Amber Kelley

Hi - I'm Amber, don't recall if I've introduced myself on this list or not. I joined several in the last week or so. I have 3 children - Ben (12), Neil (11) and Rachel (2). This is our first year of homeschooling and I se us headed toward unschooling. Neil has ADHD (seriously - you can see it even during the summer when he's not in school - just very distracted, can't focus on you long enough to have a conversation). Ben was 'diagnosed' as well but I'm far more skeptical about him. He's a voracious reader and generally a "good student".
We are two weeks into our 'school' experience and it works... sort of. I tried the first week to follow the curriculum - what a nightmare! Trying to force them to complete things in a set time period, then trying to get them to just finish all the 'work' in one day. I don't know who came up with it but it doesn't work when you have multiple levels working together. I just dread the idea of pushing them through textbook after textbook, workbook after workbook. I just *know* that they would learn better by dtudying things they're interested in. They'd be more successful and happier.
I'm worried about transitioning to unschooling because I filed with the State of VT saying that we were going to accomplish certain things this year (scope and sequence) and I worry that it may cause problems at the end of the year. On the birght side - the scope and sequence I filed was for the grade levels they completed last year in ps - so they know alot of the stuff already and the rest won't be hard for them to pick up on (I don't think).
How do you deal with the state? I imagine it must be next to impossible to come up with a learning plan when you allow them to learn at their own pace.
Neil is an artist and a scientist at heart but hates anything that has to do with language skills. He loves kinex, steel tecs, weather phenomena (we've watched alot of hurricane coverage lately), and anything where he can be creative. But if you put a science text in front of him he can't retain a thing and he's miserable.
Ben is a reader. he loves Lord of the Rings and has shown an interest in history as well. He HATES math. He just told me he'd like to just sit here and read all day... sounds good to me!!
Regarding deschooling - if I use the formula below it would be YEARS before they were ready to learn again! LOL. I'm trying to balance my responsibility to achieve what I've told the state we'd do with allowing them to pursue their passions. I'm not forcing huge amounts of bookwork anymore - it's not worth the headache, but I am trying to get through some of it each day or every other day. I'm trying to follow their cues - if it looks like a bad day for bookwork then I make sure they do their chores and try to keep them semi engaged. Some days are just gamecube days - it really depends on the cues I'm getting from them. (yes we still have times when they aren't allowed to use it - either as punishment or because we'd like to see them do something else - I'm learning to let go in baby steps).
My general impression is that this is working out for us. That was reinforced yesterday when Ben spent HOURS working on penmanship skills (he was always criticized in ps for his poor penmanship). He was so proud of the results that he hung them on the wall! It was the first thing he wanted to show dad when he got home from work. I didn't force him to sit down and work on it. They have a list of one weeks worth of 'bookwork' that is a framework for what they need to accomplish. I wigged out when they didn't get it all done last week but now I'm realizing that they are working at their own pace.
It's hard for me because I really just want to set them loose but I'm so tied to 'traditional' education. Anyway - I'm rambling now. Any encouragement or direction would be appreciated!

Amber

[email protected] wrote
But what your daughter is doing right now isn't unschooling. It is
*de*schooling. She needs downtime to recover from being forced to
learn. Rule of thumb is 1 month for every month she was in school (or
made to do school work). And, as Ren often points out, that resets if
you breakdown and make her do some school work even for a little bit.




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jlh44music

Welcome Amber!
My dd (13) just finished 6th grade and we're also new to
homeschooling. I SAY homeschooling, but we're really drawn to
unschooling. Danielle is deschooling big time, yes the "rule" of 1
month for every day in school is a good guideline, but it varies.
Kids who have always been in school need time to heal, to learn that
they're not going to be made to do "stupid worksheets" (dd's
description!) etc etc.

>>>>>>>Trying to force them to complete things in a set time period,
then trying to get them to just finish all the 'work' in one day. I
don't know who came up with it but it doesn't work when you have
multiple levels working together. I just dread the idea of pushing
them through textbook after textbook, workbook after workbook. I
just *know* that they would learn better by dtudying things they're
interested in. They'd be more successful and happier.>>>>

You're on the right track! Trust your heart and your gut feelings
about what is right for your children!

>>>>>>> I'm worried about transitioning to unschooling because I
filed with the State of VT saying that we were going to accomplish
certain things this year...... How do you deal with the state? I
imagine it must be next to impossible to come up with a learning plan
when you allow them to learn at their own pace.>>>>

Have you found any local support groups (homeschooling/unschooling)
in VT? check out nhen.org, they list them by state. Even if you
join a homeschool support group, you'll often find unschoolers there
too. Also, is one of the yahoo groups you recently joined
NewEnglandUnschoolers? (I'm there too!). They're not as busy
sometimes, but someone there from VT might pop in to give you some
state specific advice (and here as well!). Make sure you post your
topic specific enough to grab attention.

We have 3 choices in MA of assessment-standardized testing, portfolio
of dated work samples or a narrative report. We decided to do the
narrative. Here's a sample of an unschooling curriculum.
http://sandradodd.com/unschoolingcurriculum.html

>>>>> Ben is a reader. he loves Lord of the Rings and has shown an
interest in history as well. He HATES math. He just told me he'd
like to just sit here and read all day... sounds good to me!!>>>

GREAT! Let go and let him read all day! My dd hates math too! (but
also doesn't like to read for pleasure, but I know she can read, she
reads for necessity, ie the book of the computer game she's currently
absorbed with).

>>>>> (yes we still have times when they aren't allowed to use it -
either as punishment or because we'd like to see them do something
else - I'm learning to let go in baby steps).>>>>>>>

Again, read as much as you can about unschooling. Especially pay
attention when respecting our children is discussed. Children learn
to respect when we treat THEM with respect, not punish them when they
don't do something the way WE think they should. Learn to TRUST.
It's a hard leap. But I HAVE seen a tremendous change in my dd and
in our relationship since we've "let go" of traditional ways of
looking at education. It takes time, but I can tell you, it does
work, IF you commit to changing your ways.

>>>>> My general impression is that this is working out for us.....
They have a list of one weeks worth of 'bookwork' that is a framework
for what they need to accomplish. I wigged out when they didn't get
it all done last week but now I'm realizing that they are working at
their own pace.>>>>

Again, not knowing what VT requires, it's hard to know how to respond
here. Hopefully some unschoolers in VT will be able to help you.

>>>>>> It's hard for me because I really just want to set them loose
but I'm so tied to 'traditional' education. Anyway - I'm rambling
now. Any encouragement or direction would be appreciated!>>>>>>

It's hard to let go of 'schooly" notions of how children learn.
Have you read much about unschooling? Check the links on this group
for book recommendations, websites, articles, etc etc.

My dd was "diagnosed" with ADHD and I went with it because I had
hoped to get her some "services" or assistance in school (HA). It
never felt right, so I kept researching and reading and now realize
it's that her learning style (visual/spatial - picture thinker, right
brained, non-sequential learner) doesn't fit the way most teachers
teach - sequentially (can look a lot like ADHD). Plus the first
year of middle school was tough for her, changing classes, she needs
more time to transition and more time to finish work to completion.
Being at home allows her to finish things (and I'm NOT talking math
worksheets!) at her own pace. She really has a bad taste in her
mouth about math because of last year, and we're not going to do
anything remotely like what she was "studying" last year until she
wants to or needs to. She was getting migraine headaches quite a
bit at the end of last year, none since she's been "FREE"! And it's
made such a difference in her to be able to sleep as long as she
needs (they DO need a lot at this age) and pursue her passions as she
heals.

I started looking into homeschooling 2+ years ago and about a year
ago came across the word "unschooling". At first it sounded WAY too
loose for me, but I kept coming back to it, something about it
resonated in me. I read everything I could get my hands on, joined
this group and lurked for a while (there are a lot of experienced
unschoolers here who have posted some great thoughts - check the
archives!).

It's probably going to be pretty quiet here for a couple of weeks as
everyone is gearing up to go to the annual Live and Learn Conference
in St Louis (sadly, we can't make it this year, but next year for
sure), so keep posting, and especially reading prior posts and the
links etc.

liveandlearnconference.org

Jann (in MA)

Brandie

--- Amber Kelley <kelleysvt@...> wrote:
> I just *know* that they would learn
> better by dtudying things they're interested in.

Welcome to the list!
Unschooling is actually not about studying -- it is
simply living life joyfully, our children doing what
they enjoy and interests them. I don't consider it
"studying" because we don't set out to engage in
activity because of its educational value (there is
not a pursuit of knowledge). We do things because we
want to, because we enjoy them, regardless of what we
might learn from it.

> How do you deal with the state? I imagine it must
> be next to impossible to come up with a learning
> plan when you allow them to learn at their own pace.

Every state is different, so I encourage you to ask
this question of someone who is unschooling in VT
(someone here might be).

It is not impossible to create a learning plan when
your state requires it and your are unschooling.
Usually it just takes a bit of creativity on your
part.

> Regarding deschooling - if I use the formula below
> it would be YEARS before they were ready to learn
> again! LOL.

Your children are learning now, all the time. Even if
your son plays his gamecube from the moment he gets up
to the moment he goes to sleep, he is still learning.
Learning doesn't just happen when you are requiring
schoolwork or schoolish activities.

> I'm not
> forcing huge amounts of bookwork anymore - it's not
> worth the headache, but I am trying to get through
> some of it each day or every other day.

But you are still forcing it. It doesn't matter if
you are doing it a little or a lot. Forcing is
forcing. Forcing, or requiring, bookwork isn't going
to make them learn.


> I'm trying
> to follow their cues - if it looks like a bad day
> for bookwork then I make sure they do their chores
> and try to keep them semi engaged.

I'm not sure what you mean by semi-engaged. Do you
mean that you try to keep them engaged in things that
you feel are worthwhile? Even without your
requirement of bookwork, chores, etc., your children
will generally always be engaged in something -- maybe
TV, gamecube, watching the weather channel.

> Some days are
> just gamecube days -

I would start letting them decide everyday if today is
gamecube day. Believe me, you'll be amazed at how
great life will be with them if you let go of your
controls on things like this.

> I didn't force him
> to sit down and work on it. They have a list of one
> weeks worth of 'bookwork' that is a framework for
> what they need to accomplish.

So, yes, he was forced. Having a list of one weeks
worth of bookwork, even when they get the choice of
when, within that week, to do it, is still forcing.
Even if you make subtle hints that they should do
bookbook, that is still a form of force.

> It's hard for me because I really just want to set
> them loose but I'm so tied to 'traditional'
> education.

I agree, it can be hard. Our family hasn't always
been unschooling. My two oldest children attended
public school for several years. When I first learned
of unschooling, I was intrigued. But I joined lists,
like this, and thought that the unschoolers on it were
nuts. I mean, how could I not require schoolwork?
How could I just let them play the Playstation all
day? How would my kids learn if I didn't at least
require them to do things that seemed "educational"?

I truly wanted unschooling to work for my children and
our family, so I didn't give up. I read everyday
about unschooling. I read on websites, in books, on
lists like this. The more I learned, the more I could
see how unschooling does work.

I love how our life is now -- they love life more. If
you truly want it to work, it will, but it take a lot
of learning on your part, a lot of getting rid of your
current way of thinking.


Brandie
http://tableforfive.blogspot.com
http://homemadeliving.blogspot.com


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