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How do you decide if a certain program is appropriate for a
> certain child?
> What about music?
> How do you all handle situations like this?
> Carol
>
I let/help/make my kids (ds13, dd11) decide what is appropriate for them. That's their job. My job is to understand the things they do or don't like, and then find out if a particular movie or CD has that stuff in it. I'm just here to provide information. They know better than I do what will make them scared or upset later. Right now, they may start to watch a movie, and then leave if it is too intense, scary, sexy, boring, whatever. We use the ratings on stuff not to say, "Oh, this is R, your can't watch it." We use the ratings to say, "Oh, this is R, it will probably have stuff you would't want to see." But they have a friend who loves scary movies, so her comfort level with an R movie would be different. Right now, my kids don't even like to watch PG-13 movies!

I also try to allow for changing tastes, just like I do for food.

And modeling is always important. If I avoid a movie or CD for whatever reason, I share that with my kids. That gives them a little more information on how to make a decision--how to pay attention to how things feel to them. I don't get to tell them what the "right" decision is, I just get to share with them how I go about reaching a decision for myself.

Also, I should recommend Parent/Teen Breakthrough: The Relationship Approach by Mira Kershenbaum and Charles Foster. It gives excellent advice! At least I have found it works really well around my house!

Deirdre in Alabama