Sara Evans

I recently "quit" a relationship I started over 15 years ago. certainly the
unspoken timestamp on it was something like "forever" or "always". For the
last few years I continued in it because it felt like an obligation. One
day I realized that being in the relationship didn't make me a responsible
friend, and that "quitting" it made me an authentic person. I truly believe
being an authentic and happy person makes more sense. I want my children to
believe this too.

My oldest has been in piano for 5 years, and at first we had a teacher that
required tracking her practice minutes and one lesson per week. The nice
thing was that she charged the same price as others but she came to OUR
house. Seemed like a good deal until we realized that we did not enjoy
having to practice so much. I'm sure it would be lovely to have an adult
daughter who plays piano extremely well, but she seemed disenchanted by
"having" to do work at 5 to be this future person she didn't understand. So
we quit. A year later we found a teacher who we could call and set up a
lesson when DD desired one, and didn't require any practice minutes
recorded. She taught from books but if DD wanted to learn a specific piece
instead, they'd focus on that. Last time it was a piece from the video game
Zelda and this time a Muse song. She tailored each to fit DDs skills where
she is now.

Now as another side of the coin, I once desired to learn guitar, and loved
it, but it was taken away as punishment for bad grades. After my grades
went up I never went back to taking lessons and I'm still upset over this.
All that to say, I hope to never make my child's current interests and
activities hinge on some outside force or responsibility such as money or
grades.


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