One of the Wechts

All we have are words here.
I rarely post, but the minute "cookie cutter" was posted I went "What????"
When we read and write, we tend to go by traditional definitions
and NO, I do not think that it is the word to use even after your explanation.
In my head I could place idealist or fantasy or perfect in place of it, and it would seem more
in line with where you were going.
No, things do not always work out where everyone gets what they want,
but the importance of that isn't in the "fact" or "perception".
The importance is in our attitude.

Some seem to want someone to tell them it is Ok to say "NO".
Hence the "running in front of a car" or "looking at porn" scenarios.
But that idea in general is not what I would want to convey.
There are plenty of places to go where folks will say just that.
If I say "yes", it is fine to say NO", I am supporting those who want an out. They want to go no go farther, think no harder or differently. Whether you do or don't is not the point. It this case it is not meant to be all about you.
There are lots of people on this list reading this dialogue.
I am willing to bet that everyone on this list has said "NO" sometimes.
We can admit that and say we are "not perfect" but once again that is not the point.
The point is in every instance we are hopefully trying to find another way, and that we learn from our 'less than perfect" days.

Snips from Maura's post

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...and the other thing is, in one way or another I see that eventually I would have to restrict
him, or whatever you wanna call it. And I'm not unwilling to not restrict him.

But I just, with every scenario I imagine, or people suggest, I still see me ultimately having
to control the situation.

And I'm not saying I'm
unwilling to try; I'm just saying I still don't have confidence that it will work out.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

The attitude is key here. A bad paraphrased piece of some quote somewhere says
"if you think you can't...you can't... "

So decide that you can work it out and it will be better. Brain storm with your son, you family, your neighbors.
You have already started it here, so now take it farther and try to internalize the idea that
you are not doomed to some inevitable conclusion before you even start.

Positive energy is a powerful tool.

Beth in MD







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