Brenda Rose

Glena,

I'm so sorry that happens. I feel like you in that what is important to me
is the people - especially my own family! I remember years ago we went to
my BIL's for Christmas. They had a lot of the family staying with them, so
not enough beds for everyone. My SIL thought we would be more comfortable
at a house, in beds, fewer sharing the bathroom, etc., so she had us stay at
the house of one of their friend's. It was like a mansion to us, very
luxurious, but I was afraid of the children touching anything. The worst
part of it was that our family felt left out, like from late night,
sit-around discussions and other little things that mean so much in making
memories. My husband especialy wanted to stay up late and talk to his
brother and mom, whom he only saw about once a year. So even though my SIL
did it for really kind reasons, plus some practical such as the bathroom
needs, it left us feeling outside the group. We would much rather have just
slept on the floor of the den in sleeping bags. But not everyone is like
that. I don't think my in-laws would enjoy it if that's what we offered
them when they came to visit us. Actually, except for one time that they
spent the night with us and slept on a hide-a-bed, they always stayed with
their friends who had really big houses with lots of extra bedroom space.
Oh, well. It's not always even a clean house, but sometimes just
expectations of comfort that put barriers between people and how they choose
to live. I'd rather have space on a couch (I can't do the floor very well
anymore) and stay at someone's home than to be away and miss out on spending
time together. That's how my children are, too, and I'm really thankful.

Brenda