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I have been unschooling my two sons; age 13 and 16 for two years. Every
time school starts they think of going back and I get upset. One of the
major reasons they want to go back this year is to find "girls." :) We
just opened a holistic shop just across from our local highschool. My 16
says he doesn't feel like he is learning enough. I think differently. We
have some family members who still believe the only learning is the
formal way. My 16 year old - Jon - has dyslexia and was never "properly"
educated in public school. One thing that really upsets him is he feels
he cannot write. He cannot read cursive writing. He writes all the time
and is good at it. He sees it differently. I said, "why not work with me
at the shop, learn a bunch of stuff there, do what you have been doing,
etc. When highschool gets out, meander outside to "hangout" with whom
ever you choose?" He said, "Oh yeah, I could do that." We go through
this every school year... I feel sad about it. I feel like maybe I am
working on denying him something he needs or could help him. He was so
emotionally damaged from his school experience that as soon as he begins
to think of school he trembles and gets anxious. He is on Lexapro. I
want what is best for my kids. I know he thinks that a girlfriend will
solve his problems. He liked one who unfortunately for her, has serious
emotional problems. He said he felt in love with her. Then he said he
knows it isn't her, but that he wants someone to "be with." I know he is
struggling to love himself and I worry he thinks someone else can "fix"
him. This to me, is upsetting. He will be 17 in February. I don't want
him in public school. I don't want to deny him either. I am torn.
Michele



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Valerie

One thing that really upsets him is he feels he cannot write. He
cannot read cursive writing. He writes all the time and is good at
it.

> Michele

***** Laurie is 24 and working on her PhD and has never written in
cursive except to sign her name. She just never saw the need to
learn. She mentioned it a few times, but plain old writing suits her
needs.

love, Valerie
www.ubpub.com

Valerie

I know he is struggling to love himself and I worry he thinks
someone else can "fix" him. This to me, is upsetting. He will be 17
in February. I don't want him in public school. I don't want to deny
him either. I am torn.
> Michele

****** Michele, Laurie went through the same thing, except that she
never considered going to school. She started feeling antsy around
16-17 years old and felt a need for like-minded friends. She was so
into computers, that the solution eventually presented itself when
she started a BBS. Within a few months, the computer geeks in our
area knew who she was and she had more friends with same interests
than we could accomodate at times. She had found her niche.

What is Jon's niche? What is his passion? Could you help him find an
activity where his passion is the main focus and kids his age are
involved?

Teen angst is a rite of passage and he'll get through it easier than
schooled kids because he has your support, encouragement and
concern. Sometimes it'll seem like it's lasting forever, but he will
get through it.

love, Valerie
www.ubpub.com