How many "Unschoolers" are trying to be "Uncontrollers?"
debbie_hoff
After reading Gayle's words of discouragement with the kids and the art
set, many responses came in about the "Control" issue. I wonder how
many of us Unschoolers are also learning to be Uncontrollers!! As
we "get Unschooling", do we also "get uncontrolling?!" I mean do we
really "control" any one? Especially our children and their real
learning? I too have discovered so much more about me as the process
of unschooling evolved in our lives. I love the things I am
discovering. This "Unschooling" flows into EVERY part of my life! I
cannot "Control" any person! I can "kinda" control "things"...like
bills, cleaning, etc...BUT for "control" over people...NO way! I
think this path has been extremely healthy for me to release my control
issues! I just need to "release" the "guilt?" of NOT being "stressed
out and uptight" about their learning! My kids are "enjoying" their
lives! They are not bound to a desk and workbooks! I feel so free,
but can this freedom be real?
set, many responses came in about the "Control" issue. I wonder how
many of us Unschoolers are also learning to be Uncontrollers!! As
we "get Unschooling", do we also "get uncontrolling?!" I mean do we
really "control" any one? Especially our children and their real
learning? I too have discovered so much more about me as the process
of unschooling evolved in our lives. I love the things I am
discovering. This "Unschooling" flows into EVERY part of my life! I
cannot "Control" any person! I can "kinda" control "things"...like
bills, cleaning, etc...BUT for "control" over people...NO way! I
think this path has been extremely healthy for me to release my control
issues! I just need to "release" the "guilt?" of NOT being "stressed
out and uptight" about their learning! My kids are "enjoying" their
lives! They are not bound to a desk and workbooks! I feel so free,
but can this freedom be real?
nrskay
--- In [email protected], "debbie_hoff"
<debbie_hoff@y...> wrote:
KAY
<debbie_hoff@y...> wrote:
>the art
> After reading Gayle's words of discouragement with the kids and
> set, many responses came in about the "Control" issue. I wonderhow
> many of us Unschoolers are also learning to be Uncontrollers!! Aswe
> we "get Unschooling", do we also "get uncontrolling?!" I mean do
> really "control" any one? Especially our children and their realprocess
> learning? I too have discovered so much more about me as the
> of unschooling evolved in our lives. I love the things I amlife! I
> discovering. This "Unschooling" flows into EVERY part of my
> cannot "Control" any person! I can "kinda"control "things"...like
> bills, cleaning, etc...BUT for "control" over people...NO way! Icontrol
> think this path has been extremely healthy for me to release my
> issues! I just need to "release" the "guilt?" of NOTbeing "stressed
> out and uptight" about their learning! My kids are "enjoying"their
> lives! They are not bound to a desk and workbooks! I feel sofree,
> but can this freedom be real?HERE, HERE!!!! LEARNING TO BE AN UNCONTROL FREAK!
>
KAY
Pamela Sorooshian
On Jan 6, 2006, at 3:54 AM, debbie_hoff wrote:
-pam
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> I feel so free, but can this freedom be real?Is that a serious question? I'm interested in what you mean.
-pam
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
S Drag-teine
I am a really laid back person but even I forget that children learn best on
their own. Anyway, when I do start telling my son what to do - he tells me
he has had enough and that I need to go away now. Which I do and let him do
his thing. So my suggestion that when you feel that controlling beat spread
over you... walk away. You don't need to watch your kids learn. If they make
a mess then you help them clean it up. I do believe in teaching taking
responsibility for yourself and that includes cleaning up after yourself.
However, even that will be done in their own way. If they don't do it the
way you would then let them clean and then clean behind them. After all they
are children and not Adults.
Shannon
-----Original Message-----
From: [email protected]
[mailto:[email protected]] On Behalf Of debbie_hoff
Sent: Friday, January 06, 2006 6:54 AM
To: [email protected]
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] How many "Unschoolers" are trying to be
"Uncontrollers?"
After reading Gayle's words of discouragement with the kids and the art
set, many responses came in about the "Control" issue. I wonder how
many of us Unschoolers are also learning to be Uncontrollers!! As
we "get Unschooling", do we also "get uncontrolling?!" I mean do we
really "control" any one? Especially our children and their real
learning? I too have discovered so much more about me as the process
of unschooling evolved in our lives. I love the things I am
discovering. This "Unschooling" flows into EVERY part of my life! I
cannot "Control" any person! I can "kinda" control "things"...like
bills, cleaning, etc...BUT for "control" over people...NO way! I
think this path has been extremely healthy for me to release my control
issues! I just need to "release" the "guilt?" of NOT being "stressed
out and uptight" about their learning! My kids are "enjoying" their
lives! They are not bound to a desk and workbooks! I feel so free,
but can this freedom be real?
Yahoo! Groups Links
their own. Anyway, when I do start telling my son what to do - he tells me
he has had enough and that I need to go away now. Which I do and let him do
his thing. So my suggestion that when you feel that controlling beat spread
over you... walk away. You don't need to watch your kids learn. If they make
a mess then you help them clean it up. I do believe in teaching taking
responsibility for yourself and that includes cleaning up after yourself.
However, even that will be done in their own way. If they don't do it the
way you would then let them clean and then clean behind them. After all they
are children and not Adults.
Shannon
-----Original Message-----
From: [email protected]
[mailto:[email protected]] On Behalf Of debbie_hoff
Sent: Friday, January 06, 2006 6:54 AM
To: [email protected]
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] How many "Unschoolers" are trying to be
"Uncontrollers?"
After reading Gayle's words of discouragement with the kids and the art
set, many responses came in about the "Control" issue. I wonder how
many of us Unschoolers are also learning to be Uncontrollers!! As
we "get Unschooling", do we also "get uncontrolling?!" I mean do we
really "control" any one? Especially our children and their real
learning? I too have discovered so much more about me as the process
of unschooling evolved in our lives. I love the things I am
discovering. This "Unschooling" flows into EVERY part of my life! I
cannot "Control" any person! I can "kinda" control "things"...like
bills, cleaning, etc...BUT for "control" over people...NO way! I
think this path has been extremely healthy for me to release my control
issues! I just need to "release" the "guilt?" of NOT being "stressed
out and uptight" about their learning! My kids are "enjoying" their
lives! They are not bound to a desk and workbooks! I feel so free,
but can this freedom be real?
Yahoo! Groups Links
nrskay
Shannon:
I walk away too when I make a suggestion and my dd says no. But I
struggle with am I just letting her play PS2, computer or TV all day?
Is that all she is going to do. That is why I make the suggestions.
Ok, I'm a controller and trying to deal with it isn't easy, but at
times I hear the old tapes and want to see her get out and meet
people, play outdoors, go to a museum, etc. Hard to just shut up and
walk away even though I do walk away and except that she will start
doing things when she is ready.
Kay
I walk away too when I make a suggestion and my dd says no. But I
struggle with am I just letting her play PS2, computer or TV all day?
Is that all she is going to do. That is why I make the suggestions.
Ok, I'm a controller and trying to deal with it isn't easy, but at
times I hear the old tapes and want to see her get out and meet
people, play outdoors, go to a museum, etc. Hard to just shut up and
walk away even though I do walk away and except that she will start
doing things when she is ready.
Kay
S Drag-teine
I do understand because everyone I know thinks I am either too laid back or
a control freak but yes - sometimes it is okay to just play video games all
day. I really wish my mom had let me do just that. There are games that are
at the base nothing more then a story but you still learn something. Mine
was Willow for the original Nitendo. It was a role playing game and you had
to build up your character, follow directions, find new equipment, make good
choice. Now there are games that are like that but better - PS2 and Xbox has
a jedi game that you can play over and over and each time it is different
depending of the life choice you make, there are ocean exploration games and
oftern getting the cheat books make good text books because there are maps
to follow and helpful hints and interactions that some would not think of
that makes the game even more instructive.
Even just playing Tetris all day can give the brain a work out. Eventually,
though they will search out something new because their fingers will begin
to hurt. Also, one my son wants to get is the dance party game - I think you
can get it for PS2 as well (we have Xbox). There are days that my son sits
and plays with play dough all day - is that any worse then a video or
computer game?
Shannon
-----Original Message-----
From: [email protected]
[mailto:[email protected]] On Behalf Of nrskay
Sent: Monday, January 16, 2006 10:42 AM
To: [email protected]
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] Re: How many "Unschoolers" are trying to be
"Uncontrollers?"
Shannon:
I walk away too when I make a suggestion and my dd says no. But I
struggle with am I just letting her play PS2, computer or TV all day?
Is that all she is going to do. That is why I make the suggestions.
Ok, I'm a controller and trying to deal with it isn't easy, but at
times I hear the old tapes and want to see her get out and meet
people, play outdoors, go to a museum, etc. Hard to just shut up and
walk away even though I do walk away and except that she will start
doing things when she is ready.
Kay
Yahoo! Groups Links
a control freak but yes - sometimes it is okay to just play video games all
day. I really wish my mom had let me do just that. There are games that are
at the base nothing more then a story but you still learn something. Mine
was Willow for the original Nitendo. It was a role playing game and you had
to build up your character, follow directions, find new equipment, make good
choice. Now there are games that are like that but better - PS2 and Xbox has
a jedi game that you can play over and over and each time it is different
depending of the life choice you make, there are ocean exploration games and
oftern getting the cheat books make good text books because there are maps
to follow and helpful hints and interactions that some would not think of
that makes the game even more instructive.
Even just playing Tetris all day can give the brain a work out. Eventually,
though they will search out something new because their fingers will begin
to hurt. Also, one my son wants to get is the dance party game - I think you
can get it for PS2 as well (we have Xbox). There are days that my son sits
and plays with play dough all day - is that any worse then a video or
computer game?
Shannon
-----Original Message-----
From: [email protected]
[mailto:[email protected]] On Behalf Of nrskay
Sent: Monday, January 16, 2006 10:42 AM
To: [email protected]
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] Re: How many "Unschoolers" are trying to be
"Uncontrollers?"
Shannon:
I walk away too when I make a suggestion and my dd says no. But I
struggle with am I just letting her play PS2, computer or TV all day?
Is that all she is going to do. That is why I make the suggestions.
Ok, I'm a controller and trying to deal with it isn't easy, but at
times I hear the old tapes and want to see her get out and meet
people, play outdoors, go to a museum, etc. Hard to just shut up and
walk away even though I do walk away and except that she will start
doing things when she is ready.
Kay
Yahoo! Groups Links