RE: tough questions...
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Hi,
My BIL has Downs syndrome. He is 40 and a very loving person. What I notice about David is that he always seeks out others who also have Downs. He lives in an adult housing group for disabled adults and his roommates all are others with Downs and they love eachother so deeply. When he visits us, he will often find others like him to connect with and even when first meeting, they embrace like old pals. It's amazing to watch. The joy and happiness. David was schooled and comes from a very dysfunctional family, so he is in a different place than your child. I would think there are ways to meet the childs needs for friends through other means than mainstream school. In our community there are many programs through our city; art, theater, playing, music, sports, for kids of similar ages. We also have an alternative rec. program for the disabled and they have group activities and social gathers. Even our AYSO soccer program has an VIP program so those who want can play soccer and they have a child buddy who volunteers with them. 1 on 1 peer interaction.
So if I were in your shoes, I would trust that voice that tells you this might not be the path for your family. School adds a lot to the family dynamics. I know, I have 1 who chooses to go. I have drop off and pick up, lunches, and parent teacher conference. And to be that supportive parent that you are, you will most likely be drawn to helping out in the class, driving on field trips, and making sure your PTA has funds for school functions. It is another world. One I would rather do without, but for now, for my dd, it is her choice to go. Strange, but true.
One more thought, since you have other children, do you find your Downs child joining their play, watching, soaking the language in? Also, does your young one have any kids who seem to enjoy her/him? I would look for those natural connections and foster relationships from there. My best friend in grade school loved working with people who played in special olympics. She was drawn at 9 to volunteer at the events, helping get children and adults to their races and she so shined. She grew up to be an OT. People out there love children like your, I would put that intent out to the universe. School sounds a bit to restictive, with many hidden expectations.
Best of luck to you as you decide what is right for your family at this time. I second the idea to join the shine list. I know of at least 1 other mom over there who has a toddler with Downs.
Mary
My BIL has Downs syndrome. He is 40 and a very loving person. What I notice about David is that he always seeks out others who also have Downs. He lives in an adult housing group for disabled adults and his roommates all are others with Downs and they love eachother so deeply. When he visits us, he will often find others like him to connect with and even when first meeting, they embrace like old pals. It's amazing to watch. The joy and happiness. David was schooled and comes from a very dysfunctional family, so he is in a different place than your child. I would think there are ways to meet the childs needs for friends through other means than mainstream school. In our community there are many programs through our city; art, theater, playing, music, sports, for kids of similar ages. We also have an alternative rec. program for the disabled and they have group activities and social gathers. Even our AYSO soccer program has an VIP program so those who want can play soccer and they have a child buddy who volunteers with them. 1 on 1 peer interaction.
So if I were in your shoes, I would trust that voice that tells you this might not be the path for your family. School adds a lot to the family dynamics. I know, I have 1 who chooses to go. I have drop off and pick up, lunches, and parent teacher conference. And to be that supportive parent that you are, you will most likely be drawn to helping out in the class, driving on field trips, and making sure your PTA has funds for school functions. It is another world. One I would rather do without, but for now, for my dd, it is her choice to go. Strange, but true.
One more thought, since you have other children, do you find your Downs child joining their play, watching, soaking the language in? Also, does your young one have any kids who seem to enjoy her/him? I would look for those natural connections and foster relationships from there. My best friend in grade school loved working with people who played in special olympics. She was drawn at 9 to volunteer at the events, helping get children and adults to their races and she so shined. She grew up to be an OT. People out there love children like your, I would put that intent out to the universe. School sounds a bit to restictive, with many hidden expectations.
Best of luck to you as you decide what is right for your family at this time. I second the idea to join the shine list. I know of at least 1 other mom over there who has a toddler with Downs.
Mary