Joanne

I'd like to share something important that's been happening in our
lives. I haven't mentioned it before this because I wanted to see
where it was going.
When we adopted our three, our middle child Shawna was on Adderall
(for adhd) and Wellbutrin (for depression). She was also going to
various types of therapy (occupational, speech, physical, mental
health and attachment therapy...yup 5 different ones)
*I want to add quickly that our oldest is still struggling with lots
of emotional issues-this is only about Shawna. Cimion is far from
this point of healing*

Last month was her one year anniversary of being out of school. I
took her out of school first, before the other two and unschooled
her from the start.

One at a time, over the last year, we have dropped ALL therapy. This
was such a major step for her and we had many discussions about it
because therapy was sort of a safey net for her. Just having to not
stop what were doing to go to therapy is a big deal.

But the biggest news here is that she's been off Adderall for a
month now. :-) I was a bit nervous at first because I don't know her
off meds. She came to us on them. I didn't know her before she went
on them and I didn't know what to expect but she's doing so great!!

I can't even tell you how much respect I have for her. She's lived a
life that we only have nightmares about. She came to us a very,
angry, controlling and abusive little girl and today she's a funny,
nurturing, caring pre-teen girl that I'm proud to call my daughter.

Unschooling has helped us so much with this process. Without having
to worry about tests or assignments or curriculims, we've been able
to focus on us...as a family. That was the reason I took them out of
school. Because we didn't have time to bond as a family.

Shawna is in such a different place now than she was last year at
this time. Over the last year, trust has been a big issue for us
(both her trust for us and our trust for her) and unschooling has
been such a blessing to us. It actually allowed Shawna's heart to be
free. :-)
I'm hoping to get her off the wellbutrin this year and then she'll
be completely med free. :-)

~ Joanne ~
Mom to Jacqueline (7), Shawna (10) & Cimion (13)
Adopted into our hearts October 30, 2003
http://anunschoolinglife.blogspot.com/

elizabeth roberts

Joanne,

Thanks so much for sharing how well Shawna is doing! I enjoy hearing stories like these.

Beth, NC

Joanne <billyandjoanne@...> wrote:
I'd like to share something important that's been happening in our
lives. I haven't mentioned it before this because I wanted to see
where it was going.
When we adopted our three, our middle child Shawna was on Adderall
(for adhd) and Wellbutrin (for depression). She was also going to
various types of therapy (occupational, speech, physical, mental
health and attachment therapy...yup 5 different ones)
*I want to add quickly that our oldest is still struggling with lots
of emotional issues-this is only about Shawna. Cimion is far from
this point of healing*

Last month was her one year anniversary of being out of school. I
took her out of school first, before the other two and unschooled
her from the start.

One at a time, over the last year, we have dropped ALL therapy. This
was such a major step for her and we had many discussions about it
because therapy was sort of a safey net for her. Just having to not
stop what were doing to go to therapy is a big deal.

But the biggest news here is that she's been off Adderall for a
month now. :-) I was a bit nervous at first because I don't know her
off meds. She came to us on them. I didn't know her before she went
on them and I didn't know what to expect but she's doing so great!!

I can't even tell you how much respect I have for her. She's lived a
life that we only have nightmares about. She came to us a very,
angry, controlling and abusive little girl and today she's a funny,
nurturing, caring pre-teen girl that I'm proud to call my daughter.

Unschooling has helped us so much with this process. Without having
to worry about tests or assignments or curriculims, we've been able
to focus on us...as a family. That was the reason I took them out of
school. Because we didn't have time to bond as a family.

Shawna is in such a different place now than she was last year at
this time. Over the last year, trust has been a big issue for us
(both her trust for us and our trust for her) and unschooling has
been such a blessing to us. It actually allowed Shawna's heart to be
free. :-)
I'm hoping to get her off the wellbutrin this year and then she'll
be completely med free. :-)

~ Joanne ~
Mom to Jacqueline (7), Shawna (10) & Cimion (13)
Adopted into our hearts October 30, 2003
http://anunschoolinglife.blogspot.com/






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Pamela Sorooshian

That's wonderful Joanne - and I really look forward to continuing to
hear of your children's progress in coming years.

-pam

On Jan 5, 2006, at 6:37 PM, Joanne wrote:

> I can't even tell you how much respect I have for her. She's lived a
> life that we only have nightmares about. She came to us a very,
> angry, controlling and abusive little girl and today she's a funny,
> nurturing, caring pre-teen girl that I'm proud to call my daughter.



[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Ann

Joanne,

I just wanted to chime in and let you know that I fully appreciate what a wonderful journey this is for you and your dd. I really believe that unschooling is the best kept secret for helping kids that need to heal, well it's great for all kids, but for the ones who have survived the foster care system and have gone through all the horror to even get there, unschooling can very well be the only way to save their emotional lives.

I have had my beautiful 12 year old daughter for 5 years now. It will just keep gettting better. You have so much to look forward to. Alie is so happy and sweet to be around that if you didn't know her background, you would never guess. The people in her life that do know are just amazed. She is one of the main reasons I no longer have any dissenters in my family regarding home schooling (I don't use the term unschooling with relatives, way more explaining than I'm interested in doing). They can see how being home has been so beneficial. They even comment on how destructive school would have been.
You are a tender healer, and you have saved her life.

Blessings, Ann

Joanne <billyandjoanne@...> wrote:
I'd like to share something important that's been happening in our
lives. I haven't mentioned it before this because I wanted to see
where it was going.
When we adopted our three, our middle child Shawna was on Adderall
(for adhd) and Wellbutrin (for depression). She was also going to
various types of therapy (occupational, speech, physical, mental
health and attachment therapy...yup 5 different ones)
*I want to add quickly that our oldest is still struggling with lots
of emotional issues-this is only about Shawna. Cimion is far from
this point of healing*

Last month was her one year anniversary of being out of school. I
took her out of school first, before the other two and unschooled
her from the start.

One at a time, over the last year, we have dropped ALL therapy. This
was such a major step for her and we had many discussions about it
because therapy was sort of a safey net for her. Just having to not
stop what were doing to go to therapy is a big deal.

But the biggest news here is that she's been off Adderall for a
month now. :-) I was a bit nervous at first because I don't know her
off meds. She came to us on them. I didn't know her before she went
on them and I didn't know what to expect but she's doing so great!!

I can't even tell you how much respect I have for her. She's lived a
life that we only have nightmares about. She came to us a very,
angry, controlling and abusive little girl and today she's a funny,
nurturing, caring pre-teen girl that I'm proud to call my daughter.

Unschooling has helped us so much with this process. Without having
to worry about tests or assignments or curriculims, we've been able
to focus on us...as a family. That was the reason I took them out of
school. Because we didn't have time to bond as a family.

Shawna is in such a different place now than she was last year at
this time. Over the last year, trust has been a big issue for us
(both her trust for us and our trust for her) and unschooling has
been such a blessing to us. It actually allowed Shawna's heart to be
free. :-)
I'm hoping to get her off the wellbutrin this year and then she'll
be completely med free. :-)

~ Joanne ~
Mom to Jacqueline (7), Shawna (10) & Cimion (13)
Adopted into our hearts October 30, 2003
http://anunschoolinglife.blogspot.com/






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Secondary school education Graduate school education Home school education Graduate school education online High school education Chicago school education

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[email protected]

Joanne, thank you for sharing. It made my heart very glad today!

Leslie in SC


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Joanne

Thank you all for your replies! I really appreciate them! :-)

~ Joanne ~
Mom to Jacqueline (7), Shawna (10) & Cimion (13)
Adopted into our hearts October 30, 2003
http://anunschoolinglife.blogspot.com/

[email protected]

-----Original Message-----
From: Joanne <billyandjoanne@...>

Shawna is in such a different place now than she was last year at
this time. Over the last year, trust has been a big issue for us
(both her trust for us and our trust for her) and unschooling has
been such a blessing to us. It actually allowed Shawna's heart to be
free. :-)
I'm hoping to get her off the wellbutrin this year and then she'll
be completely med free. :-)

-=-=-=-

This is wonderful new, Joanne!

I just want to point out that it's not a failure if she never gets completely off meds or if she needs to
go back on at some point. Genetics and an early traumatic childhood can make it necessary for meds even in
the best of situations.

A joyful life ON meds is better than a mediocre/miserable life OFF them!

I know you know that, but I just wanted to remind you! :-)

~KellyKelly LovejoyConference CoordinatorLive and Learn Unschooling Conferencehttp://liveandlearnconference.org


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Joanne

Kelly,
What you described is Cimion. He'll probably never be off
medication. He's on Concerta (for adhd-if we try to take him off
anything, it'll be this one), Wellbutrin (for depression-he
internalizes his anger & physically hurts himeself) & Seroquel
(bipolar/manic depression).
If it wasn't for his meds, he would never be able to have any
happiness or peace in his life.
Shawna...she's different. I don't think she ever had adhd because I
live with her now off the adderall and she's fine. It was probably
the type of situation where the school suggested it. Or it could be
she outgrew it, although I'm not sure if someone outgrows adhd.
As for the depression...unlike Cimion, her depression comes out in
anger. Where Cimion will cry and bang his head, Shawna would lash
out and hurt and abuse others. But, after two and a half years of
living with us, she's in a different place, so we'll probably try
her off the wellbutrin in a few months, probably in the summer.

I really credit unschooling with a lot of the reason she's the way
she is. I saw an almost immediate change in her when I took her out
of school and then more and more changes as she had more freedom and
a more carefree lifestyle. I remember a teacher telling me that
Shawna never smilied. I told her if she had the kind of life Shawna
had, she wouldn't be smiling either. But now, you can't take the
smile off her happy face!

In [email protected], kbcdlovejo@a... wrote:
>>>>A joyful life ON meds is better than a mediocre/miserable life
OFF them!>>>>>>

Yes, I agree. There is a lot of stigma surrounding children on meds
and yes, sometimes (especially in foster care) there is a tendency
to medicate when it's not needed but in Cimions case, your statement
is dead on accurate.

~ Joanne ~
Mom to Jacqueline (7), Shawna (10) & Cimion (13)
Adopted into our hearts October 30, 2003
http://anunschoolinglife.blogspot.com/

[email protected]

<<her depression comes out in anger...>>

Just FYI, depression in younger kids often mimicks adhd, often it is diagnosed as Atypical Depression, which is why she may have been on the meds. Often when kids are in care, they get bumped from caregiver to caregiver, doctor to doctor and the more difficult diagnostic differentiation just isn't done.

I loved your story. Three of my 5 kids were also adopted out of foster care (we were their foster parents), all of them were expected to have terrible problems. 6 to 9 years later, they are bright and happy.

Julie S.

----- Original Message -----
From: Joanne <billyandjoanne@...>
Date: Friday, January 6, 2006 3:17 pm
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] Re: Getting off meds and stopping therapy (long)

> Kelly,
> What you described is Cimion. He'll probably never be off
> medication. He's on Concerta (for adhd-if we try to take him off
> anything, it'll be this one), Wellbutrin (for depression-he
> internalizes his anger & physically hurts himeself) & Seroquel
> (bipolar/manic depression).
> If it wasn't for his meds, he would never be able to have any
> happiness or peace in his life.
> Shawna...she's different. I don't think she ever had adhd because
> I
> live with her now off the adderall and she's fine. It was probably
> the type of situation where the school suggested it. Or it could
> be
> she outgrew it, although I'm not sure if someone outgrows adhd.
> As for the depression...unlike Cimion, her depression comes out in
> anger. Where Cimion will cry and bang his head, Shawna would lash
> out and hurt and abuse others. But, after two and a half years of
> living with us, she's in a different place, so we'll probably try
> her off the wellbutrin in a few months, probably in the summer.
>
> I really credit unschooling with a lot of the reason she's the way
> she is. I saw an almost immediate change in her when I took her
> out
> of school and then more and more changes as she had more freedom
> and
> a more carefree lifestyle. I remember a teacher telling me that
> Shawna never smilied. I told her if she had the kind of life
> Shawna
> had, she wouldn't be smiling either. But now, you can't take the
> smile off her happy face!
>
> In [email protected], kbcdlovejo@a... wrote:
> >>>>A joyful life ON meds is better than a mediocre/miserable life
> OFF them!>>>>>>
>
> Yes, I agree. There is a lot of stigma surrounding children on
> meds
> and yes, sometimes (especially in foster care) there is a tendency
> to medicate when it's not needed but in Cimions case, your
> statement
> is dead on accurate.
>
> ~ Joanne ~
> Mom to Jacqueline (7), Shawna (10) & Cimion (13)
> Adopted into our hearts October 30, 2003
> http://anunschoolinglife.blogspot.com/
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> ------------------------ Yahoo! Groups Sponsor --------------------
> ~-->
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[email protected]

In a message dated 1/5/2006 9:42:44 PM Eastern Standard Time,
billyandjoanne@... writes:

I'm hoping to get her off the wellbutrin this year and then she'll
be completely med free. :-)



That's great Joanne! What an accomplishment for her. I wish her the best of
luck in the new year

Jenny
Unschooling in Greenfield, MA
Danny (12-1-99), Kelsey (11-1-01) and Evelyn (5-19-04)
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
The important thing is not so much that every child should be taught, as
that every child should be given the wish to learn. ~John Lubbock



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