Homeschool friends and schoolwork
Mary Beth
My daughter has a friend through ballet whom she loves dearly. She is
a beautiful dancer and an intelligent, creative, and spirited young
woman like both of her parents. My daughter would like to spend more
time with her, but her mother does homeschooling in a different way
from us. They use a classical curriculum that involves a lot of
reading and regular schoolwork. I respect this family a lot and do
not want to seem a "bad" influence on their daughter when I do not
force schoolwork on my daughter.
Also, sometimes when I am around them I must admit that I begin to
feel like I have not done enough for my kids and that I must be lazy
or something. I really do not want to impose a curriculum on my kids.
I know that they are constantly learning and that it is real learning
only when it comes from a desire inside of them. But, in the high
school years I sometimes hear that little voice asking me if I have
prepared them enough for whatever they decide to do, if I should be
pushing them more. Do you know what I mean? I believe that they use
Ambleside Online which looks like a very demanding curriculum.
I have basically been avoiding the issue of how we homeschool in our
discussions. This young woman may be coming over to visit this week,
but she says that she will have to bring her schoolwork with her. I
guess my daughter can do something to keep herself busy while she is
here, but it seems so silly. I know they would rather interact
instead. These girls have a couple of hours of ballet a day and
finding time for them to be together otherwise is difficult.
Should I just come out of the closet?
Mary Beth
a beautiful dancer and an intelligent, creative, and spirited young
woman like both of her parents. My daughter would like to spend more
time with her, but her mother does homeschooling in a different way
from us. They use a classical curriculum that involves a lot of
reading and regular schoolwork. I respect this family a lot and do
not want to seem a "bad" influence on their daughter when I do not
force schoolwork on my daughter.
Also, sometimes when I am around them I must admit that I begin to
feel like I have not done enough for my kids and that I must be lazy
or something. I really do not want to impose a curriculum on my kids.
I know that they are constantly learning and that it is real learning
only when it comes from a desire inside of them. But, in the high
school years I sometimes hear that little voice asking me if I have
prepared them enough for whatever they decide to do, if I should be
pushing them more. Do you know what I mean? I believe that they use
Ambleside Online which looks like a very demanding curriculum.
I have basically been avoiding the issue of how we homeschool in our
discussions. This young woman may be coming over to visit this week,
but she says that she will have to bring her schoolwork with her. I
guess my daughter can do something to keep herself busy while she is
here, but it seems so silly. I know they would rather interact
instead. These girls have a couple of hours of ballet a day and
finding time for them to be together otherwise is difficult.
Should I just come out of the closet?
Mary Beth
Robyn Coburn
<<<<<< I have basically been avoiding the issue of how we homeschool in our
discussions. This young woman may be coming over to visit this week,
but she says that she will have to bring her schoolwork with her. I
guess my daughter can do something to keep herself busy while she is
here, but it seems so silly. I know they would rather interact
instead. These girls have a couple of hours of ballet a day and
finding time for them to be together otherwise is difficult. >>>>
Whose idea is it for your visitor to bring her schoolwork? I mean hers or
her Mom's? That would make a difference to how I might handle it, although
expressing your hope that the girls could just hang out together would
probably be helpful either way.
Oh is your dd happy, enthusiastic and enjoying her life? You're probably
doing "enough".
Robyn L. Coburn
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discussions. This young woman may be coming over to visit this week,
but she says that she will have to bring her schoolwork with her. I
guess my daughter can do something to keep herself busy while she is
here, but it seems so silly. I know they would rather interact
instead. These girls have a couple of hours of ballet a day and
finding time for them to be together otherwise is difficult. >>>>
Whose idea is it for your visitor to bring her schoolwork? I mean hers or
her Mom's? That would make a difference to how I might handle it, although
expressing your hope that the girls could just hang out together would
probably be helpful either way.
Oh is your dd happy, enthusiastic and enjoying her life? You're probably
doing "enough".
Robyn L. Coburn
--
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Checked by AVG Free Edition.
Version: 7.1.385 / Virus Database: 268.3.2/294 - Release Date: 3/27/2006
s.waynforth
Mary Beth wrote:
ways in which my life is wonderful and other people's lives, who choose
not to live as I do, aren't as good. So, with that in mind, is she
bringing the schoolwork because she wants to, truly wants to, or because
1) it is the only way her mother would let her come over to your house
for an undirected activity or 2) because she has bought into the idea
that the only way to get ahead in life is to strive, strive, strive? In
the end, I suppose it doesn't matter. In the end the only thing for me
that matters is my relationship with my children. So, if this young,
intelligent, creative young woman and her family have a wonderful
relationship in spite of the pressures being placed on that relationship
through the use of a demanding curriculum, or any curriculum, than,
well, good for them. For me, I don't think my relationship with Simon
and Linnaea would be as glorious as it is with the added burden of me
being the director of their educational attainment. It would limit how
I see them. It would put me in a position of monitoring their
activities to make sure they were achieving at an appropriate level, and
I could set that bar as high as I wanted. I would reduce their
childhoods to a college application with appropriate extra-curricular
activities and achievement tests and grades based on whatever curriculum
I was using. Instead everything they do is just about them doing
something. Their lives are rich with now and not limited by some future
goal. So, however down I might be in comparing my child with some other
child I would quickly be able to turn that around to feeling so happy
and so full of joy about who we are that there would be nothing to feel
sour about.
About "coming out" as an unschooler, women are good at competition. We
can be really good at subtly implying personal superiority that make
others feel somehow less than. Not only have you been unwilling to
share your information, but you know exactly what curriculum the other
family is using. This other family has made available to you
information about how they homeschool in such a way that lets you know
just how hard they work, how perfect and good they are. Simon has a
friend who is in school whose mother is good at touting his skills. She
is good at talking up his scholastic achievements. However, she is also
really good at moaning about how burdensome he can be. How hard it is
to keep him from playing on his PS2 and how they have to limit him to a
specific amount of time per day. How he can be a complete klutz and an
absolute idiot about remembering things. How he could get lost in his
own backyard. So, because I listen I know she is willing to belittle
her child, her son to someone else in the hopes of painting a more
amusing picture of her life, as well as using him to raise her status by
demonstrating his academic competence. I know that her relationship with
him is defined by 1) advancing him through academic achievement and 2)
minimizing his leisure activities to (arbitrarily defined) reasonable
limits. Maybe if you listen to your daughter's friend and your
daughter's friend's mother you will see the cracks that can exist in a
relationship that is not based on the holism that unschooling tends to
lead to. You may want to choose not to publicly state that you are
unschooling while not actively hiding your light under a bushel. You may
want to talk to your daughter about what she thinks would happen if you
"came out" to her friend and her friend's family. And you may just want
to follow your daughter's lead.
Schuyler
> My daughter has a friend through ballet whom she loves dearly. She isI am really good at "sour grapes". I am fantastic at coming up with
> a beautiful dancer and an intelligent, creative, and spirited young
> woman like both of her parents. My daughter would like to spend more
> time with her, but her mother does homeschooling in a different way
> from us. They use a classical curriculum that involves a lot of
> reading and regular schoolwork. I respect this family a lot and do
> not want to seem a "bad" influence on their daughter when I do not
> force schoolwork on my daughter.
>
> Also, sometimes when I am around them I must admit that I begin to
> feel like I have not done enough for my kids and that I must be lazy
> or something. I really do not want to impose a curriculum on my kids.
> I know that they are constantly learning and that it is real learning
> only when it comes from a desire inside of them. But, in the high
> school years I sometimes hear that little voice asking me if I have
> prepared them enough for whatever they decide to do, if I should be
> pushing them more. Do you know what I mean? I believe that they use
> Ambleside Online which looks like a very demanding curriculum.
>
> I have basically been avoiding the issue of how we homeschool in our
> discussions. This young woman may be coming over to visit this week,
> but she says that she will have to bring her schoolwork with her. I
> guess my daughter can do something to keep herself busy while she is
> here, but it seems so silly. I know they would rather interact
> instead. These girls have a couple of hours of ballet a day and
> finding time for them to be together otherwise is difficult.
>
> Should I just come out of the closet?
>
> Mary Beth
ways in which my life is wonderful and other people's lives, who choose
not to live as I do, aren't as good. So, with that in mind, is she
bringing the schoolwork because she wants to, truly wants to, or because
1) it is the only way her mother would let her come over to your house
for an undirected activity or 2) because she has bought into the idea
that the only way to get ahead in life is to strive, strive, strive? In
the end, I suppose it doesn't matter. In the end the only thing for me
that matters is my relationship with my children. So, if this young,
intelligent, creative young woman and her family have a wonderful
relationship in spite of the pressures being placed on that relationship
through the use of a demanding curriculum, or any curriculum, than,
well, good for them. For me, I don't think my relationship with Simon
and Linnaea would be as glorious as it is with the added burden of me
being the director of their educational attainment. It would limit how
I see them. It would put me in a position of monitoring their
activities to make sure they were achieving at an appropriate level, and
I could set that bar as high as I wanted. I would reduce their
childhoods to a college application with appropriate extra-curricular
activities and achievement tests and grades based on whatever curriculum
I was using. Instead everything they do is just about them doing
something. Their lives are rich with now and not limited by some future
goal. So, however down I might be in comparing my child with some other
child I would quickly be able to turn that around to feeling so happy
and so full of joy about who we are that there would be nothing to feel
sour about.
About "coming out" as an unschooler, women are good at competition. We
can be really good at subtly implying personal superiority that make
others feel somehow less than. Not only have you been unwilling to
share your information, but you know exactly what curriculum the other
family is using. This other family has made available to you
information about how they homeschool in such a way that lets you know
just how hard they work, how perfect and good they are. Simon has a
friend who is in school whose mother is good at touting his skills. She
is good at talking up his scholastic achievements. However, she is also
really good at moaning about how burdensome he can be. How hard it is
to keep him from playing on his PS2 and how they have to limit him to a
specific amount of time per day. How he can be a complete klutz and an
absolute idiot about remembering things. How he could get lost in his
own backyard. So, because I listen I know she is willing to belittle
her child, her son to someone else in the hopes of painting a more
amusing picture of her life, as well as using him to raise her status by
demonstrating his academic competence. I know that her relationship with
him is defined by 1) advancing him through academic achievement and 2)
minimizing his leisure activities to (arbitrarily defined) reasonable
limits. Maybe if you listen to your daughter's friend and your
daughter's friend's mother you will see the cracks that can exist in a
relationship that is not based on the holism that unschooling tends to
lead to. You may want to choose not to publicly state that you are
unschooling while not actively hiding your light under a bushel. You may
want to talk to your daughter about what she thinks would happen if you
"came out" to her friend and her friend's family. And you may just want
to follow your daughter's lead.
Schuyler
Sandra Dodd
> This young woman may be coming over to visit this week,Maybe you and your daughter could help her with it. Read it aloud
> but she says that she will have to bring her schoolwork with her. I
> guess my daughter can do something to keep herself busy while she is
> here, but it seems so silly. I know they would rather interact
> instead.
and discuss the answers and make a little event of it all!
I wouldn't argue with the mom about it, although it's pretty lame,
isn't it?
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Ren Allen
"Also, sometimes when I am around them I must admit that I begin to
feel like I have not done enough for my kids and that I must be lazy
or something."
I don't have any advice for "coming out of the closet" but I just had
to comment on this part! Your kids are SO cool, interesting,
articulate and FUN people. You've got absolutely nothing to worry about.:)
Ren, who adores Mary Beth's family
learninginfreedom.com
feel like I have not done enough for my kids and that I must be lazy
or something."
I don't have any advice for "coming out of the closet" but I just had
to comment on this part! Your kids are SO cool, interesting,
articulate and FUN people. You've got absolutely nothing to worry about.:)
Ren, who adores Mary Beth's family
learninginfreedom.com
[email protected]
In a message dated 3/28/2006 8:09:17 A.M. Central Standard Time,
Sandra@... writes:
This young woman may be coming over to visit this week,
homework and my kids "best friends" who happen to be their cousins unavailable
because of all their "school-work" and chores at home.
My sister "schools at home" and we run into this often. We always call
first before going over because her kids are doing school and we really never
know when they will finish.
My younger niece (11) has math, history, writing, reading, violin and more
as well as household chores that must be complete before she can play.
Sometimes, she can't come over if she hasn't completed them. Logan doesn't mind
at all helping his cousin finish up her math but sometimes I get the idea
that my sister thinks that's "cheating" Very weird for us.
The older niece is 16 and is swamped with work. She plays the piano 4 hours
a day, goes to music, voice, dance classes, takes online classes in Spanish,
Chemistry, and Algebra 2, is studying for the SAT and goes to a Huntington
learning center twice a week for tutoring where they also give her work to do
at home. All with the ultimate goal of her getting into a private college
next year and winning scholarships. Certainly a different path than we are on.
They have multiple performances with either the symphony or chamber music or
music conservatory. I'm exhausted just writing about it.
These 4 cousins have been inseparable since they were very young but their
work load now doesn't leave much time for them to just hang out. We often
stop by to see my mom who lives with them and the kids are just not available.
I think it will be a great comparison story in about 5 years of 2 families
who didn't have their kids in school but one was traditionally homeschooled
and the other unschooled. For now, though, it can be weird for me in
conversations or even the morning phone call from Grandma..."What are ya'll doing?"
Well...the kids are still asleep but when Logan gets up we're going to play
Halo 2 for awhile and figure out how to connect to X-Box Live. I'm reading
e-mail and Brenna and I are going to make some ATC's this afternoon. We may
jump on the new trampoline for awhile...<g> Sounds like a great day to me!
Gail
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Sandra@... writes:
This young woman may be coming over to visit this week,
> but she says that she will have to bring her schoolwork with her. IThis has been on my mind lately with neighbors that can't play because of
> guess my daughter can do something to keep herself busy while she is
> here, but it seems so silly. I know they would rather interact
> instead.
homework and my kids "best friends" who happen to be their cousins unavailable
because of all their "school-work" and chores at home.
My sister "schools at home" and we run into this often. We always call
first before going over because her kids are doing school and we really never
know when they will finish.
My younger niece (11) has math, history, writing, reading, violin and more
as well as household chores that must be complete before she can play.
Sometimes, she can't come over if she hasn't completed them. Logan doesn't mind
at all helping his cousin finish up her math but sometimes I get the idea
that my sister thinks that's "cheating" Very weird for us.
The older niece is 16 and is swamped with work. She plays the piano 4 hours
a day, goes to music, voice, dance classes, takes online classes in Spanish,
Chemistry, and Algebra 2, is studying for the SAT and goes to a Huntington
learning center twice a week for tutoring where they also give her work to do
at home. All with the ultimate goal of her getting into a private college
next year and winning scholarships. Certainly a different path than we are on.
They have multiple performances with either the symphony or chamber music or
music conservatory. I'm exhausted just writing about it.
These 4 cousins have been inseparable since they were very young but their
work load now doesn't leave much time for them to just hang out. We often
stop by to see my mom who lives with them and the kids are just not available.
I think it will be a great comparison story in about 5 years of 2 families
who didn't have their kids in school but one was traditionally homeschooled
and the other unschooled. For now, though, it can be weird for me in
conversations or even the morning phone call from Grandma..."What are ya'll doing?"
Well...the kids are still asleep but when Logan gets up we're going to play
Halo 2 for awhile and figure out how to connect to X-Box Live. I'm reading
e-mail and Brenna and I are going to make some ATC's this afternoon. We may
jump on the new trampoline for awhile...<g> Sounds like a great day to me!
Gail
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
katherand2003
My sisters (one has since moved several states away) are
school-at-home moms. Ds is by far the youngest cousin of the bunch.
He's 2 1/2 and the others are all at least 8 or 9. My side of the
family is the one that gives me grief for "still" nursing ds. Not fun
for me to visit. Ds used to love it but now more than ever the
cousins are busy and rather schoolishly and parentally burdened.
So for our won peace of mind I quit calling for the embarrassing news
that they didn't have time for us to come over. So much formality, so
little family. Bleh. Not worth it.
I decided it's more worth my time to go to playgroups once a week.
Our car's out of commission right now and we are stuck anyway but once
we get transportation up and running again, I'll be there so fast. Ds
needs it and even at 2 1/2, he asks for it. We're supposed to go
tomorrow but ds' schedule is very late in the day getting up so I
doubt if we make it to take Daddy to work early so we can use his car.
Maybe next week I'll have my car. Fingers crossed.
Kathe
school-at-home moms. Ds is by far the youngest cousin of the bunch.
He's 2 1/2 and the others are all at least 8 or 9. My side of the
family is the one that gives me grief for "still" nursing ds. Not fun
for me to visit. Ds used to love it but now more than ever the
cousins are busy and rather schoolishly and parentally burdened.
So for our won peace of mind I quit calling for the embarrassing news
that they didn't have time for us to come over. So much formality, so
little family. Bleh. Not worth it.
I decided it's more worth my time to go to playgroups once a week.
Our car's out of commission right now and we are stuck anyway but once
we get transportation up and running again, I'll be there so fast. Ds
needs it and even at 2 1/2, he asks for it. We're supposed to go
tomorrow but ds' schedule is very late in the day getting up so I
doubt if we make it to take Daddy to work early so we can use his car.
Maybe next week I'll have my car. Fingers crossed.
Kathe
--- In [email protected], gailbrocop@... wrote:
> My sister "schools at home" and we run into this often. We always
call
> first before going over because her kids are doing school and we
really never
> know when they will finish.
Patty Thompson
>He's 2 1/2 and the others are all at least 8 or 9. My side of theAnd 2 1/2 is still so young to me! If the international average age of weaning is 4 yrs. old, then how many 6-7-8,etc., yr. olds are nursing in other countries to offset the very young age of weaning in this country? I try to throw that stat around a little; but most people don't want to hear it. <sigh>
>family is the one that gives me grief for "still" nursing ds.
Patty
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Mary Beth
Thanks so much Ren!
--- In [email protected], "Ren Allen"
<starsuncloud@...> wrote:
--- In [email protected], "Ren Allen"
<starsuncloud@...> wrote:
>about.:)
> "Also, sometimes when I am around them I must admit that I begin to
> feel like I have not done enough for my kids and that I must be lazy
> or something."
>
> I don't have any advice for "coming out of the closet" but I just had
> to comment on this part! Your kids are SO cool, interesting,
> articulate and FUN people. You've got absolutely nothing to worry
>
> Ren, who adores Mary Beth's family
> learninginfreedom.com
>
[email protected]
This subject just brought to mind something related but a bit off of the
subject
I am hoping to get some of your thoughts and ideas about what are some
things to do when you see your child(14 boy) not interested in doing anything that
relates to academics or learning anything
He will complete work that I give him but not with heart. I have always seen
that he has a high interest level in what he learns because he has always
chosen the material.
Now all of a sudden he says he is not interested in anything just having fun
and no learning is not "fun"
I am sure many go through this but it ils my first time with the challenge.
Hope to get some good ideas, what do you think????
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
subject
I am hoping to get some of your thoughts and ideas about what are some
things to do when you see your child(14 boy) not interested in doing anything that
relates to academics or learning anything
He will complete work that I give him but not with heart. I have always seen
that he has a high interest level in what he learns because he has always
chosen the material.
Now all of a sudden he says he is not interested in anything just having fun
and no learning is not "fun"
I am sure many go through this but it ils my first time with the challenge.
Hope to get some good ideas, what do you think????
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Sandra Dodd
On Mar 29, 2006, at 11:50 AM, TheFadels@... wrote:
and I currently have a fourteen year old girl.
I think you're not unschooling, if you don't see his non-academic
life as part of learning, or if you're LOOKING for or at an academic
life, honestly.
Just last fall you were sending me things about Saxon math. Until
you let go of those things and those ideas, unschooling will not be
happening at your house.
-=-He will complete work that I give him but not with heart. -=-
I started to ask what kind of work you're giving him, but I really,
truly, don't want to know.
Schoolwork does wound kids' hearts and souls. It doesn't matter
whether the schoolwork is given at school or at home, but if you've
told him you're unschooling and THEN giving him work, no wonder his
heart isn't in it.
-=-I have always seen
that he has a high interest level in what he learns because he has
always
chosen the material.-=-
If the chosen material was anything LIKE "school material" or
"academic material," then you have created your bed and you will
either have to lie in it or get out, completely disassemble it and
start on a new and very different path.
-=-
Now all of a sudden he says he is not interested in anything just
having fun
and no learning is not "fun"-=-
No, learning is NOT fun when it is made separate from a happy life.
Learning is fun when you're learning from playing and watching movies
and singing songs and going places with your family and having
interesting people over and playing with stuff and reading fun trivia
magazines and goofing around.
Were you picturing unschooling to be something other than that?
-=-I am sure many go through this but it ils my first time with the
challenge. -=-
What you described is not a part of unschooling, so I'm sure many go
through it, but not unschoolers.
-=-Hope to get some good ideas, what do you think????-=-
I think you should NOT respond to this post, but take your energy to
these two pages
http://sandradodd.com/deschooling
http://sandradodd.com/checklists
and don't just let the words wash over you like a momentary massage,
but DO those things. CHANGE your life, change your thinking, your
words, your responses, your expectations, be different. Don't go
down the path you're on anymore.
Sandra
> I am hoping to get some of your thoughts and ideas about what are someThis has never happened to me. I've had two fourteen year old boys,
> things to do when you see your child(14 boy) not interested in
> doing anything that
> relates to academics or learning anything
and I currently have a fourteen year old girl.
I think you're not unschooling, if you don't see his non-academic
life as part of learning, or if you're LOOKING for or at an academic
life, honestly.
Just last fall you were sending me things about Saxon math. Until
you let go of those things and those ideas, unschooling will not be
happening at your house.
-=-He will complete work that I give him but not with heart. -=-
I started to ask what kind of work you're giving him, but I really,
truly, don't want to know.
Schoolwork does wound kids' hearts and souls. It doesn't matter
whether the schoolwork is given at school or at home, but if you've
told him you're unschooling and THEN giving him work, no wonder his
heart isn't in it.
-=-I have always seen
that he has a high interest level in what he learns because he has
always
chosen the material.-=-
If the chosen material was anything LIKE "school material" or
"academic material," then you have created your bed and you will
either have to lie in it or get out, completely disassemble it and
start on a new and very different path.
-=-
Now all of a sudden he says he is not interested in anything just
having fun
and no learning is not "fun"-=-
No, learning is NOT fun when it is made separate from a happy life.
Learning is fun when you're learning from playing and watching movies
and singing songs and going places with your family and having
interesting people over and playing with stuff and reading fun trivia
magazines and goofing around.
Were you picturing unschooling to be something other than that?
-=-I am sure many go through this but it ils my first time with the
challenge. -=-
What you described is not a part of unschooling, so I'm sure many go
through it, but not unschoolers.
-=-Hope to get some good ideas, what do you think????-=-
I think you should NOT respond to this post, but take your energy to
these two pages
http://sandradodd.com/deschooling
http://sandradodd.com/checklists
and don't just let the words wash over you like a momentary massage,
but DO those things. CHANGE your life, change your thinking, your
words, your responses, your expectations, be different. Don't go
down the path you're on anymore.
Sandra
D Smith
Today, I called my dad. I forgot to tell him happy
birthday yesterday. I've been so sick. SO,
understandably I forgot. However, my parents have
never said they support or don't support my
homeschooling efforts with my son. They just kinda
ignore me if I ask what their thoughts are.
Through our conversation, I told my dad what my son
did yesterday. He watched The Simpson's all day long.
I was surprised when my dad supported it. It got us
talking about how some colleges have classes in tv and
games. I was just surprised.
The Simpson's got my husband and I talking too. We
talked about the episode called Bart's a genius. It's
so sad, how parents don't give their children what
they need unless they excel/prove themselves worthy,
especially of something so essenital as love.
Sorry if this is clouded, my head is spinning. Time to
go back to bed.
Danie
__________________________________________________
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birthday yesterday. I've been so sick. SO,
understandably I forgot. However, my parents have
never said they support or don't support my
homeschooling efforts with my son. They just kinda
ignore me if I ask what their thoughts are.
Through our conversation, I told my dad what my son
did yesterday. He watched The Simpson's all day long.
I was surprised when my dad supported it. It got us
talking about how some colleges have classes in tv and
games. I was just surprised.
The Simpson's got my husband and I talking too. We
talked about the episode called Bart's a genius. It's
so sad, how parents don't give their children what
they need unless they excel/prove themselves worthy,
especially of something so essenital as love.
Sorry if this is clouded, my head is spinning. Time to
go back to bed.
Danie
__________________________________________________
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Ren Allen
"Now all of a sudden he says he is not interested in anything just
having fun
and no learning is not "fun""
Yes, learning IS fun. Your child has not been unschooling apparently.
Have you read the list description here?
Are you interested in understanding unschooling?
There is a list for folks new to unschooling if you're interested:
Unschoolingbasics explores how to GET to unschooling. This list is a
bit advanced if you're still giving him work!!
Let go of your ideas of what learning looks like. Trust that anything
your child is interested in, is learning. Read some books about
unschooling.
Ren
learninginfreedom.com
having fun
and no learning is not "fun""
Yes, learning IS fun. Your child has not been unschooling apparently.
Have you read the list description here?
Are you interested in understanding unschooling?
There is a list for folks new to unschooling if you're interested:
Unschoolingbasics explores how to GET to unschooling. This list is a
bit advanced if you're still giving him work!!
Let go of your ideas of what learning looks like. Trust that anything
your child is interested in, is learning. Read some books about
unschooling.
Ren
learninginfreedom.com
katherand2003
I don't even go there. Stats would be so unconvincing and some folk
are "always" right. Another "not worth it" ---to me anyway. YMMV.
I've had zero luck convincing people (other than dh who has to live
with me too, ya know... ;). And anyway, even though it would feel
wonderful to have agreement, I can live without it too. Some say I
like to do things backwards for purposes of calling attention to
myself. I'm just here at home. I don't feel the need for an audience
so not sure where that idea originates but from being miffed.
Especially since I'm only 42 ;0 (old? mommy) and may not end up having
another child, I'm in NO hurry to wean for petee's sake. :-ppp~~~~
I'm having too much fun being a mom to worry with anyone's opinion of
how I should be one.
Although I find *some* opinions to be really quite wonderfully the
most helpful things imaginable. Imagine that.
Kathe
--- In [email protected], "Patty Thompson"
<topamalu@...> wrote:
nursing in other countries to offset the very young age of weaning in
this country? I try to throw that stat around a little; but most
people don't want to hear it. <sigh>
are "always" right. Another "not worth it" ---to me anyway. YMMV.
I've had zero luck convincing people (other than dh who has to live
with me too, ya know... ;). And anyway, even though it would feel
wonderful to have agreement, I can live without it too. Some say I
like to do things backwards for purposes of calling attention to
myself. I'm just here at home. I don't feel the need for an audience
so not sure where that idea originates but from being miffed.
Especially since I'm only 42 ;0 (old? mommy) and may not end up having
another child, I'm in NO hurry to wean for petee's sake. :-ppp~~~~
I'm having too much fun being a mom to worry with anyone's opinion of
how I should be one.
Although I find *some* opinions to be really quite wonderfully the
most helpful things imaginable. Imagine that.
Kathe
--- In [email protected], "Patty Thompson"
<topamalu@...> wrote:
>of weaning is 4 yrs. old, then how many 6-7-8,etc., yr. olds are
> >He's 2 1/2 and the others are all at least 8 or 9. My side of the
> >family is the one that gives me grief for "still" nursing ds.
>
> And 2 1/2 is still so young to me! If the international average age
nursing in other countries to offset the very young age of weaning in
this country? I try to throw that stat around a little; but most
people don't want to hear it. <sigh>
> Patty
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
Audrey Helm
***And 2 1/2 is still so young to me! If the international average age of weaning is 4 yrs.
old, then how many 6-7-8,etc., yr. olds are nursing in other countries to offset the very
young age of weaning in this country? I try to throw that stat around a little; but most
people don't want to hear it. <sigh>***
I nursed dd until she was 6+ right here in the USA!
old, then how many 6-7-8,etc., yr. olds are nursing in other countries to offset the very
young age of weaning in this country? I try to throw that stat around a little; but most
people don't want to hear it. <sigh>***
I nursed dd until she was 6+ right here in the USA!
Deb
--- In [email protected], D Smith
<sandshuse@...> wrote:
offer classes in porn and related issues (women's studies, legal
issues, cultural issues, and so on). Some actually screen porn
movies in class while others "only" have issues of magazines and
lists of links to websites.
DH is currently taking a continuing ed class (5 weeks one night per
week) in C++ game programming, just for fun. If you have digital
cable, check out the G4 channel at 10 pm or later some night - ads
galore for degree programs and certificates and stuff in things like
game programming, graphics, and all things game related.
--Deb
<sandshuse@...> wrote:
>The current issue of Time magazine has an article on colleges that
> Today, I called my dad. I forgot to tell him happy
> birthday yesterday. I've been so sick. SO,
> understandably I forgot. However, my parents have
> never said they support or don't support my
> homeschooling efforts with my son. They just kinda
> ignore me if I ask what their thoughts are.
> Through our conversation, I told my dad what my son
> did yesterday. He watched The Simpson's all day long.
> I was surprised when my dad supported it. It got us
> talking about how some colleges have classes in tv and
> games. I was just surprised.
offer classes in porn and related issues (women's studies, legal
issues, cultural issues, and so on). Some actually screen porn
movies in class while others "only" have issues of magazines and
lists of links to websites.
DH is currently taking a continuing ed class (5 weeks one night per
week) in C++ game programming, just for fun. If you have digital
cable, check out the G4 channel at 10 pm or later some night - ads
galore for degree programs and certificates and stuff in things like
game programming, graphics, and all things game related.
--Deb
KiwiMama
I wont say I am completely THERE yet but some of the things that my boys 10 and 12 have shown an interest in include.... Making fossils, Freezing insects, blogging, building things, measuring things, working out my taxes with me.
Other things which they have shown an interest in include making a science fair project, making a history fair project, art and painting studies, sculpture, photography and sport.
I admit I still do a few formal things with them during the week and have certain expectations on them such as expecting them to do some form of writing each day, some form of reading each day and some form of math each day. These can all be done in line with their interests or I will assign something if they can't come up with something for themselves.
I also limit their electronic entertainment as I find that when this is not available they come up with so many more creative pursuits and interests that I rarely have to guide or direct them at all.
We are also making an effort to find somewhere interesting to go each week that will broaden their education and interests.
So I am far from a perfect unschooler but I do take a relaxed interest based approach as much as I possible can. Incidentally I actually prefer not to wear any label as we are constantly evolving and growing in our homeschooling journey.
Regards
Nina
Other things which they have shown an interest in include making a science fair project, making a history fair project, art and painting studies, sculpture, photography and sport.
I admit I still do a few formal things with them during the week and have certain expectations on them such as expecting them to do some form of writing each day, some form of reading each day and some form of math each day. These can all be done in line with their interests or I will assign something if they can't come up with something for themselves.
I also limit their electronic entertainment as I find that when this is not available they come up with so many more creative pursuits and interests that I rarely have to guide or direct them at all.
We are also making an effort to find somewhere interesting to go each week that will broaden their education and interests.
So I am far from a perfect unschooler but I do take a relaxed interest based approach as much as I possible can. Incidentally I actually prefer not to wear any label as we are constantly evolving and growing in our homeschooling journey.
Regards
Nina
--- In [email protected], TheFadels@... wrote:
>
> This subject just brought to mind something related but a bit off of the
> subject
>
> I am hoping to get some of your thoughts and ideas about what are some
> things to do when you see your child(14 boy) not interested in doing anything that
> relates to academics or learning anything
>
> He will complete work that I give him but not with heart. I have always seen
> that he has a high interest level in what he learns because he has always
> chosen the material.
>
> Now all of a sudden he says he is not interested in anything just having fun
> and no learning is not "fun"
>
> I am sure many go through this but it ils my first time with the challenge.
>
> Hope to get some good ideas, what do you think????
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
Sandra Dodd
-=-We are also making an effort to find somewhere interesting to go
each week that will broaden their education and interests.-=-
This is a good idea.
-=-I admit I still do a few formal things with them during the week
and have certain expectations on them such as expecting them to do
some form of writing each day, some form of reading each day and some
form of math each day. These can all be done in line with their
interests or I will assign something if they can't come up with
something for themselves.-=-
It robs them of the opportunity to do those things out of joy and
desire. It destroys their chance of having learned them on their own.
-=I also limit their electronic entertainment as I find that when this
is not available they come up with so many more creative pursuits and
interests that I rarely have to guide or direct them at all.-=-
If you didn't have a house you would probably manage to find a
creative place to sleep. But the purpose of unschooling is learning,
not control. The purpose of pursuits and interests isn't to find the
second best. You will never need to guide or direct your children at
all if you engage in learning *with them* every day, all the time.
You won't need to fear "electronic entertainment" (do you call books
"paper entertainment"?) if you would look into it some more and see
how much is really involved.
Recommendations that will lead people away from unschooling aren't
good for the discussion.
The joy you could have with your children now and in the future is
beyond most people's imagination. I had no idea, when I started 18
years ago how fantastic it could be. I had no idea, no models, for
the kind of relationship I have with my kids who are nearly-18,
nearly-21 and 23.
If anyone on this list says "Oh; no problem" or "good job" to a
description of limiting life and teaching "formal things" and
assigning writing and math, they will be assisting you down the path
that leads away from unschooling to "just whatever."
Perhaps there is a "just whatever" discussion list, but this isn't it.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
each week that will broaden their education and interests.-=-
This is a good idea.
-=-I admit I still do a few formal things with them during the week
and have certain expectations on them such as expecting them to do
some form of writing each day, some form of reading each day and some
form of math each day. These can all be done in line with their
interests or I will assign something if they can't come up with
something for themselves.-=-
It robs them of the opportunity to do those things out of joy and
desire. It destroys their chance of having learned them on their own.
-=I also limit their electronic entertainment as I find that when this
is not available they come up with so many more creative pursuits and
interests that I rarely have to guide or direct them at all.-=-
If you didn't have a house you would probably manage to find a
creative place to sleep. But the purpose of unschooling is learning,
not control. The purpose of pursuits and interests isn't to find the
second best. You will never need to guide or direct your children at
all if you engage in learning *with them* every day, all the time.
You won't need to fear "electronic entertainment" (do you call books
"paper entertainment"?) if you would look into it some more and see
how much is really involved.
Recommendations that will lead people away from unschooling aren't
good for the discussion.
The joy you could have with your children now and in the future is
beyond most people's imagination. I had no idea, when I started 18
years ago how fantastic it could be. I had no idea, no models, for
the kind of relationship I have with my kids who are nearly-18,
nearly-21 and 23.
If anyone on this list says "Oh; no problem" or "good job" to a
description of limiting life and teaching "formal things" and
assigning writing and math, they will be assisting you down the path
that leads away from unschooling to "just whatever."
Perhaps there is a "just whatever" discussion list, but this isn't it.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Sandra Dodd
-=-
It robs them of the opportunity to do those things out of joy and
desire. It destroys their chance of having learned them on their own.=-
I meant to include a link with that.
http://sandradodd.com/r/deeper
There's more here, but here's part of it:
==========
The Deeper Effect of a Child Learning to Read: Confidence
a Mom in a discussion online: A homeschooling friend has shared that
she feels we need to teach the basics then unschool them.
Joyce Fetteroll:Your friend is wrong. If she's never experienced a
child who learned to read or do math without instruction then of
course she's not going to be able to imagine it's possible.
Sandra Dodd: If what the friend is imagining is that a child who reads
will then acquire all the other knowledge on her own, that's not the
worst vision in the world If what the friend is hoping is the child
will get past the point that the mom worries about getting in trouble
or failing entirely, I can understand her reasoning.
It robs them of the opportunity to do those things out of joy and
desire. It destroys their chance of having learned them on their own.=-
I meant to include a link with that.
http://sandradodd.com/r/deeper
There's more here, but here's part of it:
==========
The Deeper Effect of a Child Learning to Read: Confidence
a Mom in a discussion online: A homeschooling friend has shared that
she feels we need to teach the basics then unschool them.
Joyce Fetteroll:Your friend is wrong. If she's never experienced a
child who learned to read or do math without instruction then of
course she's not going to be able to imagine it's possible.
Sandra Dodd: If what the friend is imagining is that a child who reads
will then acquire all the other knowledge on her own, that's not the
worst vision in the world If what the friend is hoping is the child
will get past the point that the mom worries about getting in trouble
or failing entirely, I can understand her reasoning.