Newbie introduction
Malinda Mills
Hello!
I joined the list several days ago and wanted to introduce myself. My name is Malinda, and I have a son Tristan who turned 9 last month and is in the 3rd grade. Tristan's always had a rough time in school (unchallenged, bored, disruptive, etc.), but this year things have hit an all-time low. The school is desperate to label him, and it is beginning to break my son. My husband and I have decided to withdraw him from public school. I now just need to pluck up enough courage to tell his school and fill out the necessary paperwork, which I plan to do sometime this week. Deep down we know this is the best decision, but I have all these nagging worries -- "Are we making the right decision? Are we doing this for the right reasons? What if I fail Tristan and ruin his life?" You know, all those rational -- and irrational -- that homeschoolers probably think about at some point.
I think our biggest concern in withdrawing him from school is socialization, but not in your typical sense of the word. I'm a very introverted person, and I will really have to work at "getting us out" to various social activities. Tristan and my husband are both very outgoing. Tristan is one of the most social, empathic, and sensitive kids I have ever met, but he also has a very strong personality that sometimes turns kids off. I think that he gets overwhelmed in large groups, and I hope that taking him out of a school environment may help this -- or will it backfire?
A secondary concern is support (or rather lack there of) for Tristan and myself as we begin our unschooling journey. Right now my husband is thousands of miles away, fighting in Iraq, and he will be gone for another 9 months or so. This alone has put both Tristan and I under tremendous stress and pressure; although, we have really pulled together and are getting along better than we ever have. My parents are my only "immediate" call-them-whenever-I-need-support people right now. They refuse to accept anything that isn't mainstream and "normal" in their view of life, and homeschooling is definitely not normal to them. They see kids that are homeschooled as weird or "freakish." In regards to Tristan's problems at school, my parents sympathize for a while but then say he just needs to "buck up" (I loathe this term) and learn how to deal with school. *sigh* This thinking just saddens me and makes me feel so alone right now.
Anyway, I wanted to send an introduction to the group. Most likely I'll spend most of my time lurking but wanted to say hello just in case I jump into a thread or ask a question.
Malinda
Fairbanks, Alaska
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
I joined the list several days ago and wanted to introduce myself. My name is Malinda, and I have a son Tristan who turned 9 last month and is in the 3rd grade. Tristan's always had a rough time in school (unchallenged, bored, disruptive, etc.), but this year things have hit an all-time low. The school is desperate to label him, and it is beginning to break my son. My husband and I have decided to withdraw him from public school. I now just need to pluck up enough courage to tell his school and fill out the necessary paperwork, which I plan to do sometime this week. Deep down we know this is the best decision, but I have all these nagging worries -- "Are we making the right decision? Are we doing this for the right reasons? What if I fail Tristan and ruin his life?" You know, all those rational -- and irrational -- that homeschoolers probably think about at some point.
I think our biggest concern in withdrawing him from school is socialization, but not in your typical sense of the word. I'm a very introverted person, and I will really have to work at "getting us out" to various social activities. Tristan and my husband are both very outgoing. Tristan is one of the most social, empathic, and sensitive kids I have ever met, but he also has a very strong personality that sometimes turns kids off. I think that he gets overwhelmed in large groups, and I hope that taking him out of a school environment may help this -- or will it backfire?
A secondary concern is support (or rather lack there of) for Tristan and myself as we begin our unschooling journey. Right now my husband is thousands of miles away, fighting in Iraq, and he will be gone for another 9 months or so. This alone has put both Tristan and I under tremendous stress and pressure; although, we have really pulled together and are getting along better than we ever have. My parents are my only "immediate" call-them-whenever-I-need-support people right now. They refuse to accept anything that isn't mainstream and "normal" in their view of life, and homeschooling is definitely not normal to them. They see kids that are homeschooled as weird or "freakish." In regards to Tristan's problems at school, my parents sympathize for a while but then say he just needs to "buck up" (I loathe this term) and learn how to deal with school. *sigh* This thinking just saddens me and makes me feel so alone right now.
Anyway, I wanted to send an introduction to the group. Most likely I'll spend most of my time lurking but wanted to say hello just in case I jump into a thread or ask a question.
Malinda
Fairbanks, Alaska
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
Hi Malinda, I'm so sorry your husband is in Iraq. I am also a military wife
with a deployed husband (although he is in Asia right now). It can be so
hard to be alone and a zillion times harder when they are in combat zones.
I decided to homeschool when my hubby was in Afghanistan!! LOL!!
If you would like, please contact me off-list and I would be glad to chat!
Leslie in SC, also with a 9 yo son and a 5 yo daughter
_Leslie530@..._ (mailto:Leslie530@...)
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
with a deployed husband (although he is in Asia right now). It can be so
hard to be alone and a zillion times harder when they are in combat zones.
I decided to homeschool when my hubby was in Afghanistan!! LOL!!
If you would like, please contact me off-list and I would be glad to chat!
Leslie in SC, also with a 9 yo son and a 5 yo daughter
_Leslie530@..._ (mailto:Leslie530@...)
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Ren Allen
Hi Malinda!
I'm a former Fairbanksan myself. Still have a lot of family up there.
Do you frequent the library? The children's storygarden is named after
my Mum, Cheryl Bidwell.
My sis is also an unschooler in Alaska, but they're leaving the state
for good in two weeks. Maybe she could recommend some good support for
you.
I'm glad you're willing to protect your child's spirit from the soul-
crushing institute of school. Welcome to the journey...and the list.:)
Ren
I'm a former Fairbanksan myself. Still have a lot of family up there.
Do you frequent the library? The children's storygarden is named after
my Mum, Cheryl Bidwell.
My sis is also an unschooler in Alaska, but they're leaving the state
for good in two weeks. Maybe she could recommend some good support for
you.
I'm glad you're willing to protect your child's spirit from the soul-
crushing institute of school. Welcome to the journey...and the list.:)
Ren
jlh44music
Hi Malinda! Welcome to the group!
My dh and I are both retired military (Air National Guard). He was
activated after 9/11 for about a year, fortunately he went to VA (it
was where his unit's mission needed him), so I can relate to being a
single parent in your situation.
Check nhen.org for support groups in your state. Hopefully also
someone on this list will pop in. Plus there may be a yahoo group
specific to your state (there's one here in MA I belong to and
they've been very helpful when I was first starting in putting my
paperwork together, plus there are MA specific websites that helped
a lot too, you might want to do a google for your state to see if
there's anything.
I pulled my 13yo dd out this past June (she just finished 6th
grade). We're still deschooling but it's the best thing I could
have done for her. I did lots of research before we did this, had
never heard of unschooling until about a year or so ago, and know
it's the way to go for her. This group is great for newbies!
We're just starting to get out and about meeting people. We joined
our local homeschool support group, most are more traditional
(curriculum etc) but there are a few unschoolers. I'm pretty
outgoing, but it's my dd that's the cautious one. She's come to
the decision just recently that SHE wants to get out more, so we're
working on that. I think if you can find a local group, and maybe
connect with some people here and/or on a group (if there is one )
for your state that might help. I know it helped me TREMENDOUSLY
when we first started to know I had people to turn to who UNDERSTOOD.
Keep us posted, ask questions, search the archives here. You WON'T
ruin his life, you're giving him a wonderful gift. Read as much as
you can about unschooling (there's a book list here as well as
recommended websites). My dd gets overwhelmed in large groups as
well, but once she hangs for a while when we meet new people, she
does fine!
Jann (MA)
My dh and I are both retired military (Air National Guard). He was
activated after 9/11 for about a year, fortunately he went to VA (it
was where his unit's mission needed him), so I can relate to being a
single parent in your situation.
Check nhen.org for support groups in your state. Hopefully also
someone on this list will pop in. Plus there may be a yahoo group
specific to your state (there's one here in MA I belong to and
they've been very helpful when I was first starting in putting my
paperwork together, plus there are MA specific websites that helped
a lot too, you might want to do a google for your state to see if
there's anything.
I pulled my 13yo dd out this past June (she just finished 6th
grade). We're still deschooling but it's the best thing I could
have done for her. I did lots of research before we did this, had
never heard of unschooling until about a year or so ago, and know
it's the way to go for her. This group is great for newbies!
We're just starting to get out and about meeting people. We joined
our local homeschool support group, most are more traditional
(curriculum etc) but there are a few unschoolers. I'm pretty
outgoing, but it's my dd that's the cautious one. She's come to
the decision just recently that SHE wants to get out more, so we're
working on that. I think if you can find a local group, and maybe
connect with some people here and/or on a group (if there is one )
for your state that might help. I know it helped me TREMENDOUSLY
when we first started to know I had people to turn to who UNDERSTOOD.
Keep us posted, ask questions, search the archives here. You WON'T
ruin his life, you're giving him a wonderful gift. Read as much as
you can about unschooling (there's a book list here as well as
recommended websites). My dd gets overwhelmed in large groups as
well, but once she hangs for a while when we meet new people, she
does fine!
Jann (MA)
Malinda Mills
Wow, Ren, what a small world! :o) Yes, we are frequent patrons of the Noel Wien Library, especially in the winter. I was so delighted to find such a great library! I remember the opening of the storygarden this past summer (it was this past summer, right??). We don't seem to spend too much time at the library during the warmer months, but I bet the storygarden will be a wonderful area for Tristan and I to read and enjoy the warmth this spring! I'm already discovering some wonderful things for us to enjoy with our newfound time. *grin*
Malinda
Malinda
----- Original Message -----
From: Ren Allen
To: [email protected]
Sent: Wednesday, November 30, 2005 6:59 AM
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] Newbie introduction
Hi Malinda!
I'm a former Fairbanksan myself. Still have a lot of family up there.
Do you frequent the library? The children's storygarden is named after
my Mum, Cheryl Bidwell.
My sis is also an unschooler in Alaska, but they're leaving the state
for good in two weeks. Maybe she could recommend some good support for
you.
I'm glad you're willing to protect your child's spirit from the soul-
crushing institute of school. Welcome to the journey...and the list.:)
Ren
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Malinda Mills
Thanks for the welcome, Jann!
I have joined a several Alaska email groups over the past few weeks. One centers around a correspondence program, but it looks like they do send out some good info in regards activities for all area homeschool families, helpful links, etc. It seems like there are a great number of homeschoolers in the area so it's just me getting comfortable enough to get out there with Tristan. It'll happen but may take just a bit of time. This is a huge lifestyle change so I think taking it slow is OK by me! :o)
I've been burying myself in websites and books for quite some time now, not only in regards to unschooling but homeschooling in general. I happened upon unschooling fairly quickly after I started my research so most of my focus has been on that. Unschooling just really struck a chord with me. I truly wish my parents had taken this approach with me when I was a kid. I remember school as such a miserable experience and am only now regaining that eagerness to learn.
I found "The Unschooling Handbook" at our library over the weekend and read it in two evenings and started the original version of "Teach Your Own." I have a few books on order from Amazon that I am really looking forward to receiving. Has anyone read "The Unprocessed Child" by Valerie Fitzenreiter? That looks to be a fascinating read.
Malinda
I have joined a several Alaska email groups over the past few weeks. One centers around a correspondence program, but it looks like they do send out some good info in regards activities for all area homeschool families, helpful links, etc. It seems like there are a great number of homeschoolers in the area so it's just me getting comfortable enough to get out there with Tristan. It'll happen but may take just a bit of time. This is a huge lifestyle change so I think taking it slow is OK by me! :o)
I've been burying myself in websites and books for quite some time now, not only in regards to unschooling but homeschooling in general. I happened upon unschooling fairly quickly after I started my research so most of my focus has been on that. Unschooling just really struck a chord with me. I truly wish my parents had taken this approach with me when I was a kid. I remember school as such a miserable experience and am only now regaining that eagerness to learn.
I found "The Unschooling Handbook" at our library over the weekend and read it in two evenings and started the original version of "Teach Your Own." I have a few books on order from Amazon that I am really looking forward to receiving. Has anyone read "The Unprocessed Child" by Valerie Fitzenreiter? That looks to be a fascinating read.
Malinda
----- Original Message -----
From: jlh44music
To: [email protected]
Hi Malinda! Welcome to the group!
My dh and I are both retired military (Air National Guard). He was
activated after 9/11 for about a year, fortunately he went to VA (it
was where his unit's mission needed him), so I can relate to being a
single parent in your situation.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
-----Original Message-----
From: Malinda Mills saprswife@...
Has anyone read "The Unprocessed Child" by Valerie Fitzenreiter? That looks to
be a fascinating read.
-=-=-=-=-
YES! Valerie's book is a wonderful book!
It's Christmas, so let's add a few more to your list! <g>
Rue Kream's _Parenting a Free Child, An Unschooled Life_
Sandra Dodd's _Moving a Puddle (and Other Essays)_
Grace Llewellyn's _The Teenage Liberation Handbook (How to Quit School and Get a Real Life)_ ---NOT for teenagers only!!!
These should be in every unschooler's library! And all are available directly from their authors.
~Kelly
Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
http://liveandlearnconference.org
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
From: Malinda Mills saprswife@...
Has anyone read "The Unprocessed Child" by Valerie Fitzenreiter? That looks to
be a fascinating read.
-=-=-=-=-
YES! Valerie's book is a wonderful book!
It's Christmas, so let's add a few more to your list! <g>
Rue Kream's _Parenting a Free Child, An Unschooled Life_
Sandra Dodd's _Moving a Puddle (and Other Essays)_
Grace Llewellyn's _The Teenage Liberation Handbook (How to Quit School and Get a Real Life)_ ---NOT for teenagers only!!!
These should be in every unschooler's library! And all are available directly from their authors.
~Kelly
Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
http://liveandlearnconference.org
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Malinda Mills
Thanks so much, Kelly!
I'll have to add Valerie's book to my Christmas list. *grin*
I went ahead and purchased books from both Rue and Sandra, and "The Teenage Liberation Handbook" arrived on my doorstep last night -- one of the main reasons I am only now getting to email! ;o)
Malinda
I'll have to add Valerie's book to my Christmas list. *grin*
I went ahead and purchased books from both Rue and Sandra, and "The Teenage Liberation Handbook" arrived on my doorstep last night -- one of the main reasons I am only now getting to email! ;o)
Malinda
----- Original Message -----
From: kbcdlovejo@...
Has anyone read "The Unprocessed Child" by Valerie Fitzenreiter? That looks to
be a fascinating read.
-=-=-=-=-
YES! Valerie's book is a wonderful book!
It's Christmas, so let's add a few more to your list! <g>
Rue Kream's _Parenting a Free Child, An Unschooled Life_
Sandra Dodd's _Moving a Puddle (and Other Essays)_
Grace Llewellyn's _The Teenage Liberation Handbook (How to Quit School and Get a Real Life)_ ---NOT for teenagers only!!!
These should be in every unschooler's library! And all are available directly from their authors.
~Kelly
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]