Tina Bragdon

Dh and I are in the process of updating our wills. Dh's sis and her
hubby are the guardians of our children in case anything should
happen to us. We know for sure they would not homeschool the kids,
but that was not our major criteria for picking a guardian. I am not
sure if I were a single mom (by choice or dh's demise) either I would
manage to homeschool. I am an RN (here in Canada, so basically no
flexability in schedules like working just weekends or anything) and
it's definitely not a work from home career or anything, so at this
time if something happened I just cannot see any way I could manage
to keep the kids home and unschool either. We have limited
babysitting (I have a half time job, dh has no guarenteed hours in
his right now but works around me as much as possible) and only need
4-5 days a month tops, but I know they are not willing to do more.

I unschool because of the way my children and very definitely the way
my dd learns...very kinesthetic/language oriented, cannot sit still,
etc. She very much fits the profile of a highly sensitive kid, I am
sure she would suffer in school. I just see her blossoming so much
at home, and how she learns best at her own terms. I know this is
the right way for us to learn, just through life. However, doing my
will has brought up a number of thoughts....I know my kids are WHO
THEY ARE, they can only be compared to themselves, etc. I just have
this niggling thought in the back of my mind that both of them would
be majorly "behind" if ever put in a school setting (well, ds is not
school age, but definitely has motor/speech issues that I am debating
getting evaluated because of more and more problems they are causing
in everyday situations)

They are enjoying their real lives RIGHT NOW, growing everyday, which
is what is important. I would not change my unschooling to school at
home just because of a remote possibility that something would happen
to one or both of us, but I have been somewhat haunted by thoughts of
my kids struggling in school especially when I think of where dd is
related to a typical scope and sequence...sort of "proof" to my
family/SIL that unschooling doesn;t work.

As dh says, I/we wouldn't be around after our deaths to worry about
it now wouldn't we?

Any thoughts from anyone on all this?

Tina, dp James, dd Stephanie (almost 7) and ds Jonathan (almost 4)
here in Manitoba Canada

Katharine Wise

Very briefly, I think having their needs best met now will best prepare them for whatever may come in the future. For example, if your dd were in school now and not having a great experience, she really wouldn't be better prepared to handle the trauma of your deaths, a new family, and moving to a new school, than she will be by your doing now what you think is best for her in the present. A child who has been filled to the brim with the best experiences possible will be better prepared for whatever comes than a child who's already needy and struggling.

Same concept as putting your child in daycare so they'll be prepared for preschool so they'll be prepared for kindergarten -- doesn't really work that way, though it's not an uncommon logic.

Hope that makes sense.

Katharine






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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Lisa Heyman

Get good life insurance policy and stipulate which monies to apply to
maintaining educational status as homeschoolers. And/or perhaps there is
good alternative school in area of sil & bil that you might feel comfortable
should they need to go somewhere. Also - don't know about where you live
but in NY there is difference between physical custody and educational
custody. That might be something to consider as far as who 'educates' your
children.

Lisa Heyman





>From: "Tina Bragdon" <jamesandtina942@...>
>Reply-To: [email protected]
>To: [email protected]
>Subject: [unschoolingbasics] thoughts on being "behind"...
>Date: Sat, 10 Mar 2007 13:56:37 -0000
>
>Dh and I are in the process of updating our wills. Dh's sis and her
>hubby are the guardians of our children in case anything should
>happen to us. We know for sure they would not homeschool the kids,
>but that was not our major criteria for picking a guardian. I am not
>sure if I were a single mom (by choice or dh's demise) either I would
>manage to homeschool. I am an RN (here in Canada, so basically no
>flexability in schedules like working just weekends or anything) and
>it's definitely not a work from home career or anything, so at this
>time if something happened I just cannot see any way I could manage
>to keep the kids home and unschool either. We have limited
>babysitting (I have a half time job, dh has no guarenteed hours in
>his right now but works around me as much as possible) and only need
>4-5 days a month tops, but I know they are not willing to do more.
>
>I unschool because of the way my children and very definitely the way
>my dd learns...very kinesthetic/language oriented, cannot sit still,
>etc. She very much fits the profile of a highly sensitive kid, I am
>sure she would suffer in school. I just see her blossoming so much
>at home, and how she learns best at her own terms. I know this is
>the right way for us to learn, just through life. However, doing my
>will has brought up a number of thoughts....I know my kids are WHO
>THEY ARE, they can only be compared to themselves, etc. I just have
>this niggling thought in the back of my mind that both of them would
>be majorly "behind" if ever put in a school setting (well, ds is not
>school age, but definitely has motor/speech issues that I am debating
>getting evaluated because of more and more problems they are causing
>in everyday situations)
>
>They are enjoying their real lives RIGHT NOW, growing everyday, which
>is what is important. I would not change my unschooling to school at
>home just because of a remote possibility that something would happen
>to one or both of us, but I have been somewhat haunted by thoughts of
>my kids struggling in school especially when I think of where dd is
>related to a typical scope and sequence...sort of "proof" to my
>family/SIL that unschooling doesn;t work.
>
>As dh says, I/we wouldn't be around after our deaths to worry about
>it now wouldn't we?
>
>Any thoughts from anyone on all this?
>
>Tina, dp James, dd Stephanie (almost 7) and ds Jonathan (almost 4)
>here in Manitoba Canada
>

_________________________________________________________________
The average US Credit Score is 675. The cost to see yours: $0 by Experian.
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Debra Rossing

While nursing is not an 'at home' business, visiting nurses/home health
care providers can often adjust their hours/days and sometimes bring
along the kids(depending on circumstances). Just another option to
consider

Deb

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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

-----Original Message-----
From: jamesandtina942@...

Dh and I are in the process of updating our wills. Dh's sis and her
hubby are the guardians of our children in case anything should
happen to us. We know for sure they would not homeschool the kids,
but that was not our major criteria for picking a guardian. I am not
sure if I were a single mom (by choice or dh's demise) either I would
manage to homeschool. I am an RN (here in Canada, so basically no
flexability in schedules like working just weekends or anything) and
it's definitely not a work from home career or anything, so at this
time if something happened I just cannot see any way I could manage
to keep the kids home and unschool either. We have limited
babysitting (I have a half time job, dh has no guarenteed hours in
his right now but works around me as much as possible) and only need
4-5 days a month tops, but I know they are not willing to do more.

I unschool because of the way my children and very definitely the way
my dd learns...very kinesthetic/language oriented, cannot sit still,
etc. She very much fits the profile of a highly sensitive kid, I am
sure she would suffer in school. I just see her blossoming so much
at home, and how she learns best at her own terms. I know this is
the right way for us to learn, just through life. However, doing my
will has brought up a number of thoughts....I know my kids are WHO
THEY ARE, they can only be compared to themselves, etc. I just have
this niggling thought in the back of my mind that both of them would
be majorly "behind" if ever put in a school setting (well, ds is not
school age, but definitely has motor/speech issues that I am debating
getting evaluated because of more and more problems they are causing
in everyday situations)

They are enjoying their real lives RIGHT NOW, growing everyday, which
is what is important. I would not change my unschooling to school at
home just because of a remote possibility that something would happen
to one or both of us, but I have been somewhat haunted by thoughts of
my kids struggling in school especially when I think of where dd is
related to a typical scope and sequence...sort of "proof" to my
family/SIL that unschooling doesn;t work.

As dh says, I/we wouldn't be around after our deaths to worry about
it now wouldn't we?

Any thoughts from anyone on all this?

-=-=-=-

Our wills state who will take our boys. Cameron is now 19, so we did a
new one right after his 18th birthday so that *he* would be the legal
guardian of Duncan (11). Up until then, we'd picked out friends who
understand unschooling. She was Cameron's third grade teacher and is
now the head of a schoool for kids with learning differences. When we
decided to pull Cam out of school, she's the one who suggested I read
Holt. <g> Her husband is a sociology professor at the university. Our
life insurance $$ would've covered one's salary so that one could stay
home with the boys and continue to unschool. Period. All understood and
in writing.

We couldn't have left them with family---the boys would've been back in
school before you could say John Holt. <g>

It certainly gets easier as they get older. I know *I* breathe more
easily!

I guess it depends on what's more important to you. Unschooling and
mindful parenting were more important to me and Ben than the idea that
they would be with family. Still so. If Ben and Cam and I all die, Dunc
still goes to Pat & Gillian.

I've offered before and have been taken up on the offer once so far:
Ben and I are happy to be the guardians of any unschooled child. We all
doubt it will ever happen, but the peace of mind of knowing that the
lifestyle would be maintained is immeasurable. You would have to put it
in your wills though---and I think it would be a good idea to know us.
<bwg> Come visit. <g> But we're as serious as we can be.


~Kelly

Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
http://www.LiveandLearnConference.org


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