thought that my kids would be staying home with me. Staying home with me instead of going to school. I'm so glad they did.

Abbi is 16. Sixteen years ago, after I had Abbi I said to Alec who was 19 months old, "you're such a big boy!" Really? Really. Wow, how crazy was I in pushing my baby boy to be a big boy. Did I know at the time that he would grow up so quickly? That he would change our lives when he wasn't enjoying school. Abbi was enjoying school at the time, she was in 1st grade and she thought it was pretty fun. She'd finish out the year but then ended up staying home the following years. I'm so glad she did.

Kyra is 13, turning 14 next month. Yes, 14! Fourteen years since I had my last child. I remember bringing her home and being overwhelmed with two toddlers and a baby. I had a bout of depression which wasn't great and I'm sure that colored some of my experiences a shade of gray. I now wish I knew how quickly those years would go by.

Hold onto each day, know how quickly they pass. Kiss those tiny heads of toddlers and babies; smell their heads, as my friend Sandra says. Before you know it, they'll be playing a game together and you won't even need to explain the rules to them. In fact you'll have a hard time comprehending the game.


The original is at Our Joyful Life, Kelli's blog.
Eighteen on 18 (Gail Higgins) Unschooling for Seven Years (Jill Parmer) Magic Window (Sandra Dodd)