Re: [unschoolingbasics] Digest Number 155
[email protected]
Valerie
I don't think Jon has a passion just yet. He likes to fish. He hangs out
with older boys who have a car, boat, etc. and can go places. He goes
fishing with my husband, too. He seems to have listened well to people
telling him he is not smart and knows nothing. He has a hard time tryng
anything because he predetermines his failure at it, so why bother
trying.
We gently encourage him to try something he may like. We encourage him
to take one small step. I do agree that he is in angst. We talk about
that. He is seeking to fit in to "make it all better." The only trouble
with that is that change comes from the inside. That is the tricky part.
Sometimes it seems like he gets stuck in the blame game. It seems he is
stuck taking it out on me because he trusts me and I am handy. Then he
will apologize afterwards. It still feels bad to me. I want with all my
heart to see him succeed. I will stick by him and keep encouraging him.
Eventually he will find a passion. I didn't find one until my 30's.
Michele
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
I don't think Jon has a passion just yet. He likes to fish. He hangs out
with older boys who have a car, boat, etc. and can go places. He goes
fishing with my husband, too. He seems to have listened well to people
telling him he is not smart and knows nothing. He has a hard time tryng
anything because he predetermines his failure at it, so why bother
trying.
We gently encourage him to try something he may like. We encourage him
to take one small step. I do agree that he is in angst. We talk about
that. He is seeking to fit in to "make it all better." The only trouble
with that is that change comes from the inside. That is the tricky part.
Sometimes it seems like he gets stuck in the blame game. It seems he is
stuck taking it out on me because he trusts me and I am handy. Then he
will apologize afterwards. It still feels bad to me. I want with all my
heart to see him succeed. I will stick by him and keep encouraging him.
Eventually he will find a passion. I didn't find one until my 30's.
Michele
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Crystal
Michelle,
Why don't you think that fishing is a passion? If that is what he
likes to do, couldn't you go fishing with him one day, let him teach
you about what it is he does, maybe take him fishing somewhere he
hasn't been. You could even invite one of his friends to come if he
doesn't trust your motive. Even if you don't see the value in
fishing, and even if he's only doing it as an escape, it may help
your relationship.
Crystal
Why don't you think that fishing is a passion? If that is what he
likes to do, couldn't you go fishing with him one day, let him teach
you about what it is he does, maybe take him fishing somewhere he
hasn't been. You could even invite one of his friends to come if he
doesn't trust your motive. Even if you don't see the value in
fishing, and even if he's only doing it as an escape, it may help
your relationship.
Crystal
Valerie
--- In [email protected], michele-nappi@w... wrote:
places. He goes fishing with my husband, too.
Sounds like fishing is a passion to him. My suggestions would be,
ask him if he would teach you how to fish, take him to fishing
rodeos (we have them here), get online with him and find fishing
books at Amazon or half.com. In other words, let him know that you
take his fishing passion seriously and that you're willing to do
whatever it takes to help him pursue the fishing.
Maybe fishing will become a lifestyle for him, maybe fishing is his
escape, maybe he just loves the quietness of fishing ( LOTS of
thinking goes on when a person is fishing), maybe he'll someday
create a television show around his fishing technique or maybe he'll
immerse himself totally into fishing and it'll lead to something
else. No way to know just yet.
Would you learn how to handle the boat so that the two of you could
go off together and fish? What an incredibly spiritual adventure
that could be. Mom and Jon fishing quietly on the water. Sounds
heavenly to me.
What about hosting a fishing party for Jon and one or two of his
friends? My dad took me and 5 other teenage girls crabbing from his
boat one time. It's one of my fondest childhood memories. And he
really shone with patience. Imagine SIX teen girls in a boat in the
middle of the water!
And there are so many ways to fish, so many different types of fish
to catch. Fishing from the boat, the shore, deepsea fishing, etc. My
dad has a million passions, but fishing is number one with him.
Instead of looking for things that you might feel he SHOULD have a
passion about, go with the one he already has. Fishing is an art and
if more teen boys could sit still long enough to fish, they'd
probably be a lot more content. It's a physical and cerebral
activity.
love, Valerie
www.ubpub.com
> Valeriehangs out with older boys who have a car, boat, etc. and can go
> I don't think Jon has a passion just yet. He likes to fish. He
places. He goes fishing with my husband, too.
Sounds like fishing is a passion to him. My suggestions would be,
ask him if he would teach you how to fish, take him to fishing
rodeos (we have them here), get online with him and find fishing
books at Amazon or half.com. In other words, let him know that you
take his fishing passion seriously and that you're willing to do
whatever it takes to help him pursue the fishing.
Maybe fishing will become a lifestyle for him, maybe fishing is his
escape, maybe he just loves the quietness of fishing ( LOTS of
thinking goes on when a person is fishing), maybe he'll someday
create a television show around his fishing technique or maybe he'll
immerse himself totally into fishing and it'll lead to something
else. No way to know just yet.
Would you learn how to handle the boat so that the two of you could
go off together and fish? What an incredibly spiritual adventure
that could be. Mom and Jon fishing quietly on the water. Sounds
heavenly to me.
What about hosting a fishing party for Jon and one or two of his
friends? My dad took me and 5 other teenage girls crabbing from his
boat one time. It's one of my fondest childhood memories. And he
really shone with patience. Imagine SIX teen girls in a boat in the
middle of the water!
And there are so many ways to fish, so many different types of fish
to catch. Fishing from the boat, the shore, deepsea fishing, etc. My
dad has a million passions, but fishing is number one with him.
Instead of looking for things that you might feel he SHOULD have a
passion about, go with the one he already has. Fishing is an art and
if more teen boys could sit still long enough to fish, they'd
probably be a lot more content. It's a physical and cerebral
activity.
love, Valerie
www.ubpub.com