on to my next delima.....
[email protected]
My youngest ds is 6. And SO much like his dad. Has anyone out there ever
known a person that cannot make a decision on anything? Well, OK, not on
everything, but yesterdays example was purchasing a toy. He picked out 2 different
guys on the same dirtbike, and it took 30 mins and almost sent him into tears
trying to decide which of the two to get. I didn't have the money for both,
so that was out of the question. This happens sometimes at the grocery store
with Lunchables, or other foods he's picking out for lunch or snacks. I do my
best not to put pressure on him, but I just can't buy the whole store, which
would totally make him happy not to have to leave anything behind.
How can I help him? Or can I? I worry about this due to the fact that my
dh is the exact same way. Trying to decide what to get at a restaurant is a
major ordeal for him (and his ds!). It really does affect dh's life not being
able to decide on what to do or when to do it, and I can tell it is a real
struggle sometimes.
thanks all
syndi
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
known a person that cannot make a decision on anything? Well, OK, not on
everything, but yesterdays example was purchasing a toy. He picked out 2 different
guys on the same dirtbike, and it took 30 mins and almost sent him into tears
trying to decide which of the two to get. I didn't have the money for both,
so that was out of the question. This happens sometimes at the grocery store
with Lunchables, or other foods he's picking out for lunch or snacks. I do my
best not to put pressure on him, but I just can't buy the whole store, which
would totally make him happy not to have to leave anything behind.
How can I help him? Or can I? I worry about this due to the fact that my
dh is the exact same way. Trying to decide what to get at a restaurant is a
major ordeal for him (and his ds!). It really does affect dh's life not being
able to decide on what to do or when to do it, and I can tell it is a real
struggle sometimes.
thanks all
syndi
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
pam sorooshian
On Jun 11, 2004, at 11:08 AM, Onesnotenough@... wrote:
Can you figure out what the reason is for you dh not being willing to
make decisions more quickly? Is he afraid of making a mistake? Does he
not like to give up having options so he delays? Or ???
-pam
National Home Education Network
<www.NHEN.org>
Serving the entire homeschooling community since 1999
through information, networking and public relations.
> How can I help him? Or can I? I worry about this due to the factIt can be really really stressful to live that way, I agree.
> that my
> dh is the exact same way. Trying to decide what to get at a
> restaurant is a
> major ordeal for him (and his ds!). It really does affect dh's life
> not being
> able to decide on what to do or when to do it, and I can tell it is a
> real
> struggle sometimes.
> thanks all
Can you figure out what the reason is for you dh not being willing to
make decisions more quickly? Is he afraid of making a mistake? Does he
not like to give up having options so he delays? Or ???
-pam
National Home Education Network
<www.NHEN.org>
Serving the entire homeschooling community since 1999
through information, networking and public relations.
[email protected]
In a message dated 6/11/2004 2:11:49 PM Eastern Standard Time,
Onesnotenough@... writes:
Syndi,
Boy, can I relate. I have a FIL and a DH who are exactly the same way. In
fact, my dh just sat here in the kitchen trying to decide what CD to buy and
where to buy it. It took over an hour to decide between 2 CD's and 2 stores.
(Various Artists type CD with one particular song on he wanted). I'd have been
there and back by now.
Finally, after "deciding" he left and came back 25 minutes later empty
handed. Couldn't decide after he got there, got himself in a funk about it, so just
left and is now upstairs trying to forget about it in front of the TV, I
imagine.
Fortunately, it seems to have skipped a generation in my children because I
don't think there is anything you can honestly do. These guys seemed to be
wired this way and after nearly 20 years I have not figured out a way around
this. For a little guy, I might ask if he'd rather me decide for him, since it is
sooooo very hard. It might take some of the pressure off him if he said yes!
Just a thought.
But I can commiserate - it is absolutely painful having to witness this
indecision. And to Pam - it could be any and all of those things you mention. I
think mostly it is fear of making the wrong decision, so they just don't make
any.
Linda
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Onesnotenough@... writes:
> How can I help him? Or can I?*******************
Syndi,
Boy, can I relate. I have a FIL and a DH who are exactly the same way. In
fact, my dh just sat here in the kitchen trying to decide what CD to buy and
where to buy it. It took over an hour to decide between 2 CD's and 2 stores.
(Various Artists type CD with one particular song on he wanted). I'd have been
there and back by now.
Finally, after "deciding" he left and came back 25 minutes later empty
handed. Couldn't decide after he got there, got himself in a funk about it, so just
left and is now upstairs trying to forget about it in front of the TV, I
imagine.
Fortunately, it seems to have skipped a generation in my children because I
don't think there is anything you can honestly do. These guys seemed to be
wired this way and after nearly 20 years I have not figured out a way around
this. For a little guy, I might ask if he'd rather me decide for him, since it is
sooooo very hard. It might take some of the pressure off him if he said yes!
Just a thought.
But I can commiserate - it is absolutely painful having to witness this
indecision. And to Pam - it could be any and all of those things you mention. I
think mostly it is fear of making the wrong decision, so they just don't make
any.
Linda
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Crystal
Has anyone out there ever known a person that cannot make a decision
on anything?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Oh yes! My youngest two could never make decisions! This was hard
because I had three older kids who never had a problem with
decisions. The way I handled it was to break down each choice for
them so the decision contained less choices. If we went to
McDonalds, for example, I knew they wanted fries and a drink, so the
big choice was what meat they wanted. I would ask, "do you want
chicken, hamburg or fish?". Then it was, "do you want the sandwich
or in nugget form", then "do you want soda or a milk shake". It was
harder in a candy store, though, because there were more choices.
The funniest thing was about a month ago, I mentioned this to my
daughter and she said she thought I asked like that because I
couldn't make a decision--lol.
I would think that the way you could break your son's choice of two
toys down would be to talk about the different features. If the only
difference is color, then only focus on that.
Crystal
on anything?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Oh yes! My youngest two could never make decisions! This was hard
because I had three older kids who never had a problem with
decisions. The way I handled it was to break down each choice for
them so the decision contained less choices. If we went to
McDonalds, for example, I knew they wanted fries and a drink, so the
big choice was what meat they wanted. I would ask, "do you want
chicken, hamburg or fish?". Then it was, "do you want the sandwich
or in nugget form", then "do you want soda or a milk shake". It was
harder in a candy store, though, because there were more choices.
The funniest thing was about a month ago, I mentioned this to my
daughter and she said she thought I asked like that because I
couldn't make a decision--lol.
I would think that the way you could break your son's choice of two
toys down would be to talk about the different features. If the only
difference is color, then only focus on that.
Crystal
[email protected]
I have to agree, a fear of making the wrong decision. Poor guys. I asked if
he'd like me to pick it out, NO, we hid them behind brothers back and said
pick one, NO! So it took forever and a day, at least 30 mins, but he got one.
Guess we'll just go on the way we are and I do remember telling my husband
onetime that whatever he decided on something it was going to be the right
decision. I'll try that with Isaiah!
thanks
syndi
"...since we can't know what knowledge will be most needed in the future, it
is senseless to try to teach it in advance. Instead, we should try to turn out
people who love learning so much and learn so well that they will be able to
learn whatever needs to be learned."
-- John Holt
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
he'd like me to pick it out, NO, we hid them behind brothers back and said
pick one, NO! So it took forever and a day, at least 30 mins, but he got one.
Guess we'll just go on the way we are and I do remember telling my husband
onetime that whatever he decided on something it was going to be the right
decision. I'll try that with Isaiah!
thanks
syndi
"...since we can't know what knowledge will be most needed in the future, it
is senseless to try to teach it in advance. Instead, we should try to turn out
people who love learning so much and learn so well that they will be able to
learn whatever needs to be learned."
-- John Holt
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
Good Idea!
syndi
"...since we can't know what knowledge will be most needed in the future, it
is senseless to try to teach it in advance. Instead, we should try to turn out
people who love learning so much and learn so well that they will be able to
learn whatever needs to be learned."
-- John Holt
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
syndi
"...since we can't know what knowledge will be most needed in the future, it
is senseless to try to teach it in advance. Instead, we should try to turn out
people who love learning so much and learn so well that they will be able to
learn whatever needs to be learned."
-- John Holt
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]