waldorfmama

> When she has an angry blasting meltdown, I let Jayn's anger just bounce off
> me, like a beach ball you aren't catching - it will get less (or impinge on
> you less). I'm talking about "detachment" from her emotions, NOT ignoring
> her or her requests. Just not allowing her frenzy to get me upset, while
> still validating emotions back - "you sound very angry/frustrated". She will
> go on and I will say something very neutral like "What a shame." It helps
> her go through the meltdown, and restore her own balance.
>
> Sometimes I also remind Jayn to take some deep breaths if she is starting to
> get angry. Sometimes her only relief is still to shriek. One good one and
> she is often better.


Robyn, This is such good advice! And it does help! There have been many times I've let
Ella's meltdowns trigger meltdowns in me too! I consider myself "highly sensitive" and the
screaming REALLY pushes my buttons and has often led to me being the one screaming! I
am learning, however, to say and mean "Yes" to
her more (which has helped tremendously with the meltdowns caused by frustration) and
then to just accept her anger and not get
angry myself. I also love what you said about not expecting "respect" from our kids.
Respect is modeled from us - she'll get it someday. And quite frankly I believe she is
trying out certain "disrespectful" behaviors she is picking up from TV's protrayal of kids
and other kids she knows. I need to just let her know that those ways of speaking can
sometimes hurt feelings.

~Jessie