update on our weekend
Sherri-Lee Pressman
Hi all, I just might be getting the hang of this and thought I would share
for your reflection,
You know about our Saturday, well Sunday we had a quiet day as well, just at
home and dd spent time on the computer again at Pollypocket.com etc. Then we
went to the circus in the evening with friends, and everyone had a great
time. When we got home from the circus, it was 9pm, which is usually the
time I try to get her into bed, but decided that I was just too beat and my
feet were too swollen to make the effort to do bedtime, so told her she
could stay up until I went to sleep too. So she was up later and slept in a
bit and then today I just felt like I was getting an ear infection and that
might explain how tired I have been. So we had a lazy morning, then went out
for a few groceries and when we came home I set her up with pollypocket.com
again while I had a lay down and then she watched TV. Later in the afternoon
I went out to pick peas for supper, she happily came with me not at my
suggestion, I just said I was going and she wanted to come. Then I went out
and sat on the deck and she came out and wanted to skip rope. Well her idea
of rope skipping has been for me to spin in and her to jump *near* it not in
it:-) So today I said how about we learn how properly and so she said yes
and we spent a really happy time with her jumping rope. Slowly for sure but
whenever I said jump she did and she is now getting it. We laughed and had
fun.
Now she is helping her dad make supper (I asked him to cause I was so tired
so I am doing email - see I am learning) and again, no fights, no stress
just a wonderful loving day. I am liking this! The days are peaceful. I had
moments of guilt this afternoon while I rested, but I shooed them away
eventually.
My personal issue now is that if I am home, I find I am bored easily. I tend
to fall into the trap of vegging in front of the TV instead of doing most
anything else, except computer. I hear about when you are all at home you
are doing crafts or reading or gardening or some other fantastic hobby or
interest you have and I can't seem to get up the gumption to do it. It is
like, if I am at home it is total down time otherwise we are out doing,
there is no happy medium. I think this might come from my restaurant
management days, when I was out working or partying, and then eventually
came home to recoup. But those days are gone and I don't seem to be able to
figure out how to change the pattern. I have plenty of interests, lots of
things I would like to know or know how to do but seem to be unable to take
the interest to any sort of completion. I thought I wanted to do scrap
booking, so took a course and got all the supplies and did one page and
there it sits. Thought I wanted to knit and took a course and got the
supplies and there it sits. This is not a new thing for me, I have lots of
interests, but get stalled in the learning stage, want to go straight to
mastery I think. Any thoughts?
Thank you for all your support!
Sherri-Lee
Need safe and natural health products?
http://www.aloeessence.com
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
for your reflection,
You know about our Saturday, well Sunday we had a quiet day as well, just at
home and dd spent time on the computer again at Pollypocket.com etc. Then we
went to the circus in the evening with friends, and everyone had a great
time. When we got home from the circus, it was 9pm, which is usually the
time I try to get her into bed, but decided that I was just too beat and my
feet were too swollen to make the effort to do bedtime, so told her she
could stay up until I went to sleep too. So she was up later and slept in a
bit and then today I just felt like I was getting an ear infection and that
might explain how tired I have been. So we had a lazy morning, then went out
for a few groceries and when we came home I set her up with pollypocket.com
again while I had a lay down and then she watched TV. Later in the afternoon
I went out to pick peas for supper, she happily came with me not at my
suggestion, I just said I was going and she wanted to come. Then I went out
and sat on the deck and she came out and wanted to skip rope. Well her idea
of rope skipping has been for me to spin in and her to jump *near* it not in
it:-) So today I said how about we learn how properly and so she said yes
and we spent a really happy time with her jumping rope. Slowly for sure but
whenever I said jump she did and she is now getting it. We laughed and had
fun.
Now she is helping her dad make supper (I asked him to cause I was so tired
so I am doing email - see I am learning) and again, no fights, no stress
just a wonderful loving day. I am liking this! The days are peaceful. I had
moments of guilt this afternoon while I rested, but I shooed them away
eventually.
My personal issue now is that if I am home, I find I am bored easily. I tend
to fall into the trap of vegging in front of the TV instead of doing most
anything else, except computer. I hear about when you are all at home you
are doing crafts or reading or gardening or some other fantastic hobby or
interest you have and I can't seem to get up the gumption to do it. It is
like, if I am at home it is total down time otherwise we are out doing,
there is no happy medium. I think this might come from my restaurant
management days, when I was out working or partying, and then eventually
came home to recoup. But those days are gone and I don't seem to be able to
figure out how to change the pattern. I have plenty of interests, lots of
things I would like to know or know how to do but seem to be unable to take
the interest to any sort of completion. I thought I wanted to do scrap
booking, so took a course and got all the supplies and did one page and
there it sits. Thought I wanted to knit and took a course and got the
supplies and there it sits. This is not a new thing for me, I have lots of
interests, but get stalled in the learning stage, want to go straight to
mastery I think. Any thoughts?
Thank you for all your support!
Sherri-Lee
Need safe and natural health products?
http://www.aloeessence.com
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Jon and Rue Kream
Hi Sherri-Lee - I'm so glad to hear you're letting yourself get what you
need, and that your daughter's happy, and that your dh left the cave long
enough to make dinner <G>.
mastery I think. Any thoughts?
**I used to feel the same way, and I tried a bunch of things like you
described - knitting and pottery and all sorts of others. Pretty much
anything that crossed my path. I think for me it was part of the process of
opening myself up to having a passion. For a while none of the things I
tried held my interest. But the more things I tried the more I enjoyed
trying things just for the sake of learning even a little bit. Seeing my
kids just jump in and try anything that seemed interesting and dropping it
when it wasn't was very helpful for me.
When jewelry making came along I think I was at just the right place to grab
on and go with it. I had learned that there was value for me in dabbling. I
had learned that becoming proficient in something takes time (I don't think
I'll ever 'master' it. There's always more to learn, and that's a huge part
of the fun.) and I had learned that I wasn't interested in putting that time
into just anything. One day I announced to Jon that I felt ready to find
'the' way to express myself, and very shortly thereafter I found it.
Don't stop dabbling. It's ok if you think scrapbooking is it and then it
collects dust (although in that case I usually hand the supplies over to my
kids :0) ). You won't find 'it' unless you keep that part of yourself open
to seeing it.
Oh, and you might enjoy Ren's creativity e-list. To subscribe send an email
to [email protected]. :0) ~Rue
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
need, and that your daughter's happy, and that your dh left the cave long
enough to make dinner <G>.
>>I have lots ofinterests, but get stalled in the learning stage, want to go straight to
mastery I think. Any thoughts?
**I used to feel the same way, and I tried a bunch of things like you
described - knitting and pottery and all sorts of others. Pretty much
anything that crossed my path. I think for me it was part of the process of
opening myself up to having a passion. For a while none of the things I
tried held my interest. But the more things I tried the more I enjoyed
trying things just for the sake of learning even a little bit. Seeing my
kids just jump in and try anything that seemed interesting and dropping it
when it wasn't was very helpful for me.
When jewelry making came along I think I was at just the right place to grab
on and go with it. I had learned that there was value for me in dabbling. I
had learned that becoming proficient in something takes time (I don't think
I'll ever 'master' it. There's always more to learn, and that's a huge part
of the fun.) and I had learned that I wasn't interested in putting that time
into just anything. One day I announced to Jon that I felt ready to find
'the' way to express myself, and very shortly thereafter I found it.
Don't stop dabbling. It's ok if you think scrapbooking is it and then it
collects dust (although in that case I usually hand the supplies over to my
kids :0) ). You won't find 'it' unless you keep that part of yourself open
to seeing it.
Oh, and you might enjoy Ren's creativity e-list. To subscribe send an email
to [email protected]. :0) ~Rue
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Robyn Coburn
<<<My personal issue now is that if I am home, I find I am bored easily. I
tend
to fall into the trap of vegging in front of the TV instead of doing most
anything else, except computer. I hear about when you are all at home you
are doing crafts or reading or gardening or some other fantastic hobby or
interest you have and I can't seem to get up the gumption to do it. It is
like, if I am at home it is total down time otherwise we are out doing,
there is no happy medium. I think this might come from my restaurant
management days, when I was out working or partying, and then eventually
came home to recoup. But those days are gone and I don't seem to be able to
figure out how to change the pattern. I have plenty of interests, lots of
things I would like to know or know how to do but seem to be unable to take
the interest to any sort of completion. I thought I wanted to do scrap
booking, so took a course and got all the supplies and did one page and
there it sits. Thought I wanted to knit and took a course and got the
supplies and there it sits. This is not a new thing for me, I have lots of
interests, but get stalled in the learning stage, want to go straight to
mastery I think. Any thoughts?>>>
So familiar! All of this, except in my case it was life in the theater
rather than restaurant industry.
One of the phrases in Sandra's empowerment certificate says that you have
the freedom to begin and cease any and all projects with the right to return
to them one day or never. The idea that merely beginning some project
automatically mandates completion of it is probably a leftover schoolthink.
That is when kids have so little time for their own stuff, what with
homework and essays and required reading, that none can afford to be wasted
on things that are simply experimental forays into possible future
interests. It doesn't have to still apply to us or our kids.
One thing though: if you genuinely suspect that you won't get back into any
of these crafty type things, tossing (or donating) the materials - what is
actually nothing but clutter - will free you from the guilt of having them
"hanging over you". Believe me, I have found getting it out of the house is
the best way to get it out of mind also. BTW "donating" can also apply to
giving the items to the kids for some other creative use.
Vegging out in front of the tv, or the crossword, or the light romance
novel, or the garden bed full of weeds, or laps in the swimming pool, or the
computer Solitaire, in some ways is like taking a nap and sometimes a
meditation. The conscious mind is at most lightly engaged and the emotions
also get a chance to relax. Maybe the subconscious is doing some processing.
If you read Jane Austen, you may start feeling that it is imperative to have
busy hands, like crocheting or knitting or quilting or mending while
relaxing. I say only if you really do enjoy those activities or really need
the mending done. Nor is this veg-out time necessarily the time that you
would be putting towards your passion-hobby in a fully emotionally and
intellectually engaged way, especially if you are physically tired. Chances
are you would still want to have periods of doing nothing (some call it
consolidation) in between periods of busy activities.
I'm not sure that just before a baby is due is the time when those of us
with hobbies we love necessarily discovered them. Personally I spent a good
deal of that time, when not reading child care and birthing books,
contemplating my navel, and reveling the excuse to do so.
Going out onto a limb, as usual, I want to suggest to you that this
concentrating on the "shoulds" is part of a pattern you have shown us of
being really hard on yourself, and focusing on the negative - the not-done,
the mistake, the running mental litany of criticism installed by a parent or
some other authority figure. If you did have some immense enduring interest,
the danger would be that you would then feel guilty that it was being set
aside while you cared for your new baby and dd.
One of the startling joys of Unschooling, is that we can give ourselves the
same freedom to enjoy life that we are so rigorously ensuring for our
children. It works in both directions - treating children with equal respect
for their capabilities, emotions and interests as we would treat another
beloved adult; and treating other adults and ourselves with the same freedom
to experiment, be playful, acknowledging our right to sometimes *appear*
unproductive, and explore diverse interests without needing to declare a
lifetime commitment to any of them.
Robyn L. Coburn
---
Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free.
Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com).
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tend
to fall into the trap of vegging in front of the TV instead of doing most
anything else, except computer. I hear about when you are all at home you
are doing crafts or reading or gardening or some other fantastic hobby or
interest you have and I can't seem to get up the gumption to do it. It is
like, if I am at home it is total down time otherwise we are out doing,
there is no happy medium. I think this might come from my restaurant
management days, when I was out working or partying, and then eventually
came home to recoup. But those days are gone and I don't seem to be able to
figure out how to change the pattern. I have plenty of interests, lots of
things I would like to know or know how to do but seem to be unable to take
the interest to any sort of completion. I thought I wanted to do scrap
booking, so took a course and got all the supplies and did one page and
there it sits. Thought I wanted to knit and took a course and got the
supplies and there it sits. This is not a new thing for me, I have lots of
interests, but get stalled in the learning stage, want to go straight to
mastery I think. Any thoughts?>>>
So familiar! All of this, except in my case it was life in the theater
rather than restaurant industry.
One of the phrases in Sandra's empowerment certificate says that you have
the freedom to begin and cease any and all projects with the right to return
to them one day or never. The idea that merely beginning some project
automatically mandates completion of it is probably a leftover schoolthink.
That is when kids have so little time for their own stuff, what with
homework and essays and required reading, that none can afford to be wasted
on things that are simply experimental forays into possible future
interests. It doesn't have to still apply to us or our kids.
One thing though: if you genuinely suspect that you won't get back into any
of these crafty type things, tossing (or donating) the materials - what is
actually nothing but clutter - will free you from the guilt of having them
"hanging over you". Believe me, I have found getting it out of the house is
the best way to get it out of mind also. BTW "donating" can also apply to
giving the items to the kids for some other creative use.
Vegging out in front of the tv, or the crossword, or the light romance
novel, or the garden bed full of weeds, or laps in the swimming pool, or the
computer Solitaire, in some ways is like taking a nap and sometimes a
meditation. The conscious mind is at most lightly engaged and the emotions
also get a chance to relax. Maybe the subconscious is doing some processing.
If you read Jane Austen, you may start feeling that it is imperative to have
busy hands, like crocheting or knitting or quilting or mending while
relaxing. I say only if you really do enjoy those activities or really need
the mending done. Nor is this veg-out time necessarily the time that you
would be putting towards your passion-hobby in a fully emotionally and
intellectually engaged way, especially if you are physically tired. Chances
are you would still want to have periods of doing nothing (some call it
consolidation) in between periods of busy activities.
I'm not sure that just before a baby is due is the time when those of us
with hobbies we love necessarily discovered them. Personally I spent a good
deal of that time, when not reading child care and birthing books,
contemplating my navel, and reveling the excuse to do so.
Going out onto a limb, as usual, I want to suggest to you that this
concentrating on the "shoulds" is part of a pattern you have shown us of
being really hard on yourself, and focusing on the negative - the not-done,
the mistake, the running mental litany of criticism installed by a parent or
some other authority figure. If you did have some immense enduring interest,
the danger would be that you would then feel guilty that it was being set
aside while you cared for your new baby and dd.
One of the startling joys of Unschooling, is that we can give ourselves the
same freedom to enjoy life that we are so rigorously ensuring for our
children. It works in both directions - treating children with equal respect
for their capabilities, emotions and interests as we would treat another
beloved adult; and treating other adults and ourselves with the same freedom
to experiment, be playful, acknowledging our right to sometimes *appear*
unproductive, and explore diverse interests without needing to declare a
lifetime commitment to any of them.
Robyn L. Coburn
---
Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free.
Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com).
Version: 6.0.726 / Virus Database: 481 - Release Date: 7/22/2004
Ren
"Now she is helping her dad make supper (I asked him to cause I was so tired
so I am doing email - see I am learning) and again, no fights, no stress
just a wonderful loving day. I am liking this! The days are peaceful. I had
moments of guilt this afternoon while I rested, but I shooed them away
eventually."
Whooohooo!~ Way to go Sherri! Sounds wonderful and "just right" to me.
You know, sometimes we all talk about all our interests and bubbly fun things here, that maybe it paints a false picture of our lives. I mean, who wants to hear about all the time my kids and I spend watching tv, or just laying around or talking or eating or???
It's the interests and fun things that get talked about, but that certainly isn't 95% of our day!:)
In fact, we spend a lot of days just "hanging out" at home. I NEED those do-nuthin' kinda days in order to feel energized about the things I DO love.
If you look over an entire month, you're still doing a lot, even with many down days. Sometimes I start feeling like all we do is hang out, watch tv, read books, play games etc... and then I look over a whole month and realize we really do neat things. Those are the things I talk about the most, but the majority of our time is spent close to home doing normal things like grocery shopping, gardening etc...
It's too hot here for me to enjoy the out of doors much right now, so we hibernate indoors a LOT.:)
When you come to the list and read from many different families and all the various interests, it's easy to feel like you aren't doing enough. Maybe we should start a "down days at home" thread to balance it out! lol
I use the bubbly interests and busy days as examples of how children learn outside of school, not to show people that we are constantly busy with projects and fun things....that's just not the case around here. Although with four children, there's automatically always SOMETHING going on.:)
Ren
Learn about unschooling at:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/unschoolingbasics/
so I am doing email - see I am learning) and again, no fights, no stress
just a wonderful loving day. I am liking this! The days are peaceful. I had
moments of guilt this afternoon while I rested, but I shooed them away
eventually."
Whooohooo!~ Way to go Sherri! Sounds wonderful and "just right" to me.
You know, sometimes we all talk about all our interests and bubbly fun things here, that maybe it paints a false picture of our lives. I mean, who wants to hear about all the time my kids and I spend watching tv, or just laying around or talking or eating or???
It's the interests and fun things that get talked about, but that certainly isn't 95% of our day!:)
In fact, we spend a lot of days just "hanging out" at home. I NEED those do-nuthin' kinda days in order to feel energized about the things I DO love.
If you look over an entire month, you're still doing a lot, even with many down days. Sometimes I start feeling like all we do is hang out, watch tv, read books, play games etc... and then I look over a whole month and realize we really do neat things. Those are the things I talk about the most, but the majority of our time is spent close to home doing normal things like grocery shopping, gardening etc...
It's too hot here for me to enjoy the out of doors much right now, so we hibernate indoors a LOT.:)
When you come to the list and read from many different families and all the various interests, it's easy to feel like you aren't doing enough. Maybe we should start a "down days at home" thread to balance it out! lol
I use the bubbly interests and busy days as examples of how children learn outside of school, not to show people that we are constantly busy with projects and fun things....that's just not the case around here. Although with four children, there's automatically always SOMETHING going on.:)
Ren
Learn about unschooling at:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/unschoolingbasics/
Valerie
> When you come to the list and read from many different familiesand all the various interests, it's easy to feel like you aren't
doing enough. Maybe we should start a "down days at home" thread to
balance it out! lol
> Ren***** Our down days at home hold some of my most precious memories.
They're the times when I was in the kitchen, the garden or just
reading a book and/or watching movies with Laurie. Lots of down
times in southern Louisiana - it's just too hot to do anything else.
If we had too many days in a row where things had to be done away
from home, Laurie would get grumpy and I'd postpone anything else
that week.
Down days at home are when Laurie learned best in her own way. Her
way of learning was immersion learning and having nothing to
distract her, she was able to dive into whatever she was interested
in and really concentrate.
Even now, when Laurie only has the weekend off, she wants to be
home. Even going out to eat is too much of a production for her. She
wants to be home with no commitments and no plans. Chilling at the
computer or with a book, helping me in the kitchen or .... these
days... packing up her stuff to leave home. :-(
I do have something to cling to. She's already planned all of
these "cool weekends where you come to visit and we just hang out in
my apartment and you cook meals for me." <g> I can't wait.
love, Valerie
www.ubpub.com
Joan Labbe & Salvatore Genovese
"Down days at home are when Laurie learned best in her own way."
My extremely introverted, emotionally intense daughter (5.9) has really
taught me the truth of Valerie's statement above and the value of being
home, not just occasionally, but the vast majority of the time! Following
my dd's lead has meant honoring what is not just a preference, but a need,
for her, to be home. I was so antsy at first, feeling like we "should" be
"doing" more, that I was depriving her somehow by not "getting her out"
etcetera.
But after making myself witness HER and turn away from my internal voices,
and reassessing, I saw that home IS what she wants, it's where she feels
safe and comfortable to explore fully. She has no boredom issues with
staying home all day and night for days on end. (The only issues are my
balancing my own need to get out and my son's requests.) She has an amazing
imagination and interest in everything (spent 30 minutes one morning
pondering the pull cord on the light, how did they MAKE it like that, why
did they make it like that, had so many theories before she even got out of
bed it made my head spin). She gets her exercise on these days by running
races from room to room, jumping, spinning and flipping on the bed for ages
("Mom, come see my tricks on the bed!") She has so many interests, it's
hard to keep track of them all (Ancient Egypt, Dinosaurs, the solar system
about which she asks questions that blow me away, any kind of animal
especially lizards right now and bugs, Dragons) and she explores most of
them from home.
The times she wants to go out are times that she has a focused purpose. For
instance, this summer she is determined to learn to swim on her own without
a vest or arm wings aiding her. She'd love to have a pool here in our yard
so she doesn't have to go far, but since we don't she wants to go out a lot
of days to find a pool. What I find interesting is her personality of
intensity and focus. While this is driving her she wants to spend all day,
every day at the pool. She wakes up in the morning and checks the weather
to see if it's swimming weather. Before swimming took over, she and her
brother were into the Usborne Young Puzzle books - when I say "into" I mean
we not only read all of them, we lived them. She made card and other games
out of the characters, made costumes from her artcart to wear of the
characters, painted the characters, drew the characters with pencil, drew
them on the sidewalk with sidewalk chaulk, taped pieces of paper she drew on
together to make stories about the characters from these books. Etcetera.
When the swimming phase ends, she'll move on to something with equal passion
and intensity. I love that about her, and I've come to see how home is her
safe base where she springs off from, regroups, and decides on the things
that move her out into the world at her own pace and due to her own
interests (unless we are compromising to get her brother and/or me out!).
Today is rainy here so we're home instead of heading to a pool. We spent
the morning creating and performing rescues for my kids' spider man rescue
heroes. Now they're watching Scooby Doo. Little Bear plus my son's new
favorites, "Green Eggs and Ham" on video and Dora's "Pirate Adventure" will
likely get asked for today also. I'd be surprised if they don't want to
re-read two Usborne Young Puzzle Adventure books we got from the library the
other day and who knows where that will lead to. DD and her brother and
cousin turned the last few books into a "play" on the bed, so maybe I'll be
treated to a performance. We'll be trying to glue dd's piggy bank which she
inadvertantly dropped yesterday back together. And dd's been on a painting
spree lately and declared it one of her favorite things right now ... her
cousin was here yesterday and lost her first tooth here at our house (didn't
know they could come out so early, she's just turning 5!) and dd painted her
a picture of Daphne from Scooby to celebrate her tooth coming out.
All in all, we spend the vast majority of our days like this at home, but
I'd hardly call them "down". And in witnessing my dd operate from home,
I've learned to get rid of all those shoulds and celebrate what makes us all
feel good which has been a big step toward joy for all of us.
Joan
My extremely introverted, emotionally intense daughter (5.9) has really
taught me the truth of Valerie's statement above and the value of being
home, not just occasionally, but the vast majority of the time! Following
my dd's lead has meant honoring what is not just a preference, but a need,
for her, to be home. I was so antsy at first, feeling like we "should" be
"doing" more, that I was depriving her somehow by not "getting her out"
etcetera.
But after making myself witness HER and turn away from my internal voices,
and reassessing, I saw that home IS what she wants, it's where she feels
safe and comfortable to explore fully. She has no boredom issues with
staying home all day and night for days on end. (The only issues are my
balancing my own need to get out and my son's requests.) She has an amazing
imagination and interest in everything (spent 30 minutes one morning
pondering the pull cord on the light, how did they MAKE it like that, why
did they make it like that, had so many theories before she even got out of
bed it made my head spin). She gets her exercise on these days by running
races from room to room, jumping, spinning and flipping on the bed for ages
("Mom, come see my tricks on the bed!") She has so many interests, it's
hard to keep track of them all (Ancient Egypt, Dinosaurs, the solar system
about which she asks questions that blow me away, any kind of animal
especially lizards right now and bugs, Dragons) and she explores most of
them from home.
The times she wants to go out are times that she has a focused purpose. For
instance, this summer she is determined to learn to swim on her own without
a vest or arm wings aiding her. She'd love to have a pool here in our yard
so she doesn't have to go far, but since we don't she wants to go out a lot
of days to find a pool. What I find interesting is her personality of
intensity and focus. While this is driving her she wants to spend all day,
every day at the pool. She wakes up in the morning and checks the weather
to see if it's swimming weather. Before swimming took over, she and her
brother were into the Usborne Young Puzzle books - when I say "into" I mean
we not only read all of them, we lived them. She made card and other games
out of the characters, made costumes from her artcart to wear of the
characters, painted the characters, drew the characters with pencil, drew
them on the sidewalk with sidewalk chaulk, taped pieces of paper she drew on
together to make stories about the characters from these books. Etcetera.
When the swimming phase ends, she'll move on to something with equal passion
and intensity. I love that about her, and I've come to see how home is her
safe base where she springs off from, regroups, and decides on the things
that move her out into the world at her own pace and due to her own
interests (unless we are compromising to get her brother and/or me out!).
Today is rainy here so we're home instead of heading to a pool. We spent
the morning creating and performing rescues for my kids' spider man rescue
heroes. Now they're watching Scooby Doo. Little Bear plus my son's new
favorites, "Green Eggs and Ham" on video and Dora's "Pirate Adventure" will
likely get asked for today also. I'd be surprised if they don't want to
re-read two Usborne Young Puzzle Adventure books we got from the library the
other day and who knows where that will lead to. DD and her brother and
cousin turned the last few books into a "play" on the bed, so maybe I'll be
treated to a performance. We'll be trying to glue dd's piggy bank which she
inadvertantly dropped yesterday back together. And dd's been on a painting
spree lately and declared it one of her favorite things right now ... her
cousin was here yesterday and lost her first tooth here at our house (didn't
know they could come out so early, she's just turning 5!) and dd painted her
a picture of Daphne from Scooby to celebrate her tooth coming out.
All in all, we spend the vast majority of our days like this at home, but
I'd hardly call them "down". And in witnessing my dd operate from home,
I've learned to get rid of all those shoulds and celebrate what makes us all
feel good which has been a big step toward joy for all of us.
Joan
Joan Labbe & Salvatore Genovese
Just had to add one more thought that I forgot. It's in reference to all
the talk about it being too hot to go out, which it often is! Here's my
question. If it's not too hot, not too cold, not too rainy, not too
anything, but is 75 degrees, not humid, perfect weather for going out, is it
"bad" or "wrong" or "a waste" to stay inside all day?
I used to feel that it was a waste, that I was somehow "failing" in my duty
as a mother if we didn't get out on such days because there was "no excuse".
But my daughter's personality and her will to stay inside have forced me to
challenge my thinking. What I now think is that what IS a waste is me or
one of my kids sitting at the beach or the playground on a perfect weather
day feeling grumpy because what they WANT is to be home watching that new
exciting video we just got or finishing that pretend game mom interrupted to
get everyone out of the house before the youngest gets too tired or the
traffic coming back will be bad. What is NOT a waste is staying inside and
feeling fulfilled and happy doing what you want and what answers the needs
inside of you even if the weather happens to be "perfect" outside.
Joan
the talk about it being too hot to go out, which it often is! Here's my
question. If it's not too hot, not too cold, not too rainy, not too
anything, but is 75 degrees, not humid, perfect weather for going out, is it
"bad" or "wrong" or "a waste" to stay inside all day?
I used to feel that it was a waste, that I was somehow "failing" in my duty
as a mother if we didn't get out on such days because there was "no excuse".
But my daughter's personality and her will to stay inside have forced me to
challenge my thinking. What I now think is that what IS a waste is me or
one of my kids sitting at the beach or the playground on a perfect weather
day feeling grumpy because what they WANT is to be home watching that new
exciting video we just got or finishing that pretend game mom interrupted to
get everyone out of the house before the youngest gets too tired or the
traffic coming back will be bad. What is NOT a waste is staying inside and
feeling fulfilled and happy doing what you want and what answers the needs
inside of you even if the weather happens to be "perfect" outside.
Joan
Sylvia Toyama
If it's not too hot, not too cold, not too rainy, not too
anything, but is 75 degrees, not humid, perfect weather for going out, is it "bad" or "wrong" or "a waste" to stay inside all day?
*****
I had a hard time with this, too. Growing up, it seemed that unless it was raining buckets, my Mom's deal was to tell us it was 'too nice for kids to be indoors' and shoo us outdoors. We lived in Oklahoma, where it was always too hot and too humid in the summer, and yet there we were out after breakfast and not back until dusk.
My kids will spend hours indoors, where I really need to get physically out of the house -- preferably out in the fresh air and sunshine -- some part of every day. Andy seems to be in an indoors phase of late, so I solve this by either sitting at the patio table or in the driveway where I can watch Dan ride his bike while Andy communes with the TV set.
Syl
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
anything, but is 75 degrees, not humid, perfect weather for going out, is it "bad" or "wrong" or "a waste" to stay inside all day?
*****
I had a hard time with this, too. Growing up, it seemed that unless it was raining buckets, my Mom's deal was to tell us it was 'too nice for kids to be indoors' and shoo us outdoors. We lived in Oklahoma, where it was always too hot and too humid in the summer, and yet there we were out after breakfast and not back until dusk.
My kids will spend hours indoors, where I really need to get physically out of the house -- preferably out in the fresh air and sunshine -- some part of every day. Andy seems to be in an indoors phase of late, so I solve this by either sitting at the patio table or in the driveway where I can watch Dan ride his bike while Andy communes with the TV set.
Syl
---------------------------------
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Yahoo! Mail - 50x more storage than other providers!
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
TreeGoddess
On Jul 28, 2004, at 11:59 AM, Joan Labbe & Salvatore Genovese wrote:
believe that July is almost over! Here in MI it's cold so often that
we look forward to warm weather for most of the year and then once it's
here we stay inside in the AC because it's so dang humid and miserable.
We went to a friend's house last week to sit in the yard and play in
the kiddie pool. It was downright miserable -- ended up being 90+
degrees that day -- and after not that long I told my friend that I
needed to go inside or we'd have to leave because it was torturous to
me. I did think guilty oh-you-baby-get-outside-and-enjoy-Summer but
that thought didn't last too long. LOL
We've had a few cold days here (yesterday was only 61 and raining!) but
today is beautiful. Am I outside? Nope. I'm in the house cooking,
using the computer and cleaning. The kids are using two different TVs
and nobody has asked me to help them get dressed so they can go
outside. Seems like a waste of a day, but we're all enjoying
ourselves. Hmmmm....
-Tracy-
> [What I now think is that what IS a waste is me orI agree, Joan, and I'm still getting over this in my own head. I can't
> one of my kids sitting at the beach or the playground on a perfect
> weather
> day feeling grumpy because what they WANT is to be home watching that
> new
> exciting video we just got or finishing that pretend game mom
> interrupted to
> get everyone out of the house before the youngest gets too tired or the
> traffic coming back will be bad. What is NOT a waste is staying
> inside and
> feeling fulfilled and happy doing what you want and what answers the
> needs
> inside of you even if the weather happens to be "perfect" outside.]
believe that July is almost over! Here in MI it's cold so often that
we look forward to warm weather for most of the year and then once it's
here we stay inside in the AC because it's so dang humid and miserable.
We went to a friend's house last week to sit in the yard and play in
the kiddie pool. It was downright miserable -- ended up being 90+
degrees that day -- and after not that long I told my friend that I
needed to go inside or we'd have to leave because it was torturous to
me. I did think guilty oh-you-baby-get-outside-and-enjoy-Summer but
that thought didn't last too long. LOL
We've had a few cold days here (yesterday was only 61 and raining!) but
today is beautiful. Am I outside? Nope. I'm in the house cooking,
using the computer and cleaning. The kids are using two different TVs
and nobody has asked me to help them get dressed so they can go
outside. Seems like a waste of a day, but we're all enjoying
ourselves. Hmmmm....
-Tracy-
Tina
"Seems like a waste of a day, but we're all enjoying ourselves.
Hmmmm...."
I never really thought about that way of thinking and getting a hold
on it. It really is a frame of mind. If we are doing what we want,
when we want, it really isn't a waste of a day. Cool realization. :)
Tina
Hmmmm...."
I never really thought about that way of thinking and getting a hold
on it. It really is a frame of mind. If we are doing what we want,
when we want, it really isn't a waste of a day. Cool realization. :)
Tina
Sherri-Lee Pressman
Hi Rue,
Thank you for this. I had never thought of it as dabbling believe it or not,
I thought of it as failure and as soon as I realized that I knew it came
from my mom. She didn't believe that you start anything and not finish it,
even if you hated it so much you were bleeding from the eyes. So perhaps
that is why I don't "start" as many things as I would like. interesting.
thanks again for the insight, you guys are just turning on so many light
bulbs for me it is amazing and exciting to see how I can change/reframe how
I see things and move forward!
Sherri-Lee
_____
From: Jon and Rue Kream [mailto:skreams@...]
Sent: Monday, July 26, 2004 9:46 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: RE: [unschoolingbasics] update on our weekend
Hi Sherri-Lee - I'm so glad to hear you're letting yourself get what you
need, and that your daughter's happy, and that your dh left the cave long
enough to make dinner <G>.
mastery I think. Any thoughts?
**I used to feel the same way, and I tried a bunch of things like you
described - knitting and pottery and all sorts of others. Pretty much
anything that crossed my path. I think for me it was part of the process of
opening myself up to having a passion. For a while none of the things I
tried held my interest. But the more things I tried the more I enjoyed
trying things just for the sake of learning even a little bit. Seeing my
kids just jump in and try anything that seemed interesting and dropping it
when it wasn't was very helpful for me.
When jewelry making came along I think I was at just the right place to grab
on and go with it. I had learned that there was value for me in dabbling. I
had learned that becoming proficient in something takes time (I don't think
I'll ever 'master' it. There's always more to learn, and that's a huge part
of the fun.) and I had learned that I wasn't interested in putting that time
into just anything. One day I announced to Jon that I felt ready to find
'the' way to express myself, and very shortly thereafter I found it.
Don't stop dabbling. It's ok if you think scrapbooking is it and then it
collects dust (although in that case I usually hand the supplies over to my
kids :0) ). You won't find 'it' unless you keep that part of yourself open
to seeing it.
Oh, and you might enjoy Ren's creativity e-list. To subscribe send an email
to [email protected]. :0) ~Rue
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Thank you for this. I had never thought of it as dabbling believe it or not,
I thought of it as failure and as soon as I realized that I knew it came
from my mom. She didn't believe that you start anything and not finish it,
even if you hated it so much you were bleeding from the eyes. So perhaps
that is why I don't "start" as many things as I would like. interesting.
thanks again for the insight, you guys are just turning on so many light
bulbs for me it is amazing and exciting to see how I can change/reframe how
I see things and move forward!
Sherri-Lee
_____
From: Jon and Rue Kream [mailto:skreams@...]
Sent: Monday, July 26, 2004 9:46 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: RE: [unschoolingbasics] update on our weekend
Hi Sherri-Lee - I'm so glad to hear you're letting yourself get what you
need, and that your daughter's happy, and that your dh left the cave long
enough to make dinner <G>.
>>I have lots ofinterests, but get stalled in the learning stage, want to go straight to
mastery I think. Any thoughts?
**I used to feel the same way, and I tried a bunch of things like you
described - knitting and pottery and all sorts of others. Pretty much
anything that crossed my path. I think for me it was part of the process of
opening myself up to having a passion. For a while none of the things I
tried held my interest. But the more things I tried the more I enjoyed
trying things just for the sake of learning even a little bit. Seeing my
kids just jump in and try anything that seemed interesting and dropping it
when it wasn't was very helpful for me.
When jewelry making came along I think I was at just the right place to grab
on and go with it. I had learned that there was value for me in dabbling. I
had learned that becoming proficient in something takes time (I don't think
I'll ever 'master' it. There's always more to learn, and that's a huge part
of the fun.) and I had learned that I wasn't interested in putting that time
into just anything. One day I announced to Jon that I felt ready to find
'the' way to express myself, and very shortly thereafter I found it.
Don't stop dabbling. It's ok if you think scrapbooking is it and then it
collects dust (although in that case I usually hand the supplies over to my
kids :0) ). You won't find 'it' unless you keep that part of yourself open
to seeing it.
Oh, and you might enjoy Ren's creativity e-list. To subscribe send an email
to [email protected]. :0) ~Rue
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Syndi
I KNEW there was a reason for needing to read the list today! I had
one of those moms, get outside, its SO nice out! And I went, but
with me, I LOVED being out doors running free all day (summer only of
course, due to ps :(
ANYWAY, I have been saying that to my own boys all summer long!
I'm glad to see mine are not the only ones who enjoy being indoors!
Even though there is an awsome treehouse, a pond, horses, cats, dogs,
chickens and a pool, oh yes, and a sandbox, outside! Oh gosh, now
saying that i'm thinking, whats wrong with these boys!!!! lol !!!!!
DS 11 is getting ready to work on the laptop. Much to his grpas
dismay! I just let him have at it, I"m pretty sure its crashed, and
if it is, we'll reformat and start all over.
Anyone out there been to a truck and tractor pull? If you have,
what do you suppose a kid learns from all that? Been wracking my
brain on this one for a few days. Asking DS 11 , he learned that you
can put a jet engine in a tractor and having fun, wasn't thinking
about what he was learning. But I was thinking of making it an
example to someone who is asking questions about unschooling, since
her son went with us.
Our down days here are mostly TV, movies, pc, LOTS of roll playing
with gi joe. Movie ideas, acting out movies. Reciting movie lines.
And i have to admit, I have those times when I think, I've got to get
them somewhere! to a museum or something! But they are so much
happier when we AREN'T going somewhere, or doing something.
Syndi
one of those moms, get outside, its SO nice out! And I went, but
with me, I LOVED being out doors running free all day (summer only of
course, due to ps :(
ANYWAY, I have been saying that to my own boys all summer long!
I'm glad to see mine are not the only ones who enjoy being indoors!
Even though there is an awsome treehouse, a pond, horses, cats, dogs,
chickens and a pool, oh yes, and a sandbox, outside! Oh gosh, now
saying that i'm thinking, whats wrong with these boys!!!! lol !!!!!
DS 11 is getting ready to work on the laptop. Much to his grpas
dismay! I just let him have at it, I"m pretty sure its crashed, and
if it is, we'll reformat and start all over.
Anyone out there been to a truck and tractor pull? If you have,
what do you suppose a kid learns from all that? Been wracking my
brain on this one for a few days. Asking DS 11 , he learned that you
can put a jet engine in a tractor and having fun, wasn't thinking
about what he was learning. But I was thinking of making it an
example to someone who is asking questions about unschooling, since
her son went with us.
Our down days here are mostly TV, movies, pc, LOTS of roll playing
with gi joe. Movie ideas, acting out movies. Reciting movie lines.
And i have to admit, I have those times when I think, I've got to get
them somewhere! to a museum or something! But they are so much
happier when we AREN'T going somewhere, or doing something.
Syndi
Kelli Traaseth
Syndi <justlikemama@...> wrote:
***Anyone out there been to a truck and tractor pull***
Yes.
***what do you suppose a kid learns from all that?***
History-- farms, farming equipment.
How about science -- pullies, force, engine power, mechanics.
I know with most of the tractor pulls we've been to, the people who are doing it all know how to service, build and rebuild their tractors. What a great thing to show and share with a kid. Here are these people totally excited about their equipment that they sometimes use in their line of work and it is also their hobby! How cool and great examples for our children.
***But they are so much
happier when we AREN'T going somewhere, or doing something. ***
But I had to point out, they are doing something <g>
** work on the laptop,,,,TV, movies, pc, LOTS of roll playing
with gi joe. Movie ideas, acting out movies. Reciting movie lines. **
Pheww,, what a busy day! :)
Kelli~
---------------------------------
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
***Anyone out there been to a truck and tractor pull***
Yes.
***what do you suppose a kid learns from all that?***
History-- farms, farming equipment.
How about science -- pullies, force, engine power, mechanics.
I know with most of the tractor pulls we've been to, the people who are doing it all know how to service, build and rebuild their tractors. What a great thing to show and share with a kid. Here are these people totally excited about their equipment that they sometimes use in their line of work and it is also their hobby! How cool and great examples for our children.
***But they are so much
happier when we AREN'T going somewhere, or doing something. ***
But I had to point out, they are doing something <g>
** work on the laptop,,,,TV, movies, pc, LOTS of roll playing
with gi joe. Movie ideas, acting out movies. Reciting movie lines. **
Pheww,, what a busy day! :)
Kelli~
---------------------------------
Do you Yahoo!?
Yahoo! Mail Address AutoComplete - You start. We finish.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Ren
"thanks again for the insight, you guys are just turning on so many light
bulbs for me it is amazing and exciting to see how I can change/reframe how
I see things and move forward!"
I have really enjoyed reading about the lightbulbs coming on for you. Thanks for sharing your journey here!:)
Ren
Learn about unschooling at:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/unschoolingbasics/
bulbs for me it is amazing and exciting to see how I can change/reframe how
I see things and move forward!"
I have really enjoyed reading about the lightbulbs coming on for you. Thanks for sharing your journey here!:)
Ren
Learn about unschooling at:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/unschoolingbasics/
Syndi
[email protected]
In a message dated 7/28/2004 8:58:22 PM Eastern Daylight Time,
sherri--lee@... writes:
I had never thought of it as dabbling believe it or not,
I thought of it as failure and as soon as I realized that I knew it came
from my mom. She didn't believe that you start anything and not finish it,
even if you hated it so much you were bleeding from the eyes. So perhaps
that is why I don't "start" as many things as I would like. interesting.
thanks again for the insight, you guys are just turning on so many light
bulbs for me it is amazing and exciting to see how I can change/reframe how
I see things and move forward!
<<<<<
I have a few things (48) in my "want to respond to" bo, and I'm now just
catching up.
Better late than never? <g>
The above is a good reminder when we insist on making our children finish
what they start----they may start refusing to start *anything*.
Much better to "go with the fow" and let them quit when they're done. The
money spent isn't nearly as important as the feelings involved and your
relationship with your child.
~Kelly
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
sherri--lee@... writes:
I had never thought of it as dabbling believe it or not,
I thought of it as failure and as soon as I realized that I knew it came
from my mom. She didn't believe that you start anything and not finish it,
even if you hated it so much you were bleeding from the eyes. So perhaps
that is why I don't "start" as many things as I would like. interesting.
thanks again for the insight, you guys are just turning on so many light
bulbs for me it is amazing and exciting to see how I can change/reframe how
I see things and move forward!
<<<<<
I have a few things (48) in my "want to respond to" bo, and I'm now just
catching up.
Better late than never? <g>
The above is a good reminder when we insist on making our children finish
what they start----they may start refusing to start *anything*.
Much better to "go with the fow" and let them quit when they're done. The
money spent isn't nearly as important as the feelings involved and your
relationship with your child.
~Kelly
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Sherri-Lee Pressman
OH Kelly,
So right you are. I just realized, that so often something appeals to me and
I think I will just do it and then I say. nope I will wait and see if I am
still interested in it in 1 month or 6 months or a year and if I am then it
is a "real" interest and I probably won't give it up and so can justify
starting it. Because I have always felt so interested in SO many things! So
many I thought there was something wrong with me for not having one or two
interests. WOW. thank you!!!
So my next question would be how do I start giving myself permission to just
DO something that intrigues me without proof of my long term interest?
Sherri-Lee
_____
From: kbcdlovejo@... [mailto:kbcdlovejo@...]
Sent: Thursday, August 05, 2004 3:52 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: [unschoolingbasics] update on our weekend
In a message dated 7/28/2004 8:58:22 PM Eastern Daylight Time,
sherri--lee@... writes:
I had never thought of it as dabbling believe it or not,
I thought of it as failure and as soon as I realized that I knew it came
from my mom. She didn't believe that you start anything and not finish it,
even if you hated it so much you were bleeding from the eyes. So perhaps
that is why I don't "start" as many things as I would like. interesting.
thanks again for the insight, you guys are just turning on so many light
bulbs for me it is amazing and exciting to see how I can change/reframe how
I see things and move forward!
<<<<<
I have a few things (48) in my "want to respond to" bo, and I'm now just
catching up.
Better late than never? <g>
The above is a good reminder when we insist on making our children finish
what they start----they may start refusing to start *anything*.
Much better to "go with the fow" and let them quit when they're done. The
money spent isn't nearly as important as the feelings involved and your
relationship with your child.
~Kelly
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
So right you are. I just realized, that so often something appeals to me and
I think I will just do it and then I say. nope I will wait and see if I am
still interested in it in 1 month or 6 months or a year and if I am then it
is a "real" interest and I probably won't give it up and so can justify
starting it. Because I have always felt so interested in SO many things! So
many I thought there was something wrong with me for not having one or two
interests. WOW. thank you!!!
So my next question would be how do I start giving myself permission to just
DO something that intrigues me without proof of my long term interest?
Sherri-Lee
_____
From: kbcdlovejo@... [mailto:kbcdlovejo@...]
Sent: Thursday, August 05, 2004 3:52 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: [unschoolingbasics] update on our weekend
In a message dated 7/28/2004 8:58:22 PM Eastern Daylight Time,
sherri--lee@... writes:
I had never thought of it as dabbling believe it or not,
I thought of it as failure and as soon as I realized that I knew it came
from my mom. She didn't believe that you start anything and not finish it,
even if you hated it so much you were bleeding from the eyes. So perhaps
that is why I don't "start" as many things as I would like. interesting.
thanks again for the insight, you guys are just turning on so many light
bulbs for me it is amazing and exciting to see how I can change/reframe how
I see things and move forward!
<<<<<
I have a few things (48) in my "want to respond to" bo, and I'm now just
catching up.
Better late than never? <g>
The above is a good reminder when we insist on making our children finish
what they start----they may start refusing to start *anything*.
Much better to "go with the fow" and let them quit when they're done. The
money spent isn't nearly as important as the feelings involved and your
relationship with your child.
~Kelly
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Yahoo! Groups Sponsor
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