Elisa Allender

>>>From: "Rod Thomas" <flyerrod@...>
Subject: RE: Cartoons and computer games

Im just now jumping into this conversation. Because im still not
convinced. Because some just watch tv. End. Then just play video games.
Period. No tangents. No inspired learning. No pursuits, no follow up.
No questions. No discussions. And all the cool stuff your kids did only
makes me feel that much more frustrated.<<<<<<


This is in response to the above post....... how long have you been "unschooling"? What are the ages of your children? May I suggest that you honestly don't know what they are thinking or learning while they are doing these activities since you can't get "inside their brain"? I have a 9 yr old I tried to teach to read from age 4. He hated the whole phonics thing and the BORING memorization of sounds, etc and after *3 years* he was not catching on to it. I took him to a teacher for testing 2 years ago and she suggested unschooling since my son had grown to absolutely hate school (I was teaching him "the wrong way" every day by making him sit at a table and memorize all these sounds and math facts, etc). Once we started unschooling and he knew he could do whatever he wanted he went through a very long 6 month phase of doing nothing but watching TV or playing Playstation 2 games. At that time the only computer games I had for him were the educational math/phonics
games so he wanted nothing to do with the computer either. It was extremely hard to sit and watch him do this but I had told him that he could do whatever he wanted for awhile so I stuck to my word. He loves to be read to so at bedtime every night we would read him book after book after book. One day we helped my brother move into an apartment and as we were setting his computer up my son happened to notice a couple of "cool-looking" games my brother had and he asked him about them. My sweet brother said he didn't like the games because he couldn't get very far on them so he told my son he could try his luck with them. Now at the time my son was 7 and my brother was in his 30's! lol Anyway, my son came home and immediately started playing those games (Civilization - Call to Power, AD 1503, Crusaders were the names of them.) When I helped him load them on the computer and I saw what they were like I thought to myself, oh great, you have to read and he can't read so he is just going to get frustrated and mad and I am going to have to sit here with him and read everything to him and I really wasn't looking foward to that because those are not MY type of games I like to play. He enjoyed those games so much and has spent hours on them. That was the breakthrough he needed. Ever since that day in January '04 my son has mastered those games (and taught my brother quite a few things!!) and we have gone on to buy him more games like that. This has led us to the Runescape game online which he will play for hours at a time some days and a love for anything medieval. He has learned to read......pretty much on his own.....don't ask me how because I can't explain it, but he has! It is truly amazing!! We are all blown away at what he can read now and the enjoyment he gets out of reading. He can play _any game_ on the computer and he and I love to compete against each other. He saw me playing Monopoly Tycoon one day and he watched me play for awhile and then he started playing and winning.......in the process he learned about money and now his favorite game to play off the computer is Monopoly! All of these computer games have led to a love for something and he just can't get enough of that.....through books, history channel on TV, board games (Stratego, Risk), a Renaissance Festival we took him to, etc. Another thing we did since his love and skill grew for these type of games is to introduce him to the Playstation 2 games my husband had (Medal of Honor and another type like that, can't remember the name right off). I was opposed to these games at first because of the rating (for violence and language) but my husband showed me how they are historical. Of course my son LOVED those games and he and my husband spent hours on those trying to get through all the challenges and in the process he has learned about WW1, WW2, Pearl Harbor, etc. He can tell you all kinds of things about the war and has now taken to learning more about why the wars were started, etc.
I know this is long and if you read it alll the way to the end, thanks for reading. My husband was not sold out on unschooling at all and we argued about it off and on for a year. Finally this past spring I asked my husband to think about our son's learning experiences over the last year and I asked him if he thought our son had grown learning wise or if he was still at the same level that he was at this time last year. When he stopped to realize all the things ds has learned and can do (read! math facts!! handle money, tell time, figure out how to look up info on the computer or in a book when he wants to know more about something he is interested in) and the biggest thing of all is he is doing this stuff now because it is his choice and he loves to do it then my husband became completely sold out on this whole way of life and now contributes to it more by doing more with our son.
Elisa

tracy

Thanks for taking the time to let us peek into your wonderful life!

We have had the same experiences with "deschooling". January 2005, I
started letting them "do what ever they want" Before this I had
rules on TV and Video games. I just kept saying YES, I did'nt make
any public statement in regard to the rule changes...we just lived
life. DS 7, played games pretty much none stop for 6 months. It was
uncomfortable for me and hubby, but I believed the people who had
gone before me. They told me he would come out into the real world
when he was ready. In the mean time I helped he when he asked, find
cheats, read stuff to him...that kind of stuff. I could see all he
was learning from what he was doing. Problem solving, math,
reading,he would come and tell me how many more bells he needed to
pay off his house on animal crossing...love that game! Anyhoo~ One
day about a month ago

He emerged from his cocoon...a deschooled butterfly, ready for
anything. It was amazing! During the 6 months we lived a consensual
life, really honoring his needs. Rebuilding trust in our
relationships. What I'm trying to say is...if you believe in
unschooling...go with it, trust, let go and enjoy life with your
family!

Technology is not the enemy. We don't need to control our TV's. It's
like in the 50's when parents were afraid of Elvis...rock and roll
was evil, people just need things to worry about. It's part of the
human condition. Our minds/ego want us busy, I am learning how to
turn off the voices in my head. I am learning to lay back into the
river of life and just go with the flow...it's so much easier.
Things don't have to be difficult.

Live, love, laugh = learn

Hug Freely~

Tracy in SC


















--- In [email protected], Elisa Allender
<eallender@b...> wrote:
>
>
> >>>From: "Rod Thomas" <flyerrod@d...>
> Subject: RE: Cartoons and computer games
>
> Im just now jumping into this conversation. Because im still not
> convinced. Because some just watch tv. End. Then just play video
games.
> Period. No tangents. No inspired learning. No pursuits, no
follow up.
> No questions. No discussions. And all the cool stuff your kids
did only
> makes me feel that much more frustrated.<<<<<<
>
>
> This is in response to the above post....... how long have you
been "unschooling"? What are the ages of your children? May I
suggest that you honestly don't know what they are thinking or
learning while they are doing these activities since you can't
get "inside their brain"? I have a 9 yr old I tried to teach to
read from age 4. He hated the whole phonics thing and the BORING
memorization of sounds, etc and after *3 years* he was not catching
on to it. I took him to a teacher for testing 2 years ago and she
suggested unschooling since my son had grown to absolutely hate
school (I was teaching him "the wrong way" every day by making him
sit at a table and memorize all these sounds and math facts, etc).
Once we started unschooling and he knew he could do whatever he
wanted he went through a very long 6 month phase of doing nothing
but watching TV or playing Playstation 2 games. At that time the
only computer games I had for him were the educational math/phonics
> games so he wanted nothing to do with the computer either. It
was extremely hard to sit and watch him do this but I had told him
that he could do whatever he wanted for awhile so I stuck to my
word. He loves to be read to so at bedtime every night we would
read him book after book after book. One day we helped my brother
move into an apartment and as we were setting his computer up my son
happened to notice a couple of "cool-looking" games my brother had
and he asked him about them. My sweet brother said he didn't like
the games because he couldn't get very far on them so he told my son
he could try his luck with them. Now at the time my son was 7 and
my brother was in his 30's! lol Anyway, my son came home and
immediately started playing those games (Civilization - Call to
Power, AD 1503, Crusaders were the names of them.) When I helped
him load them on the computer and I saw what they were like I
thought to myself, oh great, you have to read and he can't read so
he is just going to get frustrated and mad and I am going to have to
sit here with him and read everything to him and I really wasn't
looking foward to that because those are not MY type of games I like
to play. He enjoyed those games so much and has spent hours on
them. That was the breakthrough he needed. Ever since that day in
January '04 my son has mastered those games (and taught my brother
quite a few things!!) and we have gone on to buy him more games like
that. This has led us to the Runescape game online which he will
play for hours at a time some days and a love for anything
medieval. He has learned to read......pretty much on his
own.....don't ask me how because I can't explain it, but he has! It
is truly amazing!! We are all blown away at what he can read now
and the enjoyment he gets out of reading. He can play _any game_ on
the computer and he and I love to compete against each other. He
saw me playing Monopoly Tycoon one day and he watched me play for
awhile and then he started playing and winning.......in the process
he learned about money and now his favorite game to play off the
computer is Monopoly! All of these computer games have led to a
love for something and he just can't get enough of that.....through
books, history channel on TV, board games (Stratego, Risk), a
Renaissance Festival we took him to, etc. Another thing we did
since his love and skill grew for these type of games is to
introduce him to the Playstation 2 games my husband had (Medal of
Honor and another type like that, can't remember the name right
off). I was opposed to these games at first because of the rating
(for violence and language) but my husband showed me how they are
historical. Of course my son LOVED those games and he and my
husband spent hours on those trying to get through all the
challenges and in the process he has learned about WW1, WW2, Pearl
Harbor, etc. He can tell you all kinds of things about the war and
has now taken to learning more about why the wars were started, etc.
> I know this is long and if you read it alll the way to the end,
thanks for reading. My husband was not sold out on unschooling at
all and we argued about it off and on for a year. Finally this past
spring I asked my husband to think about our son's learning
experiences over the last year and I asked him if he thought our son
had grown learning wise or if he was still at the same level that he
was at this time last year. When he stopped to realize all the
things ds has learned and can do (read! math facts!! handle money,
tell time, figure out how to look up info on the computer or in a
book when he wants to know more about something he is interested in)
and the biggest thing of all is he is doing this stuff now because
it is his choice and he loves to do it then my husband became
completely sold out on this whole way of life and now contributes to
it more by doing more with our son.
> Elisa

[email protected]

I just wanted to say that this was a really good post, Elisa. I had
attempted to respond, but the whole tone was so negative, I couldn't
even figure out where to begin. Thanks for your views!

~Kelly

Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
October 6-9, 2005
http://liveandlearnconference.org

-----Original Message-----
From: Elisa Allender <eallender@...>

>>>From: "Rod Thomas" <flyerrod@...>
Subject: RE: Cartoons and computer games

Im just now jumping into this conversation. Because im still not
convinced. Because some just watch tv. End. Then just play video games.
Period. No tangents. No inspired learning. No pursuits, no follow up.
No questions. No discussions. And all the cool stuff your kids did only
makes me feel that much more frustrated.<<<<<<


This is in response to the above post....... how long have you been
"unschooling"? What are the ages of your children? May I suggest that
you
honestly don't know what they are thinking or learning while they are
doing
these activities since you can't get "inside their brain"? I have a 9
yr old I
tried to teach to read from age 4. He hated the whole phonics thing
and the
BORING memorization of sounds, etc and after *3 years* he was not
catching on to
it. I took him to a teacher for testing 2 years ago and she suggested
unschooling since my son had grown to absolutely hate school (I was
teaching him
"the wrong way" every day by making him sit at a table and memorize all
these
sounds and math facts, etc). Once we started unschooling and he knew
he could
do whatever he wanted he went through a very long 6 month phase of
doing nothing
but watching TV or playing Playstation 2 games. At that time the only
computer
games I had for him were the educational math/phonics
games so he wanted nothing to do with the computer either. It was
extremely
hard to sit and watch him do this but I had told him that he could do
whatever
he wanted for awhile so I stuck to my word. He loves to be read to so
at
bedtime every night we would read him book after book after book. One
day we
helped my brother move into an apartment and as we were setting his
computer up
my son happened to notice a couple of "cool-looking" games my brother
had and he
asked him about them. My sweet brother said he didn't like the games
because he
couldn't get very far on them so he told my son he could try his luck
with them.
Now at the time my son was 7 and my brother was in his 30's! lol
Anyway, my son
came home and immediately started playing those games (Civilization -
Call to
Power, AD 1503, Crusaders were the names of them.) When I helped him
load them
on the computer and I saw what they were like I thought to myself, oh
great, you
have to read and he can't read so he is just going to get frustrated
and mad and
I am going to have to sit here with him and read everything to him and
I really
wasn't looking foward to that because those are not MY type of games I
like to
play. He enjoyed those games so much and has spent hours on them.
That was the
breakthrough he needed. Ever since that day in January '04 my son has
mastered
those games (and taught my brother quite a few things!!) and we have
gone on to
buy him more games like that. This has led us to the Runescape game
online
which he will play for hours at a time some days and a love for
anything
medieval. He has learned to read......pretty much on his own.....don't
ask me
how because I can't explain it, but he has! It is truly amazing!! We
are all
blown away at what he can read now and the enjoyment he gets out of
reading. He
can play _any game_ on the computer and he and I love to compete
against each
other. He saw me playing Monopoly Tycoon one day and he watched me
play for
awhile and then he started playing and winning.......in the process he
learned
about money and now his favorite game to play off the computer is
Monopoly! All
of these computer games have led to a love for something and he just
can't get
enough of that.....through books, history channel on TV, board games
(Stratego,
Risk), a Renaissance Festival we took him to, etc. Another thing we
did since
his love and skill grew for these type of games is to introduce him to
the
Playstation 2 games my husband had (Medal of Honor and another type
like that,
can't remember the name right off). I was opposed to these games at
first
because of the rating (for violence and language) but my husband showed
me how
they are historical. Of course my son LOVED those games and he and my
husband
spent hours on those trying to get through all the challenges and in
the process
he has learned about WW1, WW2, Pearl Harbor, etc. He can tell you all
kinds of
things about the war and has now taken to learning more about why the
wars were
started, etc.
I know this is long and if you read it alll the way to the end, thanks
for
reading. My husband was not sold out on unschooling at all and we
argued about
it off and on for a year. Finally this past spring I asked my husband
to think
about our son's learning experiences over the last year and I asked him
if he
thought our son had grown learning wise or if he was still at the same
level
that he was at this time last year. When he stopped to realize all the
things
ds has learned and can do (read! math facts!! handle money, tell time,
figure
out how to look up info on the computer or in a book when he wants to
know more
about something he is interested in) and the biggest thing of all is he
is doing
this stuff now because it is his choice and he loves to do it then my
husband
became completely sold out on this whole way of life and now
contributes to it
more by doing more with our son.
Elisa










Yahoo! Groups Links

[email protected]

Another great post! Thanks, Tracy! It's wonderful when newbies can come
back and tell us that it *has* worked for them! It can be quite
inspirational to those who are still struggling!

~Kelly

Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
October 6-9, 2005
http://liveandlearnconference.org

-----Original Message-----
From: tracy <tracyliebmann@...>

Thanks for taking the time to let us peek into your wonderful life!

We have had the same experiences with "deschooling". January 2005, I
started letting them "do what ever they want" Before this I had
rules on TV and Video games. I just kept saying YES, I did'nt make
any public statement in regard to the rule changes...we just lived
life. DS 7, played games pretty much none stop for 6 months. It was
uncomfortable for me and hubby, but I believed the people who had
gone before me. They told me he would come out into the real world
when he was ready. In the mean time I helped he when he asked, find
cheats, read stuff to him...that kind of stuff. I could see all he
was learning from what he was doing. Problem solving, math,
reading,he would come and tell me how many more bells he needed to
pay off his house on animal crossing...love that game! Anyhoo~ One
day about a month ago

He emerged from his cocoon...a deschooled butterfly, ready for
anything. It was amazing! During the 6 months we lived a consensual
life, really honoring his needs. Rebuilding trust in our
relationships. What I'm trying to say is...if you believe in
unschooling...go with it, trust, let go and enjoy life with your
family!

Technology is not the enemy. We don't need to control our TV's. It's
like in the 50's when parents were afraid of Elvis...rock and roll
was evil, people just need things to worry about. It's part of the
human condition. Our minds/ego want us busy, I am learning how to
turn off the voices in my head. I am learning to lay back into the
river of life and just go with the flow...it's so much easier.
Things don't have to be difficult.

Live, love, laugh = learn

Hug Freely~

Tracy in SC

Rod Thomas

>>I just wanted to say that this was a really good post, Elisa. I had
>>attempted to respond, but the whole tone was so negative, I couldn't
>>even figure out where to begin. Thanks for your views!
>>Kelly

It was negative because I feel that way about tv. When you are having a
problem, that usually implies negative, not positive. I was trying very
hard to get through to someone here how serious it is to me. Everyone
keeps assuring me it is nothing to worry about.

I don't talk to my kids that (negative) way, relax. I save my
frustration for ya'll. Can you handle it?

I am glad Elisa's tv watch/wait only lasted 6 months. Mine is going on
many, many years now. I am trying not to limit it, but it just gets
worse. How long do I wait. My worst fear is that they may end up as
old men like their grandfather who does nothing else in his life except
watch tv from sun up to sun down, real life passing him by.

Oops. I am being negative again. This is not directed at ANYone, so
please don't take it personally. It is more like shouting from the
rooftops for someone to listen. I am scared.

Ok, I am reading your replies, I will think about all this. That's
enough for me, moving on now...

Flyerkat (Kathy)

[email protected]

-----Original Message-----
From: Rod Thomas <flyerrod@...>

It was negative because I feel that way about tv. When you are having a
problem, that usually implies negative, not positive. I was trying very
hard to get through to someone here how serious it is to me. Everyone
keeps assuring me it is nothing to worry about.

-=-=-=-

It's not! <g> Try to see it as a good thing.

-=-=-=-=-

I don't talk to my kids that (negative) way, relax. I save my
frustration for ya'll. Can you handle it?

-=-=-=-

Well, for a while. <g>

But it's imperative to start seeing *all* learning as valuable.

-=-==-

I am glad Elisa's tv watch/wait only lasted 6 months. Mine is going on
many, many years now. I am trying not to limit it, but it just gets
worse. How long do I wait. My worst fear is that they may end up as
old men like their grandfather who does nothing else in his life except
watch tv from sun up to sun down, real life passing him by.

-=-=-=-

Uh huh. Are your children their grandfather? Or are they their own
persons? Are you telling them that this might happen to them?

Did Grandad go to school? Get shamed for his passions? Does he *have*
any passions?

-=-=-=-

Oops. I am being negative again. This is not directed at ANYone, so
please don't take it personally. It is more like shouting from the
rooftops for someone to listen. I am scared.

-=-=-=

We know. We were all there at some time too.

I just wish I could have found unschooling YEARS before I did! Our
lives could have been so much better so much sooner. *THAT* is why
we're here every day to help you.

Deep breaths, Kathy. Start asking "why" a lot. Stop and breathe before
you say something you'll regret later.

Patience. Time. Trust. Respect.

~Kelly

Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
October 6-9, 2005
http://liveandlearnconference.org