Look directly at your child

I was working on a Just Add Light and Stir post. I thought there had been a page about seeing a child directly, but I didn't find one. What I did find was several good uses of the idea, on different pages, so I thought a collection might be worth having.

The idea is mine; the quotes are mine unless otherwise indicated. I say so because there's been some plagiarism lately, and I don't want these things lifted and claimed by others. I DO want them used happily by parents to make their children's lives better.


Turn away from the school and look directly at your children.

(2009 Interview, "Unschooling")

Look directly at your child. Practice watching your child without expectations. Try to see what he is really doing, rather than seeing what he’s NOT doing. Just look.
A Loud Peaceful Home

Look directly at your child without filters or labels.
Doing Unschooling Right

Jill Parmer:
A huge shift for my deschooling was that I wanted my kids to be like certain kids I was reading about on the old unschooling.com message boards. And when I had that thought, it shocked me. I realized I was not seeing my kids as who they were, that I was still wanting them to be....something else. That shock was enough to make me banish that thought and look directly at my kids and play with them and have fun with them.
Deschooling Chat

I tell them to look directly at their child without overlays or filters or labels -- to see who he is, right now, and respond to that.
Why I Unschooled My Three Kids

Sometimes people have a sort of social hypchondria—every problem that's described, they identify with, or fear the danger will get their children. They would do much better to spend more time and attention with and on their children so that they see their wholeness, rather than imagining their vulnerabilities.
Fear, overcoming

Being Rejecting a Pre-Packaged Life Thoughts on Changing