Adrean Clark

I love Legos. I played with them when I was younger, and kept at it
even as a teen.

So Jael got showered with them as a kid. Mall of America Legoland
combined with my childhood allowance deprivation, 'nuff said. Now
Jael has a bin with drawers for the Legos.

The problem is, he doesn't always put them away. It's fine, I
understand that feeling of ugh even if we've got the Legos
color-coordinated in nice bins. So he leaves them out and it's like
candy for his brothers. He yells and gets hostile with them, even
punching them if they start playing with his Legos.

They were his for a long time until his upstart twin brothers came
along. They used to dump out the whole bin, which is why we got the
new drawered bins so they could find the pieces easily. I can't forbid
the twins from touching those legos because they are of age where they
can play with the little ones and their legos are getting mixed in.
How can I help them feel secure with their toys without feeling at
odds with each other and me?

I do have a principle of asking before playing with someone else's
toy, even in the house. But the twins forget - I do ask for them. It's
still volcanic anyway.

I try to keep the home neat even with three active boys and being on
my own. But I get volcanic myself at times. I'm not as bad as before
but still not good enough. I try to pick up and invite them without
strings attached but things like runaway legos and brotherly fights
send me around the bend. How do I stop and start repairing the
relationship so that they feel welcome to clean up of their own
accord? I don't want to be a martyr but there is a lot of work to be
done on my own.

The last thing that drives me nuts about the Legos - I hated chewing
on them, they didn't taste good. I wanted them to be pristine. In fact
I remember marking them once, on a set that I made and didn't plan to
take apart for a long time. I also didn't even like stickers gumming
them up. So, having my son chew them up drives me nuts. I can't stand
seeing pieces rendered useless and unrecognizable, because I wouldn't
do that to my own legos. Jael has a serious need to chew on stuff. I
try to accomodate that by giving him gum and etc - but the legos?
Please noooooo. It's MY issue I know. Do I need to keep this one to
myself or intervene? The boys' collection IS valuable - one, because I
never had that much myself to create so much, and two, because it
could get hundreds if sold on ebay. I know that they'd love it if they
had more intact pieces when older and more appreciative of it. ASL:
do-do-do? (Translation: What can I do??)

Adrean

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Jeanette Crichton

My son is all about Legos!! We have done different things with them depending on the stages he and his little brother are going through. At one time he played with them on the top bunk bed where they could be left out at all times. Next, I started missing him being around me so we put them in drawers downstairs that he played in. Then we moved them up to the playroom and used a train table with Lego plates attached. He could leave them all over the table and in the 2 GIANT drawers under the table. This way they didn't have to be picked up, but they were still all visible for him. Now he has started needing time alone with Legos so we've moved the table to his bedroom where he can play without his little brother interfering.

There is no way that my son would want his Legos in neat bins! This would be a need of mine, but not his. I do provide plenty of shelves for completed projects. But works in progress always stay out on his table. I try to help him protect his creations while he works on them by playing with my boys. My oldest sits at one side of the table and he gives my youngest a pile of Legos to play with. I stay with them as needed. Sometimes there is no intervention needed and they just play on their own, other times I get them started and then stay close, other times I stay the entire time, and other times I just let my older son play with the Legos while I do something with the little brother.

Another idea that my sister uses- she puts Legos in giant suitcases (she has more than one and she doesn't fill them very full). Then whoever wants to play with the Legos can tote them to a private area. Also, then they can be stored under the beds. I would have them spread out a bed sheet under the suitcase to play on, then just dump the Legos back in the suitcase when they're done. Easy Clean-up!

Jeanette


----- Original Message ----
From: Adrean Clark <adreanaline@...>
To: [email protected]
Sent: Sunday, May 11, 2008 12:24:40 PM
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] Lego stitch driving me nuts


I love Legos. I played with them when I was younger, and kept at it
even as a teen.

So Jael got showered with them as a kid. Mall of America Legoland
combined with my childhood allowance deprivation, 'nuff said. Now
Jael has a bin with drawers for the Legos.

The problem is, he doesn't always put them away. It's fine, I
understand that feeling of ugh even if we've got the Legos
color-coordinated in nice bins. So he leaves them out and it's like
candy for his brothers. He yells and gets hostile with them, even
punching them if they start playing with his Legos.

They were his for a long time until his upstart twin brothers came
along. They used to dump out the whole bin, which is why we got the
new drawered bins so they could find the pieces easily. I can't forbid
the twins from touching those legos because they are of age where they
can play with the little ones and their legos are getting mixed in.
How can I help them feel secure with their toys without feeling at
odds with each other and me?

I do have a principle of asking before playing with someone else's
toy, even in the house. But the twins forget - I do ask for them. It's
still volcanic anyway.

I try to keep the home neat even with three active boys and being on
my own. But I get volcanic myself at times. I'm not as bad as before
but still not good enough. I try to pick up and invite them without
strings attached but things like runaway legos and brotherly fights
send me around the bend. How do I stop and start repairing the
relationship so that they feel welcome to clean up of their own
accord? I don't want to be a martyr but there is a lot of work to be
done on my own.

The last thing that drives me nuts about the Legos - I hated chewing
on them, they didn't taste good. I wanted them to be pristine. In fact
I remember marking them once, on a set that I made and didn't plan to
take apart for a long time. I also didn't even like stickers gumming
them up. So, having my son chew them up drives me nuts. I can't stand
seeing pieces rendered useless and unrecognizable, because I wouldn't
do that to my own legos. Jael has a serious need to chew on stuff. I
try to accomodate that by giving him gum and etc - but the legos?
Please noooooo. It's MY issue I know. Do I need to keep this one to
myself or intervene? The boys' collection IS valuable - one, because I
never had that much myself to create so much, and two, because it
could get hundreds if sold on ebay. I know that they'd love it if they
had more intact pieces when older and more appreciative of it. ASL:
do-do-do? (Translation: What can I do??)

Adrean

--
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

diana jenner

"It's MY issue I know. Do I need to keep this one to myself or intervene? "

BREATHE.
Again :D
It is YOURS, keep it to yourself.
You had your legos and you had your lego experience. These are *his* legos,
*his* to experience.
(sounds just like what you'd say to a mother in law about her children....
hmmm....) *grin*
--
~diana :)
xoxoxoxo
hannahbearski.blogspot.com


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

barefootmamax4

We do have legos and so far it works to have the kids set their
finished creations that they want saved up on the fireplace mantle. We
tried a display shelf in their room,but the 3 yr old always seems to
see them and want them off the room shelf. Once he gets hold of a
creation he takes it apart. Why the mantle is different I can't truly
say. the rest of the legos are in bins that everyone can get to. I keep
a dustpan handy for scooping them back into the bins.

I did find a lego that had somehow been melted. I have no idea how it
happened , and no one seems to recall melting it. My first reaction
was "I can't believe somebody wrecked this!" As I looked at it though
it was such a peculiar thing,it looked so weird and warped that it was
really quite interesting. I set it on display too and now we all marvel
over the wierd melted lego.

-Kelly

barefootmamax4

--- In [email protected], "Adrean Clark"
<adreanaline@...> wrote:

> They were his for a long time until his upstart twin brothers came
> along. They used to dump out the whole bin, which is why we got the
> new drawered bins so they could find the pieces easily. I can't forbid
> the twins from touching those legos because they are of age where they
> can play with the little ones and their legos are getting mixed in.

This makes me think about possessions vs community toys. Who's legos
are they? I'm not sure how other people handle the issue of possesion
and sharing.What about when a kid insists on having the toy where
other small children will take it,but does not want to share it? What
about shared rooms,especially when one child does not respect the
boundaries of another?

-Kelly

swissarmy_wife

i think its funny the Lego conversation is going on. A few days ago,
we just had a major shift in the way we deal with Lego's. Previously,
the Lego's were in my older sons room, spilling out onto the hall
floor and into the other bedrooms and even the stairs. Lot's of
ouchies while walking around upstairs! He never had any
possessiveness over the Lego's, just his room and his creations.

The boys are switching rooms in anticipation of the baby, (my oldest
asked for the smaller room so "baby stuff" didn't go in his room, oh
and IF we painted it red and he could sleep in the closet!) Anyway...
while cleaning the rooms I had bought some giant bins at BigLots for
toys because the stairs are becoming a problem for me. Up and down up
and down! Plus when the baby comes I'd rather sit at the table with
them, then on their floors. Now their toys are organized and in bins
in the dining room. Including a half a ton of Lego's. But guess
what? They are playing together, more often, and I've even gotten in
on the building. They love it. They've been playing Lego's,
Heroscape, and duplo blocks for days now. I also organized a big
game/art shelf and suddenly they are enjoying each other's company
more often on that too.

Also, I found when my kids got their OWN rooms, they started fighting
MORE. This is when possessiveness actually took over. I heard a lot
of "It's my room! Get out!" There were LOTS of hurt feelings. My
point is that having the "community area" of toys downstairs in the
middle of "life" has been a wonderful solution for us.




> This makes me think about possessions vs community toys. Who's legos
> are they? I'm not sure how other people handle the issue of possesion
> and sharing.What about when a kid insists on having the toy where
> other small children will take it,but does not want to share it? What
> about shared rooms,especially when one child does not respect the
> boundaries of another?
>
> -Kelly
>

Lisa

My son is a real lego lover... they are his favorite thing on the
planet! Even though he is just 6 yrs old now he's been collecting
complicated models for quite some time... even when he was very small
he could tell us where each block went according to the diagram but
was unable to manipulate it himself yet physically.

That said he loves to play legos with other kids but has learned
through trial and error that some kids will leave his very cool Star
Wars, Batman etc models intact other than a few crashes or small
modifications while playing others seem to prefer taking them apart
and reducing the whole thing to a pile of bricks.

Because this is not his preferred method of playing he keeps those
sets in bins in his room only taking out one with certain friends.
When other kids are over and want to play legos he brings out one or
more of the big bins of assorted lego bricks and they will play for
hours and hours building and taking apart different things quite
happily. I have always tried to make it up to him whether he shares
or not ... I have never understood that whole concept of making little
kids share... I mean come on can you imagine another adult walking up
to you and demanding you share your cell phone, Ipod etc just because
they felt it was their right for you to share with them?? I do
encourage him to work out a way for his friends to all work things out
and find something they like to play together. We will talk about
what toys are easy to share and what toys are more problematic. We
also talk about what toys he thinks of as very special and doesn't
want to share ... we put those up so he isn't put on the spot (he is a
very giving kid and wants to share things and is often upset later if
something gets lost or broken)
I think that the concept of personal possessions and community toys is
a great way to think about things like this...I haven't really ever
thought of it specifically this way but it makes lots of sense!

We are having lots of "territory" issues these days with the little
guy that is living with us and some of this has naturally evolved
during the process.
Lisa B


>
> This makes me think about possessions vs community toys. Who's legos
> are they? I'm not sure how other people handle the issue of possesion
> and sharing.What about when a kid insists on having the toy where
> other small children will take it,but does not want to share it? What
> about shared rooms,especially when one child does not respect the
> boundaries of another?
>
> -Kelly
>

Meredith

--- In [email protected], "barefootmamax4"
<barefootmamax4@...> wrote:
>What about when a kid insists on having the toy where
> other small children will take it,but does not want to share it?

It would help to have more particulars - like ages, since that can
have a big effect on the dynamics. I'd want to figure out *why* the
one kid wants to do that - what are his needs in that situation?
There may be other ways to help him meet those needs so as to
diffuse the whole thing. For example, maybe an adult could go
somewhere private with the child to watch him play with his toy,
since he seems to want connection.

>What
> about shared rooms,especially when one child does not respect the
> boundaries of another?

Again, it would help to have more details. What does "not respect
boundaries" mean, specifically? My first impulse would be to review
the sleeping and storage arrangements and see if there are other
options - maybe some thinking out of the box would be in order, like
converting the china hutch to toy storage for a few years, or moving
a bed into a large closet so a child has his/her "own" space.

I find it really helpful, when I'm feeling "stuck" in terms of
problem solving to dig down to the needs and see if a solution can
be found on *that* level. A lot of times the kids can be a part of
the problem solving, too, especially if they can see that adults are
working to help them get their needs met - funny thing, when kids
realize that their needs are important, they are more likely to
Offer to give up or compromise on wants and wishes.

---Meredith (Mo 6, Ray 14)