4yo potty stuff
Ren Allen
" Also, at some point, I can't tell you exactly what age - I
told him if he was going to make the mess, then he was going to clean
it up."
I hope that was one of the lapses and you don't recommend anyone doing
this! Yikes. If a child gets this attitude from the parent, it's
obvious that you aren't trusting them and the annoyance is not a
reflection that will help them feel good about learning in their own
time. They aren't peeing and pooping themselves to be annoying or to
upset a parent and they CAN'T clean it up themselves.
I can understand being frustrated Karen, your plate is pretty full
right now! But I agree with Mary, just try to let it go and trust that
he will get this eventually. I love pull-ups for the lack of
stress....will he wear them?
If not, will he run around naked for a while? Being naked helped my
children notice their bodily cues better. Cleaning up some pee and
poop off the floor is actually not that hard...I had hardwood though,
that might play into it!:)
Hang in there. He'll just decide to use the toilet at some point and
you'll wonder why you ever worried.
Ren
learninginfreedom.com
told him if he was going to make the mess, then he was going to clean
it up."
I hope that was one of the lapses and you don't recommend anyone doing
this! Yikes. If a child gets this attitude from the parent, it's
obvious that you aren't trusting them and the annoyance is not a
reflection that will help them feel good about learning in their own
time. They aren't peeing and pooping themselves to be annoying or to
upset a parent and they CAN'T clean it up themselves.
I can understand being frustrated Karen, your plate is pretty full
right now! But I agree with Mary, just try to let it go and trust that
he will get this eventually. I love pull-ups for the lack of
stress....will he wear them?
If not, will he run around naked for a while? Being naked helped my
children notice their bodily cues better. Cleaning up some pee and
poop off the floor is actually not that hard...I had hardwood though,
that might play into it!:)
Hang in there. He'll just decide to use the toilet at some point and
you'll wonder why you ever worried.
Ren
learninginfreedom.com
S Drag-teine
No, it wasn't a lapse. It is called taking responsibility for your own
messes. If I pooped myself I would clean it up myself and so does my son.
Now, I am talking a little poop in the underwear. If he was covered or was
smeared all over or something - of course I am going to help him - I mean
usually I still wipe his butt when he poops unless he is struck by an
independent streak.
We have some clothes detergent at the sink and he cleans out his underwear.
He learned at around three to help me spot clean laundry. I will always help
him with anything but I think it is important to learn responsibility and
the first responsibility we have is ourselves.
Shannon
~>|<~.~>|<~.~>|<~.~>|<~.~>|<~.~>|<~
I'm glad we switched!
We are now safer and healthier, using toxic-free products and saving money,
too.
Call (212) 990-6214 for a 10 minute prerecorded presentation or contact me
directly.
-----Original Message-----
From: [email protected]
[mailto:[email protected]] On Behalf Of Ren Allen
Sent: Wednesday, February 01, 2006 8:40 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] 4yo potty stuff
" Also, at some point, I can't tell you exactly what age - I
told him if he was going to make the mess, then he was going to clean
it up."
I hope that was one of the lapses and you don't recommend anyone doing
this! Yikes. If a child gets this attitude from the parent, it's
obvious that you aren't trusting them and the annoyance is not a
reflection that will help them feel good about learning in their own
time. They aren't peeing and pooping themselves to be annoying or to
upset a parent and they CAN'T clean it up themselves.
I can understand being frustrated Karen, your plate is pretty full
right now! But I agree with Mary, just try to let it go and trust that
he will get this eventually. I love pull-ups for the lack of
stress....will he wear them?
If not, will he run around naked for a while? Being naked helped my
children notice their bodily cues better. Cleaning up some pee and
poop off the floor is actually not that hard...I had hardwood though,
that might play into it!:)
Hang in there. He'll just decide to use the toilet at some point and
you'll wonder why you ever worried.
Ren
learninginfreedom.com
Yahoo! Groups Links
messes. If I pooped myself I would clean it up myself and so does my son.
Now, I am talking a little poop in the underwear. If he was covered or was
smeared all over or something - of course I am going to help him - I mean
usually I still wipe his butt when he poops unless he is struck by an
independent streak.
We have some clothes detergent at the sink and he cleans out his underwear.
He learned at around three to help me spot clean laundry. I will always help
him with anything but I think it is important to learn responsibility and
the first responsibility we have is ourselves.
Shannon
~>|<~.~>|<~.~>|<~.~>|<~.~>|<~.~>|<~
I'm glad we switched!
We are now safer and healthier, using toxic-free products and saving money,
too.
Call (212) 990-6214 for a 10 minute prerecorded presentation or contact me
directly.
-----Original Message-----
From: [email protected]
[mailto:[email protected]] On Behalf Of Ren Allen
Sent: Wednesday, February 01, 2006 8:40 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] 4yo potty stuff
" Also, at some point, I can't tell you exactly what age - I
told him if he was going to make the mess, then he was going to clean
it up."
I hope that was one of the lapses and you don't recommend anyone doing
this! Yikes. If a child gets this attitude from the parent, it's
obvious that you aren't trusting them and the annoyance is not a
reflection that will help them feel good about learning in their own
time. They aren't peeing and pooping themselves to be annoying or to
upset a parent and they CAN'T clean it up themselves.
I can understand being frustrated Karen, your plate is pretty full
right now! But I agree with Mary, just try to let it go and trust that
he will get this eventually. I love pull-ups for the lack of
stress....will he wear them?
If not, will he run around naked for a while? Being naked helped my
children notice their bodily cues better. Cleaning up some pee and
poop off the floor is actually not that hard...I had hardwood though,
that might play into it!:)
Hang in there. He'll just decide to use the toilet at some point and
you'll wonder why you ever worried.
Ren
learninginfreedom.com
Yahoo! Groups Links
Ren Allen
'I will always help
him with anything but I think it is important to learn responsibility and
the first responsibility we have is ourselves."
Responsibility is developed, not taught by saying "clean it up
yourself", especially with one so young.
There are gentler ways to help a young child deal with messes.
Ren
learninginfreedom.com
him with anything but I think it is important to learn responsibility and
the first responsibility we have is ourselves."
Responsibility is developed, not taught by saying "clean it up
yourself", especially with one so young.
There are gentler ways to help a young child deal with messes.
Ren
learninginfreedom.com
John & Karen Buxcel
on 2/1/06 7:39 PM, Ren Allen at starsuncloud@... wrote:
usually always makes it to the toilet. I know he can connect much easier
with his body when it's all out in the air!
I know his energy level affects it, too. Just the other night, we were
watching a movie, he was curled up on my lap and had undies/pants on, and
all of a sudden, I feel this very warm sensation on *my* leg, realizing, he
was just sitting right there peeing on me! :) Got me and the chair, oh
well! It was late, and he was tired, I recognize that, but he didn't even
make any effort at all or give any signs he needed or was about to pee.
hmm? exhaustion? wrapped up in the movie? probably.
Thanks, Ren!
(oh, we have all hardwood, too! wouldn't/ or maybe couldn't have it any
other way with all these little boys running around here in their naked
splendor!)
Karen
> If not, will he run around naked for a while? Being naked helped myOh, yes, when we're home, he's naked! He does great when he's naked too,
> children notice their bodily cues better. Cleaning up some pee and
> poop off the floor is actually not that hard...I had hardwood though,
> that might play into it!:)
usually always makes it to the toilet. I know he can connect much easier
with his body when it's all out in the air!
I know his energy level affects it, too. Just the other night, we were
watching a movie, he was curled up on my lap and had undies/pants on, and
all of a sudden, I feel this very warm sensation on *my* leg, realizing, he
was just sitting right there peeing on me! :) Got me and the chair, oh
well! It was late, and he was tired, I recognize that, but he didn't even
make any effort at all or give any signs he needed or was about to pee.
hmm? exhaustion? wrapped up in the movie? probably.
Thanks, Ren!
(oh, we have all hardwood, too! wouldn't/ or maybe couldn't have it any
other way with all these little boys running around here in their naked
splendor!)
Karen
Joyce Fetteroll
On Feb 2, 2006, at 3:21 PM, Ren Allen wrote:
mess. You need to clean it up," at one point it didn't sound as
reasonable as when I said it to her. It sounded mean and I stopped
saying it to her immediately because I knew I didn't want to sound
like that.
Maybe there was something in the way you spoke to your son or
something in your relationship that got your point across without him
getting the idea that you weren't going to help him BUT without
whatever that extra was what you wrote -- "I told him if he was going
to make the mess, then he was going to clean it up," is very
unlikely to have a positive effect for someone else. Those words
won't turn a light bulb on in a child and make them understand
responsibility -- because there isn't a way to do that! It's just
going to build a wall between a mother and her child and chip away at
their relationship.
Joyce
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> Responsibility is developed, not taught by saying "clean it upI agree with Ren. When my daughter echoed back to me "You made the
> yourself", especially with one so young.
> There are gentler ways to help a young child deal with messes.
mess. You need to clean it up," at one point it didn't sound as
reasonable as when I said it to her. It sounded mean and I stopped
saying it to her immediately because I knew I didn't want to sound
like that.
Maybe there was something in the way you spoke to your son or
something in your relationship that got your point across without him
getting the idea that you weren't going to help him BUT without
whatever that extra was what you wrote -- "I told him if he was going
to make the mess, then he was going to clean it up," is very
unlikely to have a positive effect for someone else. Those words
won't turn a light bulb on in a child and make them understand
responsibility -- because there isn't a way to do that! It's just
going to build a wall between a mother and her child and chip away at
their relationship.
Joyce
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
>>Just the other night, we werewatching a movie, he was curled up on my lap and had undies/pants on, and
all of a sudden, I feel this very warm sensation on *my* leg, realizing, he
was just sitting right there peeing on me! :) Got me and the chair, oh
well!>>
As the mother of two older kids, take my word for it, someday you're going to look back on these days fondly. This will probably be one of those stories you tell with a smile. :o)
~Mary, unschooling mom to Conor (16) and Casey (12)
"Just today I'm going to be utterly present for my children, I'm going to be in their world (not just doing my own thing while they do theirs), I'm going to really hear them, I'm going to prepare myself to be present starting right now."
~Ren Allen
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Pamela Sorooshian
On Feb 2, 2006, at 11:06 AM, S Drag-teine wrote:
teaching, can be enlightening. Is he learning responsibility or is he
learning to follow orders or something else?
-pam
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> I think it is important to learn responsibility andThinking about what kids are learning, versus what we think we're
> the first responsibility we have is ourselves.
teaching, can be enlightening. Is he learning responsibility or is he
learning to follow orders or something else?
-pam
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Pamela Sorooshian
On Feb 2, 2006, at 12:31 PM, John & Karen Buxcel wrote:
sensation and act on it - might be YEARS before he is ready for that.
-pam
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> Got me and the chair, ohHe is probably just not physically be ready to feel the urge-to-go
> well! It was late, and he was tired, I recognize that, but he
> didn't even
> make any effort at all or give any signs he needed or was about to
> pee.
> hmm? exhaustion? wrapped up in the movie? probably.
sensation and act on it - might be YEARS before he is ready for that.
-pam
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
S Drag-teine
Well, of course, it has been a long process from the very beginning. I am
very gentle with my children and it is always a step-by-step process. My son
has always helped me clean up messes, his or mine. Sometimes with my
prompting more often without any prompting...however if he doesn't at least
learn and help take responsibility for himself now how will he be expected
to take responsibility when he is older?
Shannon
~>|<~.~>|<~.~>|<~.~>|<~.~>|<~.~>|<~
I'm glad we switched!
We are now safer and healthier, using toxic-free products and saving money,
too.
Call (212) 990-6214 for a 10 minute prerecorded presentation or contact me
directly.
-----Original Message-----
From: [email protected]
[mailto:[email protected]] On Behalf Of Ren Allen
Sent: Thursday, February 02, 2006 3:22 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] 4yo potty stuff
'I will always help
him with anything but I think it is important to learn responsibility and
the first responsibility we have is ourselves."
Responsibility is developed, not taught by saying "clean it up
yourself", especially with one so young.
There are gentler ways to help a young child deal with messes.
Ren
learninginfreedom.com
Yahoo! Groups Links
very gentle with my children and it is always a step-by-step process. My son
has always helped me clean up messes, his or mine. Sometimes with my
prompting more often without any prompting...however if he doesn't at least
learn and help take responsibility for himself now how will he be expected
to take responsibility when he is older?
Shannon
~>|<~.~>|<~.~>|<~.~>|<~.~>|<~.~>|<~
I'm glad we switched!
We are now safer and healthier, using toxic-free products and saving money,
too.
Call (212) 990-6214 for a 10 minute prerecorded presentation or contact me
directly.
-----Original Message-----
From: [email protected]
[mailto:[email protected]] On Behalf Of Ren Allen
Sent: Thursday, February 02, 2006 3:22 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] 4yo potty stuff
'I will always help
him with anything but I think it is important to learn responsibility and
the first responsibility we have is ourselves."
Responsibility is developed, not taught by saying "clean it up
yourself", especially with one so young.
There are gentler ways to help a young child deal with messes.
Ren
learninginfreedom.com
Yahoo! Groups Links
S Drag-teine
I guess I need to work on being clear. I am not like "you made the mess -
you clean it up!" My son has a very soft heart and if I said things to him
like that he would collapse in a puddle of tears. It has been a step-by step
process in which we help each other. When I make a mess, I am just as apt to
point out that opps! I made a mess. "See even Mama, makes messes."
When he is tired or having a bad day, I will admit that I do more of the
clean up then he does. When he makes a really big mess, he does the best he
can and then asks for help.
Shannon
~>|<~.~>|<~.~>|<~.~>|<~.~>|<~.~>|<~
I'm glad we switched!
We are now safer and healthier, using toxic-free products and saving money,
too.
Call (212) 990-6214 for a 10 minute prerecorded presentation or contact me
directly.
-----Original Message-----
From: [email protected]
[mailto:[email protected]] On Behalf Of Joyce Fetteroll
Sent: Thursday, February 02, 2006 4:37 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: [unschoolingbasics] 4yo potty stuff
you clean it up!" My son has a very soft heart and if I said things to him
like that he would collapse in a puddle of tears. It has been a step-by step
process in which we help each other. When I make a mess, I am just as apt to
point out that opps! I made a mess. "See even Mama, makes messes."
When he is tired or having a bad day, I will admit that I do more of the
clean up then he does. When he makes a really big mess, he does the best he
can and then asks for help.
Shannon
~>|<~.~>|<~.~>|<~.~>|<~.~>|<~.~>|<~
I'm glad we switched!
We are now safer and healthier, using toxic-free products and saving money,
too.
Call (212) 990-6214 for a 10 minute prerecorded presentation or contact me
directly.
-----Original Message-----
From: [email protected]
[mailto:[email protected]] On Behalf Of Joyce Fetteroll
Sent: Thursday, February 02, 2006 4:37 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: [unschoolingbasics] 4yo potty stuff
On Feb 2, 2006, at 3:21 PM, Ren Allen wrote:
> Responsibility is developed, not taught by saying "clean it up
> yourself", especially with one so young.
> There are gentler ways to help a young child deal with messes.
I agree with Ren. When my daughter echoed back to me "You made the
mess. You need to clean it up," at one point it didn't sound as
reasonable as when I said it to her. It sounded mean and I stopped
saying it to her immediately because I knew I didn't want to sound
like that.
Maybe there was something in the way you spoke to your son or
something in your relationship that got your point across without him
getting the idea that you weren't going to help him BUT without
whatever that extra was what you wrote -- "I told him if he was going
to make the mess, then he was going to clean it up," is very
unlikely to have a positive effect for someone else. Those words
won't turn a light bulb on in a child and make them understand
responsibility -- because there isn't a way to do that! It's just
going to build a wall between a mother and her child and chip away at
their relationship.
Joyce
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Yahoo! Groups Links
S Drag-teine
"Thinking about what kids are learning, versus what we think we're teaching,
can be enlightening. Is he learning responsibility or is he learning to
follow orders or something else?"
I wish someone would answer the question with an answer instead of a
question however it isn't about me ordering my son to do anything. We teach
mostly on modeled behavior. There is no one that makes bigger messes often
in my house then me. How he cleans up is up to him and if he cleans up is up
to him but if he doesn't clean up his playdough it will dry out and he won't
have it to play with, if he doesn't clean up from a different activity he
doesn't go on to another activity.
We don't have the room to make big mess after big mess or we wouldn't have
any room to do anything and some days he doesn't have the room to do what he
wants to do because he hasn't picked up toys that he played with previously.
Anytime he wants to put himself forth, I am willing to help in anyway he
wants to - if he wants to use his dump truck to pick up his blocks and have
me dump them into the bag then that is what we do but it still needs done.
Shannon
~>|<~.~>|<~.~>|<~.~>|<~.~>|<~.~>|<~
I'm glad we switched!
We are now safer and healthier, using toxic-free products and saving money,
too.
Call (212) 990-6214 for a 10 minute prerecorded presentation or contact me
directly.
-----Original Message-----
From: [email protected]
[mailto:[email protected]] On Behalf Of Pamela Sorooshian
Sent: Thursday, February 02, 2006 6:22 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: [unschoolingbasics] 4yo potty stuff
can be enlightening. Is he learning responsibility or is he learning to
follow orders or something else?"
I wish someone would answer the question with an answer instead of a
question however it isn't about me ordering my son to do anything. We teach
mostly on modeled behavior. There is no one that makes bigger messes often
in my house then me. How he cleans up is up to him and if he cleans up is up
to him but if he doesn't clean up his playdough it will dry out and he won't
have it to play with, if he doesn't clean up from a different activity he
doesn't go on to another activity.
We don't have the room to make big mess after big mess or we wouldn't have
any room to do anything and some days he doesn't have the room to do what he
wants to do because he hasn't picked up toys that he played with previously.
Anytime he wants to put himself forth, I am willing to help in anyway he
wants to - if he wants to use his dump truck to pick up his blocks and have
me dump them into the bag then that is what we do but it still needs done.
Shannon
~>|<~.~>|<~.~>|<~.~>|<~.~>|<~.~>|<~
I'm glad we switched!
We are now safer and healthier, using toxic-free products and saving money,
too.
Call (212) 990-6214 for a 10 minute prerecorded presentation or contact me
directly.
-----Original Message-----
From: [email protected]
[mailto:[email protected]] On Behalf Of Pamela Sorooshian
Sent: Thursday, February 02, 2006 6:22 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: [unschoolingbasics] 4yo potty stuff
On Feb 2, 2006, at 11:06 AM, S Drag-teine wrote:
> I think it is important to learn responsibility and
> the first responsibility we have is ourselves.
Thinking about what kids are learning, versus what we think we're
teaching, can be enlightening. Is he learning responsibility or is he
learning to follow orders or something else?
-pam
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Yahoo! Groups Links
Pamela Sorooshian
On Feb 2, 2006, at 6:58 PM, S Drag-teine wrote:
question for people (lots of people have the same kind of idea about
kids being made to do things for themselves in order to learn to be
responsible) to simply ponder in their own minds. I'd never pretend
to have all the answers for other families, but by asking questions
or posing questions for others to consider, we can help each other
think things through more clearly.
With that in mind, Shannon - you might want to reread what you
originally said -
up.<<
This sounds really different than him voluntarily wanting to be
helpful, don't you think?
Anyway - you're worried that he's getting too old to be wetting/
messing his pants, right?
The doctor already told you that you'll just have to wait for him to
be ready. That's all we can tell you, too. Don't worry - LOTS of kids
still wet and mess at his age. My oldest daughter did - she's 21 now
and it is no longer a problem <BEG>. I know how easy it is for others
to say, "Don't worry," but really, that's all we can say. You don't
need to "do" anything. There WILL come a time when he will prefer to
stay clean and dry. Probably well before his first date <g>. In the
meantime, what I did was try to make the whole thing as easy as
possible - downplay it - not let it interfere with the rest of the
child's life.
-pam
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> "Thinking about what kids are learning, versus what we think we'reIt wasn't a question we needed to hear the answer to - it was a
> teaching,
> can be enlightening. Is he learning responsibility or is he
> learning to
> follow orders or something else?"
>
> I wish someone would answer the question with an answer instead of a
> question however it isn't about me ordering my son to do anything.
question for people (lots of people have the same kind of idea about
kids being made to do things for themselves in order to learn to be
responsible) to simply ponder in their own minds. I'd never pretend
to have all the answers for other families, but by asking questions
or posing questions for others to consider, we can help each other
think things through more clearly.
With that in mind, Shannon - you might want to reread what you
originally said -
>>Also, at some point, I can't tell you exactly what age - I toldhim if he was going to make the mess, then he was going to clean it
up.<<
This sounds really different than him voluntarily wanting to be
helpful, don't you think?
Anyway - you're worried that he's getting too old to be wetting/
messing his pants, right?
The doctor already told you that you'll just have to wait for him to
be ready. That's all we can tell you, too. Don't worry - LOTS of kids
still wet and mess at his age. My oldest daughter did - she's 21 now
and it is no longer a problem <BEG>. I know how easy it is for others
to say, "Don't worry," but really, that's all we can say. You don't
need to "do" anything. There WILL come a time when he will prefer to
stay clean and dry. Probably well before his first date <g>. In the
meantime, what I did was try to make the whole thing as easy as
possible - downplay it - not let it interfere with the rest of the
child's life.
-pam
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
John & Karen Buxcel
on 2/2/06 4:16 PM, zenmomma@... at zenmomma@... wrote:
with a smile, I'm smiling right now!
thanks for the warm fuzzy!
karen
> This will probably be one of those stories you tell with a smile. :o)What a precious glimpse into the future! I'm sure I will retell this story
with a smile, I'm smiling right now!
thanks for the warm fuzzy!
karen
S Drag-teine
With that in mind, Shannon - you might want to reread what you originally
said -
You're right, I did not adequately explain myself and while it was probably
not the way that I said it. It was also taken out of context. I will learn
to choose my words more carefully.
I never really worried about him potty training. I knew he would do it in
his own time just like walking and talking. Messes don't really even bother
me.
And though you might have been asking a rhetorical question... I don't. When
I ask a question, I am truly seeking other points of view. I know well
enough that I don't have all the answers and I do the best I can with what I
do know and am capable of but if someone shows me a different way to do
something I at least pause and considerate trying a different way.
Just like homeschooling... I am an unschooler at heart and unschooled my son
to age five and then felt forced to do workbooks and structure that didn't
work for either of us. Because of this list I am now going through all of
our school supplies that I thought we needed and he hates and selling it.
I feel supported from all of you that the unschooling method does work and
that I don't have to make him do stuff he hates for him to learn.
Shannon
~>|<~.~>|<~.~>|<~.~>|<~.~>|<~.~>|<~
I'm glad we switched!
We are now safer and healthier, using toxic-free products and saving money,
too.
Call (212) 990-6214 for a 10 minute prerecorded presentation or contact me
directly.
-----Original Message-----
From: [email protected]
[mailto:[email protected]] On Behalf Of Pamela Sorooshian
Sent: Thursday, February 02, 2006 11:27 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: [unschoolingbasics] 4yo potty stuff
said -
You're right, I did not adequately explain myself and while it was probably
not the way that I said it. It was also taken out of context. I will learn
to choose my words more carefully.
I never really worried about him potty training. I knew he would do it in
his own time just like walking and talking. Messes don't really even bother
me.
And though you might have been asking a rhetorical question... I don't. When
I ask a question, I am truly seeking other points of view. I know well
enough that I don't have all the answers and I do the best I can with what I
do know and am capable of but if someone shows me a different way to do
something I at least pause and considerate trying a different way.
Just like homeschooling... I am an unschooler at heart and unschooled my son
to age five and then felt forced to do workbooks and structure that didn't
work for either of us. Because of this list I am now going through all of
our school supplies that I thought we needed and he hates and selling it.
I feel supported from all of you that the unschooling method does work and
that I don't have to make him do stuff he hates for him to learn.
Shannon
~>|<~.~>|<~.~>|<~.~>|<~.~>|<~.~>|<~
I'm glad we switched!
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-----Original Message-----
From: [email protected]
[mailto:[email protected]] On Behalf Of Pamela Sorooshian
Sent: Thursday, February 02, 2006 11:27 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: [unschoolingbasics] 4yo potty stuff
On Feb 2, 2006, at 6:58 PM, S Drag-teine wrote:
> "Thinking about what kids are learning, versus what we think we're
> teaching,
> can be enlightening. Is he learning responsibility or is he
> learning to
> follow orders or something else?"
>
> I wish someone would answer the question with an answer instead of a
> question however it isn't about me ordering my son to do anything.
It wasn't a question we needed to hear the answer to - it was a
question for people (lots of people have the same kind of idea about
kids being made to do things for themselves in order to learn to be
responsible) to simply ponder in their own minds. I'd never pretend
to have all the answers for other families, but by asking questions
or posing questions for others to consider, we can help each other
think things through more clearly.
With that in mind, Shannon - you might want to reread what you
originally said -
>>Also, at some point, I can't tell you exactly what age - I told
him if he was going to make the mess, then he was going to clean it
up.<<
This sounds really different than him voluntarily wanting to be
helpful, don't you think?
Anyway - you're worried that he's getting too old to be wetting/
messing his pants, right?
The doctor already told you that you'll just have to wait for him to
be ready. That's all we can tell you, too. Don't worry - LOTS of kids
still wet and mess at his age. My oldest daughter did - she's 21 now
and it is no longer a problem <BEG>. I know how easy it is for others
to say, "Don't worry," but really, that's all we can say. You don't
need to "do" anything. There WILL come a time when he will prefer to
stay clean and dry. Probably well before his first date <g>. In the
meantime, what I did was try to make the whole thing as easy as
possible - downplay it - not let it interfere with the rest of the
child's life.
-pam
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
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