Sherri-Lee Pressman

Hello ladies,



I have had not a new experience but am more articulate about it this time
rather than just emotional. But even so I am wondering if anyone can share
with me their feelings/thoughts or literature about what the result of
blaming and shaming on people (not just children) is? What does it
accomplish and what do the people who do it hope to accomplish? And if, in
the past someone has had a blaming attitude at times, how would they go
about getting rid of that, even with the knowledge that the person being
blamed feels horrible it can be hard.



Also, how can someone go about developing more patience in their life and
more gentleness in their communications with others?



Just a few small topics for 8 am in the morning, but this unschooling thing
is making me think about all this and where better to come for answer than
to the people causing me to think:-)



Thanks,



Sherri-Lee

Need safe and natural health products?

http://www.aloeessence.com





[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

J. Stauffer

Hi Sherrie,

The blaming, lack of patience, etc., are simply thought patterns that have become habit. When someone finds themselves thinking that way it is often helpful to say outoud "stop", back up and try again.

To develop patience, I always suggest that people take up a hobby that involves some kind of physical skill, like karate or hip-hop dancing. Ask the kids if they want to take the class with you. At least make sure that they see you practicing, succeeding, failing. It reinforces for you how you can have the best of intentions and still not get it right.

Meditation is a wonderful thing as well.

Julie S.----whose been there

----- Original Message -----
From: Sherri-Lee Pressman
To: [email protected]
Sent: Thursday, September 30, 2004 10:48 AM
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] Blaming


Hello ladies,



I have had not a new experience but am more articulate about it this time
rather than just emotional. But even so I am wondering if anyone can share
with me their feelings/thoughts or literature about what the result of
blaming and shaming on people (not just children) is? What does it
accomplish and what do the people who do it hope to accomplish? And if, in
the past someone has had a blaming attitude at times, how would they go
about getting rid of that, even with the knowledge that the person being
blamed feels horrible it can be hard.



Also, how can someone go about developing more patience in their life and
more gentleness in their communications with others?



Just a few small topics for 8 am in the morning, but this unschooling thing
is making me think about all this and where better to come for answer than
to the people causing me to think:-)



Thanks,



Sherri-Lee

Need safe and natural health products?

http://www.aloeessence.com





[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]


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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Rachel and Carson Milgroom

Sherri-Lee-

Try reading 'Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life'

by Marshall B. Rosenberg, Ph.D. I got it at our the library. To read move
about NVC in general see www.cnvc.org

The book is gentle, eye opening, and gives extremely practical advice for
how to modify our communication to help us be more happy and fulfilled
within our relationships.

Rachel

Sherri-Lee Pressman

Hi Rachel,

I have read the book already, I found it to be intriguing in theory but
clumsy and awkward feeling in practice. Perhaps it was just my need to use
it more to get more comfortable with it. I just felt very artificial saying
some of the things the way it was suggested.

Perhaps I will give it another look,

Thanks,

Sherri-Lee
Need safe and natural health products?
http://www.aloeessence.com
-----Original Message-----
From: Rachel and Carson Milgroom [mailto:rachelcarson@...]
Sent: Thursday, September 30, 2004 9:43 AM
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: [unschoolingbasics] Blaming

Sherri-Lee-

Try reading 'Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life'

by Marshall B. Rosenberg, Ph.D. I got it at our the library. To read move
about NVC in general see www.cnvc.org

The book is gentle, eye opening, and gives extremely practical advice for
how to modify our communication to help us be more happy and fulfilled
within our relationships.

Rachel








Yahoo! Groups Links

mamaaj2000

I've read about it in anger management books and have changed my own
attitude quite a bit. I don't have time today to share about my take,
but I googled 'anger management' and 'blame' and here's one article
that is a good intro, with a quote that explains the relationship btn
anger and blame:

'Many psychologists would argue that all anger begins with blame.'

http://www.mental-health-today.com/articles/anger.htm

Okay, a tiny bit about me...for me, it's a problem of expecting that
the world SHOULD treat me better. Well, that would be nice, but
having expectations that don't get met lead to me feeling sad, angry,
etc. I have to work on expecting others to do less and spending my
energy on creating my own happiness. That tends to cut off the
negative feelings before I get to blaming someone (or everyone).

HTH,
aj

--- In [email protected], Sherri-Lee Pressman <sherri-
-lee@s...> wrote:
> Hello ladies,
>
>
>
> I have had not a new experience but am more articulate about it
this time
> rather than just emotional. But even so I am wondering if anyone
can share
> with me their feelings/thoughts or literature about what the result
of
> blaming and shaming on people (not just children) is? What does it
> accomplish and what do the people who do it hope to accomplish? And
if, in
> the past someone has had a blaming attitude at times, how would
they go
> about getting rid of that, even with the knowledge that the person
being
> blamed feels horrible it can be hard.
>
>
>
> Also, how can someone go about developing more patience in their
life and
> more gentleness in their communications with others?
>
>
>
> Just a few small topics for 8 am in the morning, but this
unschooling thing
> is making me think about all this and where better to come for
answer than
> to the people causing me to think:-)
>
>
>
> Thanks,
>
>
>
> Sherri-Lee
>
> Need safe and natural health products?
>
> http://www.aloeessence.com
>
>
>
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]