i feel like the house is in chaos today
Allison
so we're new to unschooling and mindful parenting. my husband and i aren't completely agreeing on everything surrounding this but for the most part he's on board. it takes him a little while to mull things over.
he and i agreed to allow the kids more freedom with bedtime, baths, meals, food choices, where they sleep, what they wear. so i understand that this is all new to them and they are probably unsure of whats going on.
i've talked to my oldest briefly, when it has come up in conversation, about why things have changed a little bit around our house. he seems to think this is pretty awesome, so does our 5 yr old. however, they are tired bc they've been staying up later than usual so with that they are also cranky and there is more arguing going on than usual. since we've been more flexible with food choices they are eating more junk food and less wholesome meals which i feel like is contributing to the crankiness.
my 2 yr old is also more tired and throwing temper tantrums which isn't really like her. her tantrums today have been bc i haven't let her have as many marshmallows as she wanted. i'm using them tomorrow to make rice krispy treats for our family to take to a halloween party we're going to tomorrow. i've tried to explain why she can't have as many as she liked but she's still upset. handling her tantrums differently are stressful bc i don't know if i'm handling it right. i just pretty much love on her and tell her i'm sorry but tomorrow she'll be happy bc she'll have some yummy treats. we noticed while she was having a tantrum she picked up a book and sat down to tell the story to herself...her way of coping i guess.
also, bc my husband doesn't quite agree with this yet he's a little resentful that i'm doing this "without him" which really i'm not bc he's allowed changes so far. sometimes he says any frustrations i'm having are brought upon me by my own doings. he's also complaining about the house not being as tidy as usual which makes him stressed bc he thinks more clearly with less clutter.
i'm sorry to complain, i guess i'm just wondering if anyone else goes through these things while trying to ease into a more peaceful way of living. it just doesn't seem all that peaceful right now. i am hopeful that it will work though and i'm not willing to throw in the towel.
he and i agreed to allow the kids more freedom with bedtime, baths, meals, food choices, where they sleep, what they wear. so i understand that this is all new to them and they are probably unsure of whats going on.
i've talked to my oldest briefly, when it has come up in conversation, about why things have changed a little bit around our house. he seems to think this is pretty awesome, so does our 5 yr old. however, they are tired bc they've been staying up later than usual so with that they are also cranky and there is more arguing going on than usual. since we've been more flexible with food choices they are eating more junk food and less wholesome meals which i feel like is contributing to the crankiness.
my 2 yr old is also more tired and throwing temper tantrums which isn't really like her. her tantrums today have been bc i haven't let her have as many marshmallows as she wanted. i'm using them tomorrow to make rice krispy treats for our family to take to a halloween party we're going to tomorrow. i've tried to explain why she can't have as many as she liked but she's still upset. handling her tantrums differently are stressful bc i don't know if i'm handling it right. i just pretty much love on her and tell her i'm sorry but tomorrow she'll be happy bc she'll have some yummy treats. we noticed while she was having a tantrum she picked up a book and sat down to tell the story to herself...her way of coping i guess.
also, bc my husband doesn't quite agree with this yet he's a little resentful that i'm doing this "without him" which really i'm not bc he's allowed changes so far. sometimes he says any frustrations i'm having are brought upon me by my own doings. he's also complaining about the house not being as tidy as usual which makes him stressed bc he thinks more clearly with less clutter.
i'm sorry to complain, i guess i'm just wondering if anyone else goes through these things while trying to ease into a more peaceful way of living. it just doesn't seem all that peaceful right now. i am hopeful that it will work though and i'm not willing to throw in the towel.
Sandra Dodd
-=-he and i agreed to allow the kids more freedom with bedtime, baths,
meals, food choices, where they sleep, what they wear. so i understand
that this is all new to them and they are probably unsure of whats
going on.
i've talked to my oldest briefly, when it has come up in conversation,
about why things have changed a little bit around our house. -=-
http://sandradodd.com/gradualchange
If you're saying yes lots of times, with some details about why,
rather than one giant, confusing yes, that will help. Make it all
case-by-case.
No matter how your kids are, you will need deschooling. Don't just be
looking at bed and food. Be looking at learning. Unschooling should
be your primary thought here. http://sandradodd.com/nest
http://sandradodd.com/howto/precisely
-=- since we've been more flexible with food choices they are eating
more junk food and less wholesome meals which i feel like is
contributing to the crankiness. -=-
If you think of some food as "junk food" and other as "wholesome,"
that's part of the problem. Provide good-smelling, good looking food
and let time pass while they make choices.
While you're getting used to this, remember (maybe memorize recite)
"Read a little, try a little, wait a while, watch."
http://sandradodd.com/eating/control
Halloween is a good time to try to recover from villifying some foods
and glorifying others.
http://sandradodd.com/eating/halloween
-=-my 2 yr old is also more tired and throwing temper tantrums which
isn't really like her. her tantrums today have been bc i haven't let
her have as many marshmallows as she wanted. i'm using them tomorrow
to make rice krispy treats for our family to take to a halloween party
we're going to tomorrow. i've tried to explain why she can't have as
many as she liked-=-
If you didn't put them where she couldn't even see them, that was a
little cruel (or at least inefficient).
-=-. i just pretty much love on her and tell her i'm sorry but
tomorrow she'll be happy bc she'll have some yummy treats.-=-
Two-year-olds know very little about tomorrow. Distraction,
happiness, fun-something, carrying her, singing to her... Help make
her environment peaceful. Start with hiding food you aren't willing
to share, or buy more than you need next time, if she's with you when
you buy it.
-=-also, bc my husband doesn't quite agree with this yet he's a little
resentful that i'm doing this "without him" which really i'm not bc
he's allowed changes so far. sometimes he says any frustrations i'm
having are brought upon me by my own doings. he's also complaining
about the house not being as tidy as usual which makes him stressed bc
he thinks more clearly with less clutter.-=-
You can't have everything at the same time. Children aren't young
forever. There will be some clutter from having young children at
home. this isn't about unschooling, though, in the case of a two-year-
old, who would be home anyway.
http://sandradodd.com/chores/gift
Clean up a place for your husband to hang out, without making a big
deal about it, if you can.
-=i'm sorry to complain, i guess i'm just wondering if anyone else
goes through these things while trying to ease into a more peaceful
way of living. it just doesn't seem all that peaceful right now. i am
hopeful that it will work though and i'm not willing to throw in the
towel.-=-
Any change is disruptive, even great changes. You need to ease into
more gradually, maybe. Don't do anything you don't really understand,
and focus on creating a rich environment.
http://sandradodd.com/nest
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
meals, food choices, where they sleep, what they wear. so i understand
that this is all new to them and they are probably unsure of whats
going on.
i've talked to my oldest briefly, when it has come up in conversation,
about why things have changed a little bit around our house. -=-
http://sandradodd.com/gradualchange
If you're saying yes lots of times, with some details about why,
rather than one giant, confusing yes, that will help. Make it all
case-by-case.
No matter how your kids are, you will need deschooling. Don't just be
looking at bed and food. Be looking at learning. Unschooling should
be your primary thought here. http://sandradodd.com/nest
http://sandradodd.com/howto/precisely
-=- since we've been more flexible with food choices they are eating
more junk food and less wholesome meals which i feel like is
contributing to the crankiness. -=-
If you think of some food as "junk food" and other as "wholesome,"
that's part of the problem. Provide good-smelling, good looking food
and let time pass while they make choices.
While you're getting used to this, remember (maybe memorize recite)
"Read a little, try a little, wait a while, watch."
http://sandradodd.com/eating/control
Halloween is a good time to try to recover from villifying some foods
and glorifying others.
http://sandradodd.com/eating/halloween
-=-my 2 yr old is also more tired and throwing temper tantrums which
isn't really like her. her tantrums today have been bc i haven't let
her have as many marshmallows as she wanted. i'm using them tomorrow
to make rice krispy treats for our family to take to a halloween party
we're going to tomorrow. i've tried to explain why she can't have as
many as she liked-=-
If you didn't put them where she couldn't even see them, that was a
little cruel (or at least inefficient).
-=-. i just pretty much love on her and tell her i'm sorry but
tomorrow she'll be happy bc she'll have some yummy treats.-=-
Two-year-olds know very little about tomorrow. Distraction,
happiness, fun-something, carrying her, singing to her... Help make
her environment peaceful. Start with hiding food you aren't willing
to share, or buy more than you need next time, if she's with you when
you buy it.
-=-also, bc my husband doesn't quite agree with this yet he's a little
resentful that i'm doing this "without him" which really i'm not bc
he's allowed changes so far. sometimes he says any frustrations i'm
having are brought upon me by my own doings. he's also complaining
about the house not being as tidy as usual which makes him stressed bc
he thinks more clearly with less clutter.-=-
You can't have everything at the same time. Children aren't young
forever. There will be some clutter from having young children at
home. this isn't about unschooling, though, in the case of a two-year-
old, who would be home anyway.
http://sandradodd.com/chores/gift
Clean up a place for your husband to hang out, without making a big
deal about it, if you can.
-=i'm sorry to complain, i guess i'm just wondering if anyone else
goes through these things while trying to ease into a more peaceful
way of living. it just doesn't seem all that peaceful right now. i am
hopeful that it will work though and i'm not willing to throw in the
towel.-=-
Any change is disruptive, even great changes. You need to ease into
more gradually, maybe. Don't do anything you don't really understand,
and focus on creating a rich environment.
http://sandradodd.com/nest
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Joy
"he's also complaining about the house not being as tidy as usual which makes him stressed bc he thinks more clearly with less clutter."
I have tried this and it does work, to some degree.
Or it becomes easier to declutter the house when the mind is decluttered if that makes sense.
>interesting, I have also noticed the connection between clutterd house and cluttered mind.According to some psychologists, if you clear your mind (with meditation, yoga, tai chi and the like), then your environment will start to declutter too since our outer experience reflects our inner experience.
I have tried this and it does work, to some degree.
Or it becomes easier to declutter the house when the mind is decluttered if that makes sense.