Food controls?
Ren Allen
"I am new to the unschooling way, so can you guys please give me an
overview of what the goals are of losing food controls?
My six year old would eat nothing but sugar if I allowed. "
Only for a while.:) Nobody feels good if all they eat is sugar, kids
are no exception. Binging is normal at first, but rather than say
anything to your child, just start honoring their choices more...say
"yes" more.
The benefit from my point of view, is a balanced, whole child. A
person that trusts themselves and knows their own body.
That being said, I also think you need to see the whole picture of a
child that isn't "food controlled". I DO notice symptoms of hunger,
inbalance in my younger children and make sure to keep healthy foods
available. I will point out that they might need some protein, or
maybe a smoothie...I'm not just putting out plates of candy and
ignoring them!
We bring a wide variety of foods into the house...some would be
considered "health food" some would be called "junk". It's just food.
Yeah, we talk about what is better for your body, but there's not a
bunch of guilt associated with eating things that aren't as healthful.
It's just part of the ebb and tide of life. Sometimes I want chocolate
for days in a row, but then I feel like salad, salad, salad.
I want my children's choices to be honored, I don't want to send
messages that they aren't trustworthy.
When children are raised like this, they are quite adept at figuring
out what feels good and right for them.
My kids will ask for things like brocolli, brussel sprouts, raw
sprouts, tofu etc...because I will also buy the candy, soda etc.. when
they ask (and sometimes just because).
Your kids will only eat sugar if that's all you make available to
them. I dare you...I double dare you to put out a big platter of
crackers and cheese and grapes and carrots and dip and raisins and
peanut butter and apples and (well, use your imagination) and just
leave that big 'ol platter of yummy, healthy food on the table and
just see if it disappears.
Next time throw some chocolate chips on too...I bet they'll disappear
first...but then so will the other stuff. Eventually, they'll trust
that there will be chocolate chips anytime they want 'em and the
carrots might disappear first. Truly.:)
Human beings naturally eat whatever is easiest and yummy (hey, we're a
lot like squirrels aren't we?). So make a nice assortment of food
easily available (usually "junk" food is the only thing readily
available..open and eat) and watch all that healthy stuff disappear
before your eyes.
Ren
learninginfreedom.com
overview of what the goals are of losing food controls?
My six year old would eat nothing but sugar if I allowed. "
Only for a while.:) Nobody feels good if all they eat is sugar, kids
are no exception. Binging is normal at first, but rather than say
anything to your child, just start honoring their choices more...say
"yes" more.
The benefit from my point of view, is a balanced, whole child. A
person that trusts themselves and knows their own body.
That being said, I also think you need to see the whole picture of a
child that isn't "food controlled". I DO notice symptoms of hunger,
inbalance in my younger children and make sure to keep healthy foods
available. I will point out that they might need some protein, or
maybe a smoothie...I'm not just putting out plates of candy and
ignoring them!
We bring a wide variety of foods into the house...some would be
considered "health food" some would be called "junk". It's just food.
Yeah, we talk about what is better for your body, but there's not a
bunch of guilt associated with eating things that aren't as healthful.
It's just part of the ebb and tide of life. Sometimes I want chocolate
for days in a row, but then I feel like salad, salad, salad.
I want my children's choices to be honored, I don't want to send
messages that they aren't trustworthy.
When children are raised like this, they are quite adept at figuring
out what feels good and right for them.
My kids will ask for things like brocolli, brussel sprouts, raw
sprouts, tofu etc...because I will also buy the candy, soda etc.. when
they ask (and sometimes just because).
Your kids will only eat sugar if that's all you make available to
them. I dare you...I double dare you to put out a big platter of
crackers and cheese and grapes and carrots and dip and raisins and
peanut butter and apples and (well, use your imagination) and just
leave that big 'ol platter of yummy, healthy food on the table and
just see if it disappears.
Next time throw some chocolate chips on too...I bet they'll disappear
first...but then so will the other stuff. Eventually, they'll trust
that there will be chocolate chips anytime they want 'em and the
carrots might disappear first. Truly.:)
Human beings naturally eat whatever is easiest and yummy (hey, we're a
lot like squirrels aren't we?). So make a nice assortment of food
easily available (usually "junk" food is the only thing readily
available..open and eat) and watch all that healthy stuff disappear
before your eyes.
Ren
learninginfreedom.com
Ren Allen
" So, I'd buy a box each time I went grocery shopping and he'd
finish them off in a few days. Then they were on sale one week - 5
boxes $5. So I picked up 5 (actually, he was with me so I told him to
grab 5 boxes - he was grinning ear to ear as he stocked our cart with
them)."
You reminded me of something I did a couple years ago.
Trevor LOVED Twix bars. He'd ask for one every single time I went to
the grocery store. I'd usually pick up 3 and they'd be gone the same
night.
I finally got smart and bought a box at Sams club that had 36 bars or
some ungodly amount. He ate and ate Twix bars, then decided he'd had
enough.
He did ask for one when I went to the grocery store occasionally, then
that tapered off, then he decided he didn't want Twix bars anymore.
He might eat one every couple of months. If your children act
obsessively about something, give them LOTS of it and they'll figure
out their balance. I'm not recommending that to a diabetic or
anything..you have to get more creative if you've got real life issues
that prevent this. But for the average person, let 'em eat sugar...it
gets really old (unless it's truffles and darjeeling, which I vow to
eat and drink for the rest of my life). ;)
Ren
learninginfreedom.com
finish them off in a few days. Then they were on sale one week - 5
boxes $5. So I picked up 5 (actually, he was with me so I told him to
grab 5 boxes - he was grinning ear to ear as he stocked our cart with
them)."
You reminded me of something I did a couple years ago.
Trevor LOVED Twix bars. He'd ask for one every single time I went to
the grocery store. I'd usually pick up 3 and they'd be gone the same
night.
I finally got smart and bought a box at Sams club that had 36 bars or
some ungodly amount. He ate and ate Twix bars, then decided he'd had
enough.
He did ask for one when I went to the grocery store occasionally, then
that tapered off, then he decided he didn't want Twix bars anymore.
He might eat one every couple of months. If your children act
obsessively about something, give them LOTS of it and they'll figure
out their balance. I'm not recommending that to a diabetic or
anything..you have to get more creative if you've got real life issues
that prevent this. But for the average person, let 'em eat sugar...it
gets really old (unless it's truffles and darjeeling, which I vow to
eat and drink for the rest of my life). ;)
Ren
learninginfreedom.com
Deb
--- In [email protected], "Ren Allen"
<starsuncloud@c...> wrote:
occurred once we finally ran out of Swiss Cake Rolls. DS was with me
as usual (often the two of us go and leave DH home for some quiet time
since he's home with DS all day most of the time). I stopped by the
Swiss Cake Roll display (and they have all sorts of other snack foods
right there) and asked if he wanted anything. He said "No thanks. Can
we go find the cottage cheese now?"
I do want to reiterate one thing: he's a never regulated kid. For
someone who is used to being limited, portioned, controlled, going
slowly and just saying Yes a whole lot more is often more comfortable
for everyone. Kids don't get confused and mom doesn't suddenly freeze
up and worry when the kids eat more of the "junk" food than mom is
used to seeing. Put out lots of things to eat at regular times (mid
morning, midafternoon, early evening, in addition to the typical
breakfast, lunch, dinner times). Include the kids in grocery
listmaking, if not the actual grocery store trip. Just as I ask DH if
there's anything he wants picked up at the market, I specifically ask
DS if there's something he's wanting as well. Sometimes yes, sometimes
no, sometimes I pick up something he mentioned a few weeks ago and
forgot about. Like when he sees a PopTarts commercial and notes that
it's been a while since we had any. Several days later when I'm making
the list, he might not remember that comment, but if I do (and that's
always iffy lol) I'll try to pick some up.
got cookies! yummy homemade choc chip cookies!
--Deb
<starsuncloud@c...> wrote:
>BTW the end of that story which I omitted was the shopping trip that
> " So, I'd buy a box each time I went grocery shopping and he'd
> finish them off in a few days. Then they were on sale one week - 5
> boxes $5. So I picked up 5 (actually, he was with me so I told him to
> grab 5 boxes - he was grinning ear to ear as he stocked our cart with
> them)."
occurred once we finally ran out of Swiss Cake Rolls. DS was with me
as usual (often the two of us go and leave DH home for some quiet time
since he's home with DS all day most of the time). I stopped by the
Swiss Cake Roll display (and they have all sorts of other snack foods
right there) and asked if he wanted anything. He said "No thanks. Can
we go find the cottage cheese now?"
I do want to reiterate one thing: he's a never regulated kid. For
someone who is used to being limited, portioned, controlled, going
slowly and just saying Yes a whole lot more is often more comfortable
for everyone. Kids don't get confused and mom doesn't suddenly freeze
up and worry when the kids eat more of the "junk" food than mom is
used to seeing. Put out lots of things to eat at regular times (mid
morning, midafternoon, early evening, in addition to the typical
breakfast, lunch, dinner times). Include the kids in grocery
listmaking, if not the actual grocery store trip. Just as I ask DH if
there's anything he wants picked up at the market, I specifically ask
DS if there's something he's wanting as well. Sometimes yes, sometimes
no, sometimes I pick up something he mentioned a few weeks ago and
forgot about. Like when he sees a PopTarts commercial and notes that
it's been a while since we had any. Several days later when I'm making
the list, he might not remember that comment, but if I do (and that's
always iffy lol) I'll try to pick some up.
>(unless it's truffles ...Oh Ren now you're making me hungry and I'm here at work...Ah wait I've
got cookies! yummy homemade choc chip cookies!
--Deb
Melissa
>On Jan 20, 2006, at 10:33 AM, Deb wrote:We've always been regulated, and part of helping *me* cope with being
>I do want to reiterate one thing: he's a never regulated kid. For
>someone who is used to being limited, portioned, controlled, going
>slowly and just saying Yes a whole lot more is often more comfortable
>for everyone. Kids don't get confused and mom doesn't suddenly freeze
>up and worry when the kids eat more of the "junk" food than mom is
>used to seeing. Put out lots of things to eat at regular times
open is leaving a divided party tray out all day. The first few
weeks, they were always eating, but now it's only happening when they
are really hungry. I just refill each container as they empty. All
kinds of dried fruits, nuts, crackers, pretzels, cheese, veggie
sticks, and candy. We started right after advent began, our big party
season, and it was because of all the candy we had around. I just
left it out. It really works.
>Just as I ask DH ifI started doing this long before we started unschooling. And my kids
>there's anything he wants picked up at the market, I specifically ask
>DS if there's something he's wanting as well. Sometimes yes, sometimes
>no, sometimes I pick up something he mentioned a few weeks ago and
>forgot about.
have always been just as likely to ask for fruit or veggies as they
do sweets.
Melissa
Su Penn
This reminds me of something that happened recently with chocolate
pudding cups. I'd bring one package home from the store, and they'd
be gone by the end of the day. I wasn't really paying attention, but
then I heard Eric start to say things like, "Will there be enough
pudding for me?" and I realized that even though I wasn't consciously
restricting the pudding cups, I wasn't buying enough of them to keep
him from experiencing a feeling of scarcity, which resulted in him
getting anxious about pudding cups and needing to eat them all at
once to be sure he got his share.
Duh.
Anyway, a couple of weeks ago, I just without comment put two
packages in the cart. It didn't make it through the week, so I picked
up some more partway through the week. Eric liked opening the fridge
and seeing so many there. He liked feeling like he could have as many
as he wanted and there would still be more. He liked feeling so
confident that there were enough that he could _offer_ pudding to his
friends and little brother.
I am still bringing pudding cups home every week, but he might not
even eat one every day, and he doesn't dash to the grocery bags to
get them out first thing. He still likes having them around, but he
can forget about them sometimes because he knows they'll always be
there.
It was an eye-opener to me to realize that he can experience a limit
even if I don't perceive myself to be setting one. A new twist to
keep in mind for me.
Su
pudding cups. I'd bring one package home from the store, and they'd
be gone by the end of the day. I wasn't really paying attention, but
then I heard Eric start to say things like, "Will there be enough
pudding for me?" and I realized that even though I wasn't consciously
restricting the pudding cups, I wasn't buying enough of them to keep
him from experiencing a feeling of scarcity, which resulted in him
getting anxious about pudding cups and needing to eat them all at
once to be sure he got his share.
Duh.
Anyway, a couple of weeks ago, I just without comment put two
packages in the cart. It didn't make it through the week, so I picked
up some more partway through the week. Eric liked opening the fridge
and seeing so many there. He liked feeling like he could have as many
as he wanted and there would still be more. He liked feeling so
confident that there were enough that he could _offer_ pudding to his
friends and little brother.
I am still bringing pudding cups home every week, but he might not
even eat one every day, and he doesn't dash to the grocery bags to
get them out first thing. He still likes having them around, but he
can forget about them sometimes because he knows they'll always be
there.
It was an eye-opener to me to realize that he can experience a limit
even if I don't perceive myself to be setting one. A new twist to
keep in mind for me.
Su
On Jan 19, 2006, at 10:23 PM, Ren Allen wrote:
> You reminded me of something I did a couple years ago.
> Trevor LOVED Twix bars. He'd ask for one every single time I went to
> the grocery store. I'd usually pick up 3 and they'd be gone the same
> night.
>
> I finally got smart and bought a box at Sams club that had 36 bars or
> some ungodly amount. He ate and ate Twix bars, then decided he'd had
> enough.