Tina

I've been doing a little much needed reading here on the list. For
those of you that don't know me, my name is Tina. Adrian, 11 next
month, and I have been unschooling for the past year. Before that
he did school at home and before that public school. It's been an
interesting journey to this point.

Life has gotten complicated for us. He suffered a trauma this past
summer. I believe (know) he is depressed. On top of everything my
dad is dying of male breast cancer. I am his only biological child
and his primary care giver. This takes up a tremendous amount of my
time. I managed to get Mondays "free" from going to my dad's, and
Thursdays I only have to go at night. So, I make it a point to be
as available as possible on those days. The other, more hectic,
days I make myself available as much as possible. With demands of
children in public school, my "fiance'", six other children, two of
them continuing their education beginning this week, things are just
crazy. Oh, and I just found out that I'm going to be a grandma this
year at the ripe old age of 34!

Anyway, given the above information, I tend to get a case of the
guilts and second guessing how well I'm doing what I "do" with my
unschooled son. Are there any of you out there that have words of
wisdom to share? I try to take comfort in knowing that he's totally
into PS2, Adult Swim, Fresh Prince, movies, etc. These are all
solitary things that keep him alone in his room most of the time. I
know it's okay, but I do worry sometimes. Yes, I do join him in his
room to watch movies, check out his hamsters, prepare for his
leopard gecko or just watch him play GTA San Andreas.

These are the things that I wonder:

Is there ever a time when it's not "normal" anymore?

He's going to counseling in regard to his trauma and depression
beginning February 3rd. What should I be concerned about in
relation to unschooling and this situation?

Is there something that I should be doing more of given that I'm so
pre-occupied with caring for my father?

I've not been restricting his viewing or game playing, and I'm okay
with that. BUT, what about the colorful vocabulary he's learned at
such a young age and his rather synical attitude?

What about friends? Is it okay that he doesn't have a single one?
He doesn't really do or participate in anything so there's no
opportunity to meet anyone and form relationships? Does it really
matter? He is, I believe, highly sensitive. It fits his
personality to not like crowds and things like parties. When should
I be concerned? Should I ever?

Anyway, I hope someone out there can make sense of my ramblings.
It's just a VERY tough time right now, and without being around
experienced unschoolers and others living this lifestyle, heck Pat
doesn't even know what I'm doing, it can be a bit daunting at
times. Normally, I try to read a lot, but time is just not
available for that right now.

Thanks for your insight...

Tina

J. Stauffer

<<<<Is there ever a time when it's not "normal" anymore?>>>>

Of course there is but it is a different place for everyone and it is different at different times in our lives.

If your son is depressed, he may well be "self-medicating" and to be honest, I see that as a good thing.

I would put everything you are worried about on the back burner until you get a handle on the depression and then see what is happening.

Julie S.
----- Original Message -----
From: Tina
To: [email protected]
Sent: Tuesday, January 11, 2005 7:01 PM
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] What about friends and attitude?



I've been doing a little much needed reading here on the list. For
those of you that don't know me, my name is Tina. Adrian, 11 next
month, and I have been unschooling for the past year. Before that
he did school at home and before that public school. It's been an
interesting journey to this point.

Life has gotten complicated for us. He suffered a trauma this past
summer. I believe (know) he is depressed. On top of everything my
dad is dying of male breast cancer. I am his only biological child
and his primary care giver. This takes up a tremendous amount of my
time. I managed to get Mondays "free" from going to my dad's, and
Thursdays I only have to go at night. So, I make it a point to be
as available as possible on those days. The other, more hectic,
days I make myself available as much as possible. With demands of
children in public school, my "fiance'", six other children, two of
them continuing their education beginning this week, things are just
crazy. Oh, and I just found out that I'm going to be a grandma this
year at the ripe old age of 34!

Anyway, given the above information, I tend to get a case of the
guilts and second guessing how well I'm doing what I "do" with my
unschooled son. Are there any of you out there that have words of
wisdom to share? I try to take comfort in knowing that he's totally
into PS2, Adult Swim, Fresh Prince, movies, etc. These are all
solitary things that keep him alone in his room most of the time. I
know it's okay, but I do worry sometimes. Yes, I do join him in his
room to watch movies, check out his hamsters, prepare for his
leopard gecko or just watch him play GTA San Andreas.

These are the things that I wonder:

Is there ever a time when it's not "normal" anymore?

He's going to counseling in regard to his trauma and depression
beginning February 3rd. What should I be concerned about in
relation to unschooling and this situation?

Is there something that I should be doing more of given that I'm so
pre-occupied with caring for my father?

I've not been restricting his viewing or game playing, and I'm okay
with that. BUT, what about the colorful vocabulary he's learned at
such a young age and his rather synical attitude?

What about friends? Is it okay that he doesn't have a single one?
He doesn't really do or participate in anything so there's no
opportunity to meet anyone and form relationships? Does it really
matter? He is, I believe, highly sensitive. It fits his
personality to not like crowds and things like parties. When should
I be concerned? Should I ever?

Anyway, I hope someone out there can make sense of my ramblings.
It's just a VERY tough time right now, and without being around
experienced unschoolers and others living this lifestyle, heck Pat
doesn't even know what I'm doing, it can be a bit daunting at
times. Normally, I try to read a lot, but time is just not
available for that right now.

Thanks for your insight...

Tina






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