tell me I did ok today...
Sherri-Lee Pressman
Hi there,
I hope someone will be able to tell me I did ok. I am struggling with some
guilt over this.
We are having a HUGE heat wave for us. It has been in the high 30's all week
and I am 6 months pregnant. I have managed fairly well so far but yesterday
and today were brutal. I just had no energy and really could not face
another day of the sun beating down on us. I have been taking dd to the
lake, water parks and to daily soccer all week. Today I took her to her
swimming lesson early on and then we went out to the mall for a bite to eat
and some cool time.
We got home around 1 and I was just to tired and beaten by the heat, all I
wanted to do was sit and veg, watch TV or be on the computer or nap. My dh
is useless in the heat and has spent the better part of the last 3 days in
his music room where it is cool and we have barely seen him, so I have felt
like providing everything for my dd has fallen on me. And I thought I did
pretty good until today, but I was just done in.
So we got home and I turned on the TV for her to her station (kids cartoons
all the time) and she has sat and watched that happily, then she spent 3
hours on the Polly Pocket website (thank you to whoever posted that URL, we
just visited it yesterday and I have a little addict on my hands, I can't
believe how much she has learned to do on the computer in two days!) and
then more TV. It will be bedtime soon, and then we will read some stories.
I just feel like I have let her down, like I should have taken her to a
water park or to the lake or something to play and be outside in the nice
weather and in the water to cool down. I think I hear my mom saying that on
nice days you should be outside, which I guess I agree with, but sometimes
it is just too hot to be outside right?
So I guess I just need some support that having such a passive day is ok.
she doesn't seem unhappy, we have not had a fight, she has eaten well and I
think she might have learned some things. If she was bored we would have had
less contentment and more agitation I think.
Anyway, thanks for listening I guess I needed to just get it out and if
anyone has anything to say I am happy to listen to it,
Sherri-Lee
Need safe and natural health products?
http://www.aloeessence.com
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
I hope someone will be able to tell me I did ok. I am struggling with some
guilt over this.
We are having a HUGE heat wave for us. It has been in the high 30's all week
and I am 6 months pregnant. I have managed fairly well so far but yesterday
and today were brutal. I just had no energy and really could not face
another day of the sun beating down on us. I have been taking dd to the
lake, water parks and to daily soccer all week. Today I took her to her
swimming lesson early on and then we went out to the mall for a bite to eat
and some cool time.
We got home around 1 and I was just to tired and beaten by the heat, all I
wanted to do was sit and veg, watch TV or be on the computer or nap. My dh
is useless in the heat and has spent the better part of the last 3 days in
his music room where it is cool and we have barely seen him, so I have felt
like providing everything for my dd has fallen on me. And I thought I did
pretty good until today, but I was just done in.
So we got home and I turned on the TV for her to her station (kids cartoons
all the time) and she has sat and watched that happily, then she spent 3
hours on the Polly Pocket website (thank you to whoever posted that URL, we
just visited it yesterday and I have a little addict on my hands, I can't
believe how much she has learned to do on the computer in two days!) and
then more TV. It will be bedtime soon, and then we will read some stories.
I just feel like I have let her down, like I should have taken her to a
water park or to the lake or something to play and be outside in the nice
weather and in the water to cool down. I think I hear my mom saying that on
nice days you should be outside, which I guess I agree with, but sometimes
it is just too hot to be outside right?
So I guess I just need some support that having such a passive day is ok.
she doesn't seem unhappy, we have not had a fight, she has eaten well and I
think she might have learned some things. If she was bored we would have had
less contentment and more agitation I think.
Anyway, thanks for listening I guess I needed to just get it out and if
anyone has anything to say I am happy to listen to it,
Sherri-Lee
Need safe and natural health products?
http://www.aloeessence.com
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Jon and Rue Kream
>>I think I hear my mom saying that onnice days you should be outside,
**Hi Sherri-Lee - You can't stop your mother from saying things irl, but you
don't have to let her talk in your head <g>. There's nothing inherently
better about being outside on a hot day. Your day didn't sound 'passive'
to me. It sounds like you had a fun, connected day together, and you were
both happy with what you were doing. What's more important than that?
I think getting rid of the 'shoulds' goes a long way towards living a joyful
life.
>>My dhis useless in the heat
**I don't mean to sound harsh, but more useless than a woman who's six
months pregnant and spends the majority of her time caring for a young
child? Have you asked him for some help in finding ways that you can get
some rest?
Oh, and you did ok today :0). ~Rue
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Wendy E
What a BEAUTIFUL day it sounds like you had Sherri-Lee. If she was
content and doing things she enjoyed that is great! Remember, she
is affected by the heat too...I think we all do a little better on
days like this if we just take it easy. Especially if we are 6 mo
pregnant! You are doing great! Oh, btw, you said something about
feeling guilty about not taking her out in the nice weather...it
wasn't that nice! Grueling heat can make for a cranky mommy and a
cranky kid....even a the waterpark! We have had quite a few LAZY
days of summer around here too. Lots of movies and computer time.
Anyway...sit down, put your feet up and pat yourself on the back (or
the tummy)...IMO, you did good.
Wendy
--- In [email protected], Sherri-Lee Pressman
<sherri--lee@s...> wrote:
content and doing things she enjoyed that is great! Remember, she
is affected by the heat too...I think we all do a little better on
days like this if we just take it easy. Especially if we are 6 mo
pregnant! You are doing great! Oh, btw, you said something about
feeling guilty about not taking her out in the nice weather...it
wasn't that nice! Grueling heat can make for a cranky mommy and a
cranky kid....even a the waterpark! We have had quite a few LAZY
days of summer around here too. Lots of movies and computer time.
Anyway...sit down, put your feet up and pat yourself on the back (or
the tummy)...IMO, you did good.
Wendy
--- In [email protected], Sherri-Lee Pressman
<sherri--lee@s...> wrote:
> Hi there,with some
>
>
>
> I hope someone will be able to tell me I did ok. I am struggling
> guilt over this.
>
>
Robyn Coburn
<<<I think I hear my mom saying that on
nice days you should be outside, which I guess I agree with, but sometimes
it is just too hot to be outside right?>>>
You bet it is! And if you were uncomfortably hot, maybe dd was also.
I kept waiting to read about the disaster that ensued - and then none did.
Re-read your own post describing a delightful day with a great positive
result for dd, and feel better. Sometimes a quiet day at home is exactly
what is needed to balance lots of time out and about.
The only issue I saw, is that you seem to have a bit of resentment creeping
up on you about being left with all the responsibility while dh is dodging
it and staying comfortable. My experience with that is that resentment is a
fast growing insidious critter, and best brought out while small before it
explodes out of its cage full grown. Just a little thought.
Robyn L. Coburn
---
Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free.
Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com).
Version: 6.0.726 / Virus Database: 481 - Release Date: 7/22/2004
nice days you should be outside, which I guess I agree with, but sometimes
it is just too hot to be outside right?>>>
You bet it is! And if you were uncomfortably hot, maybe dd was also.
I kept waiting to read about the disaster that ensued - and then none did.
Re-read your own post describing a delightful day with a great positive
result for dd, and feel better. Sometimes a quiet day at home is exactly
what is needed to balance lots of time out and about.
The only issue I saw, is that you seem to have a bit of resentment creeping
up on you about being left with all the responsibility while dh is dodging
it and staying comfortable. My experience with that is that resentment is a
fast growing insidious critter, and best brought out while small before it
explodes out of its cage full grown. Just a little thought.
Robyn L. Coburn
---
Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free.
Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com).
Version: 6.0.726 / Virus Database: 481 - Release Date: 7/22/2004
Wendy E
I also noticed this...
It might be a good idea to talk and come to terms with this now
since you will be wanting and needing more support once that new
baby comes. Hope you have a wonderfully lazy day again tomorrow!
Wendy
--- In [email protected], "Robyn Coburn"
<dezigna@c...> wrote:
It might be a good idea to talk and come to terms with this now
since you will be wanting and needing more support once that new
baby comes. Hope you have a wonderfully lazy day again tomorrow!
Wendy
--- In [email protected], "Robyn Coburn"
<dezigna@c...> wrote:
> The only issue I saw, is that you seem to have a bit of resentmentcreeping
> up on you about being left with all the responsibility while dh isdodging
> it and staying comfortable. My experience with that is thatresentment is a
> fast growing insidious critter, and best brought out while smallbefore it
> explodes out of its cage full grown. Just a little thought.
>
> Robyn L. Coburn
eriksmama2001
I am exhausted just hearing about your day. lol. Wow. Supermom. Wow.
Please give yourself a break mentally, physically, emotionally.
The most important lesson I have learned as a parent is that I need
to take care of myself before I can take care of anyone else.
'You can't serve soup from an empty pot.'
I have found that my son will resist going and doing when we have
done too much out-of-the-house play or activities. My "Waldorf"
friend maintains that all of that stuff is overstimulating to
children before age 10 or so. I fall closer to your side of the
fence. We go and do alot. But I do see how my son needs time to
process the activities and incorporate our outings in his play IF he
has non-structured, uninterrupted time to play. So, I purposefully
provide this for him.
When it is hot, I try to do outings early. Then we come home to
reflect and process and re-center ourselves in our familiar
environment. One can only learn in a non-threatening environment and
the world has a lot of unfamiliar and disruptive activity. Even at
the playground, I see that he gets upset when mothers are not
responding to their crying babies immediately. Or when he sees others
yelling or pushing at the pool or park. We discuss these thing at the
time but they are "play acted" at home: "mama is going to take care
of the baby", "please don't take that from my hands", etc. He
processes the important parts of his day in his play. This allows him
to get a handle on the outside world.
Home is a safe place to practice. Home is just as important as the
world. More important, even?
Pat
--- In [email protected], Sherri-Lee Pressman <sherri-
-lee@s...> wrote:
Please give yourself a break mentally, physically, emotionally.
The most important lesson I have learned as a parent is that I need
to take care of myself before I can take care of anyone else.
'You can't serve soup from an empty pot.'
I have found that my son will resist going and doing when we have
done too much out-of-the-house play or activities. My "Waldorf"
friend maintains that all of that stuff is overstimulating to
children before age 10 or so. I fall closer to your side of the
fence. We go and do alot. But I do see how my son needs time to
process the activities and incorporate our outings in his play IF he
has non-structured, uninterrupted time to play. So, I purposefully
provide this for him.
When it is hot, I try to do outings early. Then we come home to
reflect and process and re-center ourselves in our familiar
environment. One can only learn in a non-threatening environment and
the world has a lot of unfamiliar and disruptive activity. Even at
the playground, I see that he gets upset when mothers are not
responding to their crying babies immediately. Or when he sees others
yelling or pushing at the pool or park. We discuss these thing at the
time but they are "play acted" at home: "mama is going to take care
of the baby", "please don't take that from my hands", etc. He
processes the important parts of his day in his play. This allows him
to get a handle on the outside world.
Home is a safe place to practice. Home is just as important as the
world. More important, even?
Pat
--- In [email protected], Sherri-Lee Pressman <sherri-
-lee@s...> wrote:
> Hi there,with some
>
>
>
> I hope someone will be able to tell me I did ok. I am struggling
> guilt over this.all week
>
>
>
> We are having a HUGE heat wave for us. It has been in the high 30's
> and I am 6 months pregnant. I have managed fairly well so far butyesterday
> and today were brutal. I just had no energy and really could notface
> another day of the sun beating down on us. I have been taking dd tothe
> lake, water parks and to daily soccer all week. Today I took her toher
> swimming lesson early on and then we went out to the mall for abite to eat
> and some cool time.heat, all I
>
>
>
> We got home around 1 and I was just to tired and beaten by the
> wanted to do was sit and veg, watch TV or be on the computer ornap. My dh
> is useless in the heat and has spent the better part of the last 3days in
> his music room where it is cool and we have barely seen him, so Ihave felt
> like providing everything for my dd has fallen on me. And I thoughtI did
> pretty good until today, but I was just done in.cartoons
>
>
>
> So we got home and I turned on the TV for her to her station (kids
> all the time) and she has sat and watched that happily, then shespent 3
> hours on the Polly Pocket website (thank you to whoever posted thatURL, we
> just visited it yesterday and I have a little addict on my hands, Ican't
> believe how much she has learned to do on the computer in twodays!) and
> then more TV. It will be bedtime soon, and then we will read somestories.
>to a
>
> I just feel like I have let her down, like I should have taken her
> water park or to the lake or something to play and be outside inthe nice
> weather and in the water to cool down. I think I hear my mom sayingthat on
> nice days you should be outside, which I guess I agree with, butsometimes
> it is just too hot to be outside right?is ok.
>
>
> So I guess I just need some support that having such a passive day
> she doesn't seem unhappy, we have not had a fight, she has eatenwell and I
> think she might have learned some things. If she was bored we wouldhave had
> less contentment and more agitation I think.and if
>
>
>
> Anyway, thanks for listening I guess I needed to just get it out
> anyone has anything to say I am happy to listen to it,
>
>
>
> Sherri-Lee
>
> Need safe and natural health products?
>
> http://www.aloeessence.com
>
>
>
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
eriksmama2001
Yes, what are your expectations of yourself once the baby is born? I
agree: no "shoulds". Do your best but don't scold yourself for being
human. Celebrate that we are a species that can help each other. Ask
for help. Accept help. These were very hard for me to learn. It does
not diminish your abilities to accept another's assistance. Part of
parenting is learning interdependence.
The baby will require mama, basically exclusively. Round up help now
for respite for yourself. Your husband is part of this calvary. He
can be your hero. Let him know how to help. Usually, my husband just
doesn't read my mind. I just don't understand this problem. lol. lol.
He wants to help. He also wants to do whatever he finds fun. It is
challenging but better than burning yourself out. Then it is really
hard to find solutions.
P.S. Sleep as much as possible.
Pat
--- In [email protected], "Wendy E" <mommytoluc@y...>
wrote:
agree: no "shoulds". Do your best but don't scold yourself for being
human. Celebrate that we are a species that can help each other. Ask
for help. Accept help. These were very hard for me to learn. It does
not diminish your abilities to accept another's assistance. Part of
parenting is learning interdependence.
The baby will require mama, basically exclusively. Round up help now
for respite for yourself. Your husband is part of this calvary. He
can be your hero. Let him know how to help. Usually, my husband just
doesn't read my mind. I just don't understand this problem. lol. lol.
He wants to help. He also wants to do whatever he finds fun. It is
challenging but better than burning yourself out. Then it is really
hard to find solutions.
P.S. Sleep as much as possible.
Pat
--- In [email protected], "Wendy E" <mommytoluc@y...>
wrote:
> I also noticed this...resentment
> It might be a good idea to talk and come to terms with this now
> since you will be wanting and needing more support once that new
> baby comes. Hope you have a wonderfully lazy day again tomorrow!
>
> Wendy
>
>
> --- In [email protected], "Robyn Coburn"
> <dezigna@c...> wrote:
> > The only issue I saw, is that you seem to have a bit of
> creepingis
> > up on you about being left with all the responsibility while dh
> dodging
> > it and staying comfortable. My experience with that is that
> resentment is a
> > fast growing insidious critter, and best brought out while small
> before it
> > explodes out of its cage full grown. Just a little thought.
> >
> > Robyn L. Coburn
unschooling1
If you've been out a lot of days, it's great to have a quiet indoor
day!
Also, some people love to be out in hot weather, swimming and doing
other outdoor activities. I'm not one of those people. I really
feel ill if it's extremely hot. When it's cool or even cold, that's
when I want to be outside walking, going to the playground, or even
swimming. Our pool here stayed open through November last year, and
my dd and I were often the only ones there. It's so invigorating to
me! The other day we were at the pool in hot weather, and I heard
someone complain about how cold the water was. I and a few other
people looked at him in disbelief. People are different!
-Christy
day!
Also, some people love to be out in hot weather, swimming and doing
other outdoor activities. I'm not one of those people. I really
feel ill if it's extremely hot. When it's cool or even cold, that's
when I want to be outside walking, going to the playground, or even
swimming. Our pool here stayed open through November last year, and
my dd and I were often the only ones there. It's so invigorating to
me! The other day we were at the pool in hot weather, and I heard
someone complain about how cold the water was. I and a few other
people looked at him in disbelief. People are different!
-Christy
Kelli Traaseth
Sherri-Lee Pressman <sherri--lee@...> wrote:
***I hope someone will be able to tell me I did ok.***
You did great!
It sounds like you guys had a great day.
I think people have to keep in mind that extreme temperatures are just the same on both sides of the 0 (zero). Ya know? If it were way below 0 we wouldn't be outside either. (Well, I wouldn't be, anyway.)
This same thing came up this last week with me. We have just recently moved and were back in that town to mow and take care of the house we're trying to sell. My ds wanted to invite a friend over to play a new video game he just got. Sounded good to me, it was over 90 degrees F and very humid.
My son comes back home and reports that his friend has to play outside. Not only is this child never allowed to do what he wants, he also can't be playing where he wants. :(
These parents believe kids should be outside playing. No matter what the temperature.
Where are the parents? Inside the cool house.
ARGH.
Anyway,,there's nothing wrong with spending a day at home--relaxing, watching TV, playing on the computer. We choose to have lots of those days!
Kelli~
Hi there,
I hope someone will be able to tell me I did ok. I am struggling with some
guilt over this.
We are having a HUGE heat wave for us. It has been in the high 30's all week
and I am 6 months pregnant. I have managed fairly well so far but yesterday
and today were brutal. I just had no energy and really could not face
another day of the sun beating down on us. I have been taking dd to the
lake, water parks and to daily soccer all week. Today I took her to her
swimming lesson early on and then we went out to the mall for a bite to eat
and some cool time.
---------------------------------
Do you Yahoo!?
Yahoo! Mail - You care about security. So do we.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
***I hope someone will be able to tell me I did ok.***
You did great!
It sounds like you guys had a great day.
I think people have to keep in mind that extreme temperatures are just the same on both sides of the 0 (zero). Ya know? If it were way below 0 we wouldn't be outside either. (Well, I wouldn't be, anyway.)
This same thing came up this last week with me. We have just recently moved and were back in that town to mow and take care of the house we're trying to sell. My ds wanted to invite a friend over to play a new video game he just got. Sounded good to me, it was over 90 degrees F and very humid.
My son comes back home and reports that his friend has to play outside. Not only is this child never allowed to do what he wants, he also can't be playing where he wants. :(
These parents believe kids should be outside playing. No matter what the temperature.
Where are the parents? Inside the cool house.
ARGH.
Anyway,,there's nothing wrong with spending a day at home--relaxing, watching TV, playing on the computer. We choose to have lots of those days!
Kelli~
Hi there,
I hope someone will be able to tell me I did ok. I am struggling with some
guilt over this.
We are having a HUGE heat wave for us. It has been in the high 30's all week
and I am 6 months pregnant. I have managed fairly well so far but yesterday
and today were brutal. I just had no energy and really could not face
another day of the sun beating down on us. I have been taking dd to the
lake, water parks and to daily soccer all week. Today I took her to her
swimming lesson early on and then we went out to the mall for a bite to eat
and some cool time.
---------------------------------
Do you Yahoo!?
Yahoo! Mail - You care about security. So do we.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Dana Matt
> I just feel like I have let her down, like I shouldYikes! So you go running around every day?!?! Ugh!
> have taken her to a
> water park or to the lake or something to play and
> be outside in the nice
> weather and in the water to cool down. I think I
> hear my mom saying that on
> nice days you should be outside, which I guess I
> agree with, but sometimes
> it is just too hot to be outside right?
I seldom leave my house in the summer--unless it's to
go somewhere COOL, and NEVER if it's over 90. I think
your husband has the right idea--maybe you are useless
in the sun as well but he doesn't have your mother's
voice ringing in his ears? STAY HOME AND LIKE IT!!
:)
Dana
in MOntana
__________________________________
Do you Yahoo!?
Yahoo! Mail Address AutoComplete - You start. We finish.
http://promotions.yahoo.com/new_mail
Sherri-Lee Pressman
Wendy,
Thank you! I needed to hear that and reaffirm that going with my instincts
on this yesterday was ok.
Sherri-Lee
_____
From: Wendy E [mailto:mommytoluc@...]
Sent: Saturday, July 24, 2004 8:58 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] Re: tell me I did ok today...
What a BEAUTIFUL day it sounds like you had Sherri-Lee. If she was
content and doing things she enjoyed that is great! Remember, she
is affected by the heat too...I think we all do a little better on
days like this if we just take it easy. Especially if we are 6 mo
pregnant! You are doing great! Oh, btw, you said something about
feeling guilty about not taking her out in the nice weather...it
wasn't that nice! Grueling heat can make for a cranky mommy and a
cranky kid....even a the waterpark! We have had quite a few LAZY
days of summer around here too. Lots of movies and computer time.
Anyway...sit down, put your feet up and pat yourself on the back (or
the tummy)...IMO, you did good.
Wendy
--- In [email protected], Sherri-Lee Pressman
<sherri--lee@s...> wrote:
ADVERTISEMENT
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Thank you! I needed to hear that and reaffirm that going with my instincts
on this yesterday was ok.
Sherri-Lee
_____
From: Wendy E [mailto:mommytoluc@...]
Sent: Saturday, July 24, 2004 8:58 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] Re: tell me I did ok today...
What a BEAUTIFUL day it sounds like you had Sherri-Lee. If she was
content and doing things she enjoyed that is great! Remember, she
is affected by the heat too...I think we all do a little better on
days like this if we just take it easy. Especially if we are 6 mo
pregnant! You are doing great! Oh, btw, you said something about
feeling guilty about not taking her out in the nice weather...it
wasn't that nice! Grueling heat can make for a cranky mommy and a
cranky kid....even a the waterpark! We have had quite a few LAZY
days of summer around here too. Lots of movies and computer time.
Anyway...sit down, put your feet up and pat yourself on the back (or
the tummy)...IMO, you did good.
Wendy
--- In [email protected], Sherri-Lee Pressman
<sherri--lee@s...> wrote:
> Hi there,with some
>
>
>
> I hope someone will be able to tell me I did ok. I am struggling
> guilt over this.Yahoo! Groups Sponsor
>
>
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oups/S=1705081972:HM/EXP=1090814269/A=2128215/R=0/SIG=10se96mf6/*http:/compa
nion.yahoo.com> click here
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Sherri-Lee Pressman
Hi Robyn,
Yes I think after the week we had a quiet day at home fit the bill. She sure
didn't complain, we didn't fight or argue and she didn't ask to do more than
she was. So I guess I should just see the obvious and be done with it right?
Thank you.
I have had some real strong issues regarding resentment towards my dh
especially since my dd has been born. He is much better at taking care of
himself than I am. I often feel that he does it to the exclusion of others
without thinking about his responsibility to his family (her mostly). He
will go for a nap and not think about how his daughter will spend time on
her own while he is in another room. He won't do anything to set her up
except turn on the TV and I guess that is my issue with thinking she needs
to have more activity than that and that he is somehow selfish to put
himself first over playing with her.... hmmmmm... might be something more
for me to think about there. Ok... thank you for helping me to think about
that,
Sherri-Lee
-----Original Message-----
From: Robyn Coburn [mailto:dezigna@...]
Sent: Saturday, July 24, 2004 10:51 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: RE: [unschoolingbasics] tell me I did ok today...
<<<I think I hear my mom saying that on
nice days you should be outside, which I guess I agree with, but sometimes
it is just too hot to be outside right?>>>
You bet it is! And if you were uncomfortably hot, maybe dd was also.
I kept waiting to read about the disaster that ensued - and then none did.
Re-read your own post describing a delightful day with a great positive
result for dd, and feel better. Sometimes a quiet day at home is exactly
what is needed to balance lots of time out and about.
The only issue I saw, is that you seem to have a bit of resentment creeping
up on you about being left with all the responsibility while dh is dodging
it and staying comfortable. My experience with that is that resentment is a
fast growing insidious critter, and best brought out while small before it
explodes out of its cage full grown. Just a little thought.
Robyn L. Coburn
---
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Yahoo! Groups Links
Yes I think after the week we had a quiet day at home fit the bill. She sure
didn't complain, we didn't fight or argue and she didn't ask to do more than
she was. So I guess I should just see the obvious and be done with it right?
Thank you.
I have had some real strong issues regarding resentment towards my dh
especially since my dd has been born. He is much better at taking care of
himself than I am. I often feel that he does it to the exclusion of others
without thinking about his responsibility to his family (her mostly). He
will go for a nap and not think about how his daughter will spend time on
her own while he is in another room. He won't do anything to set her up
except turn on the TV and I guess that is my issue with thinking she needs
to have more activity than that and that he is somehow selfish to put
himself first over playing with her.... hmmmmm... might be something more
for me to think about there. Ok... thank you for helping me to think about
that,
Sherri-Lee
-----Original Message-----
From: Robyn Coburn [mailto:dezigna@...]
Sent: Saturday, July 24, 2004 10:51 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: RE: [unschoolingbasics] tell me I did ok today...
<<<I think I hear my mom saying that on
nice days you should be outside, which I guess I agree with, but sometimes
it is just too hot to be outside right?>>>
You bet it is! And if you were uncomfortably hot, maybe dd was also.
I kept waiting to read about the disaster that ensued - and then none did.
Re-read your own post describing a delightful day with a great positive
result for dd, and feel better. Sometimes a quiet day at home is exactly
what is needed to balance lots of time out and about.
The only issue I saw, is that you seem to have a bit of resentment creeping
up on you about being left with all the responsibility while dh is dodging
it and staying comfortable. My experience with that is that resentment is a
fast growing insidious critter, and best brought out while small before it
explodes out of its cage full grown. Just a little thought.
Robyn L. Coburn
---
Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free.
Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com).
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Yahoo! Groups Links
Sherri-Lee Pressman
HI Rue,
Thanks for this. I appreciate hearing from more seasoned unschoolers that
the day wasn't a waste. And that is how my knee jerk reaction sees it so I
will work on that.
I do need to get rid of the "shoulds" around some parenting issues yes, and
my mom does need to get out of my head. She is so much more out now than
ever, so I am making headway:-) but still have a way to go. She was a very
powerful figure in my life that was extremely critical and impossible for me
to please her. And being who I am, that is the person who's approval I have
spent the most time trying to get. It has never worked. As I learned a while
ago, she does not see herself as having value, so she can not look at me,
who came from her body as having value. She also has a lot of issues with
the fact that my 3 older siblings were adopted and then I came along as a
surprise. I have always been under the 8 ball to apologize for my existence,
like I didn't deserve to intrude on how great things were and have always
been the outsider. So getting those messages out of my head are extremely
important and difficult.
As to the "useless" comment. hmmm. more useless than a 6 month pregnant
woman who spends her time taking care of a 4 year old? Yes I would say he is
sometimes. He doesn't take care of the 4 year old when we are both tired or
hot, I suck it up and do what needs to be done and he retreats. I have asked
him, and most of the time he is wonderful and helpful and willing to try to
do anything to help me out and make me happy, sometimes (like the last week)
he retreats into his cave and acts like a hungry bear whenever disturbed.
Very difficult to live with.
Anyway, thank you for your thoughts and insight, it has helped me get some
clarity.
Sherri-Lee
_____
From: Jon and Rue Kream [mailto:skreams@...]
Sent: Saturday, July 24, 2004 8:45 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: RE: [unschoolingbasics] tell me I did ok today...
**Hi Sherri-Lee - You can't stop your mother from saying things irl, but you
don't have to let her talk in your head <g>. There's nothing inherently
better about being outside on a hot day. Your day didn't sound 'passive'
to me. It sounds like you had a fun, connected day together, and you were
both happy with what you were doing. What's more important than that?
I think getting rid of the 'shoulds' goes a long way towards living a joyful
life.
**I don't mean to sound harsh, but more useless than a woman who's six
months pregnant and spends the majority of her time caring for a young
child? Have you asked him for some help in finding ways that you can get
some rest?
Oh, and you did ok today :0). ~Rue
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
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Thanks for this. I appreciate hearing from more seasoned unschoolers that
the day wasn't a waste. And that is how my knee jerk reaction sees it so I
will work on that.
I do need to get rid of the "shoulds" around some parenting issues yes, and
my mom does need to get out of my head. She is so much more out now than
ever, so I am making headway:-) but still have a way to go. She was a very
powerful figure in my life that was extremely critical and impossible for me
to please her. And being who I am, that is the person who's approval I have
spent the most time trying to get. It has never worked. As I learned a while
ago, she does not see herself as having value, so she can not look at me,
who came from her body as having value. She also has a lot of issues with
the fact that my 3 older siblings were adopted and then I came along as a
surprise. I have always been under the 8 ball to apologize for my existence,
like I didn't deserve to intrude on how great things were and have always
been the outsider. So getting those messages out of my head are extremely
important and difficult.
As to the "useless" comment. hmmm. more useless than a 6 month pregnant
woman who spends her time taking care of a 4 year old? Yes I would say he is
sometimes. He doesn't take care of the 4 year old when we are both tired or
hot, I suck it up and do what needs to be done and he retreats. I have asked
him, and most of the time he is wonderful and helpful and willing to try to
do anything to help me out and make me happy, sometimes (like the last week)
he retreats into his cave and acts like a hungry bear whenever disturbed.
Very difficult to live with.
Anyway, thank you for your thoughts and insight, it has helped me get some
clarity.
Sherri-Lee
_____
From: Jon and Rue Kream [mailto:skreams@...]
Sent: Saturday, July 24, 2004 8:45 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: RE: [unschoolingbasics] tell me I did ok today...
>>I think I hear my mom saying that onnice days you should be outside,
**Hi Sherri-Lee - You can't stop your mother from saying things irl, but you
don't have to let her talk in your head <g>. There's nothing inherently
better about being outside on a hot day. Your day didn't sound 'passive'
to me. It sounds like you had a fun, connected day together, and you were
both happy with what you were doing. What's more important than that?
I think getting rid of the 'shoulds' goes a long way towards living a joyful
life.
>>My dhis useless in the heat
**I don't mean to sound harsh, but more useless than a woman who's six
months pregnant and spends the majority of her time caring for a young
child? Have you asked him for some help in finding ways that you can get
some rest?
Oh, and you did ok today :0). ~Rue
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Sherri-Lee Pressman
Hi Pat,
Thank you!
We are busy. she is a very social person and I can see if we spend two or
more days in a row at home we become very owlie and get on each others
nerves. If I am with it and take her out right away, the energy changes and
we are fine again.
This last week was more busy than usual. She had a soccer camp each morning
at 9 and then from there we were at a park or lake to try to cool off.
You are right I do need to let myself have a break more often and just take
care of myself without the guilt.
Sherri-Lee
_____
From: eriksmama2001 [mailto:scubamama@...]
Sent: Sunday, July 25, 2004 4:11 AM
To: [email protected]
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] Re: tell me I did ok today...
I am exhausted just hearing about your day. lol. Wow. Supermom. Wow.
Please give yourself a break mentally, physically, emotionally.
The most important lesson I have learned as a parent is that I need
to take care of myself before I can take care of anyone else.
'You can't serve soup from an empty pot.'
I have found that my son will resist going and doing when we have
done too much out-of-the-house play or activities. My "Waldorf"
friend maintains that all of that stuff is overstimulating to
children before age 10 or so. I fall closer to your side of the
fence. We go and do alot. But I do see how my son needs time to
process the activities and incorporate our outings in his play IF he
has non-structured, uninterrupted time to play. So, I purposefully
provide this for him.
When it is hot, I try to do outings early. Then we come home to
reflect and process and re-center ourselves in our familiar
environment. One can only learn in a non-threatening environment and
the world has a lot of unfamiliar and disruptive activity. Even at
the playground, I see that he gets upset when mothers are not
responding to their crying babies immediately. Or when he sees others
yelling or pushing at the pool or park. We discuss these thing at the
time but they are "play acted" at home: "mama is going to take care
of the baby", "please don't take that from my hands", etc. He
processes the important parts of his day in his play. This allows him
to get a handle on the outside world.
Home is a safe place to practice. Home is just as important as the
world. More important, even?
Pat
--- In [email protected], Sherri-Lee Pressman <sherri-
-lee@s...> wrote:
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Thank you!
We are busy. she is a very social person and I can see if we spend two or
more days in a row at home we become very owlie and get on each others
nerves. If I am with it and take her out right away, the energy changes and
we are fine again.
This last week was more busy than usual. She had a soccer camp each morning
at 9 and then from there we were at a park or lake to try to cool off.
You are right I do need to let myself have a break more often and just take
care of myself without the guilt.
Sherri-Lee
_____
From: eriksmama2001 [mailto:scubamama@...]
Sent: Sunday, July 25, 2004 4:11 AM
To: [email protected]
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] Re: tell me I did ok today...
I am exhausted just hearing about your day. lol. Wow. Supermom. Wow.
Please give yourself a break mentally, physically, emotionally.
The most important lesson I have learned as a parent is that I need
to take care of myself before I can take care of anyone else.
'You can't serve soup from an empty pot.'
I have found that my son will resist going and doing when we have
done too much out-of-the-house play or activities. My "Waldorf"
friend maintains that all of that stuff is overstimulating to
children before age 10 or so. I fall closer to your side of the
fence. We go and do alot. But I do see how my son needs time to
process the activities and incorporate our outings in his play IF he
has non-structured, uninterrupted time to play. So, I purposefully
provide this for him.
When it is hot, I try to do outings early. Then we come home to
reflect and process and re-center ourselves in our familiar
environment. One can only learn in a non-threatening environment and
the world has a lot of unfamiliar and disruptive activity. Even at
the playground, I see that he gets upset when mothers are not
responding to their crying babies immediately. Or when he sees others
yelling or pushing at the pool or park. We discuss these thing at the
time but they are "play acted" at home: "mama is going to take care
of the baby", "please don't take that from my hands", etc. He
processes the important parts of his day in his play. This allows him
to get a handle on the outside world.
Home is a safe place to practice. Home is just as important as the
world. More important, even?
Pat
--- In [email protected], Sherri-Lee Pressman <sherri-
-lee@s...> wrote:
> Hi there,with some
>
>
>
> I hope someone will be able to tell me I did ok. I am struggling
> guilt over this.all week
>
>
>
> We are having a HUGE heat wave for us. It has been in the high 30's
> and I am 6 months pregnant. I have managed fairly well so far butyesterday
> and today were brutal. I just had no energy and really could notface
> another day of the sun beating down on us. I have been taking dd tothe
> lake, water parks and to daily soccer all week. Today I took her toher
> swimming lesson early on and then we went out to the mall for abite to eat
> and some cool time.heat, all I
>
>
>
> We got home around 1 and I was just to tired and beaten by the
> wanted to do was sit and veg, watch TV or be on the computer ornap. My dh
> is useless in the heat and has spent the better part of the last 3days in
> his music room where it is cool and we have barely seen him, so Ihave felt
> like providing everything for my dd has fallen on me. And I thoughtI did
> pretty good until today, but I was just done in.cartoons
>
>
>
> So we got home and I turned on the TV for her to her station (kids
> all the time) and she has sat and watched that happily, then shespent 3
> hours on the Polly Pocket website (thank you to whoever posted thatURL, we
> just visited it yesterday and I have a little addict on my hands, Ican't
> believe how much she has learned to do on the computer in twodays!) and
> then more TV. It will be bedtime soon, and then we will read somestories.
>to a
>
> I just feel like I have let her down, like I should have taken her
> water park or to the lake or something to play and be outside inthe nice
> weather and in the water to cool down. I think I hear my mom sayingthat on
> nice days you should be outside, which I guess I agree with, butsometimes
> it is just too hot to be outside right?is ok.
>
>
> So I guess I just need some support that having such a passive day
> she doesn't seem unhappy, we have not had a fight, she has eatenwell and I
> think she might have learned some things. If she was bored we wouldhave had
> less contentment and more agitation I think.and if
>
>
>
> Anyway, thanks for listening I guess I needed to just get it out
> anyone has anything to say I am happy to listen to it,Yahoo! Groups Sponsor
>
>
>
> Sherri-Lee
>
> Need safe and natural health products?
>
> http://www.aloeessence.com
>
>
>
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Sherri-Lee Pressman
Hi Dana,
No we don't run around every day:-) But in the last two weeks she has had
activities each day ballet and soccer in the mornings, so I guess I got
stuck in that routine.
He doesn't have *my* mothers voice running in his head, but his mom did a
good job on him too:-)
Thanks for the thoughts,
Sherri-Lee
Who is going to try enjoying just letting it be
_____
From: Dana Matt [mailto:hoffmanwilson@...]
Sent: Sunday, July 25, 2004 8:16 AM
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: [unschoolingbasics] tell me I did ok today...
I seldom leave my house in the summer--unless it's to
go somewhere COOL, and NEVER if it's over 90. I think
your husband has the right idea--maybe you are useless
in the sun as well but he doesn't have your mother's
voice ringing in his ears? STAY HOME AND LIKE IT!!
:)
Dana
in MOntana
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No we don't run around every day:-) But in the last two weeks she has had
activities each day ballet and soccer in the mornings, so I guess I got
stuck in that routine.
He doesn't have *my* mothers voice running in his head, but his mom did a
good job on him too:-)
Thanks for the thoughts,
Sherri-Lee
Who is going to try enjoying just letting it be
_____
From: Dana Matt [mailto:hoffmanwilson@...]
Sent: Sunday, July 25, 2004 8:16 AM
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: [unschoolingbasics] tell me I did ok today...
> I just feel like I have let her down, like I shouldYikes! So you go running around every day?!?! Ugh!
> have taken her to a
> water park or to the lake or something to play and
> be outside in the nice
> weather and in the water to cool down. I think I
> hear my mom saying that on
> nice days you should be outside, which I guess I
> agree with, but sometimes
> it is just too hot to be outside right?
I seldom leave my house in the summer--unless it's to
go somewhere COOL, and NEVER if it's over 90. I think
your husband has the right idea--maybe you are useless
in the sun as well but he doesn't have your mother's
voice ringing in his ears? STAY HOME AND LIKE IT!!
:)
Dana
in MOntana
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Sherri-Lee Pressman
OK. you got me, you reminded me of my mom yelling me from the top of the
stairs to get out of the house and off the couch and DO SOMETHING outside
while the weather was nice! However, she would NEVER come out and do
anything with me except work - mow the lawn, trim the edging, garden, take
the dog for a walk. And she was so controlling about how these things had to
be done, it was no fun. So ok. thank you that story has helped me to narrow
in the trigger.
Sherri-Lee
_____
From: Kelli Traaseth [mailto:kellitraas@...]
Sent: Sunday, July 25, 2004 6:51 AM
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: [unschoolingbasics] tell me I did ok today...
Sherri-Lee Pressman <sherri--lee@...> wrote:
***I hope someone will be able to tell me I did ok.***
You did great!
It sounds like you guys had a great day.
I think people have to keep in mind that extreme temperatures are just the
same on both sides of the 0 (zero). Ya know? If it were way below 0 we
wouldn't be outside either. (Well, I wouldn't be, anyway.)
This same thing came up this last week with me. We have just recently moved
and were back in that town to mow and take care of the house we're trying to
sell. My ds wanted to invite a friend over to play a new video game he just
got. Sounded good to me, it was over 90 degrees F and very humid.
My son comes back home and reports that his friend has to play outside.
Not only is this child never allowed to do what he wants, he also can't be
playing where he wants. :(
These parents believe kids should be outside playing. No matter what the
temperature.
Where are the parents? Inside the cool house.
ARGH.
Anyway,,there's nothing wrong with spending a day at home--relaxing,
watching TV, playing on the computer. We choose to have lots of those days!
Kelli~
Hi there,
I hope someone will be able to tell me I did ok. I am struggling with some
guilt over this.
We are having a HUGE heat wave for us. It has been in the high 30's all week
and I am 6 months pregnant. I have managed fairly well so far but yesterday
and today were brutal. I just had no energy and really could not face
another day of the sun beating down on us. I have been taking dd to the
lake, water parks and to daily soccer all week. Today I took her to her
swimming lesson early on and then we went out to the mall for a bite to eat
and some cool time.
---------------------------------
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stairs to get out of the house and off the couch and DO SOMETHING outside
while the weather was nice! However, she would NEVER come out and do
anything with me except work - mow the lawn, trim the edging, garden, take
the dog for a walk. And she was so controlling about how these things had to
be done, it was no fun. So ok. thank you that story has helped me to narrow
in the trigger.
Sherri-Lee
_____
From: Kelli Traaseth [mailto:kellitraas@...]
Sent: Sunday, July 25, 2004 6:51 AM
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: [unschoolingbasics] tell me I did ok today...
Sherri-Lee Pressman <sherri--lee@...> wrote:
***I hope someone will be able to tell me I did ok.***
You did great!
It sounds like you guys had a great day.
I think people have to keep in mind that extreme temperatures are just the
same on both sides of the 0 (zero). Ya know? If it were way below 0 we
wouldn't be outside either. (Well, I wouldn't be, anyway.)
This same thing came up this last week with me. We have just recently moved
and were back in that town to mow and take care of the house we're trying to
sell. My ds wanted to invite a friend over to play a new video game he just
got. Sounded good to me, it was over 90 degrees F and very humid.
My son comes back home and reports that his friend has to play outside.
Not only is this child never allowed to do what he wants, he also can't be
playing where he wants. :(
These parents believe kids should be outside playing. No matter what the
temperature.
Where are the parents? Inside the cool house.
ARGH.
Anyway,,there's nothing wrong with spending a day at home--relaxing,
watching TV, playing on the computer. We choose to have lots of those days!
Kelli~
Hi there,
I hope someone will be able to tell me I did ok. I am struggling with some
guilt over this.
We are having a HUGE heat wave for us. It has been in the high 30's all week
and I am 6 months pregnant. I have managed fairly well so far but yesterday
and today were brutal. I just had no energy and really could not face
another day of the sun beating down on us. I have been taking dd to the
lake, water parks and to daily soccer all week. Today I took her to her
swimming lesson early on and then we went out to the mall for a bite to eat
and some cool time.
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