Intro, praise for the conference
Ren Allen
"Sometimes, however, things do not fall into place, and Sam needs all my
energy to get through the situation gracefully, and I find that I need
to be prepared to give him that energy without being resentful that
things aren't just falling into place."
Thanks for clarifying that further Danielle!
I agree completely. I really try NOT to push any situation where I
know he probably won't "fall into place" (I like that). but if I
really have to, I try to let other people handle whatever needs to be
done and simply follow him/allow him to guide the situation as much as
possible.
I also recognize that if we've pushed him into something that isn't
going to be a great place for him, I will be doing everything at a
different pace. Otherwise we'll all be miserable.
There aren't very many times we are faced with this....having older
chidlren and a dh that can be available really helps. If you don't
have that, make sure you bring lots of good TOOLS with you for those
children.
One thing I forgot to mention that has REALLY helped in the past, is
to keep a stash of new toys, books, snacks etc... to pull out for such
moments. A stash like that is really good for those stessful days when
everyone seems on edge too.
The dollar store is a good place to stock up on some fun little items.
It's amazing what some new materials can do to relieve tension or
distract a young child.
Ren
energy to get through the situation gracefully, and I find that I need
to be prepared to give him that energy without being resentful that
things aren't just falling into place."
Thanks for clarifying that further Danielle!
I agree completely. I really try NOT to push any situation where I
know he probably won't "fall into place" (I like that). but if I
really have to, I try to let other people handle whatever needs to be
done and simply follow him/allow him to guide the situation as much as
possible.
I also recognize that if we've pushed him into something that isn't
going to be a great place for him, I will be doing everything at a
different pace. Otherwise we'll all be miserable.
There aren't very many times we are faced with this....having older
chidlren and a dh that can be available really helps. If you don't
have that, make sure you bring lots of good TOOLS with you for those
children.
One thing I forgot to mention that has REALLY helped in the past, is
to keep a stash of new toys, books, snacks etc... to pull out for such
moments. A stash like that is really good for those stessful days when
everyone seems on edge too.
The dollar store is a good place to stock up on some fun little items.
It's amazing what some new materials can do to relieve tension or
distract a young child.
Ren
Pamela Sorooshian
I just about live out of my car and am not at all good about cleaning
it out. (Understatement of the year! <G>)
I cannot TELL you how many times I've pulled out toys, games, cards,
paper and markers, scissors, a roll of tape, a pack of post-it notes,
some aluminum foil, SOMETHING - to hand to someone else's younger
child who is having a hard time because HE was dragged along to
something and is bored.
Recently I pulled out a bag of cotton balls and some wooden
chopsticks that just happened to be in my car - I showed the little
boy how to hold the chopsticks and use them to pick up cotton balls.
Pretty soon he was wandering around finding things to pick up with
the chopsticks.
Sometimes this doesn't work, of course - and I think it is because
what they NEED is their own mother to be the one doing it, instead of
being preoccupied - usually with talking to the other moms.
I know that moms of young kids sometimes do get kind of desperate for
that adult conversation and don't want to give it up to spend their
time with their own little ones - at the park, for example, seems
like the young child just "ought to" be able to play on the
playground for a while without mom, right? But sometimes they really
can't and if the mom could only see it from a different vantage
point, I think she'd see that the time spent NOW with the needy child
will do more to create peace in her family then the benefit mom will
get from the adult interaction.
Preaching to the choir, here, I'm sure. But for those who DO keep
their focus on their kids - kudos! You won't ever regret it.
-pam
it out. (Understatement of the year! <G>)
I cannot TELL you how many times I've pulled out toys, games, cards,
paper and markers, scissors, a roll of tape, a pack of post-it notes,
some aluminum foil, SOMETHING - to hand to someone else's younger
child who is having a hard time because HE was dragged along to
something and is bored.
Recently I pulled out a bag of cotton balls and some wooden
chopsticks that just happened to be in my car - I showed the little
boy how to hold the chopsticks and use them to pick up cotton balls.
Pretty soon he was wandering around finding things to pick up with
the chopsticks.
Sometimes this doesn't work, of course - and I think it is because
what they NEED is their own mother to be the one doing it, instead of
being preoccupied - usually with talking to the other moms.
I know that moms of young kids sometimes do get kind of desperate for
that adult conversation and don't want to give it up to spend their
time with their own little ones - at the park, for example, seems
like the young child just "ought to" be able to play on the
playground for a while without mom, right? But sometimes they really
can't and if the mom could only see it from a different vantage
point, I think she'd see that the time spent NOW with the needy child
will do more to create peace in her family then the benefit mom will
get from the adult interaction.
Preaching to the choir, here, I'm sure. But for those who DO keep
their focus on their kids - kudos! You won't ever regret it.
-pam
On Nov 15, 2005, at 8:34 AM, Ren Allen wrote:
> One thing I forgot to mention that has REALLY helped in the past, is
> to keep a stash of new toys, books, snacks etc... to pull out for such
> moments. A stash like that is really good for those stessful days when
> everyone seems on edge too.
> The dollar store is a good place to stock up on some fun little items.
> It's amazing what some new materials can do to relieve tension or
> distract a young child.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Deb
--- In [email protected], Pamela Sorooshian
<pamsoroosh@e...> wrote:
crayons left behind at restaurants (by kids who had better at home)
and keep them and small notepads in my purse for situations where
young kids needed some help dealing with a waiting/play quietly
situation. My friends often marvelled at how I could always find
something in my purse to amuse a kid (and it wasn't all that huge a
purse lol).
More recently, I was at a hs meeting - one of the
standard 'beginning of the school year let's discuss the legalities
in this state for you newcomers' things. I'd heard it before but I
usually try to go (or DH goes, or we both go if MIL can watch DS)
mostly as an 'old hand' to help reassure the newcomers that yes, you
can do this AND you don't need curriculum either. I always have pen
and notepad for these just in case there's anything of interest
(maybe a website gets mentioned or something). Mom, Dad and young
girl in the row ahead of me (child is around 5). She does as well as
she can for a bit then starts getting fidgety. I grab my pen and
notepad and tap her mom on the shoulder and mime giving the writing
gear to the girl. She draws for a bit then hands it back - I
whispered that she could keep it (we buy pens and notepads in bulk
lol!) but she handed it back - got her past the worst stretch AND I
got some lovely drawings in the bargain.
--Deb
<pamsoroosh@e...> wrote:
>Back in my single days, I'd often collect the little 4 packs of
> I cannot TELL you how many times I've pulled out toys, games,
>cards,
> paper and markers, scissors, a roll of tape, a pack of post-it
>notes,
> some aluminum foil, SOMETHING - to hand to someone else's younger
> child who is having a hard time because HE was dragged along to
> something and is bored.
crayons left behind at restaurants (by kids who had better at home)
and keep them and small notepads in my purse for situations where
young kids needed some help dealing with a waiting/play quietly
situation. My friends often marvelled at how I could always find
something in my purse to amuse a kid (and it wasn't all that huge a
purse lol).
More recently, I was at a hs meeting - one of the
standard 'beginning of the school year let's discuss the legalities
in this state for you newcomers' things. I'd heard it before but I
usually try to go (or DH goes, or we both go if MIL can watch DS)
mostly as an 'old hand' to help reassure the newcomers that yes, you
can do this AND you don't need curriculum either. I always have pen
and notepad for these just in case there's anything of interest
(maybe a website gets mentioned or something). Mom, Dad and young
girl in the row ahead of me (child is around 5). She does as well as
she can for a bit then starts getting fidgety. I grab my pen and
notepad and tap her mom on the shoulder and mime giving the writing
gear to the girl. She draws for a bit then hands it back - I
whispered that she could keep it (we buy pens and notepads in bulk
lol!) but she handed it back - got her past the worst stretch AND I
got some lovely drawings in the bargain.
--Deb