Tina

The following exerpt goes along with the detailed discussion we were
having in relation to children and "chores". Spurred by that
discussion I sought out a few Alfie Kohn books. I am currently
reading, "Unconditional Parenting" and recommend it for anyone that
was facing struggles in relation to that discussion. The below
comes from his book, "You Know What They Say..."

Page 31...

"Rewards motivate people...Whether we know it or not, most of us act
like Skinnerians. It was the Harvard psychologist B.F. Skinner who
popularized the theory of positive reinforcement, which holds that
presenting a reward after a desired behavior will make that behavior
more likely to occur in the future. We apply this principle not
only to training the family pet, but also to raising children,
teaching students, and managing employees. If it's not a doggie
biscuit we offer, then it's an extra dessert or and A on the report
card or a performance bonus.

The problem is that this approach often backfires, particularly when
we're trying to encourage people to be creative. In one study,
fifth- and sixth-grade students were asked to teach a new game to a
younger child. Those who were promised a free movie ticket for
tutoring well turned out to be much less effective than the children
who weren't promised anything: They took longer to communicate
ideas, got frustrated more easily, and ended up with pupils who
didn't understand the game. In another study, people who expected
to receive a prize for making collages or telling stories proved to
be less imaginative at both tasks than those who received nothing.
And in a recent review of programs used by twenty-eight different
companies to encourage seat belt use among employees, the worst
results-especially over the long haul-came from the programs that
used prizes to motivate people to buckle up.

Lots of other research shows the same thing: rewards can be
counterproductive. The reason, it turns out, is connected to what
psychologists call"intrinsic motivation"-a fancy term for enjoying
what you do. The fact is that no artificial inducement to do a good
job can motivate you as effectively as loving your work. (Just
think about someone you know who is sensational at what he or she
does. Now ask youself whether that person enjoys doing it or is
motivated by a paycheck.)

But not only are rewards less effective than intrinsic motivation-
they actually undermine it. You started out doing somthing just
because you found it fun. But once you were rewarded for doing it,
you came to see yourself as working mostly to get the reward. Your
fascination with the task mysteriously vanished along the way and
now you can't be bothered to do it unless there's some reward at
stake."

In the same chapter he goes on to say...

"But rewards can be bad news for still another reason: They
encourage us to focus narrowly on a task, to do it as quickly as
possible and to take few risks. This approach is death to
innovation and artistic exploration. "If they feel 'this is
something I have to get through to get the prize,' they're going to
be less creative," says Brandeis University's Teresa Amabile. The
more emphasis that is placed on an artificial motivator, the more
inclined someone will be to do the minimum necessary to obtain it.

If the question, then, is whether rewards motivate people, the
answer is sure-they motivate people to get rewarded. Unfortunately,
this is often at the expense of interest in, or excellence at,
whatever it is they're doing. The result is that millions of well-
meaning teachers and managiers are at this very moment
systematically destroying the very creativity and curiosity they're
trying to promote.

Other researchers have found that rewards are just as deadly when it
comes to encouraging good behavior. It's tempting to promise a
child another hour of television or some ice cream if he or she does
what you want. Indeed, positive reinforcement is seen by many
parents as a progressive alternative to punishment. The trouble is
that neither punishment nor bribes (which is really what rewards
are) help a child to understand the reason for doing something,
which means he or she is unlikely to keep doing it when there's no
one around to dish out a goodie. Nevermind that it's manipulative-
rewarding is simply ineffective as a long-range strategy."

The chapter says a little more, but the above really sunk in for
me. It has been a few weeks since we eliminated the "dreaded chore
chart" in our home. We have made great strides in a very little
amount of time.

I have not "fought" with any child about anything. We made an
agreement that we would take care of things when we noticed that
they needed to be done, and if something started getting out of hand
I would be able to ask someone to take care of it. (Acknowledging
that I cannot, humanly, do everything) Everyone seems very happy
with our new lifestyle choice. The amazing thing to me is that our
home has stayed clean for an ENTIRE WEEK, and no one has assigned
chores.

Do you understand what happened here? We eliminated assigned chores
and received a happy AND orderly home. Children that used to whine
and complain and avoid helping now do it willingly and cheerfully.
We are not stressed about our living environment. What a blessing!

This has been a wonderful experience for us, and I hope that others
of you in similar situations have an equally enjoyable experience as
well.

Tina