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===>I thought you would get a kick out of my husband's biggest
objections to homeschooling - "how will he learn to raise his hand
and line up?"<===

Since I am fairly new to this group you may have all seen this list of "The
Dumbest Things You Ever Heard About Homeschooling" before but reading it again,
it still gave me a chuckle, thought you all might enjoy it also. I remember
once my sil said something similar to me: "I just don't know how you can stand
being at home with your kids all day, it would drive me crazy!" She is a
public school teacher.

The Dumbest Thing YOU Ever Heard, Part 1 By Mike Farris

My recent column requesting "dumb statements" people had made
regarding homeschooling yielded a bumper crop of lols (laugh out
loud) and a few rofls (rolling on the floor laughing). I got a
great number of wonderful entries - far too many to publish. Today's
column is the first of two.
Here are half of the top entries, this week's winners, and my
comments interspersed.
Here come the comments.

From Kara Becker:
Our realtor learned we were home schooling. She commented about
the lack of social development that would result, but tried to still
be positive by adding, "Even though they couldn't be realtors, thank
goodness that there are lot of jobs out there which don't require
people skills."
Mike: Thank you, Dale Carnegie (author of "How to Win Friends and
Influence People").

From the Austin family:
A stranger said, "Don't you think your children are being deprived
of the thrill of buying school supplies at Wal-Mart when everyone
else does?"

From Angela Blackman:
A friend who is a paralegal at a very busy law firm said, "How can
you ever think you can keep up with having four kids at home?
Don't they just run you off your feet? I'd be exhausted by the end
of the day."
Mike: It is a proven fact that assisting two lawyers is the
equivalent of having six kids or else tending a dozen snakes --
depending on the age of the lawyer.

From Pamela Minerd:
My father asked, "Will I have to bail you out of jail for this?"

From MDT:
My neighbor was picking my brain about getting the public school to
challenge her first grader. She was concerned because my first
grader was already reading while her son of the same age was just
learning the sounds of letters. Nonetheless she challenged my home
schooling saying my son would still miss out. "It's important for
him socially too. He needs to be offered drugs so he can turn them
down."

From Marci Zinn:
A family member said, "You are just doing this for yourself so you
won't have to buy the kids any school clothes."
Mike: Working 8+ hours a day for 12+ years just smacks of
selfishness if you ask me.

From MDT:
A friend asked, "Do you use books?"

From Rose Mary Coffey:
When my husband told his mother that we were going to home school,
she replied, "What makes Rose Mary think she has the right to teach
my grandchildren?"
Mike: It's in the same clause of the Constitution which gives
grandmas the right to feed cookies and candy to the grandkids an
hour before being sent home for dinner.

From the Karoutsos Family:
My six year old son was very fidgety in the dentist's chair.
Afterwards the dentist spoke to me and told me of his fidgetiness
and said, "Your son did not sit still. It is possibly due to the
fact that you home school him."
Mike: I guess he thought that dentistry was so boring he would
branch out into child psychology.

From Pam Hynes:
I told an old friend from high school how my son was able to
progress in each subject at his own rate. She earnestly
replied, "What if he learns it all before he finishes high school?"

From the Austin family:
A female public school teacher said, "Your son will turn out to be
much too feminine or gay because you home school him. Being with
his mother so much is not good for boys."
Mike: I guess that spending ages 5 through 12 with female public
school teachers would be better.

From Laurie Winkelmann:
I took my daughter to a podiatrist who specialized in treating
plantar warts. I asked how children contracted these warts. He
told me that they often come from locker rooms or swimming pools.
When I told him that since we home school it wouldn't be a locker
room, but we do take a swimming class, he replied, "Yup, home
schooling, that certainly explains it."
Mike: Sounds like someone needs to breath a little fresh air
between foot examinations.

THIS WEEK'S WINNER

From Dawn Howey:
A Christian friend, "God didn't homeschool Jesus, He sent Him away
to school."
Mike: I think the friend needs to be sent away to Sunday School.

The Dumbest Thing YOU Ever Heard, Part 2

From Susan Shay:
"Won't they miss out on learning a lot of important stuff? I
mean, how will they ever learn to stand in line?" (Similar
statements were made to Gita Schmitz and Kathi Kearney. All three
get tapes.)
Mike: Thank goodness for the rigorous standards of Goals 2000.

From Tracy Pina:
An acquaintance said, "Every kid has to get beat up a few times in
public school or they won't be able to cope in the real world."
Mike: Sticks and stones will break my bones or else I won't be well
rounded.


From Clarence and Barbara Hawkins:
A home school family in our town took their school days off in the
middle of the week to match the father's job schedule. Some nosey
neighbors had the family investigated for home schooling on Saturday!
Mike: Reminds me of the social services case I had in Alabama where
a mother was hotlined for allowing her children to read books in the
back of the van while she drove around town.

From MDT:
A friend said, "MY child is being a light in a dark place, but I
guess SOME children are not able to do that."
Mike: With that much condescension that lady probably fogs up her
own glasses.

From Michelle Nichols:
A woman asked a home school friend of mine, "If you don't send your
children to school, who is going to teach them their morals?"
Mike: Yeah, like the moral necessity of beating up other kids on the
playground if we are to believe another comment we read.

From Barb Palmer:
Our girls' friends from the neighborhood ask, "If you are home
schooled,who teaches you?"

From the Austin family:
A friend said, "Won't your children miss the experience of the
goods and bads of dating people from other cultural and religious
backgrounds?"

From Char Brady:
A mother from my daughter's former public school class said, "If
you were more involved in your child's education, then you wouldn't
have to home school."

From MDT:
An acquaintance asked, "How can you possibly give them enough one-
on-one time?"
Mike (stolen from MDT): I guess the kids would get more one-on-one
time in a classroom of 30.

From "Ozchick":
A friend asked me what we were going to do during a public school
snow day. I replied that we were going ahead with school. The friend
replied, "That's silly. Why make your kids work since no one will be
around to grade their papers?"
Not to be outdone, that same friend heard me describe how I was
teaching my children baking from the Colonial period. A recent
project was making a cake from scratch. She replied, "Where can I
buy a box of scratch, I've never heard of it?"

From Nancy Persaud
(although this comment is not within the rules of the contest as
Nancy recognized, it is too good to pass up): From a 5th grade
geography textbook, "Maps are smaller than the areas they represent."

From Dana Estes:
A friend said, "I could NEVER home school my children. I can't
imagine spending that much time with them." She is a public school
teacher.

AND THIS WEEK'S WINNER:

From Cherie Oliver:
My daughter was born three months early and had severe brain
damage. We were told to put her in a home and forget about her.
At the age of three the state said that "special" children needed to
be sent to the public school system so that they could get the
classes they needed. When I told them I was going to home school my
daughter, the school worker came unglued.
She said, "But the state can make her into a better, more dependent
entity."

My daughter is now a first grader who reads, writes, and does all
the other first grader things. She is the most independent six
year-old I know.
Mike: Incredible. Truly incredible.




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