Andrea L. Roher

I have a semi-off-topic question. First some background, I have a 15-
month-old toddler (Tre, my son) who I'm raising in a more-or-less
attachment parenting style with intentions of continuing to unschool
him the rest of his life. We currently live with my in-laws, who
have very strong feelings about how he should be raised, hense the
"more-or-less" part (their kids were all spoiled but had artificial
restrictions at the same time, about the most backward way to raise a
kid I've heard of).

Now to my question. Within the last couple of days, he's taken to
screaming whenever he can't accomplish something. This is almost
always when it's the difficulty of the task that is causing him
problems. Some examples: He screams as he carries around a 2lb
dumbell in each hand. He screams as he tries to drag a blanket off
my chair which is caught on something. He screams when he can't
reach something he wants. He screams when the space he's trying to
enter is too small for him.

Does anyone have any ideas of how to curb this behavior (the
screaming, not the striving for the difficult/impossible) other than
simply telling him not to scream (or solving his problem, which is
likely to lead to extreme spoiling and isn't always possible)? I'm
really at a loss as to what to do here.

Rue Kream

>>or solving his problem, which is
likely to lead to extreme spoiling and isn't always possible

**It sounds like after just 15 months on the planet and (I'm assuming)
without the benefit of a big vocabulary, your son has figured out a way to
communicate that he is frustrated and/or needs help. That's great!

Why would helping him solve his problems lead to 'extreme spoiling'? (It
might help to know what you mean by that phrase.)

It's may not always be possible to solve his problem, but knowing that you
hear him and will help when you can - "That looks very heavy! Is it hard to
carry?" "oh, it's stuck, here, let's move this." "That looks pretty
frustrating. I could pick you up or get a stool if you want." - will likely
lead to good, relationship-building things.

~Rue
http://www.freechild.info/



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[email protected]

15 month olds scream....best thing to do is remain calm and help him out.

Julie S.


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Andrea L. Roher

On 21 Sep 2005 at 19:47, Rue Kream wrote:

> >>or solving his problem, which is
> likely to lead to extreme spoiling and isn't always possible
>
> **It sounds like after just 15 months on the planet and (I'm assuming)
> without the benefit of a big vocabulary, your son has figured out a way to
> communicate that he is frustrated and/or needs help. That's great!
>
> Why would helping him solve his problems lead to 'extreme spoiling'? (It
> might help to know what you mean by that phrase.)

I'm worried about raising a child who thinks that... as I try to
write this, I realize my thinking might be very wrong... the world
revolves around him, that I can fix anything, that... okay, so maybe
I should just help him. But I know that there are spoiled brat
adults (though at the moment I can't define what makes them so) and
I'm just nervous about my son growing up that way.

> It's may not always be possible to solve his problem, but knowing that you
> hear him and will help when you can - "That looks very heavy! Is it hard to
> carry?" "oh, it's stuck, here, let's move this." "That looks pretty
> frustrating. I could pick you up or get a stool if you want." - will likely
> lead to good, relationship-building things.

I do the "that looks heavy" or "I know you can get it" most of the
time, but I guess maybe I should just try to help him more often,
when it's possible.

> ~Rue
> http://www.freechild.info/
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> Yahoo! Groups Links
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[email protected]

In a message dated 9/22/2005 12:00:20 AM Eastern Daylight Time,
jnjstau@... writes:

15 month olds scream....best thing to do is remain calm and help him out.

Julie S



That they do! My baby is 16-mos now, and a shrieker. We just help her with
her situation, if possible. If it's something like, trying to squeeze behind
the entertainment center, then we distract her with something else, remove her
from the area (in a fun way... she loves the "I'm gonna get ya!" game). The
screaming is a phase, and this too shall pass...

Jenny
Homeschooling in Greenfield
Danny (5), Kelsey (3) and Evelyn (1)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Education is not filling a pail but the lighting of a fire. ~William Butler
Yeats



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