like the concept of unschooling.......but could I?
pastors_online
Hi, I like the ideas behind unschooling but due to my own
limitations I found it very difficult emotionally to homeschool
K (I only have one child, a son). He went to a private
school from gr. 1 through 6. I guess I'm not sure I could
unschool him. I don't want him to be unhappy in school
and I would prefer an environs where he would be happy, creative,
learning and without all ther rote stuff and grades and pressures.
However, I seem to need a LOT of time alone, and he and I
don't like to do the same things (which isn't wrong or that
unusual but it makes it harder).
I think most of the pressure I feel is self generated....he
is pretty happy left alone alot and likes to do video games
but I try to interest him in other things to get some balance.
When he was younger I tried to spend a lot of time with him
because I was basically abandoned as a young child and I
didn't want him to feel lonely.
He doesn't like to go most places with me so I end up feeling very
trapped. I can leave him alone for some time now as he
is older but I have reservations about doing that. He isn't
usually interested in taking little trips or going places although
in the summer he will go with me at times to a lake.
At his age he has lost interest in playgrounds, which we used
to go to when he was younger.
He and I like DVDs at time, and he really likes video games.
I am also concerned about what his school experience is doing
to him. I am going to tell him to forget about the grade pressure
entirely......I have tried tutoring, and last year (grade 6, first
year of middle school) he got several Fs even though he did all
his homework, something about his handwriting...
I feel they are too uptight about the details....not that it
is wrong, but it isn't the best thing for him.
I think he would be less uptight about school if I honestly
forget about grades......there is way too much pressure on
kids in this area in my opinion.....some kids are OK with it.
I might be better with a more alternative type of school set up
but it's either not available or very expensive. I'm also looking
into homeschool centers where kids can take courses etc but
have more choice. I realize that isn't the same as unschooling.
I would appreciate any feedback, help etc.
There IS a big difference between grade K and age 5 and now,
at age 12. However my son really likes to do whatever he wants
which isn't necessarily bad at all......when I "homeschooled"
in grade K I wasn't really familiar with the unschooling
concept....just finding it out.....so I thought I had to be in
control, and making certain things happen, etc.
I realize unschooling would be different for different parents,
families, and children......
There are support groups around here for home schooling which
aren't expensive although most of them are not doing un scholing per
se. There are also some unschooling groups and centers
but the center is more expensive than his current private
Christian school.
I'm wondering if anyone has any help or feedback?
Thanks.
Laurie
--------------------------
limitations I found it very difficult emotionally to homeschool
K (I only have one child, a son). He went to a private
school from gr. 1 through 6. I guess I'm not sure I could
unschool him. I don't want him to be unhappy in school
and I would prefer an environs where he would be happy, creative,
learning and without all ther rote stuff and grades and pressures.
However, I seem to need a LOT of time alone, and he and I
don't like to do the same things (which isn't wrong or that
unusual but it makes it harder).
I think most of the pressure I feel is self generated....he
is pretty happy left alone alot and likes to do video games
but I try to interest him in other things to get some balance.
When he was younger I tried to spend a lot of time with him
because I was basically abandoned as a young child and I
didn't want him to feel lonely.
He doesn't like to go most places with me so I end up feeling very
trapped. I can leave him alone for some time now as he
is older but I have reservations about doing that. He isn't
usually interested in taking little trips or going places although
in the summer he will go with me at times to a lake.
At his age he has lost interest in playgrounds, which we used
to go to when he was younger.
He and I like DVDs at time, and he really likes video games.
I am also concerned about what his school experience is doing
to him. I am going to tell him to forget about the grade pressure
entirely......I have tried tutoring, and last year (grade 6, first
year of middle school) he got several Fs even though he did all
his homework, something about his handwriting...
I feel they are too uptight about the details....not that it
is wrong, but it isn't the best thing for him.
I think he would be less uptight about school if I honestly
forget about grades......there is way too much pressure on
kids in this area in my opinion.....some kids are OK with it.
I might be better with a more alternative type of school set up
but it's either not available or very expensive. I'm also looking
into homeschool centers where kids can take courses etc but
have more choice. I realize that isn't the same as unschooling.
I would appreciate any feedback, help etc.
There IS a big difference between grade K and age 5 and now,
at age 12. However my son really likes to do whatever he wants
which isn't necessarily bad at all......when I "homeschooled"
in grade K I wasn't really familiar with the unschooling
concept....just finding it out.....so I thought I had to be in
control, and making certain things happen, etc.
I realize unschooling would be different for different parents,
families, and children......
There are support groups around here for home schooling which
aren't expensive although most of them are not doing un scholing per
se. There are also some unschooling groups and centers
but the center is more expensive than his current private
Christian school.
I'm wondering if anyone has any help or feedback?
Thanks.
Laurie
--------------------------
Meredith
--- In [email protected], "pastors_online"
<pastors_online@...> wrote:
interests have started to expand beyond computer games he still
doesn't like to go anywhere that could be seen as a "field trip".
That's awkward for me, since it leaves me sort of floundering for
(cheap to free) ideas, but we, as a family, have found some other
ways for him to have outings that he enjoys. Solutions of this kind
are going to be unique to families, to some extent, but its worth
considering what kinds of resources you may be able to call on,
including human resources.
surprising statement, but this idea of "the well rounded child" is
just an idea. It doesn't necessarily have anything to do with the
real needs of real individual kids. If he *needed* to be doing a
dozen different things, he'd be asking for that in some way.
Its really hard to say how things would look if he wasn't in school
because there's so much of his thinking and behavior tied up in
school right now. When he's home he's home From School. When he's on
vacation, its From School. So school and his feelings about school
and reactions to school are coloring everything he does.
sake of your relationship with your son? That's not meant to be
either rhetorical or snarky, its something to think about really
hard. There's a big cultural expectation that our primary job as
parents is to prepare kids for life - and their happiness will,
presumably take care of itself along the way. Unschooling comes from
the perspective that our job is to build a partnership with our
kids - and part of that is helping our partners be happy in their
lives right now. That's a pretty big shift in expectations, and
takes a lot of internal work on the part of the parents.
I don't share a lot of interests with my stepson, so I have to work
harder to connect with him, to find out about him, to understand his
likes and dislikes and passions. He's still pretty baffling to me
sometimes, and I still worry that I'm not really doing "enough". Its
a process.
---Meredith (Mo 5.5, Ray 13)
<pastors_online@...> wrote:
>> He doesn't like to go most places with me so I end up feeling veryRay's been out of school for almost 9 months now (!) and while his
> trapped. I can leave him alone for some time now as he
> is older but I have reservations about doing that. He isn't
> usually interested in taking little trips or going places although
> in the summer he will go with me at times to a lake.
interests have started to expand beyond computer games he still
doesn't like to go anywhere that could be seen as a "field trip".
That's awkward for me, since it leaves me sort of floundering for
(cheap to free) ideas, but we, as a family, have found some other
ways for him to have outings that he enjoys. Solutions of this kind
are going to be unique to families, to some extent, but its worth
considering what kinds of resources you may be able to call on,
including human resources.
> I think most of the pressure I feel is self generated....heBalance isn't necessarily something he needs. That may be a
> is pretty happy left alone alot and likes to do video games
> but I try to interest him in other things to get some balance.
surprising statement, but this idea of "the well rounded child" is
just an idea. It doesn't necessarily have anything to do with the
real needs of real individual kids. If he *needed* to be doing a
dozen different things, he'd be asking for that in some way.
Its really hard to say how things would look if he wasn't in school
because there's so much of his thinking and behavior tied up in
school right now. When he's home he's home From School. When he's on
vacation, its From School. So school and his feelings about school
and reactions to school are coloring everything he does.
> However, I seem to need a LOT of time alone, and he and IIt does make it harder - how hard are you willing to work for the
> don't like to do the same things (which isn't wrong or that
> unusual but it makes it harder).
sake of your relationship with your son? That's not meant to be
either rhetorical or snarky, its something to think about really
hard. There's a big cultural expectation that our primary job as
parents is to prepare kids for life - and their happiness will,
presumably take care of itself along the way. Unschooling comes from
the perspective that our job is to build a partnership with our
kids - and part of that is helping our partners be happy in their
lives right now. That's a pretty big shift in expectations, and
takes a lot of internal work on the part of the parents.
I don't share a lot of interests with my stepson, so I have to work
harder to connect with him, to find out about him, to understand his
likes and dislikes and passions. He's still pretty baffling to me
sometimes, and I still worry that I'm not really doing "enough". Its
a process.
---Meredith (Mo 5.5, Ray 13)
[email protected]
-----Original Message-----
From: pastors_online <pastors_online@...>
Hi, I like the ideas behind unschooling but due to my own
limitations I found it very difficult emotionally to homeschool
K (I only have one child, a son). He went to a private
school from gr. 1 through 6. I guess I'm not sure I could
unschool him. I don't want him to be unhappy in school
and I would prefer an environs where he would be happy, creative,
learning and without all ther rote stuff and grades and pressures.
-=-=--
I was in a very similar boat. We pulled Cameron out of a private prep
school just after sixth grade.
-=-=-=-=-=-
I might be better with a more alternative type of school set up
but it's either not available or very expensive. I'm also looking
into homeschool centers where kids can take courses etc but
have more choice. I realize that isn't the same as unschooling.
-=-=-
SO why are you looking at them? For social reasons?
-=-=-=-=-
There are support groups around here for home schooling which
aren't expensive although most of them are not doing un scholing per
se. There are also some unschooling groups and centers
but the center is more expensive than his current private
Christian school.
I'm wondering if anyone has any help or feedback?
-=-=-
Where are you? Finding other unschoolers to hang iwth would help a LOT!
Mostly just let him heal right now. The scars from school are still
fresh and painful. He needs time to lick his wounds before he can get
back out to explore. There's really no short cut there!
Lots and lots of time to veg-out and play alone (although you should
still interact with him and offer new, exciting things---he'll just
have to let you know when he's ready!). He may feel "less than" for a
while because he's not cramming Shakespeare and algebra like his
schooled friends, but his love of learning will return in time.
Trust. Patience. Respect. Generosity.
Cameron's 19 now---and it was a rough ride at first, but he's been a
different child for so long now that we forget how hard those first 18
months or so actually were!
~Kelly
Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
http://www.LiveandLearnConference.org
________________________________________________________________________
AOL now offers free email to everyone. Find out more about what's free
from AOL at AOL.com.
From: pastors_online <pastors_online@...>
Hi, I like the ideas behind unschooling but due to my own
limitations I found it very difficult emotionally to homeschool
K (I only have one child, a son). He went to a private
school from gr. 1 through 6. I guess I'm not sure I could
unschool him. I don't want him to be unhappy in school
and I would prefer an environs where he would be happy, creative,
learning and without all ther rote stuff and grades and pressures.
-=-=--
I was in a very similar boat. We pulled Cameron out of a private prep
school just after sixth grade.
-=-=-=-=-=-
I might be better with a more alternative type of school set up
but it's either not available or very expensive. I'm also looking
into homeschool centers where kids can take courses etc but
have more choice. I realize that isn't the same as unschooling.
-=-=-
SO why are you looking at them? For social reasons?
-=-=-=-=-
There are support groups around here for home schooling which
aren't expensive although most of them are not doing un scholing per
se. There are also some unschooling groups and centers
but the center is more expensive than his current private
Christian school.
I'm wondering if anyone has any help or feedback?
-=-=-
Where are you? Finding other unschoolers to hang iwth would help a LOT!
Mostly just let him heal right now. The scars from school are still
fresh and painful. He needs time to lick his wounds before he can get
back out to explore. There's really no short cut there!
Lots and lots of time to veg-out and play alone (although you should
still interact with him and offer new, exciting things---he'll just
have to let you know when he's ready!). He may feel "less than" for a
while because he's not cramming Shakespeare and algebra like his
schooled friends, but his love of learning will return in time.
Trust. Patience. Respect. Generosity.
Cameron's 19 now---and it was a rough ride at first, but he's been a
different child for so long now that we forget how hard those first 18
months or so actually were!
~Kelly
Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
http://www.LiveandLearnConference.org
________________________________________________________________________
AOL now offers free email to everyone. Find out more about what's free
from AOL at AOL.com.