Geneva Goza

My son Echo is almost 5 yo. We came to unschooling about a yr and a half
ago and that has led us closer to TCS and radical unschooling. I recognize
that it is a journey and dh and I have lots to learn but more than anything
I want/try to be respectful, patient and understanding. Now for my dilemma
- Echo has a friend Aanaleese, she is 5.5 and homeschooled in a very relaxed
way, her mom and I have been friends for about a year and I consider her
very dear and I see our friendship as a very important one that I want to
nurture and grow old with - I hope that makes sense. I have lots of
girlfriends but I see her and her family as special.

Aanaleese and Echo play together about once per week, sometimes more.



In the past couple of mos, when she visits they play "family", where Echo is
the dad, Aanaleese is the mom and my 2 yo daughter is either the gma or more
recently the daughter. Echo and Aanaleese are very loving and nurturing to
their "daughter" and honestly I have teared up over some of the sweet
situations that have come up in their "parenting" of their "daughter". I
can go into more detail as needed.



My question is this.Echo has never expressed any type of romantic feelings
or play with any other kids so this is all very new for me. I have noticed
lately that lately when they play "family" Aanaleese always likes to bring
the role playing into bedtime.where the mom and dad are going to bed. So
this basically means 2 5 yo going to bed in the middle of the day. What do
they do - they lie in bed. There has been talk of "would you like to take
your wedding ring off and put it on the table with mine" etc. It's all very
innocent and sweet and I feel proud that they both have loving relationships
to model. Dh and I are very affectionate and always have been without
feeling shameful or as if we should not kiss/hug in front of the kids.



Again, I am happy to divuldge any info to help you understand the goings on
without typing it all out now. I'm just wondering in a nut shell if this
all sounds okay and if you would be comfortable with all of this. In my
heart I am okay with it but not sure "how" to handle it or if I should
"handle" anything in th e first place. We have a 2 story house where the
kids have 2 bedrooms and a bath upstairs. When my kids are home without
friends over, they choose to be downstairs with me ut when they have
Aanaleese over, they choose to be upstairs.I do pop in and visit with them,
I also invite them down to do other things with me but when Aanaleese is
over they are almost always in character it seems. There are 3 beds
upstairs as well as a pretend kitchen, living area, dinette, dress up box
etc.so that is the 'family's" homestead and when I try to involve myself
they obviously do not want/need me there.



On Friday.the kids came down for a snack and while I was preparing it, I
peeked into the living room to see Echo and Aanaleese in eachother's arms.
Well ithought it was very sweet but at the same time (was it MY upbringing
that triggered these feelings?) it did make me a tad uncomfortable. Again,
it was very innocent and loving looking.Echo says she is his best friend
ever and he loves her very much OR do I need to have a talk with my son.



I guess I am just a bit confused.are they too young? My parents shamed me
for this sort of thing and I don't want to make them feel shameful - they
really do love eachother, but they are 5!!!! Gotta go now but I look
forward to some feed back and hearing what you all would do/ have done in
this situation.



Geneva Goza

Personal Chef Services

214-660-0231

214-663-0141 cell

gozas@...





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>>My question is this. Echo has never expressed any type of romantic feelings or play with any other kids so this is all very new for me. I have noticed lately that lately when they play "family" Aanaleese always likes to bring the role playing into bedtime.where the mom and dad are going to bed...

...I'm just wondering in a nut shell if this all sounds okay and if you would be comfortable with all of this.>>

This all sounds sweet and innocent to me. As long as you can talk freely with Echo and check in periodically to make sure both kids are comfortable with the game, I wouldn't worry.

--
~Mary, unschooling mom to Conor (16) and Casey (11)
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/CorvallisTLC/


"The miracle is not to walk on water. The miracle is to walk on the
green earth, dwelling deeply in the present moment and feeling truly
alive."

Geneva Goza

MaRY - THANKS for your reply and for sharing your wisdom! I really
appreciate it. I have a feeling you are correct, it's the not worrying part
that is a challenge!
Again thank you.

>>My question is this. Echo has never expressed any type of romantic
feelings or play with any other kids so this is all very new for me. I have
noticed lately that lately when they play "family" Aanaleese always likes to
bring the role playing into bedtime.where the mom and dad are going to
bed...

...I'm just wondering in a nut shell if this all sounds okay and if you
would be comfortable with all of this.>>

This all sounds sweet and innocent to me. As long as you can talk freely
with Echo and check in periodically to make sure both kids are comfortable
with the game, I wouldn't worry.

--
~Mary, unschooling mom to Conor (16) and Casey (11)