[email protected]

Deb and Kelly
Thank you for your replies. I still feel it is a lie on some level to
take what they are learning and make it fit state regulations. I know my
sons do too on some level. So does my family. I worked on changing my
mind and for the most part I am satisfied they are learning and I talk
to them to get them to understand what they are learning. I don't mean
to sound defensive or to instigate anything by what I am saying. It is
more another layer of me working though the old thoughts that were put
in my head all these years. My 17 year old has learned a lot this past
year or so from the job he has. I think it is within himself that he
feels stupid and ugly. It has to do with public schooling and how he was
treated there but more about how he clings to this idea at this point,
because he is too afraid to face facts and move on with his life. We
talk about that together, also. My 20 year old just went back to
highschool for her diploma. She is not liking it. She is working through
the idea that "everyone has to have a highschool diploma." She cried
once again because she couldnt walk down the isle with the other people
during this years graduation and didnt go to the prom. All this pain
from believing that this is the only way to "graduate." Her boyfriend
didnt graduate from highschool, either. He is employed just recently. He
wasnt ready before that. Now is the "right time" and he is happy to be
working. My 22 year old graduated from highschool, was so traumatized
going to college that he quit. He is now a branch manager of a bank.
They have classes he can take to keep up to date on bank business. They
still count college as a goal when raises/money is concerned.
I once looked in to getting degrees through a private accredited
alternative school. These degrees would not be accepted by any other
school. I know President Clinton staff members were "busted" at some
point for having degrees from unaccredited colleges. The situation gets
funky when there is money involved.
I guess it just depends on what one does with the degree. As I said, I
am working through thoughts and I dont mean to offend anyone. This is
the only way I can think of to get some feedback on these thoughts.
Thanks. Michele



[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

soggyboysmom

--- In [email protected], michele-nappi@w... wrote:
> Deb and Kelly
> Thank you for your replies. I still feel it is a lie on some level
>to take what they are learning and make it fit state regulations. I
>know my
> sons do too on some level. So does my family. I worked on changing
>my
> mind and for the most part I am satisfied they are learning and I
>talk
> to them to get them to understand what they are learning.
Not to argue or anything, but just for fodder while you're chewing
this over (all comments below are meant that way): if your kids go
out and get a game guide for a video game, and read through it and
use the information to get through a level or two (or 10), isn't
that "reading comprehension" in it's practical, *real* use? Why
would you feel that you are lying in saying they were exercising
reading comprehension? Because they didn't use graded readers for a
set time each day and answer 10 questions?

> My 17 year old has learned a lot this past
> year or so from the job he has. I think it is within himself that
>he
> feels stupid and ugly. It has to do with public schooling and how
>he was
> treated there but more about how he clings to this idea at this
>point,
> because he is too afraid to face facts and move on with his life.
>We
> talk about that together, also.
What 'facts' is he clinging to? What do you see as the next thing he
needs to do to "move on with his life"? What if he simply continues
in his current job for another 5 years?

>My 20 year old just went back to
> highschool for her diploma. She is not liking it. She is working
>through
> the idea that "everyone has to have a highschool diploma." She
>cried
> once again because she couldnt walk down the isle with the other
>people
> during this years graduation and didnt go to the prom. All this
>pain
> from believing that this is the only way to "graduate."
Okay, will print her up a lovely diploma with her name in
calligraphy and make a speech about all the lovely things about her
and send her and boyfriend out for a night on the town, maybe with
another couple they know. I WENT to public high school for 4 yrs and
didn't go to the prom. I WENT to a 4 yr college and attended a grand
total of one formal (what a nightmare! I only went because a
friend's bf wanted a frat bro of his to go so I said OK - BIG
mistake! bleh!). Why does she need to'go back to high school'? She
can take a GED (if that would be ok to her) without doing
any "classes" - or she could take a prep class or just work through
a prep book (available at most bookstores). And, as an 'adult
learner'/'non-traditional' student, she could probably get admitted
to a local community college right now, doing something she is at
least interested in. The key maybe is for her to find something she
likes - does she like flower arranging? star gazing? skateboarding?
graphic design? cooking?

>Her boyfriend didnt graduate from highschool, either.
>He is employed just recently. He wasnt ready before that. Now is
>the "right time" and he is happy to be working.
Great for him! And there are lots of people with MAs, MBAs, and PhDs
who are also having a hard time finding work.

>My 22 year old graduated from highschool, was so traumatized
> going to college that he quit. He is now a branch manager of a
>bank.
> They have classes he can take to keep up to date on bank business.
>They
> still count college as a goal when raises/money is concerned.
Ah - but now, if he has found something he is enjoying (don't know
if he is enjoying it or just liking the paycheck), slowly taking
classes at a local (2 or 4 yr) college while working with an eye
toward an AS/BS in accounting and finance (or something similar) to
start - make sure he checks into getting credits for life
experience - might be something he could do now - and it is possible
the bank would help with tuition and stuff (many businesses will
help with such stuff if you are improving your value to them). At 18
he probably wasn't ready - especially if it was an away from home,
don't know what I want to do, total immersion experience. Now, 4 yrs
later, he may well finally be ready to take it on as an adult
learner - lots of places (2 and 4 yr colleges) have degree programs
designed for adults with jobs.

> I once looked in to getting degrees through a private accredited
> alternative school. These degrees would not be accepted by any
>other school.
Why would you care if another *school* accepted the degree? Wouldn't
you already have what you wanted (the learning, the degree, etc)? In
most cases, you can test into/out of things - DH tested out of
enough credits (entering college as a freshman a decade after high
school) to be a full sophomore after 1 semester. So, you could in
theory earn credit by examination for the things you had previously
studied - it just wouldn't be a 1 for 1 transfer.

>I know President Clinton staff members were "busted" at some
> point for having degrees from unaccredited colleges.
I suppose that is an issue IF they try to pass them off as
accredited (when a job specifically spells out that it is a
requirement) OR if they are Internet diploma-mills ("send us cash,
we'll say you're anything you want us to say").

>The situation gets
> funky when there is money involved.
> I guess it just depends on what one does with the degree.
It's only "funky" if you are trying to pass yourself off as
something you aren't. The guy who was my boss, who is now two levels
up from there, well into upper management, doesn't have a college
degree yet he is a manager of several managers reporting directly to
the pres and vp of this high tech company. But he never said he had
a degree to start with. He did have many year of experience and a
good track record - and once you get past about 25 yrs old, no one
really cares about your high school transcript.

> Thanks. Michele
>
--Deb