Results of unschooling
Ren Allen
There's been all this great talk about college and spelling and just
what unschooling "results" are. I want to reiterate what Robyn
mentioned, about the important things in life if your child were to
die.
I hate pulling this card, but a dear unschooler I know lost her
child almost two years ago. January will never be the same for me
again, because I think of the Wilkinsons and dear, sweet Sam every
year at that time. They were SO thankful that they spent every day
pursuing their interests, living free from "shoulds" and "have to's"
and simply enjoying life.
I KNOW that if myself or one of my wonderful children were to leave
their journey here, I would never, ever regret one moment we spent
just BEING. I often judge my life against the standard of death...it
helps me keep perspective clear on what is truly important. There
are so many wonderful books to read, movies to watch, mountains to
climb, sunsets to watch, debates to have and hugs to give. Why would
I waste one precious moment of my child's life assigning something
to them?
Why would I assume that MY knowledge and my opinions on what
constitutes worthy information should be matched by my child?
I won't waste their time and lives trying to tell them what I think
they should learn, I WILL however, spend every day learning with
them, about what is beautiful and worthy, and what is ugly and not
worth repeating. We will learn because we love learning and we love
living life together.
I wrote something a long time ago, in response to the question "what
do you hope your children will have gotten from unschooling by the
time they leave home?" I'm going to post my answer again, because
it's a good reminder for ME and I think it fits in with the current
convo's so well:
This was originally a post at unschooling dotcom email list:
What do you hope your kids will have gotten from unschooling by the
time they're
ready to move on from home?
Ren's reply:
My main goal was that their sense of self would be so strongly
intact that this world could not rob their joy, their uniqueness and
their natural curiosity.
Beyond that.....
That the status quo will not matter so much to them as what is good
and right, that they would have a deep seated knowledge in their
hearts that they are intelligent,
capable human beings and can learn anything they wish. A sense of
wonder so awesome that they will never quit seeing how magical the
world truly is. Posses idealism tempered with realism.
Spirituality which flows naturally and freely from a loving heart
which contains kindness rare. The ability to follow their dreams
and acheive their
goals, whatever those may be.
And how do you plan to help that along?
It humbles me to think about this. I came out of High School
battered emotionally, not knowing who I was or what I realy wanted.
And fifteen years later, here I am spouting off ideals for my
children that I could not have dreamed of at the time.
I will help that along by becoming a better person myself.
By reading ,watching ,searching and regaining that sense of wonder,
which my children have helped me with already.
By delving deep into questions and not pretending I know more than
them.
By being willing to set everything aside, change plans midstream and
go off in a new direction when necessary.
By listening carefully and responding appropriately.
By respecting thses amazing beings I've been entrusted with and the
inner knowledge they already possess.
By dialoguing with them, these matters of the heart and showing love
to the earth and my fellow human beings.
By filling my home with books, movies, music, instruments, nature,
toys, art materials and whatever oddities my children bring home.
By taking them to the places they want to go and ones they never
knew existed. By fixing them new and exciting foods from other
countries and making trips to the grocery store an adventure.
By making every day an adventure with my attitude, every mundane
chore or daily activity sacred by how I approach it.
Healing myself has definitely been the most important step in
assisting these worthy individuals in their unschooling journey. I
have learned much from them.
Thank the heavens they came here to teach me.
Ren 5/02 "
what unschooling "results" are. I want to reiterate what Robyn
mentioned, about the important things in life if your child were to
die.
I hate pulling this card, but a dear unschooler I know lost her
child almost two years ago. January will never be the same for me
again, because I think of the Wilkinsons and dear, sweet Sam every
year at that time. They were SO thankful that they spent every day
pursuing their interests, living free from "shoulds" and "have to's"
and simply enjoying life.
I KNOW that if myself or one of my wonderful children were to leave
their journey here, I would never, ever regret one moment we spent
just BEING. I often judge my life against the standard of death...it
helps me keep perspective clear on what is truly important. There
are so many wonderful books to read, movies to watch, mountains to
climb, sunsets to watch, debates to have and hugs to give. Why would
I waste one precious moment of my child's life assigning something
to them?
Why would I assume that MY knowledge and my opinions on what
constitutes worthy information should be matched by my child?
I won't waste their time and lives trying to tell them what I think
they should learn, I WILL however, spend every day learning with
them, about what is beautiful and worthy, and what is ugly and not
worth repeating. We will learn because we love learning and we love
living life together.
I wrote something a long time ago, in response to the question "what
do you hope your children will have gotten from unschooling by the
time they leave home?" I'm going to post my answer again, because
it's a good reminder for ME and I think it fits in with the current
convo's so well:
This was originally a post at unschooling dotcom email list:
What do you hope your kids will have gotten from unschooling by the
time they're
ready to move on from home?
Ren's reply:
My main goal was that their sense of self would be so strongly
intact that this world could not rob their joy, their uniqueness and
their natural curiosity.
Beyond that.....
That the status quo will not matter so much to them as what is good
and right, that they would have a deep seated knowledge in their
hearts that they are intelligent,
capable human beings and can learn anything they wish. A sense of
wonder so awesome that they will never quit seeing how magical the
world truly is. Posses idealism tempered with realism.
Spirituality which flows naturally and freely from a loving heart
which contains kindness rare. The ability to follow their dreams
and acheive their
goals, whatever those may be.
And how do you plan to help that along?
It humbles me to think about this. I came out of High School
battered emotionally, not knowing who I was or what I realy wanted.
And fifteen years later, here I am spouting off ideals for my
children that I could not have dreamed of at the time.
I will help that along by becoming a better person myself.
By reading ,watching ,searching and regaining that sense of wonder,
which my children have helped me with already.
By delving deep into questions and not pretending I know more than
them.
By being willing to set everything aside, change plans midstream and
go off in a new direction when necessary.
By listening carefully and responding appropriately.
By respecting thses amazing beings I've been entrusted with and the
inner knowledge they already possess.
By dialoguing with them, these matters of the heart and showing love
to the earth and my fellow human beings.
By filling my home with books, movies, music, instruments, nature,
toys, art materials and whatever oddities my children bring home.
By taking them to the places they want to go and ones they never
knew existed. By fixing them new and exciting foods from other
countries and making trips to the grocery store an adventure.
By making every day an adventure with my attitude, every mundane
chore or daily activity sacred by how I approach it.
Healing myself has definitely been the most important step in
assisting these worthy individuals in their unschooling journey. I
have learned much from them.
Thank the heavens they came here to teach me.
Ren 5/02 "
Danielle Conger
I want to reiterate what Robyn
mentioned, about the important things in life if your child were to
die...
=====
Ren, thank you so much for writing that and reposting it--your words
really spoke to my heart!
--Danielle
http://www.danielleconger.com/Homeschool/Welcomehome.html
mentioned, about the important things in life if your child were to
die...
=====
Ren, thank you so much for writing that and reposting it--your words
really spoke to my heart!
--Danielle
http://www.danielleconger.com/Homeschool/Welcomehome.html
>