New to group and question about large families (extremely long)
lolagranola5
Hi -
I am new to the group. Although we have always respected our
children's right to learn in their own time, it took me a bit longer
to completely "see the light" and respect the children's ability to
LIVE without my (and my husbands) telling them exactly HOW to do
it. We were always more "lenient" than most parents. For example,
when they were younger, we would not eat or drink in front of them
and tell them they could not eat or drink the same thing. We also
would assume the child knew his/her comfort level and didn't force
them to wear coats (or any other clothing item an adult would feel
is necessary depending on the weather). In these small, everyday
items, we backed off (much to grandma's chagrin!) and let the
chidren make their own choices. We still don't dictate bedtime,
mealtime (other than a sit-down together dinner), etc.
So...I feel many things are being handled in a positive, respectful
manner. My struggle in this quest is applying a lot of
the "unschooling in life" principles that I admire to a family with
five children. I don't have five different-aged children, I had a
set of quadruplets (they are 8) and a single child 18 months later
(he is 6). So basically, I have a small classroom in my house. I
understand most people here are not in the same position, but
perhaps there are a few on this list who have 3+ children who are
close in age? The problems I run into basically stem from one
source: peer pressure and/or distraction of peers. Five children
all the same age distract each other. They are not abnormally
distracted for their age, they just multiply it times 5.
So, I love the idea of not requiring chores, of leading by example,
etc. But here is a common scenario.
Mom: Hey guys, the house is getting trashed, and we need to go to
chess class (for two of the boys). Could you help me pick up a room
or two before we go?
Kids: We're in the middle of playing Pokemon, just started a book,
etc....can we do it in a little bit?
Mom: Sure. How about in 20 minutes we do it?
(In these 20 minutes, I may start picking up, hoping to teach by
example...)
Mom: OK guys, its been 20 minutes. Could you help me now?
Kids: OK!
Two minutes later, two are arguing over who gets to pick up Lego's
(which I let them deal with - they actually are fairly good at
conflict resolution among themselves, but of course, this takes time
away from cleaning), one found a transformer he is playing with and
two are doing all the work themselves. Of course, these two are not
that happy about the situation because they want to help out, but
others are not so they get angry and stop helping. I defer to the
time, we leave for chess class and nothing really was cleaned. Not
a big deal by itself, I can let the room stay messy, but it is a
metaphor for how EVERYTHING gets done in our house.
Another situation:
One child REALLY wants to take choir. I find her a choir class, but
the parents have to stay on the premises. It's a co-op, so I ask
the other kids if they would like to take a class, too. They all
pick a class, enjoy themselves for a few weeks, then one decides he
doesn't like it anymore. We talk about it and he makes the decision
to stop attending the class. Now one of his brothers, who was in a
different class and liking it, doesn't want to "have" to go either.
Not because he doesn't enjoy the class, but because its not fair
that his brother isn't and he is. OK. Two are not in classes.
This is fine, except these two don't like going to the co-op now
because they don't have anything to do. They will bring things
with, but get bored easily because they have to stay in a certain
area quietly until their siblings are done with class. We don't
make them sit quietly at home, so this is hard for them, even though
they "get" why they could be disruptive to other people who are
trying to enjoy their classes. Now its three who want to be there,
two who don't, and me trying to respect everyone's needs.
This co-op situation is not the end of the world, and we are working
on their ability to quietly entertain themselves. They will find a
comfortable arrangement in time, I know. BUT it is a good example
of how hard it is to balance everyone's needs without "making" some
of the kids do something they don't want to do. I have considered a
sitter, but we don't have a daytime sitter available, and even if I
did, I couldn't afford to pay a sitter every time one child wanted
to take a class and the others did not. One may not want to go to
the library, but four do. They have to learn some give and take,
because that's how large families function. Does anyone have any
advice on this front? How did you balance everyones needs?
Another big concern is keeping the house clean and the chores done.
I used to make them do chores, and although they never really
grumbled about doing them (they were so used to it - they had been
doing chores since they were 3 and they were fun then!), I backed
off from this in an effort to reduce my being an authority figure.
It has been a year now, and here is the problem. The odds of the
kids WANTING to help me clean are really low, because they would
much rather play with the kids who are doing something else. Even
if they do start to help, something exciting happens and the
cleaning never actually gets done. The idea of "I (Mom) am the one
who wants it clean, so I have to clean it if they don't want to
help" is a hard one for me to swallow, because seven people in one
house makes things extremely dirty. Yes, we will live in stench if
the toilets aren't cleaned (four boys <g>), and everything will be
cluttered to the point of distraction if we don't work together to
clean it up. So the idea of leading by example is lost because the
distractibility level in the house is so high, they don't notice
and/or hear Mom's needs. When they do, they help. It's just few
and far between.
The same problem lies in the TV and video games. This is the one
area in which I have not given up control, and here is why: If one
child watches TV or plays a video game, they all watch. Taking
turns takes ALL day if they are unlimited. Literally. One child
does not appreciate video games, and can entertain herself for
awhile, but then can be reduced to tears because her brothers ignore
her ALL DAY. I can find things to do with her to a point, and she
can entertain herself to a point, but she gets depressed because she
really just wants to do stuff with her brothers. Two of the boys,
then, get really crabby and depressed when they "do media" all day.
They don't eat well (they do if they don't play games), don't sleep
well and become really disrespectful to everyone else in the house.
How do other people balance this? I tried letting it run its course
about 6 months ago, and it was one of the worst two months we have
ever had as a family. My husband finally put an end to it and I am
so happy he did, because our lives literally turned around in many
ways once we limited the boys to 1/2 hour a day (so two hours total
of "media time").
So basically, and I am sorry for this being so long and more a
storyline than questions, I would like to hear other people's
solutions to radical unschooling with large families. I admire many
of the ideas and solutions I see on this sight, but it seems they
don't always work in my house. I feel like I have to place some
limits that I don't want to be placing and make the kids do some
things they don't want to be doing. Has anyone else tried methods I
may have not thought about? I see how well unschooling has worked
towards their academics and brain development, but it doesn't seem
to be applying in all regards of life like I want it to.
If anyone needs me to be more specific, please ask.
Kathleen, tired but happy Mom to Dakota, Connor, Sage, Cheyenne and
Arizona
I am new to the group. Although we have always respected our
children's right to learn in their own time, it took me a bit longer
to completely "see the light" and respect the children's ability to
LIVE without my (and my husbands) telling them exactly HOW to do
it. We were always more "lenient" than most parents. For example,
when they were younger, we would not eat or drink in front of them
and tell them they could not eat or drink the same thing. We also
would assume the child knew his/her comfort level and didn't force
them to wear coats (or any other clothing item an adult would feel
is necessary depending on the weather). In these small, everyday
items, we backed off (much to grandma's chagrin!) and let the
chidren make their own choices. We still don't dictate bedtime,
mealtime (other than a sit-down together dinner), etc.
So...I feel many things are being handled in a positive, respectful
manner. My struggle in this quest is applying a lot of
the "unschooling in life" principles that I admire to a family with
five children. I don't have five different-aged children, I had a
set of quadruplets (they are 8) and a single child 18 months later
(he is 6). So basically, I have a small classroom in my house. I
understand most people here are not in the same position, but
perhaps there are a few on this list who have 3+ children who are
close in age? The problems I run into basically stem from one
source: peer pressure and/or distraction of peers. Five children
all the same age distract each other. They are not abnormally
distracted for their age, they just multiply it times 5.
So, I love the idea of not requiring chores, of leading by example,
etc. But here is a common scenario.
Mom: Hey guys, the house is getting trashed, and we need to go to
chess class (for two of the boys). Could you help me pick up a room
or two before we go?
Kids: We're in the middle of playing Pokemon, just started a book,
etc....can we do it in a little bit?
Mom: Sure. How about in 20 minutes we do it?
(In these 20 minutes, I may start picking up, hoping to teach by
example...)
Mom: OK guys, its been 20 minutes. Could you help me now?
Kids: OK!
Two minutes later, two are arguing over who gets to pick up Lego's
(which I let them deal with - they actually are fairly good at
conflict resolution among themselves, but of course, this takes time
away from cleaning), one found a transformer he is playing with and
two are doing all the work themselves. Of course, these two are not
that happy about the situation because they want to help out, but
others are not so they get angry and stop helping. I defer to the
time, we leave for chess class and nothing really was cleaned. Not
a big deal by itself, I can let the room stay messy, but it is a
metaphor for how EVERYTHING gets done in our house.
Another situation:
One child REALLY wants to take choir. I find her a choir class, but
the parents have to stay on the premises. It's a co-op, so I ask
the other kids if they would like to take a class, too. They all
pick a class, enjoy themselves for a few weeks, then one decides he
doesn't like it anymore. We talk about it and he makes the decision
to stop attending the class. Now one of his brothers, who was in a
different class and liking it, doesn't want to "have" to go either.
Not because he doesn't enjoy the class, but because its not fair
that his brother isn't and he is. OK. Two are not in classes.
This is fine, except these two don't like going to the co-op now
because they don't have anything to do. They will bring things
with, but get bored easily because they have to stay in a certain
area quietly until their siblings are done with class. We don't
make them sit quietly at home, so this is hard for them, even though
they "get" why they could be disruptive to other people who are
trying to enjoy their classes. Now its three who want to be there,
two who don't, and me trying to respect everyone's needs.
This co-op situation is not the end of the world, and we are working
on their ability to quietly entertain themselves. They will find a
comfortable arrangement in time, I know. BUT it is a good example
of how hard it is to balance everyone's needs without "making" some
of the kids do something they don't want to do. I have considered a
sitter, but we don't have a daytime sitter available, and even if I
did, I couldn't afford to pay a sitter every time one child wanted
to take a class and the others did not. One may not want to go to
the library, but four do. They have to learn some give and take,
because that's how large families function. Does anyone have any
advice on this front? How did you balance everyones needs?
Another big concern is keeping the house clean and the chores done.
I used to make them do chores, and although they never really
grumbled about doing them (they were so used to it - they had been
doing chores since they were 3 and they were fun then!), I backed
off from this in an effort to reduce my being an authority figure.
It has been a year now, and here is the problem. The odds of the
kids WANTING to help me clean are really low, because they would
much rather play with the kids who are doing something else. Even
if they do start to help, something exciting happens and the
cleaning never actually gets done. The idea of "I (Mom) am the one
who wants it clean, so I have to clean it if they don't want to
help" is a hard one for me to swallow, because seven people in one
house makes things extremely dirty. Yes, we will live in stench if
the toilets aren't cleaned (four boys <g>), and everything will be
cluttered to the point of distraction if we don't work together to
clean it up. So the idea of leading by example is lost because the
distractibility level in the house is so high, they don't notice
and/or hear Mom's needs. When they do, they help. It's just few
and far between.
The same problem lies in the TV and video games. This is the one
area in which I have not given up control, and here is why: If one
child watches TV or plays a video game, they all watch. Taking
turns takes ALL day if they are unlimited. Literally. One child
does not appreciate video games, and can entertain herself for
awhile, but then can be reduced to tears because her brothers ignore
her ALL DAY. I can find things to do with her to a point, and she
can entertain herself to a point, but she gets depressed because she
really just wants to do stuff with her brothers. Two of the boys,
then, get really crabby and depressed when they "do media" all day.
They don't eat well (they do if they don't play games), don't sleep
well and become really disrespectful to everyone else in the house.
How do other people balance this? I tried letting it run its course
about 6 months ago, and it was one of the worst two months we have
ever had as a family. My husband finally put an end to it and I am
so happy he did, because our lives literally turned around in many
ways once we limited the boys to 1/2 hour a day (so two hours total
of "media time").
So basically, and I am sorry for this being so long and more a
storyline than questions, I would like to hear other people's
solutions to radical unschooling with large families. I admire many
of the ideas and solutions I see on this sight, but it seems they
don't always work in my house. I feel like I have to place some
limits that I don't want to be placing and make the kids do some
things they don't want to be doing. Has anyone else tried methods I
may have not thought about? I see how well unschooling has worked
towards their academics and brain development, but it doesn't seem
to be applying in all regards of life like I want it to.
If anyone needs me to be more specific, please ask.
Kathleen, tired but happy Mom to Dakota, Connor, Sage, Cheyenne and
Arizona
taliasafa
I certainly do not have a large family to draw experience from, but
definitely one that needs improvement and deals with conflicting
needs. Could holding family brainstorming sessions work, to come up
with solutions to the problems you have been having? If the kids were
the ones to come up with solutions it might "feel" better for
everyone. Maybe a once a week meeting to work on these things.
I read a great book on Nonviolent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg
[Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life: Create Your Life, Your
Relationships, and Your World in Harmony with Your Values (Nonviolent
Communication Guides)] that might be helpful in helping everyone
getting their needs met with out ignoring others or having feelings
hurt, etc.
There is also much shorter booklets called:
Parenting From Your Heart: Sharing the Gifts of Compassion,
Connection, and Choice (Nonviolent Communication Guides) by Inbal Kashtan
http://www.amazon.com/Parenting-Your-Heart-Compassion-Communication/dp/1892005085/ref=pd_bbs_sr_2/002-0890063-5903243?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1189627898&sr=8-2
Raising Children Compassionately: Parenting the Nonviolent
Communication Way (Nonviolent Communication Guides) by Marshall B.
Rosenberg
http://www.amazon.com/Respectful-Parents-Kids-Conflict-Cooperation/dp/1892005220/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/002-0890063-5903243?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1189628021&sr=8-1
and a book I own that is more specifically about parenting called:
Respectful Parents, Respectful Kids: 7 Keys to Turn Family Conflict
into Cooperation by Sura Hart and Victoria Kindle Hodson
http://www.amazon.com/Respectful-Parents-Kids-Conflict-Cooperation/dp/1892005220/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/002-0890063-5903243?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1189628021&sr=8-1
Sadly, I have not gotten a chance to read any of these yet, though I
was so impressed by two other booklets and the main NVC book that I am
sure these are good (someone else correct me, if I am wrong).
You might try sharing with them some tools to help with their
brainstorming and try it a couple times with them, and then give the
them the problem and let them have the sessions on their own at some
point without mom or dad. It would be cool to see what they came up
with. You might want to say that you are really open to their ideas
and then they can work on refining the solution that they present to
you and dad or if there is some limitation that they need to know
about (time, money, logistics, etc.), let them know about it and tell
them to go back to brainstorming with this info and see how they can
work that into the solution. I hope I am explaining myself clearly
enough. Let them know it can be really crazy and fun. They could get a
big piece of paper and markers and write things down or whatever. You
offer to do the writing down without adding imput unless they ask or
you could help facilites and help them refine as they go. Well, you
know what your kids might like best, but if everyone doesn't feel like
they are sharing in the solution making because they didn't feel like
they were heard for example, that might be a topic for a brainstorming
session with a parental facilitator.
Hope this helps,
Talia
--- In [email protected], "lolagranola5"
<edwardsgang@...> wrote:
definitely one that needs improvement and deals with conflicting
needs. Could holding family brainstorming sessions work, to come up
with solutions to the problems you have been having? If the kids were
the ones to come up with solutions it might "feel" better for
everyone. Maybe a once a week meeting to work on these things.
I read a great book on Nonviolent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg
[Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life: Create Your Life, Your
Relationships, and Your World in Harmony with Your Values (Nonviolent
Communication Guides)] that might be helpful in helping everyone
getting their needs met with out ignoring others or having feelings
hurt, etc.
There is also much shorter booklets called:
Parenting From Your Heart: Sharing the Gifts of Compassion,
Connection, and Choice (Nonviolent Communication Guides) by Inbal Kashtan
http://www.amazon.com/Parenting-Your-Heart-Compassion-Communication/dp/1892005085/ref=pd_bbs_sr_2/002-0890063-5903243?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1189627898&sr=8-2
Raising Children Compassionately: Parenting the Nonviolent
Communication Way (Nonviolent Communication Guides) by Marshall B.
Rosenberg
http://www.amazon.com/Respectful-Parents-Kids-Conflict-Cooperation/dp/1892005220/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/002-0890063-5903243?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1189628021&sr=8-1
and a book I own that is more specifically about parenting called:
Respectful Parents, Respectful Kids: 7 Keys to Turn Family Conflict
into Cooperation by Sura Hart and Victoria Kindle Hodson
http://www.amazon.com/Respectful-Parents-Kids-Conflict-Cooperation/dp/1892005220/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/002-0890063-5903243?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1189628021&sr=8-1
Sadly, I have not gotten a chance to read any of these yet, though I
was so impressed by two other booklets and the main NVC book that I am
sure these are good (someone else correct me, if I am wrong).
You might try sharing with them some tools to help with their
brainstorming and try it a couple times with them, and then give the
them the problem and let them have the sessions on their own at some
point without mom or dad. It would be cool to see what they came up
with. You might want to say that you are really open to their ideas
and then they can work on refining the solution that they present to
you and dad or if there is some limitation that they need to know
about (time, money, logistics, etc.), let them know about it and tell
them to go back to brainstorming with this info and see how they can
work that into the solution. I hope I am explaining myself clearly
enough. Let them know it can be really crazy and fun. They could get a
big piece of paper and markers and write things down or whatever. You
offer to do the writing down without adding imput unless they ask or
you could help facilites and help them refine as they go. Well, you
know what your kids might like best, but if everyone doesn't feel like
they are sharing in the solution making because they didn't feel like
they were heard for example, that might be a topic for a brainstorming
session with a parental facilitator.
Hope this helps,
Talia
--- In [email protected], "lolagranola5"
<edwardsgang@...> wrote:
> So basically, and I am sorry for this being so long and more a
> storyline than questions, I would like to hear other people's
> solutions to radical unschooling with large families. I admire many
> of the ideas and solutions I see on this sight, but it seems they
> don't always work in my house. I feel like I have to place some
> limits that I don't want to be placing and make the kids do some
> things they don't want to be doing. Has anyone else tried methods I
> may have not thought about? I see how well unschooling has worked
> towards their academics and brain development, but it doesn't seem
> to be applying in all regards of life like I want it to.
>
> If anyone needs me to be more specific, please ask.
>
> Kathleen, tired but happy Mom to Dakota, Connor, Sage, Cheyenne and
> Arizona
>
Kathleen Edwards
Thanks, Talia - I am going to check out the first book you mentioned. We have had family brainstorming sessions in the past, but the kids seemed to have a hard time participating, perhaps because they were still uncomfortable with the idea. I never thought to find a book on the subject. Perhaps that will teach me how to broach the subject to them in a better way.
Thank you!
Kathleen
taliasafa <taliasafa@...> wrote:
I certainly do not have a large family to draw experience from, but
definitely one that needs improvement and deals with conflicting
needs. Could holding family brainstorming sessions work, to come up
with solutions to the problems you have been having? If the kids were
the ones to come up with solutions it might "feel" better for
everyone. Maybe a once a week meeting to work on these things.
I read a great book on Nonviolent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg
[Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life: Create Your Life, Your
Relationships, and Your World in Harmony with Your Values (Nonviolent
Communication Guides)] that might be helpful in helping everyone
getting their needs met with out ignoring others or having feelings
hurt, etc.
There is also much shorter booklets called:
Parenting From Your Heart: Sharing the Gifts of Compassion,
Connection, and Choice (Nonviolent Communication Guides) by Inbal Kashtan
http://www.amazon.com/Parenting-Your-Heart-Compassion-Communication/dp/1892005085/ref=pd_bbs_sr_2/002-0890063-5903243?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1189627898&sr=8-2
Raising Children Compassionately: Parenting the Nonviolent
Communication Way (Nonviolent Communication Guides) by Marshall B.
Rosenberg
http://www.amazon.com/Respectful-Parents-Kids-Conflict-Cooperation/dp/1892005220/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/002-0890063-5903243?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1189628021&sr=8-1
and a book I own that is more specifically about parenting called:
Respectful Parents, Respectful Kids: 7 Keys to Turn Family Conflict
into Cooperation by Sura Hart and Victoria Kindle Hodson
http://www.amazon.com/Respectful-Parents-Kids-Conflict-Cooperation/dp/1892005220/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/002-0890063-5903243?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1189628021&sr=8-1
Sadly, I have not gotten a chance to read any of these yet, though I
was so impressed by two other booklets and the main NVC book that I am
sure these are good (someone else correct me, if I am wrong).
You might try sharing with them some tools to help with their
brainstorming and try it a couple times with them, and then give the
them the problem and let them have the sessions on their own at some
point without mom or dad. It would be cool to see what they came up
with. You might want to say that you are really open to their ideas
and then they can work on refining the solution that they present to
you and dad or if there is some limitation that they need to know
about (time, money, logistics, etc.), let them know about it and tell
them to go back to brainstorming with this info and see how they can
work that into the solution. I hope I am explaining myself clearly
enough. Let them know it can be really crazy and fun. They could get a
big piece of paper and markers and write things down or whatever. You
offer to do the writing down without adding imput unless they ask or
you could help facilites and help them refine as they go. Well, you
know what your kids might like best, but if everyone doesn't feel like
they are sharing in the solution making because they didn't feel like
they were heard for example, that might be a topic for a brainstorming
session with a parental facilitator.
Hope this helps,
Talia
--- In [email protected], "lolagranola5"
<edwardsgang@...> wrote:
Thank you!
Kathleen
taliasafa <taliasafa@...> wrote:
I certainly do not have a large family to draw experience from, but
definitely one that needs improvement and deals with conflicting
needs. Could holding family brainstorming sessions work, to come up
with solutions to the problems you have been having? If the kids were
the ones to come up with solutions it might "feel" better for
everyone. Maybe a once a week meeting to work on these things.
I read a great book on Nonviolent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg
[Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life: Create Your Life, Your
Relationships, and Your World in Harmony with Your Values (Nonviolent
Communication Guides)] that might be helpful in helping everyone
getting their needs met with out ignoring others or having feelings
hurt, etc.
There is also much shorter booklets called:
Parenting From Your Heart: Sharing the Gifts of Compassion,
Connection, and Choice (Nonviolent Communication Guides) by Inbal Kashtan
http://www.amazon.com/Parenting-Your-Heart-Compassion-Communication/dp/1892005085/ref=pd_bbs_sr_2/002-0890063-5903243?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1189627898&sr=8-2
Raising Children Compassionately: Parenting the Nonviolent
Communication Way (Nonviolent Communication Guides) by Marshall B.
Rosenberg
http://www.amazon.com/Respectful-Parents-Kids-Conflict-Cooperation/dp/1892005220/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/002-0890063-5903243?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1189628021&sr=8-1
and a book I own that is more specifically about parenting called:
Respectful Parents, Respectful Kids: 7 Keys to Turn Family Conflict
into Cooperation by Sura Hart and Victoria Kindle Hodson
http://www.amazon.com/Respectful-Parents-Kids-Conflict-Cooperation/dp/1892005220/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/002-0890063-5903243?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1189628021&sr=8-1
Sadly, I have not gotten a chance to read any of these yet, though I
was so impressed by two other booklets and the main NVC book that I am
sure these are good (someone else correct me, if I am wrong).
You might try sharing with them some tools to help with their
brainstorming and try it a couple times with them, and then give the
them the problem and let them have the sessions on their own at some
point without mom or dad. It would be cool to see what they came up
with. You might want to say that you are really open to their ideas
and then they can work on refining the solution that they present to
you and dad or if there is some limitation that they need to know
about (time, money, logistics, etc.), let them know about it and tell
them to go back to brainstorming with this info and see how they can
work that into the solution. I hope I am explaining myself clearly
enough. Let them know it can be really crazy and fun. They could get a
big piece of paper and markers and write things down or whatever. You
offer to do the writing down without adding imput unless they ask or
you could help facilites and help them refine as they go. Well, you
know what your kids might like best, but if everyone doesn't feel like
they are sharing in the solution making because they didn't feel like
they were heard for example, that might be a topic for a brainstorming
session with a parental facilitator.
Hope this helps,
Talia
--- In [email protected], "lolagranola5"
<edwardsgang@...> wrote:
> So basically, and I am sorry for this being so long and more a[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> storyline than questions, I would like to hear other people's
> solutions to radical unschooling with large families. I admire many
> of the ideas and solutions I see on this sight, but it seems they
> don't always work in my house. I feel like I have to place some
> limits that I don't want to be placing and make the kids do some
> things they don't want to be doing. Has anyone else tried methods I
> may have not thought about? I see how well unschooling has worked
> towards their academics and brain development, but it doesn't seem
> to be applying in all regards of life like I want it to.
>
> If anyone needs me to be more specific, please ask.
>
> Kathleen, tired but happy Mom to Dakota, Connor, Sage, Cheyenne and
> Arizona
>
taliasafa
The book is not about brainstorming per se, but will probably help you
express your feeling and your needs without making them feel as
uncomfortable and it will help everyone get what they need by being
able to speak more effectively during the discussions.
Of course you don't want to force them to do this, but maybe they are
a little older than they were before and they will be more up for it?
best of luck!!
Talia
--- In [email protected], Kathleen Edwards
<edwardsgang@...> wrote:
the kids seemed to have a hard time participating, perhaps because
they were still uncomfortable with the idea. I never thought to find
a book on the subject. Perhaps that will teach me how to broach the
subject to them in a better way.
express your feeling and your needs without making them feel as
uncomfortable and it will help everyone get what they need by being
able to speak more effectively during the discussions.
Of course you don't want to force them to do this, but maybe they are
a little older than they were before and they will be more up for it?
best of luck!!
Talia
--- In [email protected], Kathleen Edwards
<edwardsgang@...> wrote:
>mentioned. We have had family brainstorming sessions in the past, but
> Thanks, Talia - I am going to check out the first book you
the kids seemed to have a hard time participating, perhaps because
they were still uncomfortable with the idea. I never thought to find
a book on the subject. Perhaps that will teach me how to broach the
subject to them in a better way.
>
> Thank you!
>
> Kathleen