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In a message dated 10/30/2005 7:18:09 P.M. Eastern Standard Time,
fivefreebirds@... writes:

*My mom said the other day about my daughter, "I suppose we would
have all
been free like that had we been raised without so many rules."*

And what is wrong with being free? Did she say that in a good way
or a bad way?


***************

This particular time she said it in a positive way, but she has certainly
meant it negatively, too.

*****888And, yes, it is Jalen, my wonderful nephew!!!! He is a
hooooooooot!!! And you know what is so great about him, and other
kids like him? He is VERY good at articulating what he needs, I
love that! There were times at the conference when he would come to
Ren and say, "Mom, I haven't seen you in a while and I NEEEEED you."*****

One day, we drove by a strip center and it was busy with some sort of little
exhibition of fire and rescue trucks. My 5 year old wanted to go and Nick,
9, did not. After pleading him for a bit, Emmy said "well, why exactly to
you not want to go? Maybe we can figure something out that would work for both
of us?" Nick, who is very challenged in speech and language thought for a
minute and said "I don't like to talk to people I don't know." Emmy said,
"Mom, can you talk for Nick?" I said of course and she asked if that would work
for him. He agreed and we went and had a great time.

I loved it. Emmy knew Nick was uncomfortable about something and she
figured out how to help him articulate it. He wasn't afraid to express his fear.
They both trusted me enough that I would hold up my end of the solution and
not let him get into an uncomfortable situation.

For me, this small event was a huge deal. How many different ways this
could have gone and ending up with someone hurt or upset? I had very little to
do with their exchange, but I know how much work on my part laid the ground
work for it. I think it is things like this that a typical family would gloss
over, they would think I was really lucky to have kids that get along and
look out for each other. But I know that every time I asked them their opinion
and did my best to act on it gave them the freedom and trust to solve a
problem and follow-through. Something many adults can't do!

Leslie in SC





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