Teenagers
Rose
I read a lot of posts about babies and children under the age of 10,
but there seems to be very little information out there for those of
us who have teenagers.
I'm not really sure what kind of info I am looking for, but my
teenagers tend to only want to play video games yet they get bored
with them. My 15 yo seems to feel that something is missing, yet he
doesn't seem interested in taking any kind of classes or sports,
even for fun. I think he feels that he wants to be learning more
advanced "stuff", but I'm not sure how to go about finding
opportunities for him to learn at this age without doing "school-at-
home". He is interested in science, cars, and loves hard physical
labor (gets that from his Dad, not me). My 13 yo gets bored with the
games but still seems content to play with his k'nex and read or
just hang out with Mom, so it's mostly my 15 (almost 16) yo that I
need suggestions for.
We've been unschooling for 4 years now and before that we had done
some very relaxed homeschooling.
I know some unschoolers who seem to be motivated to find activities
that they are interested in, but mine don't seem to have that
motivation. Also, our funds are very limited to do ongoing classes
and such.
Maybe someone with teens could offer some suggestions as to how they
have helped them find things to do and ways to continue learning.
but there seems to be very little information out there for those of
us who have teenagers.
I'm not really sure what kind of info I am looking for, but my
teenagers tend to only want to play video games yet they get bored
with them. My 15 yo seems to feel that something is missing, yet he
doesn't seem interested in taking any kind of classes or sports,
even for fun. I think he feels that he wants to be learning more
advanced "stuff", but I'm not sure how to go about finding
opportunities for him to learn at this age without doing "school-at-
home". He is interested in science, cars, and loves hard physical
labor (gets that from his Dad, not me). My 13 yo gets bored with the
games but still seems content to play with his k'nex and read or
just hang out with Mom, so it's mostly my 15 (almost 16) yo that I
need suggestions for.
We've been unschooling for 4 years now and before that we had done
some very relaxed homeschooling.
I know some unschoolers who seem to be motivated to find activities
that they are interested in, but mine don't seem to have that
motivation. Also, our funds are very limited to do ongoing classes
and such.
Maybe someone with teens could offer some suggestions as to how they
have helped them find things to do and ways to continue learning.
[email protected]
-----Original Message-----
From: Rose <rosejansen@...>
I read a lot of posts about babies and children under the age of 10,
but there seems to be very little information out there for those of
us who have teenagers.
-=-=-=-=-
<G>
I laugh about this all the time! Newbies come on and say what you said.
Or they say thatmost people seem to talk about teens all teh time. What
about little ones? Or all of you seem to have large families, what
about onelies? Or most families seem to have onely one or two kids,
what about large families? <G>
-=-=-=-=-=-
I'm not really sure what kind of info I am looking for, but my
teenagers tend to only want to play video games yet they get bored
with them. My 15 yo seems to feel that something is missing, yet he
doesn't seem interested in taking any kind of classes or sports,
even for fun. I think he feels that he wants to be learning more
advanced "stuff", but I'm not sure how to go about finding
opportunities for him to learn at this age without doing "school-at-
home". He is interested in science, cars, and loves hard physical
labor (gets that from his Dad, not me).
-=-=-=-=-
Cameron went through this stage too. I think it's just the calm before
the storm! <g>
Science is a broad subject. Can you break it down to something more
manageable? Geology? Anatomy? Entymology? Ornithology? Zoology?
Astronomy? Chemistry? Physics?
I doubt all branches of science are equally fascinating. I hate
rocks---but Deb loves 'em! <g>
Cars---what about them? Design? Speed? Motors? Racing?
Hard, physical labor---Gardening? Building? Chopping? Toting? Picking
cotton? <g>
From 12.5 to 14, Cameron pretty much did nothing. Deschooling. Healing.
But at 17, he is soooo busy!
Has he thought of starting his own business? Fifteen can do so much!
Are you coming to the conference? Meeting other teens who are active
and involved can be so helpful!
-=-=-=-=-
I know some unschoolers who seem to be motivated to find activities
that they are interested in, but mine don't seem to have that
motivation. Also, our funds are very limited to do ongoing classes
and such.
-=-=-=-=-=
He still may need to heal. I thought Cameron would never come around.
But he started skateboarding, which led to filming, which led to
drumming, which is his now passion.
Working is also wonderful. Cameron has met so many people (almost all
are older). It's given him a lot of confidence and self-assurance.
~Kelly
From: Rose <rosejansen@...>
I read a lot of posts about babies and children under the age of 10,
but there seems to be very little information out there for those of
us who have teenagers.
-=-=-=-=-
<G>
I laugh about this all the time! Newbies come on and say what you said.
Or they say thatmost people seem to talk about teens all teh time. What
about little ones? Or all of you seem to have large families, what
about onelies? Or most families seem to have onely one or two kids,
what about large families? <G>
-=-=-=-=-=-
I'm not really sure what kind of info I am looking for, but my
teenagers tend to only want to play video games yet they get bored
with them. My 15 yo seems to feel that something is missing, yet he
doesn't seem interested in taking any kind of classes or sports,
even for fun. I think he feels that he wants to be learning more
advanced "stuff", but I'm not sure how to go about finding
opportunities for him to learn at this age without doing "school-at-
home". He is interested in science, cars, and loves hard physical
labor (gets that from his Dad, not me).
-=-=-=-=-
Cameron went through this stage too. I think it's just the calm before
the storm! <g>
Science is a broad subject. Can you break it down to something more
manageable? Geology? Anatomy? Entymology? Ornithology? Zoology?
Astronomy? Chemistry? Physics?
I doubt all branches of science are equally fascinating. I hate
rocks---but Deb loves 'em! <g>
Cars---what about them? Design? Speed? Motors? Racing?
Hard, physical labor---Gardening? Building? Chopping? Toting? Picking
cotton? <g>
From 12.5 to 14, Cameron pretty much did nothing. Deschooling. Healing.
But at 17, he is soooo busy!
Has he thought of starting his own business? Fifteen can do so much!
Are you coming to the conference? Meeting other teens who are active
and involved can be so helpful!
-=-=-=-=-
I know some unschoolers who seem to be motivated to find activities
that they are interested in, but mine don't seem to have that
motivation. Also, our funds are very limited to do ongoing classes
and such.
-=-=-=-=-=
He still may need to heal. I thought Cameron would never come around.
But he started skateboarding, which led to filming, which led to
drumming, which is his now passion.
Working is also wonderful. Cameron has met so many people (almost all
are older). It's given him a lot of confidence and self-assurance.
~Kelly
Pam Sorooshian
Rose - there are LOTS of us here with teenage (and even older)
unschooled kids. I have three - 14, 17, and 20.
Still - I'm having trouble responding to your questions.
Maybe you just need to get more interesting stuff going on in your
family life? Take a trip? Get a series of great movies? Start a tv
series from the beginning (We've been watching West Wing starting with
the first season. My 20 yo has been watching The Sopranos, starting
with the first season -- getting them from Netflix, by the way). Cook a
big feast? Have a party? Remodel the kids' rooms? If they still like
video games but seem bored with them, too, then get them started
playing online multiplayer games maybe?
What do YOU do that is interesting?
-pam
unschooled kids. I have three - 14, 17, and 20.
Still - I'm having trouble responding to your questions.
Maybe you just need to get more interesting stuff going on in your
family life? Take a trip? Get a series of great movies? Start a tv
series from the beginning (We've been watching West Wing starting with
the first season. My 20 yo has been watching The Sopranos, starting
with the first season -- getting them from Netflix, by the way). Cook a
big feast? Have a party? Remodel the kids' rooms? If they still like
video games but seem bored with them, too, then get them started
playing online multiplayer games maybe?
What do YOU do that is interesting?
-pam
On Jul 20, 2005, at 6:52 AM, Rose wrote:
> I read a lot of posts about babies and children under the age of 10,
> but there seems to be very little information out there for those of
> us who have teenagers.
J. Stauffer
My oldest is 14. She is really into 4-H. It isn't just raising animals and baking pies. Our county does stuff with computers, woodworking, ballistics, skeet and trap shooting. And it is quite inexpensive compared to classes and lessons.
You might call your extension office and see what is going on in your county. You might find something that interests your son.
Julie S.
You might call your extension office and see what is going on in your county. You might find something that interests your son.
Julie S.
----- Original Message -----
From: Rose
To: [email protected]
Sent: Wednesday, July 20, 2005 8:52 AM
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] Teenagers
I read a lot of posts about babies and children under the age of 10,
but there seems to be very little information out there for those of
us who have teenagers.
I'm not really sure what kind of info I am looking for, but my
teenagers tend to only want to play video games yet they get bored
with them. My 15 yo seems to feel that something is missing, yet he
doesn't seem interested in taking any kind of classes or sports,
even for fun. I think he feels that he wants to be learning more
advanced "stuff", but I'm not sure how to go about finding
opportunities for him to learn at this age without doing "school-at-
home". He is interested in science, cars, and loves hard physical
labor (gets that from his Dad, not me). My 13 yo gets bored with the
games but still seems content to play with his k'nex and read or
just hang out with Mom, so it's mostly my 15 (almost 16) yo that I
need suggestions for.
We've been unschooling for 4 years now and before that we had done
some very relaxed homeschooling.
I know some unschoolers who seem to be motivated to find activities
that they are interested in, but mine don't seem to have that
motivation. Also, our funds are very limited to do ongoing classes
and such.
Maybe someone with teens could offer some suggestions as to how they
have helped them find things to do and ways to continue learning.
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herbshed
Sometimes my 15 y/o finds a video game that he likes and stays up all night
playing it...and if it's really one he likes, I may not see him but just a
few minutes here and there for a few days <grin>. But he's also in 4-H
(president of the club), has a part-time job that he loves (working at the
local feed store), and bow hunts about 4 months out of the year :) He
recently came back from Washington DC (4-H trip), but called every night
saying it was ok, but that he missed us and wished he were home (definitely
sounds like he's a child slave, doesn't it? LOL) He also rides his bike to
the local rec center to swim and workout with friends. He took a college
entry algebra class last year (was free, and taught by a senior university
student who had been homeschooled), simply because a homeschool friend of
his was going. Turned out that he liked the class :)
Lately he's been becoming more involved with the youth group at church and
thinking about going to South America as a youth missionary.
He's never been what I would call a motivated child, so what I do is keep my
eyes and ears open for any opportunity that involves youth, and then pass
the info on to him. Sometimes he just shrugs and says he's not interested,
and other times he take the idea and runs with it.
~S~
playing it...and if it's really one he likes, I may not see him but just a
few minutes here and there for a few days <grin>. But he's also in 4-H
(president of the club), has a part-time job that he loves (working at the
local feed store), and bow hunts about 4 months out of the year :) He
recently came back from Washington DC (4-H trip), but called every night
saying it was ok, but that he missed us and wished he were home (definitely
sounds like he's a child slave, doesn't it? LOL) He also rides his bike to
the local rec center to swim and workout with friends. He took a college
entry algebra class last year (was free, and taught by a senior university
student who had been homeschooled), simply because a homeschool friend of
his was going. Turned out that he liked the class :)
Lately he's been becoming more involved with the youth group at church and
thinking about going to South America as a youth missionary.
He's never been what I would call a motivated child, so what I do is keep my
eyes and ears open for any opportunity that involves youth, and then pass
the info on to him. Sometimes he just shrugs and says he's not interested,
and other times he take the idea and runs with it.
~S~
Rose
Hi Pam, Thank you for not evaluating every word I said.
I think you are right, we do need to get more interesting stuff
going on in our family life. We definitely don't need any trips. We
have spent the last two years taking trips to visit and care for my
Mother who had been sick. I guess I am trying to figure out once
again how to concentrate on helping my children find what they need
to make life more intersting. We watch movies, they play online
games, they've done all that stuff and it just seems to be boring.
They're just tired of it. The only thing we haven't done is have a
party. That sounds like a great idea!
I guess it used to be easy when they were younger and they would go
outside for hours looking for bugs, snakes, lizards and whatever
creature they could find and research them so much they could
embarrass most adults with the amount of info they have in their
heads about wildlife. They've built ponds after researching how to
do it, even building their own bio filter.
They used to play legos or k'nex for hours upon end, but even my
youngest doesn't do that much anymore. They've built a dog/cat
house, mouse houses, invented mouse traps and dog treat dispensers.
I'm not looking for a specific solution on how to fix anything.
Maybe I just was wondering, just wishing I could peek in on the
lives of other unschoolers who have already gotten to this point in
their lives and worked through it.
Instead of someone bashing this inarticulate little post of mine,
could you please just maybe give me something like "a day in the
life of a teenage unschooler"?
Please be gentle with me.
Rose
--- In [email protected], Pam Sorooshian
<pamsoroosh@e...> wrote:
I think you are right, we do need to get more interesting stuff
going on in our family life. We definitely don't need any trips. We
have spent the last two years taking trips to visit and care for my
Mother who had been sick. I guess I am trying to figure out once
again how to concentrate on helping my children find what they need
to make life more intersting. We watch movies, they play online
games, they've done all that stuff and it just seems to be boring.
They're just tired of it. The only thing we haven't done is have a
party. That sounds like a great idea!
I guess it used to be easy when they were younger and they would go
outside for hours looking for bugs, snakes, lizards and whatever
creature they could find and research them so much they could
embarrass most adults with the amount of info they have in their
heads about wildlife. They've built ponds after researching how to
do it, even building their own bio filter.
They used to play legos or k'nex for hours upon end, but even my
youngest doesn't do that much anymore. They've built a dog/cat
house, mouse houses, invented mouse traps and dog treat dispensers.
I'm not looking for a specific solution on how to fix anything.
Maybe I just was wondering, just wishing I could peek in on the
lives of other unschoolers who have already gotten to this point in
their lives and worked through it.
Instead of someone bashing this inarticulate little post of mine,
could you please just maybe give me something like "a day in the
life of a teenage unschooler"?
Please be gentle with me.
Rose
--- In [email protected], Pam Sorooshian
<pamsoroosh@e...> wrote:
> Rose - there are LOTS of us here with teenage (and even older)with
> unschooled kids. I have three - 14, 17, and 20.
>
> Still - I'm having trouble responding to your questions.
>
> Maybe you just need to get more interesting stuff going on in your
> family life? Take a trip? Get a series of great movies? Start a tv
> series from the beginning (We've been watching West Wing starting
> the first season. My 20 yo has been watching The Sopranos,starting
> with the first season -- getting them from Netflix, by the way).Cook a
> big feast? Have a party? Remodel the kids' rooms? If they stilllike
> video games but seem bored with them, too, then get them started10,
> playing online multiplayer games maybe?
>
> What do YOU do that is interesting?
>
> -pam
>
>
> On Jul 20, 2005, at 6:52 AM, Rose wrote:
>
> > I read a lot of posts about babies and children under the age of
> > but there seems to be very little information out there forthose of
> > us who have teenagers.
Rose
Thanks Julie, I think the idea of 4H is great. I thought my boys
would be interested in something like that, but alas, they are not.
They are really against anything organized. I think they've heard
too many adults bashing school (not me, other adults).
Rose
--- In [email protected], "J. Stauffer"
<jnjstau@d...> wrote:
woodworking, ballistics, skeet and trap shooting. And it is quite
inexpensive compared to classes and lessons.
would be interested in something like that, but alas, they are not.
They are really against anything organized. I think they've heard
too many adults bashing school (not me, other adults).
Rose
--- In [email protected], "J. Stauffer"
<jnjstau@d...> wrote:
> My oldest is 14. She is really into 4-H. It isn't just raisinganimals and baking pies. Our county does stuff with computers,
woodworking, ballistics, skeet and trap shooting. And it is quite
inexpensive compared to classes and lessons.
>your county. You might find something that interests your son.
> You might call your extension office and see what is going on in
>10,
> Julie S.
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: Rose
> To: [email protected]
> Sent: Wednesday, July 20, 2005 8:52 AM
> Subject: [unschoolingbasics] Teenagers
>
>
> I read a lot of posts about babies and children under the age of
> but there seems to be very little information out there forthose of
> us who have teenagers.bored
>
> I'm not really sure what kind of info I am looking for, but my
> teenagers tend to only want to play video games yet they get
> with them. My 15 yo seems to feel that something is missing, yethe
> doesn't seem interested in taking any kind of classes or sports,at-
> even for fun. I think he feels that he wants to be learning more
> advanced "stuff", but I'm not sure how to go about finding
> opportunities for him to learn at this age without doing "school-
> home". He is interested in science, cars, and loves hardphysical
> labor (gets that from his Dad, not me). My 13 yo gets bored withthe
> games but still seems content to play with his k'nex and read orI
> just hang out with Mom, so it's mostly my 15 (almost 16) yo that
> need suggestions for.done
>
> We've been unschooling for 4 years now and before that we had
> some very relaxed homeschooling.activities
>
> I know some unschoolers who seem to be motivated to find
> that they are interested in, but mine don't seem to have thatclasses
> motivation. Also, our funds are very limited to do ongoing
> and such.they
>
> Maybe someone with teens could offer some suggestions as to how
> have helped them find things to do and ways to continuelearning.
>-----------
>
>
>
>
>
>
> -------------------------------------------------------------------
> YAHOO! GROUPS LINKSof Service.
>
> a.. Visit your group "unschoolingbasics" on the web.
>
> b.. To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
> [email protected]
>
> c.. Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms
>-----------
>
> -------------------------------------------------------------------
>
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Pam Sorooshian
On Jul 21, 2005, at 1:00 AM, Rose wrote:
dance, soccer, etc.
My 14 yo hangs out with friends a LOT. She volunteers at the library
once a week.
My 17 you role plays on the Desperate Fans Live Journal community.
More involvement with other people might be really important to jazzing
up their lives. Relationships can be a big focus during the teen years,
for lots of kids.
-pam
> I'm not looking for a specific solution on how to fix anything.Mine sign up for stuff -- voice lessons, theater productions, karate,
> Maybe I just was wondering, just wishing I could peek in on the
> lives of other unschoolers who have already gotten to this point in
> their lives and worked through it.
dance, soccer, etc.
My 14 yo hangs out with friends a LOT. She volunteers at the library
once a week.
My 17 you role plays on the Desperate Fans Live Journal community.
More involvement with other people might be really important to jazzing
up their lives. Relationships can be a big focus during the teen years,
for lots of kids.
-pam
Rod Thomas
>>>Thanks Julie, I think the idea of 4H is great. I thought my boysRose
>would be interested in something like that, but alas, they are not.
>They are really against anything organized. I think they've heard
>too many adults bashing school (not me, other adults).
Rose
My boys are also uninterested in ANYTHING organized. It is very
discouraging to me. Because I suggest so many things and they shoot it
down. So, Im getting bored.
Kathy
J. Stauffer
<<< Because I suggest so many things and they shoot it
down. So, Im getting bored.>>>
So quit worrying about them? What have you always wanted to do? What have you secretly thought "Someday...." about?
Well, consider today to be "someday." Get out, get interested and before you know it your kids will be there with you.
Right now, I am learning gardening, how to make cheese, developing a sourdough bread recipe, making an afghan for our exchange student to take home, having an exchange student <grin>, and just learned how to make lace by hand (tatting).
What do you want to do? The world is an awfully exciting place.
Julie S.
down. So, Im getting bored.>>>
So quit worrying about them? What have you always wanted to do? What have you secretly thought "Someday...." about?
Well, consider today to be "someday." Get out, get interested and before you know it your kids will be there with you.
Right now, I am learning gardening, how to make cheese, developing a sourdough bread recipe, making an afghan for our exchange student to take home, having an exchange student <grin>, and just learned how to make lace by hand (tatting).
What do you want to do? The world is an awfully exciting place.
Julie S.
----- Original Message -----
From: Rod Thomas
To: [email protected]
Sent: Thursday, July 21, 2005 11:19 AM
Subject: RE: [unschoolingbasics] Re: Teenagers
>>>Thanks Julie, I think the idea of 4H is great. I thought my boys
>would be interested in something like that, but alas, they are not.
>They are really against anything organized. I think they've heard
>too many adults bashing school (not me, other adults).
Rose
Rose
My boys are also uninterested in ANYTHING organized. It is very
discouraging to me. Because I suggest so many things and they shoot it
down. So, Im getting bored.
Kathy
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Rose
Hi Pam,
Thanks again for the response. I think you've hit the nail on the
head. We had been active in our lovely unschool group but have not
been able to get together over the summer. Also, there has been a
lack of older teenage boys in the group. Now, Ren is leaving us and
taking away one of those teenage boys! I guess I am going to have to
figure out how to attract more teenage boys, and girls too, of
course.
I really do appreciate hearing what other unschool teenagers do.
Just mentioning what your teens do can help inspire ideas for other
teens and parents of teens. Thanks for sharing.
I realized that Aaron has found one new outlet for social
interaction. Our local Hospice has a teen volunteer program which he
has participated in. Previously he had not really worked with other
teens much doing this, but now he is helping with the teen council
and seems to be enjoying it. Maybe he can get more of his homeschool
friends to join in!
Keep the ideas coming people. I bet there are many other unschoolers
on this list that need ideas for teens, too!
Thanks!
Rose
Thanks again for the response. I think you've hit the nail on the
head. We had been active in our lovely unschool group but have not
been able to get together over the summer. Also, there has been a
lack of older teenage boys in the group. Now, Ren is leaving us and
taking away one of those teenage boys! I guess I am going to have to
figure out how to attract more teenage boys, and girls too, of
course.
I really do appreciate hearing what other unschool teenagers do.
Just mentioning what your teens do can help inspire ideas for other
teens and parents of teens. Thanks for sharing.
I realized that Aaron has found one new outlet for social
interaction. Our local Hospice has a teen volunteer program which he
has participated in. Previously he had not really worked with other
teens much doing this, but now he is helping with the teen council
and seems to be enjoying it. Maybe he can get more of his homeschool
friends to join in!
Keep the ideas coming people. I bet there are many other unschoolers
on this list that need ideas for teens, too!
Thanks!
Rose
Ren Allen
"<<< Because I suggest so many things and they shoot it
down. So, Im getting bored.>>>"
I think Julie's advice is stellar!
If YOU are leading the life of your dreams, if YOU are following your
passions and interests, your children will have the best example of
ALL!!
I think homeschooling parents have a tendency to focus on their
children..what are they learning?, how can I GET them to do
something?, HOW do I get them out the door?.
Let it go.
I bet they're perfectly happy with their lives and if they aren't,
they certainly aren't going to seek out new experiences with a parent
that is trying too hard to get them to try new things.
Trying new things should just be an extension of a house full of
happy, interesting people, pursuing their lives. I get really
excited about new information...some of it excites the kids, some of
it doesn't.
Either way, I'm not invested in the outcome because it's TRUE
excitement...not for the purpose of "getting" anyone to do anything.
Ren
down. So, Im getting bored.>>>"
I think Julie's advice is stellar!
If YOU are leading the life of your dreams, if YOU are following your
passions and interests, your children will have the best example of
ALL!!
I think homeschooling parents have a tendency to focus on their
children..what are they learning?, how can I GET them to do
something?, HOW do I get them out the door?.
Let it go.
I bet they're perfectly happy with their lives and if they aren't,
they certainly aren't going to seek out new experiences with a parent
that is trying too hard to get them to try new things.
Trying new things should just be an extension of a house full of
happy, interesting people, pursuing their lives. I get really
excited about new information...some of it excites the kids, some of
it doesn't.
Either way, I'm not invested in the outcome because it's TRUE
excitement...not for the purpose of "getting" anyone to do anything.
Ren
[email protected]
In a message dated 7/21/2005 3:41:49 P.M. Eastern Standard Time,
flyerrod@... writes:
My boys are also uninterested in ANYTHING organized. It is very
discouraging to me. Because I suggest so many things and they shoot it
down. So, Im getting bored.
The absolute best advice I ever got when first unschooling was to follow my
own passions. It has steamrolled into lives for both for us all that are
busy, exciting and fun!
My kids understand that each day is filled with possibilities because they
have seen my enthusiasm and love for the things I do.
I was a structured rule oriented parent who learned to trust her children
and allow delight to come into our lives. This week I have 6 kids here from
ages 12-16 and today I bought lots of water balloons and some red pool dye. I
really wanted to see what the pool would look like red and it is so cool!!
Three of the kids have been in it much of the day and all of them thanked me
for coloring the pool. Such a simple thing....a few dollars....a lots of fun.
I don't suggest things that often in the summer because it's seldom that all
five will want to do the same thing....I usually say something like..".I'm
headed to Barnes and Noble and the pet store for awhile..anyone want to come?"
Sometimes I'll get one or two for that trip. Next time, it might be my
husband saying.."I really want to watch the shuttle go up on Tuesday...anyone
want to go?" Last week, two of the boys went with him and they plan on trying
again when it goes up next week. I'm a big believer in spontaneity. They
also all have different interests and at some point we'll do something each of
them loves that may lead to other connections for them. Occasionally we'll
all do something together like the beach or dinner out but that is less and
less as they get older.
In the last week, either I or my husband or both of us has taken some of the
kids to the beach, to play miniature golf, to drive go-carts, to the shuttle
launch, to a guitar store, to Jo-Anns, to the library, to Target to buy
Apples to Apples, to a pizza place for dinner, to Barnes and Noble, to see a
movie, to Walmart of get a frisbee, to rent movies......
The kids have played guitars, listened to music, played mulitiple monopoly
games, swam in the pool, gotten henna tattoos from Brenna, used slingshots to
shoot berries off the tree from the top of the house, played Apples to Apples,
played video games, played Scrabble, spent time on the computer, and had
endless conversations both with each other and with us. They also stay up much
later than us and I'm sure have entire lives after we go to bed! :-)
I'm available to take them places but I also find time to read or get on the
computer or do other things I love (or pack which is my latest passion
because I'm moving across the country in 10 days!)
I continue to believe that if a parent is excited and happy about my their
own life, it can only carry over to everyone in the family. It may take
awhile but it's contagious.
Gail
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
flyerrod@... writes:
My boys are also uninterested in ANYTHING organized. It is very
discouraging to me. Because I suggest so many things and they shoot it
down. So, Im getting bored.
The absolute best advice I ever got when first unschooling was to follow my
own passions. It has steamrolled into lives for both for us all that are
busy, exciting and fun!
My kids understand that each day is filled with possibilities because they
have seen my enthusiasm and love for the things I do.
I was a structured rule oriented parent who learned to trust her children
and allow delight to come into our lives. This week I have 6 kids here from
ages 12-16 and today I bought lots of water balloons and some red pool dye. I
really wanted to see what the pool would look like red and it is so cool!!
Three of the kids have been in it much of the day and all of them thanked me
for coloring the pool. Such a simple thing....a few dollars....a lots of fun.
I don't suggest things that often in the summer because it's seldom that all
five will want to do the same thing....I usually say something like..".I'm
headed to Barnes and Noble and the pet store for awhile..anyone want to come?"
Sometimes I'll get one or two for that trip. Next time, it might be my
husband saying.."I really want to watch the shuttle go up on Tuesday...anyone
want to go?" Last week, two of the boys went with him and they plan on trying
again when it goes up next week. I'm a big believer in spontaneity. They
also all have different interests and at some point we'll do something each of
them loves that may lead to other connections for them. Occasionally we'll
all do something together like the beach or dinner out but that is less and
less as they get older.
In the last week, either I or my husband or both of us has taken some of the
kids to the beach, to play miniature golf, to drive go-carts, to the shuttle
launch, to a guitar store, to Jo-Anns, to the library, to Target to buy
Apples to Apples, to a pizza place for dinner, to Barnes and Noble, to see a
movie, to Walmart of get a frisbee, to rent movies......
The kids have played guitars, listened to music, played mulitiple monopoly
games, swam in the pool, gotten henna tattoos from Brenna, used slingshots to
shoot berries off the tree from the top of the house, played Apples to Apples,
played video games, played Scrabble, spent time on the computer, and had
endless conversations both with each other and with us. They also stay up much
later than us and I'm sure have entire lives after we go to bed! :-)
I'm available to take them places but I also find time to read or get on the
computer or do other things I love (or pack which is my latest passion
because I'm moving across the country in 10 days!)
I continue to believe that if a parent is excited and happy about my their
own life, it can only carry over to everyone in the family. It may take
awhile but it's contagious.
Gail
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Jen A
>Gail,
>
> I'm available to take them places but I also find time to read or get
> on the
> computer or do other things I love (or pack which is my latest passion
> because I'm moving across the country in 10 days!)
Your life with your older kids is an inspiration! I can't wait to meet
you all in person--maybe in a couple of weeks we'll see you at one of
the park days.
Welcome in advance to Albuquerque!
Jenny
(Scotty 5, Eliza 2)
[email protected]
In a message dated 7/21/2005 5:07:49 P.M. Eastern Standard Time,
salten@... writes:
can't wait to meet
you all in person--maybe in a couple of weeks we'll see you at one of
the park days.
Welcome in advance to Albuquerque!
Thanks!! My stepkids will be going home to Austin but Broc and I and
Brenna(15) and Logan (12) will be with us in Albuquerque. We're excited! Hope to
meet you soon also.
Gail
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
salten@... writes:
can't wait to meet
you all in person--maybe in a couple of weeks we'll see you at one of
the park days.
Welcome in advance to Albuquerque!
Thanks!! My stepkids will be going home to Austin but Broc and I and
Brenna(15) and Logan (12) will be with us in Albuquerque. We're excited! Hope to
meet you soon also.
Gail
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
When my dad was dying we only spent a few months travelling back and forth to
see him, not two years. It was still very very hard to fit back into our
regular lives. Some of course was the sadness left behind after his death. Some
was that the world had changed forever - how my kids saw me and our
relationships to each other, their relationship to a world where people they loved could
suddenly go from mostly healthy to dying, their sense of what was important and
what wasn't. We had a little bit of struggle in figuring out what they really
wanted to do in this shifted world.
Things that have gone on long enough to become commonplace, like trips to
care for ailing relatives, leave holes when they end, no matter how they end.
Possibly, the teens ennui has more to do with those big life changes than
just with them being teens?
Deborah in IL
see him, not two years. It was still very very hard to fit back into our
regular lives. Some of course was the sadness left behind after his death. Some
was that the world had changed forever - how my kids saw me and our
relationships to each other, their relationship to a world where people they loved could
suddenly go from mostly healthy to dying, their sense of what was important and
what wasn't. We had a little bit of struggle in figuring out what they really
wanted to do in this shifted world.
Things that have gone on long enough to become commonplace, like trips to
care for ailing relatives, leave holes when they end, no matter how they end.
Possibly, the teens ennui has more to do with those big life changes than
just with them being teens?
Deborah in IL
Sunday Cote
Gail wrote:
"The absolute best advice I ever got when first unschooling was to
follow my
own passions."
Hi all,
My name is Sunday and I'm fairly new to the list. Just been listening
in. I have two boys, seven and three. We've been unschooling for less
than a year and are probably just moving out of the de-schooling phase.
I LOVE all the information and ideas that are given. I absolutely plan
to be a completely radical unschooler one day! Don't worry about
hurting my feelings in your response. I'm here to learn!!! (You can
hear the 'good student' in my already.)
My comment is about Gail's quote above. I've heard this again and
again, and what I find is that it's hard for me to translate my passions
into anything my kids would be interested in. I'm not crafty, artful or
musically inclined. I don't necessarily like games. I work out of my
home, and I'm on the computer or on the phone when I work, if I'm not
out at meetings or speaking engagements. I'm a 'big idea' person and a
visionary in the adult world, but not so good with the minutia or
translating those big ideas to my children. I loved school and have
been a perpetual student all my life. I love to read, read, read. The
only things I know how to 'strew' are books. (This can only go so far
with two small energetic boys.)
Although I love unschooling and believe in it wholeheartedly, my
confession is that sometimes I think I'm not cut out to be an
unschooling mom. In my moments of frustration, I think unschooling only
works for crafty, energetic, creative, get on the ground, get messy
kinds of moms. Are there other moms like me who are successfully and
joyful unschooling? Since my boys are young I've got some time to grow
into it all, just let me know there's hope!
I look forward to connecting faces to names at the Live and Learn
Conference in October!
Thanks for your thoughts,
Sunday
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
"The absolute best advice I ever got when first unschooling was to
follow my
own passions."
Hi all,
My name is Sunday and I'm fairly new to the list. Just been listening
in. I have two boys, seven and three. We've been unschooling for less
than a year and are probably just moving out of the de-schooling phase.
I LOVE all the information and ideas that are given. I absolutely plan
to be a completely radical unschooler one day! Don't worry about
hurting my feelings in your response. I'm here to learn!!! (You can
hear the 'good student' in my already.)
My comment is about Gail's quote above. I've heard this again and
again, and what I find is that it's hard for me to translate my passions
into anything my kids would be interested in. I'm not crafty, artful or
musically inclined. I don't necessarily like games. I work out of my
home, and I'm on the computer or on the phone when I work, if I'm not
out at meetings or speaking engagements. I'm a 'big idea' person and a
visionary in the adult world, but not so good with the minutia or
translating those big ideas to my children. I loved school and have
been a perpetual student all my life. I love to read, read, read. The
only things I know how to 'strew' are books. (This can only go so far
with two small energetic boys.)
Although I love unschooling and believe in it wholeheartedly, my
confession is that sometimes I think I'm not cut out to be an
unschooling mom. In my moments of frustration, I think unschooling only
works for crafty, energetic, creative, get on the ground, get messy
kinds of moms. Are there other moms like me who are successfully and
joyful unschooling? Since my boys are young I've got some time to grow
into it all, just let me know there's hope!
I look forward to connecting faces to names at the Live and Learn
Conference in October!
Thanks for your thoughts,
Sunday
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Heather
Gail wrote:
"The absolute best advice I ever got when first unschooling was to follow my
own passions."
Sunday wrote:
My comment is about Gail's quote above. I've heard this again and
again, and what I find is that it's hard for me to translate my passions
into anything my kids would be interested in.
Hi Sunday (waving from Tucson),
To me, the importance in following YOUR own passions doesn't mean that your
kids need to share those same passions. You are modeling the process -
"follow your passion" - to them. Sometimes your children will end up
sharing your passions, sometimes they won't. Like reading - you might hope
your children will share your passion for reading - maybe they will, maybe
they won't. But even if they do, they won't necessarily be interested in
the same reading material.
One of my passions is dancing. This means my dh & I are out many - 4 or 5
nights a week. It takes a lot of work to follow our passion & for me to
arrange playdates, sleepovers, childcare, etc for my kids. My kids don't
share our passion yet. Well, I take that back. My daughter, Sierra, 6,
does love to dance. I suspect that she will want to learn West Coast Swing
when she is older so she can share our specific passion with us. I suspect
that my son, Quentin, 9, won't. Maybe when he is older - who knows? He is
very particular about what kind of music he enjoys listening to. And some
of it includes music that we dance to. Everything is connected :-)
He is passionate about pokemon LOL. He mentioned the other day that he'd
like to go to Japan because that is where Pokemon originated! So we may
have to make some travel plans. He is also passionate about his X-box
games and playing with his best friends.
Heather McLean
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
"The absolute best advice I ever got when first unschooling was to follow my
own passions."
Sunday wrote:
My comment is about Gail's quote above. I've heard this again and
again, and what I find is that it's hard for me to translate my passions
into anything my kids would be interested in.
Hi Sunday (waving from Tucson),
To me, the importance in following YOUR own passions doesn't mean that your
kids need to share those same passions. You are modeling the process -
"follow your passion" - to them. Sometimes your children will end up
sharing your passions, sometimes they won't. Like reading - you might hope
your children will share your passion for reading - maybe they will, maybe
they won't. But even if they do, they won't necessarily be interested in
the same reading material.
One of my passions is dancing. This means my dh & I are out many - 4 or 5
nights a week. It takes a lot of work to follow our passion & for me to
arrange playdates, sleepovers, childcare, etc for my kids. My kids don't
share our passion yet. Well, I take that back. My daughter, Sierra, 6,
does love to dance. I suspect that she will want to learn West Coast Swing
when she is older so she can share our specific passion with us. I suspect
that my son, Quentin, 9, won't. Maybe when he is older - who knows? He is
very particular about what kind of music he enjoys listening to. And some
of it includes music that we dance to. Everything is connected :-)
He is passionate about pokemon LOL. He mentioned the other day that he'd
like to go to Japan because that is where Pokemon originated! So we may
have to make some travel plans. He is also passionate about his X-box
games and playing with his best friends.
Heather McLean
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
J. Stauffer
<<< and what I find is that it's hard for me to translate my passions
into anything my kids would be interested in.>>>>
Hi Sunday,
You don't need to translate your interests. Your interests are just that....yours. Do what you love, enjoy your life, be an example of a life long learner.
Right now, I am playing with sourdough cultures. My kids aren't interested in baking much less eating sourdough. But they end up hanging on the periphery, if not jumping in the middle of what I'm doing.....
Yesterday, Danny was sitting on the counter talking to me while I cleaned the kitchen. I pointed out to him that the sourdough culture sitting next to him will occassionally "breathe". He thought that was amazing, went to get his sisters, they all crowded around and we got to have a great discussion about live vs. dead food, nutrition, microbiology, etc..
I didn't try to get Danny interested in sourdough per se....I just pointed out a kind of cool thing that I thought would appeal to a 6yo boy.
Same thing could be done with anything...with computers. If you think your son would think it was cool to see how the computer cuts and pastes...and he is hanging with you...show him. If he likes it, cool. If not, that is cool too.
Julie S.
Julie S.
into anything my kids would be interested in.>>>>
Hi Sunday,
You don't need to translate your interests. Your interests are just that....yours. Do what you love, enjoy your life, be an example of a life long learner.
Right now, I am playing with sourdough cultures. My kids aren't interested in baking much less eating sourdough. But they end up hanging on the periphery, if not jumping in the middle of what I'm doing.....
Yesterday, Danny was sitting on the counter talking to me while I cleaned the kitchen. I pointed out to him that the sourdough culture sitting next to him will occassionally "breathe". He thought that was amazing, went to get his sisters, they all crowded around and we got to have a great discussion about live vs. dead food, nutrition, microbiology, etc..
I didn't try to get Danny interested in sourdough per se....I just pointed out a kind of cool thing that I thought would appeal to a 6yo boy.
Same thing could be done with anything...with computers. If you think your son would think it was cool to see how the computer cuts and pastes...and he is hanging with you...show him. If he likes it, cool. If not, that is cool too.
Julie S.
Julie S.
----- Original Message -----
From: Sunday Cote
To: [email protected]
Sent: Friday, July 22, 2005 10:43 PM
Subject: RE: [unschoolingbasics] Personal Passions - was Re: Teenagers
Gail wrote:
"The absolute best advice I ever got when first unschooling was to
follow my
own passions."
Hi all,
My name is Sunday and I'm fairly new to the list. Just been listening
in. I have two boys, seven and three. We've been unschooling for less
than a year and are probably just moving out of the de-schooling phase.
I LOVE all the information and ideas that are given. I absolutely plan
to be a completely radical unschooler one day! Don't worry about
hurting my feelings in your response. I'm here to learn!!! (You can
hear the 'good student' in my already.)
My comment is about Gail's quote above. I've heard this again and
again, and what I find is that it's hard for me to translate my passions
into anything my kids would be interested in. I'm not crafty, artful or
musically inclined. I don't necessarily like games. I work out of my
home, and I'm on the computer or on the phone when I work, if I'm not
out at meetings or speaking engagements. I'm a 'big idea' person and a
visionary in the adult world, but not so good with the minutia or
translating those big ideas to my children. I loved school and have
been a perpetual student all my life. I love to read, read, read. The
only things I know how to 'strew' are books. (This can only go so far
with two small energetic boys.)
Although I love unschooling and believe in it wholeheartedly, my
confession is that sometimes I think I'm not cut out to be an
unschooling mom. In my moments of frustration, I think unschooling only
works for crafty, energetic, creative, get on the ground, get messy
kinds of moms. Are there other moms like me who are successfully and
joyful unschooling? Since my boys are young I've got some time to grow
into it all, just let me know there's hope!
I look forward to connecting faces to names at the Live and Learn
Conference in October!
Thanks for your thoughts,
Sunday
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
J. Stauffer
<<<He mentioned the other day that he'd
like to go to Japan because that is where Pokemon originated!>>>
LOL, my 12yo son also loves Pokemon. He is also big into 4-H which has a student exchange program with Japan. Tomorrow, we pick up a 12yo Japanese boy who will be staying with us for a month and ....you guessed it, he loves Pokemon too. My Zach can't wait.
Because the boy is coming, we decided to redecorate Zach's room.....it really needed it. My 14yo and I ripped out walls and ceilings. We all did lots and lots of painting, lots of shopping and price comparisons, Dh learned how to install parquet flooring <grin>.
Because we will actually be having several house guests during the exchange time, we are maneuvering sleeping arrangements, etc., and kids are negotiating, making offers, thinking of others......
It really is all connected.
Julie S.
like to go to Japan because that is where Pokemon originated!>>>
LOL, my 12yo son also loves Pokemon. He is also big into 4-H which has a student exchange program with Japan. Tomorrow, we pick up a 12yo Japanese boy who will be staying with us for a month and ....you guessed it, he loves Pokemon too. My Zach can't wait.
Because the boy is coming, we decided to redecorate Zach's room.....it really needed it. My 14yo and I ripped out walls and ceilings. We all did lots and lots of painting, lots of shopping and price comparisons, Dh learned how to install parquet flooring <grin>.
Because we will actually be having several house guests during the exchange time, we are maneuvering sleeping arrangements, etc., and kids are negotiating, making offers, thinking of others......
It really is all connected.
Julie S.
----- Original Message -----
From: Heather
To: [email protected]
Sent: Saturday, July 23, 2005 1:21 AM
Subject: RE: [unschoolingbasics] Personal Passions - was Re: Teenagers
Gail wrote:
"The absolute best advice I ever got when first unschooling was to follow my
own passions."
Sunday wrote:
My comment is about Gail's quote above. I've heard this again and
again, and what I find is that it's hard for me to translate my passions
into anything my kids would be interested in.
Hi Sunday (waving from Tucson),
To me, the importance in following YOUR own passions doesn't mean that your
kids need to share those same passions. You are modeling the process -
"follow your passion" - to them. Sometimes your children will end up
sharing your passions, sometimes they won't. Like reading - you might hope
your children will share your passion for reading - maybe they will, maybe
they won't. But even if they do, they won't necessarily be interested in
the same reading material.
One of my passions is dancing. This means my dh & I are out many - 4 or 5
nights a week. It takes a lot of work to follow our passion & for me to
arrange playdates, sleepovers, childcare, etc for my kids. My kids don't
share our passion yet. Well, I take that back. My daughter, Sierra, 6,
does love to dance. I suspect that she will want to learn West Coast Swing
when she is older so she can share our specific passion with us. I suspect
that my son, Quentin, 9, won't. Maybe when he is older - who knows? He is
very particular about what kind of music he enjoys listening to. And some
of it includes music that we dance to. Everything is connected :-)
He is passionate about pokemon LOL. He mentioned the other day that he'd
like to go to Japan because that is where Pokemon originated! So we may
have to make some travel plans. He is also passionate about his X-box
games and playing with his best friends.
Heather McLean
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
SPONSORED LINKS Unschooling Home schooling curriculum Home schooling high school
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
coolcrew
Hi Sunday
I've heard this again and
again, and what I find is that it's hard for me to translate my passions
into anything my kids would be interested in.>
My kids are not remotely interested in anything I am interested in. I am a herbalist and if I get my stuff out the kids roll their eyes to the ceiling but they love planting herbs and growing them and drying them and that has led on to one of my dd being interested in homeopathy and the other aromatherapy. It just happened cos of me and my herbs. My other dd likes painting them. My sons are computer orientated. Whereas my only interested in the computer is for e mailing and surfing e bay lol but they saw me on it and use it themselves for what interests them. My children see me as a life long learner. I have them to thank for that. They inspire me tbh. I am 44 and still try out new stuff and do new things. They see that learning does not stop at 16. Nor does it have to be confined to courses or books.
Ruth
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
I've heard this again and
again, and what I find is that it's hard for me to translate my passions
into anything my kids would be interested in.>
My kids are not remotely interested in anything I am interested in. I am a herbalist and if I get my stuff out the kids roll their eyes to the ceiling but they love planting herbs and growing them and drying them and that has led on to one of my dd being interested in homeopathy and the other aromatherapy. It just happened cos of me and my herbs. My other dd likes painting them. My sons are computer orientated. Whereas my only interested in the computer is for e mailing and surfing e bay lol but they saw me on it and use it themselves for what interests them. My children see me as a life long learner. I have them to thank for that. They inspire me tbh. I am 44 and still try out new stuff and do new things. They see that learning does not stop at 16. Nor does it have to be confined to courses or books.
Ruth
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
jlh44music
>>> My children see me as a life long learner. I have them to thankfor that. They inspire me tbh. I am 44 and still try out new stuff
and do new things. They see that learning does not stop at 16. Nor
does it have to be confined to courses or books.>>>>>
My dd just finished 6th grade and we're (both!) deschooling big
time. Right now she's into World of Warcraft, a computer game with
online interaction. She also likes video games, gameboy for when
we're on our way somewhere or waiting. I'm getting ready to submit
my first LOI this week, so I'm finalizing that.
What I wanted to comment on is the life long learner aspect. Ruth,
I'm glad you wrote that, as that's how I see myself, I've always
liked learning new things, whether they be indepth or just passing
interests. I'm hoping this is what I pass on to her most of all. I
love to read, my dd doesn't. She hates math, has a very negative
mindset towards it because of school. So, while she's deschooling,
and I'm not working for the first time ever in my life, I'm reading
and doing things I enjoy, hoping that when she's ready, she'll move
on to some of her other interests. Also not knowing how our town
will respond to our LOI, will determine how much "schooly" stuff we
may have to do (I'm going to submit a narrative at the end of the
year, hoping they won't try to push for a standardized test, very few
in my town homeschool, no unschoolers, one family with 2 kids in elem
school submit a portfolio). So, my biggest concern, this first
year, is what we will actually have to provide. Once I send my
letter and (hopefully) hear back positively I'll relax more and move
on.
It's hard to stand back and unschool. I know it's what's best for
our family and I have to constantly work on my attitude about it and
relax more!
Jann
[email protected]
----Original Message-----
From: Rose <rosejansen@...>
I'm not looking for a specific solution on how to fix anything.
Maybe I just was wondering, just wishing I could peek in on the
lives of other unschoolers who have already gotten to this point in
their lives and worked through it.
could you please just maybe give me something like "a day in the
life of a teenage unschooler"?
-=-=-=-=-
Cameron's 17. Right now he's at Not Back to School Camp in West
Virginia. I understand he's having a blast. I can't give you an example
of a specific day, but I can give you an idea of some of the things he
does.
The last three weeks, he has been housesitting, so he hasn't even been
at home except to visit. He started this business when a friend of ours
needed someone to look after her dogs one weekend. It's turned into an
almost full-time gig. He stays at the house---doesn't just feed the
dogs, but cares for the house too. He walks the dogs, brushes them,
makes sure they get meds, waters plants, takes care of mail and papers,
waters lawns---whatever. He's in high demand!
He works for two caterers parttime---it's sporadic. Some weeks he works
5-6 days per week. Others, he hardly works at all. He delivers a local
newspaper on Wednesdays. They've told me he's their best employee.
He's started a band---took it upon himself to search out members. He
set up the practice schedule (Tuesday & Friday nights, sometimes on
Sundays). They meet in our garage. He contacted a guy a couple of weeks
ago to record them. That happened the night before he left for camp. He
has a CD! <g> They're writing their own music and are now looking to
set up a playing gig in town. Cameron plays the drums. He's out in the
garage 2-4 hours per day---sometimes more. The house-sitting puts a
dent in drumming some days! :-(
He volunteers one night a week (Mondays) at the local independent film
theatre. He gets to watch the week's movie for free and has met some
really neat people. He worked with a few of them on a movie short last
fall as a camera operator.
He swore he's never read again after he left school, but he subcribes
to two drumming magazines, Modern Drummer and Relix. Reads them cover
to cover. He's also into Phish and The Grateful Dead and Jimi
Hendrix---reads all about them and the 60's and 70's.
He's a hippie! <g> He shops at thrift stores and makes some of his own
clothes.
He has a girlfriend (dating for over two years now). He spends time
with her almost every day.
He pays his own car insurance and gas and maintenance (the car was a
gift from us).
He draws. Not as much as he used to, but he still dabbles. I bet that
will pick up after we finish the room above the garage. We're putting a
bathroom and AC up there and dividing it into a music room for the band
and an art studio.
He helps me out around the house. He has certain things he prefers to
do---like empty the dishwasher (and I HATE doing that!) and garbage
collection (my hippie insists that I don't recycle nearly enough, so he
does it for me! <g>). He does some heavy lifting of things I'm getting
too old to do---especially garden work. He takes care of our two cats
and the rabbit. I care for the dogs, the rats, and the bees.
He doesn't watch much tv. He records That 70's Show and the Cosby Show
on TiVo---that's pretty much all he watches regularly. He likes movies,
though, so he'll watch with us.
He's into meditation and occasionally goes to the Buddhist temple.
He loves to travel. This year, he's been to Albuquerque, NM to visit
friends and West VA for camp. We all went to Orlando and DisneyWorld
for a week in February. He's going to England and Scotland with my dad
in September for ten days. He'll be at the conference with us in St
Louis in October. He loves music festivals and went to Bonaroo (TN)
with his dad in June. He'd like to do more festivals this fall;
hopefully he can make LEAF in NC the weekend after the conference.
He's REALLY busy. But this happened after months and months and months
of lying around after we took him out of school at the end of sixth
grade. He did almost nothing for 18 months---just sleeping, eating,
watching tv, IMing on the computer, and talking on the phone. He
deperately needed time to heal.
It's so exciting to watch him do so much and be so happy. He knows he
has a pretty sweet life---especially when he sees the lives of some of
his friends---school and homework and chore lists. He's truly doing
what he loves to do---almost all the time!
Does that give you some idea of what all he's involved in? It's not a
"typical day" but it comes close to how he has to manage his time to do
all he wants to do.
~Kelly
From: Rose <rosejansen@...>
I'm not looking for a specific solution on how to fix anything.
Maybe I just was wondering, just wishing I could peek in on the
lives of other unschoolers who have already gotten to this point in
their lives and worked through it.
could you please just maybe give me something like "a day in the
life of a teenage unschooler"?
-=-=-=-=-
Cameron's 17. Right now he's at Not Back to School Camp in West
Virginia. I understand he's having a blast. I can't give you an example
of a specific day, but I can give you an idea of some of the things he
does.
The last three weeks, he has been housesitting, so he hasn't even been
at home except to visit. He started this business when a friend of ours
needed someone to look after her dogs one weekend. It's turned into an
almost full-time gig. He stays at the house---doesn't just feed the
dogs, but cares for the house too. He walks the dogs, brushes them,
makes sure they get meds, waters plants, takes care of mail and papers,
waters lawns---whatever. He's in high demand!
He works for two caterers parttime---it's sporadic. Some weeks he works
5-6 days per week. Others, he hardly works at all. He delivers a local
newspaper on Wednesdays. They've told me he's their best employee.
He's started a band---took it upon himself to search out members. He
set up the practice schedule (Tuesday & Friday nights, sometimes on
Sundays). They meet in our garage. He contacted a guy a couple of weeks
ago to record them. That happened the night before he left for camp. He
has a CD! <g> They're writing their own music and are now looking to
set up a playing gig in town. Cameron plays the drums. He's out in the
garage 2-4 hours per day---sometimes more. The house-sitting puts a
dent in drumming some days! :-(
He volunteers one night a week (Mondays) at the local independent film
theatre. He gets to watch the week's movie for free and has met some
really neat people. He worked with a few of them on a movie short last
fall as a camera operator.
He swore he's never read again after he left school, but he subcribes
to two drumming magazines, Modern Drummer and Relix. Reads them cover
to cover. He's also into Phish and The Grateful Dead and Jimi
Hendrix---reads all about them and the 60's and 70's.
He's a hippie! <g> He shops at thrift stores and makes some of his own
clothes.
He has a girlfriend (dating for over two years now). He spends time
with her almost every day.
He pays his own car insurance and gas and maintenance (the car was a
gift from us).
He draws. Not as much as he used to, but he still dabbles. I bet that
will pick up after we finish the room above the garage. We're putting a
bathroom and AC up there and dividing it into a music room for the band
and an art studio.
He helps me out around the house. He has certain things he prefers to
do---like empty the dishwasher (and I HATE doing that!) and garbage
collection (my hippie insists that I don't recycle nearly enough, so he
does it for me! <g>). He does some heavy lifting of things I'm getting
too old to do---especially garden work. He takes care of our two cats
and the rabbit. I care for the dogs, the rats, and the bees.
He doesn't watch much tv. He records That 70's Show and the Cosby Show
on TiVo---that's pretty much all he watches regularly. He likes movies,
though, so he'll watch with us.
He's into meditation and occasionally goes to the Buddhist temple.
He loves to travel. This year, he's been to Albuquerque, NM to visit
friends and West VA for camp. We all went to Orlando and DisneyWorld
for a week in February. He's going to England and Scotland with my dad
in September for ten days. He'll be at the conference with us in St
Louis in October. He loves music festivals and went to Bonaroo (TN)
with his dad in June. He'd like to do more festivals this fall;
hopefully he can make LEAF in NC the weekend after the conference.
He's REALLY busy. But this happened after months and months and months
of lying around after we took him out of school at the end of sixth
grade. He did almost nothing for 18 months---just sleeping, eating,
watching tv, IMing on the computer, and talking on the phone. He
deperately needed time to heal.
It's so exciting to watch him do so much and be so happy. He knows he
has a pretty sweet life---especially when he sees the lives of some of
his friends---school and homework and chore lists. He's truly doing
what he loves to do---almost all the time!
Does that give you some idea of what all he's involved in? It's not a
"typical day" but it comes close to how he has to manage his time to do
all he wants to do.
~Kelly
[email protected]
-----Original Message-----
From: Sunday Cote <sundaycote@...>
Gail wrote:
"The absolute best advice I ever got when first unschooling was to
follow my
own passions."
My name is Sunday and I'm fairly new to the list. Just been listening
in. I have two boys, seven and three. We've been unschooling for less
than a year and are probably just moving out of the de-schooling phase.
I LOVE all the information and ideas that are given. I absolutely plan
to be a completely radical unschooler one day! Don't worry about
hurting my feelings in your response. I'm here to learn!!! (You can
hear the 'good student' in my already.)
-=-==-
Very cool! Open and eager! <bwg>
-=-=-=-
My comment is about Gail's quote above. I've heard this again and
again, and what I find is that it's hard for me to translate my passions
into anything my kids would be interested in. I'm not crafty, artful or
musically inclined. I don't necessarily like games. I work out of my
home, and I'm on the computer or on the phone when I work, if I'm not
out at meetings or speaking engagements. I'm a 'big idea' person and a
visionary in the adult world, but not so good with the minutia or
translating those big ideas to my children. I loved school and have
been a perpetual student all my life. I love to read, read, read. The
only things I know how to 'strew' are books. (This can only go so far
with two small energetic boys.)
Although I love unschooling and believe in it wholeheartedly, my
confession is that sometimes I think I'm not cut out to be an
unschooling mom. In my moments of frustration, I think unschooling only
works for crafty, energetic, creative, get on the ground, get messy
kinds of moms. Are there other moms like me who are successfully and
joyful unschooling? Since my boys are young I've got some time to grow
into it all, just let me know there's hope!
-=-=-=-=-=-
Ooooh---I'm one of those "crafty, energetic, creative, get on the
ground, get messy" kind of moms! <g>
But it depends on what kind of kids you have too---or what you can
think of to help them get what they need.
Genetically, your kids could be a lot like you: you might luck out
there! <g> If not, you might need to find them outlets that would spur
their interests. Like a Lego team or robotics group or 4-H or
---whatever their interests are. You may do more driving than some of
us.
The "big idea" part of you could be involved in making things happen.
Like a conference! <g>
It's really important for them to see you passionate about things. If
you like reading and discussing philosophical points---let them see you
do that. Join Toastmasters. A debate team. Write your own book. Join a
poetry club. Host a mystery dinner. Do what you love.
It doens't matter that it's not something *they* would be interested
in. They may or may not join you. But they *will* see that it's
important to follow a dream or or pursue a passion.
LET them see that. They'll either join you or realize that there's
something else calling them!
-=-=-=-=-=-
I look forward to connecting faces to names at the Live and Learn
Conference in October!
-=-=-=-=-
Me too, Sunday!
~Kelly
Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
October 6-9, 2005
http://liveandlearnconference.org
From: Sunday Cote <sundaycote@...>
Gail wrote:
"The absolute best advice I ever got when first unschooling was to
follow my
own passions."
My name is Sunday and I'm fairly new to the list. Just been listening
in. I have two boys, seven and three. We've been unschooling for less
than a year and are probably just moving out of the de-schooling phase.
I LOVE all the information and ideas that are given. I absolutely plan
to be a completely radical unschooler one day! Don't worry about
hurting my feelings in your response. I'm here to learn!!! (You can
hear the 'good student' in my already.)
-=-==-
Very cool! Open and eager! <bwg>
-=-=-=-
My comment is about Gail's quote above. I've heard this again and
again, and what I find is that it's hard for me to translate my passions
into anything my kids would be interested in. I'm not crafty, artful or
musically inclined. I don't necessarily like games. I work out of my
home, and I'm on the computer or on the phone when I work, if I'm not
out at meetings or speaking engagements. I'm a 'big idea' person and a
visionary in the adult world, but not so good with the minutia or
translating those big ideas to my children. I loved school and have
been a perpetual student all my life. I love to read, read, read. The
only things I know how to 'strew' are books. (This can only go so far
with two small energetic boys.)
Although I love unschooling and believe in it wholeheartedly, my
confession is that sometimes I think I'm not cut out to be an
unschooling mom. In my moments of frustration, I think unschooling only
works for crafty, energetic, creative, get on the ground, get messy
kinds of moms. Are there other moms like me who are successfully and
joyful unschooling? Since my boys are young I've got some time to grow
into it all, just let me know there's hope!
-=-=-=-=-=-
Ooooh---I'm one of those "crafty, energetic, creative, get on the
ground, get messy" kind of moms! <g>
But it depends on what kind of kids you have too---or what you can
think of to help them get what they need.
Genetically, your kids could be a lot like you: you might luck out
there! <g> If not, you might need to find them outlets that would spur
their interests. Like a Lego team or robotics group or 4-H or
---whatever their interests are. You may do more driving than some of
us.
The "big idea" part of you could be involved in making things happen.
Like a conference! <g>
It's really important for them to see you passionate about things. If
you like reading and discussing philosophical points---let them see you
do that. Join Toastmasters. A debate team. Write your own book. Join a
poetry club. Host a mystery dinner. Do what you love.
It doens't matter that it's not something *they* would be interested
in. They may or may not join you. But they *will* see that it's
important to follow a dream or or pursue a passion.
LET them see that. They'll either join you or realize that there's
something else calling them!
-=-=-=-=-=-
I look forward to connecting faces to names at the Live and Learn
Conference in October!
-=-=-=-=-
Me too, Sunday!
~Kelly
Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
October 6-9, 2005
http://liveandlearnconference.org
jlh44music
> He's REALLY busy. But this happened after months and months andmonths of lying around after we took him out of school at the end of
sixth grade. He did almost nothing for 18 months---just sleeping,
eating, watching tv, IMing on the computer, and talking on the phone.
He deperately needed time to heal.>>>>
This is encouraging, my dd just finished 6th grade and is pretty much
on the computer for the greater part of the day (she just got World of
Warcraft, a game with online interaction, so she's totally exploring
it. Before that she was big time into Runescape, another online
interactive game. Her typing skills have improved, however her
spelling is the shortcut style because they use short, quick posts).
She loves to sleep in and get up when she's done sleeping. We've
talked about getting together at the traditional start of school in Sep
to talk about how we're going to proceed, (she thought Sep wouldbe a
good time to do this because she's ALWAYS been in school and, even
though she's so happy to be home, she occassionally feels a little
strange about how it's going to be). We're going to discuss things
that need to be done around the house etc (I'm home full time for the
first time EVER!) but I want her to have a say in what we do. For kids
to learn to be respectful and responsible they need to be respected
themselves, for their opionions, input, thoughts, likes and dislikes.
This is personally important to me because my mother and I didn't have
a very close relationship and I always felt she was angry at me
for "something" (she passed away almost 11 yrs ago to cancer).
What a wonderful post Kelly. Your son has such a full life! Thank
you for sharing.
Jann
[email protected]
-----Original Message-----
From: jlh44music <jlh44music@...>
This is encouraging, my dd just finished 6th grade and is pretty much
on the computer for the greater part of the day (she just got World of
Warcraft, a game with online interaction, so she's totally exploring
it. Before that she was big time into Runescape, another online
interactive game. Her typing skills have improved, however her
spelling is the shortcut style because they use short, quick posts).
She loves to sleep in and get up when she's done sleeping.
-=-=-=-=
She'll need plenty of sleep and even more time and patience on your
part. School can suck a huge part of them O-U-T. They need time to
heal! Sleep and play and good food will do wonders.
-=-=-=-
We've talked about getting together at the traditional start of school
in Sep
to talk about how we're going to proceed, (she thought Sep wouldbe a
good time to do this because she's ALWAYS been in school and, even
though she's so happy to be home, she occassionally feels a little
strange about how it's going to be).
-=-=-=-
Oooohhhh! Dooon't!
Do it tomorrow! Or wait until November! Don't let school still rule
your lives! Do things AGAINST their clock, not with it!
Look at what you've done already this summer--trips, computer time
(that's really important in school), movies, cooking---whatever---and
have your "school year" start retroactively in June---just after she
left school! Start writing down what she's already done. Take your
daytimer or calendar and star what was learning. You may find that you
have hours and hours or days and days of school already documentable!
Cameron had a hard time that first year because all his friends were
still in school and would IM him about how he would be stupid and
unprepared for the "real world"-----be careful that she doesn't get
caught up in that!!!
-=-=-=-=-
We're going to discuss things
that need to be done around the house etc (I'm home full time for the
first time EVER!) but I want her to have a say in what we do. For kids
to learn to be respectful and responsible they need to be respected
themselves, for their opionions, input, thoughts, likes and dislikes.
-=-=-=-=-
Sure, but remember the healing that needs to happen! If she were to
have been in a bad car accident, you would allow her time to heal
before you started to assign jobs and make requirements. Think of her
time in school the same way. Do for her a llittle more. Be with her a
little more. Make her life happy and joyful and sweet. She will be able
to be a more willing participant when she is whole.
-=-=-=-=-
What a wonderful post Kelly. Your son has such a full life! Thank
you for sharing.
-=-=-=-=
Thanks! He is SOOO cool! <g>
~Kelly
From: jlh44music <jlh44music@...>
This is encouraging, my dd just finished 6th grade and is pretty much
on the computer for the greater part of the day (she just got World of
Warcraft, a game with online interaction, so she's totally exploring
it. Before that she was big time into Runescape, another online
interactive game. Her typing skills have improved, however her
spelling is the shortcut style because they use short, quick posts).
She loves to sleep in and get up when she's done sleeping.
-=-=-=-=
She'll need plenty of sleep and even more time and patience on your
part. School can suck a huge part of them O-U-T. They need time to
heal! Sleep and play and good food will do wonders.
-=-=-=-
We've talked about getting together at the traditional start of school
in Sep
to talk about how we're going to proceed, (she thought Sep wouldbe a
good time to do this because she's ALWAYS been in school and, even
though she's so happy to be home, she occassionally feels a little
strange about how it's going to be).
-=-=-=-
Oooohhhh! Dooon't!
Do it tomorrow! Or wait until November! Don't let school still rule
your lives! Do things AGAINST their clock, not with it!
Look at what you've done already this summer--trips, computer time
(that's really important in school), movies, cooking---whatever---and
have your "school year" start retroactively in June---just after she
left school! Start writing down what she's already done. Take your
daytimer or calendar and star what was learning. You may find that you
have hours and hours or days and days of school already documentable!
Cameron had a hard time that first year because all his friends were
still in school and would IM him about how he would be stupid and
unprepared for the "real world"-----be careful that she doesn't get
caught up in that!!!
-=-=-=-=-
We're going to discuss things
that need to be done around the house etc (I'm home full time for the
first time EVER!) but I want her to have a say in what we do. For kids
to learn to be respectful and responsible they need to be respected
themselves, for their opionions, input, thoughts, likes and dislikes.
-=-=-=-=-
Sure, but remember the healing that needs to happen! If she were to
have been in a bad car accident, you would allow her time to heal
before you started to assign jobs and make requirements. Think of her
time in school the same way. Do for her a llittle more. Be with her a
little more. Make her life happy and joyful and sweet. She will be able
to be a more willing participant when she is whole.
-=-=-=-=-
What a wonderful post Kelly. Your son has such a full life! Thank
you for sharing.
-=-=-=-=
Thanks! He is SOOO cool! <g>
~Kelly
Rod Thomas
Cameron had a hard time that first year because all his friends were
still in school and would IM him about how he would be stupid and
unprepared for the "real world"-----be careful that she doesn't get
caught up in that!!!
-------------
I have this problem too. How DO you keep them from getting caught up in
this?
still in school and would IM him about how he would be stupid and
unprepared for the "real world"-----be careful that she doesn't get
caught up in that!!!
-------------
I have this problem too. How DO you keep them from getting caught up in
this?
jlh44music
> We've talked about getting together at the traditional start ofschool in Sep to talk about how we're going to proceed, (she thought
Sep wouldbe a good time to do this....>>>>
> Oooohhhh! Dooon't!your lives! Do things AGAINST their clock, not with it!>>>
> Do it tomorrow! Or wait until November! Don't let school still rule
Good point. We HAVE been discussing it for a long time, because it
took her longer than me to embrace leaving school. I was honoring
her suggestion to have that discussion then, but I'll just wait and
see and not "schedule" it, how's that?!
> Look at what you've done already this summer--trips, computer time(that's really important in school), movies, cooking---whatever---and
have your "school year" start retroactively in June---just after she
left school! Start writing down what she's already done. Take your
daytimer or calendar and star what was learning. You may find that
you have hours and hours or days and days of school already
documentable!>>>
I've been doing this - in fact, one thing I first wrote down was when
she started writing a book "just for herself", not for a school
assignment, back in January, got quite a few chapters done. Yes, I
agree, it doesn't have to be stuff done "after" the beginning of the
school year.
> Cameron had a hard time that first year because all his friendswere still in school and would IM him about how he would be stupid
and unprepared for the "real world"-----be careful that she doesn't
get caught up in that!!!>>>>>
She's always been a "loner" in school, not a crowd follower, spoke
her mind (politely) when harrassed, and stuck up for the underdog at
times. She had a few friends in school, but none that will bug her,
in fact, they're jealous and wish they could homeschool too (me too,
but not something I can do anything about).
>> Sure, but remember the healing that needs to happen! If she were tohave been in a bad car accident, you would allow her time to heal
before you started to assign jobs and make requirements. Think of her
time in school the same way. Do for her a llittle more. Be with her a
little more. Make her life happy and joyful and sweet. She will be
able to be a more willing participant when she is whole.>>>>>
Absolutely! Again, this is something SHE wants to do, she wants to
be involved in household stuff, but I am mindful of choices and not
assigning jobs or making requirements. My husband, fortunately, is
pretty good about "housework" (he LOVES water, I think he didn't have
enough water play as a child, so he loves any job involving it,
toilets, dishes, etc!). We were both working full time, so we would
work together on weekends to get the worst of it done, because it's
important to us (my house is NOT perfect! I'm talking about vac,
dishes, laundry etc). Now that I'm home, one of the things we've
(dh and I) agreed to is that I would be able to keep up with the day
to day clutter, a little each day. Let me stress that I'm not
making a big deal about having an immaculate house, it's just
something that has always bugged us as a family when we both working
FT and now it's something that, as part of our new unschooling life
style, we want to change. We just built a new house and have lots
of stuff to unpack and organize - we talk about doing what we enjoy,
well, I want to organize (finally!) all my stuff. It's part of what
I want to do (joyfully!).
Since I've come to unschooling and read about a whole different way
of living than a lot of people I know go about their days, I've found
myself doing things for dh and dd (i.e. get them a drink when they
needed one but hadn't done anything about it yet etc) or if I was
near the frig and they asked for one etc. I also find now that dd
will ask me "do you want a drink?" sometimes if she's in the frig
(I'm just using the drink as an example). I don't know if I'm
expressing myself the way I want, but it's nice to see the beginnings
of the choices to do things for each other made freely that I see
written about so much here and other places.
She's always been close to me, is rather cautious. She knows that I
respect her as an individual and she's able to talk to me (the good,
the bad and the ugly we call it!) where I was never able to have an
opinion when I was growing up. I want that to be different for her
than it was for me (and I think I'm heading in the right direction).
Thanks, once again for your input. It helps me sort things out.
Jann
[email protected]
-----Original Message-----
From: jlh44music <jlh44music@...>
Good point. We HAVE been discussing it for a long time, because it
took her longer than me to embrace leaving school. I was honoring
her suggestion to have that discussion then, but I'll just wait and
see and not "schedule" it, how's that?!
Better! <g>
-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Since I've come to unschooling and read about a whole different way
of living than a lot of people I know go about their days, I've found
myself doing things for dh and dd (i.e. get them a drink when they
needed one but hadn't done anything about it yet etc) or if I was
near the frig and they asked for one etc. I also find now that dd
will ask me "do you want a drink?" sometimes if she's in the frig
(I'm just using the drink as an example). I don't know if I'm
expressing myself the way I want, but it's nice to see the beginnings
of the choices to do things for each other made freely that I see
written about so much here and other places.
-=-=-=-=-=-
You're expressing it just fine---and we see that too. Frequent "can I
get you anything from the kitchen?" questions as they walk out of the
den. They've heard it so much from me or Ben that it's almost
automatic! <g>
-=-=-=-=-
Thanks, once again for your input. It helps me sort things out.
Jann
-=-=-
Keep us posted!
~Kelly
From: jlh44music <jlh44music@...>
Good point. We HAVE been discussing it for a long time, because it
took her longer than me to embrace leaving school. I was honoring
her suggestion to have that discussion then, but I'll just wait and
see and not "schedule" it, how's that?!
Better! <g>
-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Since I've come to unschooling and read about a whole different way
of living than a lot of people I know go about their days, I've found
myself doing things for dh and dd (i.e. get them a drink when they
needed one but hadn't done anything about it yet etc) or if I was
near the frig and they asked for one etc. I also find now that dd
will ask me "do you want a drink?" sometimes if she's in the frig
(I'm just using the drink as an example). I don't know if I'm
expressing myself the way I want, but it's nice to see the beginnings
of the choices to do things for each other made freely that I see
written about so much here and other places.
-=-=-=-=-=-
You're expressing it just fine---and we see that too. Frequent "can I
get you anything from the kitchen?" questions as they walk out of the
den. They've heard it so much from me or Ben that it's almost
automatic! <g>
-=-=-=-=-
Thanks, once again for your input. It helps me sort things out.
Jann
-=-=-
Keep us posted!
~Kelly
[email protected]
-----Original Message-----
From: Rod Thomas <flyerrod@...>
Cameron had a hard time that first year because all his friends were
still in school and would IM him about how he would be stupid and
unprepared for the "real world"-----be careful that she doesn't get
caught up in that!!!
-------------
I have this problem too. How DO you keep them from getting caught up in
this?
-=-=-=-=-
Hell if I know! <g>
I struggled with it so much! He'd bought into it after so many years in
school---and a private prep school to boot!
I sat next to him one night while he IMed one girl from school. She
went on and on about how he would never amount to anything without
school---how he's never learn algebra or history or phyisics or a
foriegn language or....
I helped him write back---asking her about certain things and
reassuring him that he'd be just fine.
What helped the most was time. He left school at the end of sixth
grade. His friends were starting algebra and writing and reading TONS.
He did not much of anything: he was proving her point! Then he slowly
climbed out of that. If I had stopped nagging and whining at him a bit
sooner, I feel *sure* he would have climbed out faster---My bad! He
started slowly finding interests and getting out and doing. He was
skateboarding and filming--he was finally active. He got his driver's
license. I supported all of it---financially and emotionally.
It took a while, but he watched as his friends, who were die-hard
school-is-mandatory-at-all-costs. He watched them become more and more
disillusioned with school. Four of his friends were asked to leave the
private school because they would eventually bring the high school
numbers down---they weren't competeive enough. They all went to public
schools and goofed off. They hated their schools, their teachers, their
parents, their lives. Two of them were arrested. One's mom told him she
never wanted to see him again; he lives with his dad now. They're
really good, sweet kids who just rebelled at what they perceived as
injustices.
Luckily (or not?), Cameron avoided all these horrible things that were
happening to his friends. He can look at it more objectively now. I
think that had he remained in school, it would have sucked the very
life out of him. He would have been a solid "B" student. He would have
struggled, but done OK, school-wise. But the rest of him would have
died. He knows this too. Now. Now he's as gung-ho as anyone could be
about unschooling. I think he knows it saved him.
I hope others who pull their kids out don't get caught up in this. It's
just so hard to get through. Meeting other really cool unschoolers
helped---helped him see they weren't as odd as some of the homeschooled
teens he'd met. Time helped the most---and distance from the schools.
~Kelly
Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
October 6-9, 2005
http://liveandlearnconference.org
From: Rod Thomas <flyerrod@...>
Cameron had a hard time that first year because all his friends were
still in school and would IM him about how he would be stupid and
unprepared for the "real world"-----be careful that she doesn't get
caught up in that!!!
-------------
I have this problem too. How DO you keep them from getting caught up in
this?
-=-=-=-=-
Hell if I know! <g>
I struggled with it so much! He'd bought into it after so many years in
school---and a private prep school to boot!
I sat next to him one night while he IMed one girl from school. She
went on and on about how he would never amount to anything without
school---how he's never learn algebra or history or phyisics or a
foriegn language or....
I helped him write back---asking her about certain things and
reassuring him that he'd be just fine.
What helped the most was time. He left school at the end of sixth
grade. His friends were starting algebra and writing and reading TONS.
He did not much of anything: he was proving her point! Then he slowly
climbed out of that. If I had stopped nagging and whining at him a bit
sooner, I feel *sure* he would have climbed out faster---My bad! He
started slowly finding interests and getting out and doing. He was
skateboarding and filming--he was finally active. He got his driver's
license. I supported all of it---financially and emotionally.
It took a while, but he watched as his friends, who were die-hard
school-is-mandatory-at-all-costs. He watched them become more and more
disillusioned with school. Four of his friends were asked to leave the
private school because they would eventually bring the high school
numbers down---they weren't competeive enough. They all went to public
schools and goofed off. They hated their schools, their teachers, their
parents, their lives. Two of them were arrested. One's mom told him she
never wanted to see him again; he lives with his dad now. They're
really good, sweet kids who just rebelled at what they perceived as
injustices.
Luckily (or not?), Cameron avoided all these horrible things that were
happening to his friends. He can look at it more objectively now. I
think that had he remained in school, it would have sucked the very
life out of him. He would have been a solid "B" student. He would have
struggled, but done OK, school-wise. But the rest of him would have
died. He knows this too. Now. Now he's as gung-ho as anyone could be
about unschooling. I think he knows it saved him.
I hope others who pull their kids out don't get caught up in this. It's
just so hard to get through. Meeting other really cool unschoolers
helped---helped him see they weren't as odd as some of the homeschooled
teens he'd met. Time helped the most---and distance from the schools.
~Kelly
Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
October 6-9, 2005
http://liveandlearnconference.org