catherine aceto

I had never even *heard* of this as a problem. Certainly don't have it here with my husband, or when I grew up with my father and brother. Very strange to me. I assume that the answer isn't as easy as just asking the men in your life to pee into the toilet?

-Cat
----- Original Message -----
From: Ren

I was beginning to think I was the only one in a household of guys, without pee around the toilet.



[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

In a message dated 7/14/2004 8:40:24 AM Eastern Daylight Time,
aceto3@... writes:

I assume that the answer isn't as easy as just asking the men in your life
to pee into the toilet? <<<



LOL!

~Kelly


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Dana Matt

I've lived with 4 men in my life (father, dh, two
different boyfriends....) and all of them sit down to
pee, and get it in the toilet. I think it's really
gross--they whole "boys will be boys"-think--If you've
got a penis you have to wave it around....Silly...

Dana
in Montana
--- catherine aceto <aceto3@...> wrote:
> I had never even *heard* of this as a problem.
> Certainly don't have it here with my husband, or
> when I grew up with my father and brother. Very
> strange to me. I assume that the answer isn't as
> easy as just asking the men in your life to pee into
> the toilet?
>
> -Cat
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: Ren
>
> I was beginning to think I was the only one in a
> household of guys, without pee around the toilet.
>
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been
> removed]
>
>
>
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G&M Contracting Inc., Kenneth Gillilan

Kelly,
Oh if it only were that easy! 8*)
-----Original Message-----
From: kbcdlovejo@... [mailto:kbcdlovejo@...]
Sent: Wednesday, July 14, 2004 8:43 AM
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: [unschoolingbasics] guys and toilets



In a message dated 7/14/2004 8:40:24 AM Eastern Daylight Time,
aceto3@... writes:

I assume that the answer isn't as easy as just asking the men in your
life
to pee into the toilet? <<<



LOL!

~Kelly


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]


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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

G&M Contracting Inc., Kenneth Gillilan

Dana,
I have lived with too many men to count and all of them pee standing up.
Maybe it's a geographical thing. I had 4 brothers, my father, 6 male
cousins (close friends), husbands,(yes that's plural) and sons who all pee
standing. I can't think of a single male I know that peed sitting, well
except for if they were pooping.
For my boys it's not so much waving as leaning. Oh the fine are of
urinating. 8o)

AnnMarie
-----Original Message-----
From: Dana Matt [mailto:hoffmanwilson@...]
Sent: Wednesday, July 14, 2004 9:03 AM
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: [unschoolingbasics] guys and toilets


I've lived with 4 men in my life (father, dh, two
different boyfriends....) and all of them sit down to
pee, and get it in the toilet. I think it's really
gross--they whole "boys will be boys"-think--If you've
got a penis you have to wave it around....Silly...

Dana
in Montana
--- catherine aceto <aceto3@...> wrote:
> I had never even *heard* of this as a problem.
> Certainly don't have it here with my husband, or
> when I grew up with my father and brother. Very
> strange to me. I assume that the answer isn't as
> easy as just asking the men in your life to pee into
> the toilet?
>
> -Cat
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: Ren
>
> I was beginning to think I was the only one in a
> household of guys, without pee around the toilet.
>
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been
> removed]
>
>
>
> ------------------------ Yahoo! Groups Sponsor
>
>
>
> Yahoo! Groups Links
>
>
> [email protected]
>
>
>
>




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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Fetteroll

on 7/14/04 8:39 AM, catherine aceto at aceto3@... wrote:

> I assume that the answer isn't as easy as just asking the men in your life to
> pee into the toilet?

I've heard there are flushable bulls eyes for them to practice aiming at.
Maybe those would work for husbands too ;-)

Joyce

Deb Lewis

***I've heard there are flushable bulls eyes for them to practice aiming
at.
Maybe those would work for husbands too ;-)***

Cheerio's! Or if you want color, Fruit Loops.

Deb

Crystal

Cute idea but sometimes cereal still floats after you flush. When I
was a kid we rarely finished a full bowl of cereal so my mother
would flush the rest. We always had cereal floating in our toilet.

All the men in my life stand to pee, but when my boys were just
learning I used to sit them facing backward so they naturally
pointed in the right direction.

Crystal

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>
> Cheerio's! Or if you want color, Fruit Loops.
>
> Deb

Ren

"As for that other important issue, raising the seat...I never harped on mine
to put it back down. I figured if they could remember to put it up, I could
remember to put it down when it was my turn!"

My little guy (3) has it all backwards. He leaves the seat down to pee, and raises it to sit on the toilet. We're trying to show him how comfortable it is with the seat down..and how you're less likely to fall in! He's a funny person.

Ren

Learn about unschooling at:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/unschoolingbasics/

Valerie

We call them Cheerios!

> I've heard there are flushable bulls eyes for them to practice
aiming at.
> Maybe those would work for husbands too ;-)
>
> Joyce

erikad428

--- In [email protected], "Ren" <starsuncloud@n...>
wrote:
>
>
> "As for that other important issue, raising the seat...I never
harped on mine
> to put it back down. I figured if they could remember to put it
up, I could
> remember to put it down when it was my turn!"

Hi All,

Just as a point of clarification, my guys don't pee on the floor or
the walls when using the toilet. If I gave that impression, it was a
mistake. They just don't like to clean the toilet. And maybe because
I(and my daughter) sit all the time when we use the restroom, we
notice when it needs to be cleaned more often then my guys do. But
just because they don't notice the toilet, it does not mean that it
doesn't need to be cleaned.
I grew up in a all female(5)household and we still needed to clean
the toilet on a regular basis. And there's where the job of cleaning
it comes in. Who's job/chore is it in your house? Only Mom and/or
Dad? Why? The point I was trying to make about toilets is that I
don't believe that the only person in the household who has to do
that type of job is the person who would be bothered by it if it is
not done.
And as a side comment, my husband and sons are very thoughtful about
putting down the toilet seat after they use it. Not because I nag
them about it, but because it is one of the nice things they do for
me, just like I always return their brushes back to the bathroom
after they have used them somewhere else in the house without
comment so that they can find them in the morning.

Take Care,
Erika
"I am learning all the time, the tombstone will be my diploma"-
Eartha Kitt

Sylvia Toyama

Maybe those would work for husbands too ;-)

***

Thankfully, it's never been a problem with dh. It's the boys who sometimes miss their mark, or don't bother to lift the seat, etc. When Dan tried to pass the blame to his Daddy, I could tell by the grin and twinkle in his eyes that he was trying to pull a fast one! It's not really a big deal for me -- I really love being a Mom to boys, and I know they'll grow past this.

Syl


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Sylvia Toyama

Dan's also 3, and will sometimes lift the seat when he intends to sit down. Then there was the time he thought the seat was up and it fell back down -- just as he was unzipping, so no harm done. He did learn, tho, to be sure the seat is really up!

Syl


*****

My little guy (3) has it all backwards. He leaves the seat down to pee, and raises it to sit on the toilet. We're trying to show him how comfortable it is with the seat down..and how you're less likely to fall in! He's a funny person




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Michelle

My 6yo son lifts the seat just enought to get himself under it, and then leans on the raised seat while he is doing his business. The seat always gets put down, because it never really goes up.

Michelle W.

Ren <starsuncloud@...> wrote:


"As for that other important issue, raising the seat...I never harped on mine
to put it back down. I figured if they could remember to put it up, I could
remember to put it down when it was my turn!"

My little guy (3) has it all backwards. He leaves the seat down to pee, and raises it to sit on the toilet. We're trying to show him how comfortable it is with the seat down..and how you're less likely to fall in! He's a funny person.

Ren

Learn about unschooling at:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/unschoolingbasics/


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Sylvia Toyama

For my boys it's not so much waving as leaning. Oh the fine are of urinating. 8o)

****

And it seems especially for the very young uncircumcised boy to aim his penis -- he never really knows when the foreskin will unfurl, so has no control of which way he's aimed. It's getting better here, tho, as Dan gets older and has more control. His biggest problem is he waits until the last possible second and is still wrestling his penis out of his shorts when he starts!

Syl


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Fetteroll

on 7/14/04 1:23 PM, erikad428 at davpitok@... wrote:

> The point I was trying to make about toilets is that I
> don't believe that the only person in the household who has to do
> that type of job is the person who would be bothered by it if it is
> not done.

It's not a rule. It's about joyful relationships with kids.

If relationships are being damaged because mom spends a lot of negative
energy enforcing her belief that everyone needs to share in the upkeep of
the home, then rethinking that can help her work towards a more joyful
relationship with her children.

If your kids have never cried because of some chore they've been told to do,
or you feel their anger at being made to do something they don't want to do
is part of life or not permanently scarring, then what people try to
describe about extending the unschooling philosophy into parenting won't
make much sense.

On the other hand if you have made them cry or angry and you can turn around
and see what the world looks like through their eyes and why they're feeling
what they're feeling and why it makes sense for them to react as they do,
then the discussions can be very valuable to find a better way to relate to
them.

Joyce

TreeGoddess

On Jul 14, 2004, at 8:45 PM, Sylvia Toyama wrote:

> And it seems especially for the very young uncircumcised boy to aim
> his penis -- he never really knows when the foreskin will unfurl, so
> has no control of which way he's aimed. It's getting better here,
> tho, as Dan gets older and has more control. His biggest problem is
> he waits until the last possible second and is still wrestling his
> penis out of his shorts when he starts!

My DS is intact and I haven't noticed any wayward pee....his aim it
pretty spot on.
-Tracy-

G&M Contracting Inc., Kenneth Gillilan

>>And it seems especially for the very young uncircumcised boy to aim his
penis >>>

Syl,
Yes that it is the problem with my one uncircumcised boy here, but the
true culprit is my oldest son who IS circumcised. We had such a traumatic
event with his circumcision that we swore we wouldn't ever do that again and
we didn't. The doctor botched the procedure, so Keegan would have to
practically stand on his head to hit the toilet. The only benefit that we
can see in the future is that we could enter him in a peeing contest and he
would win the longest distance award hands down.

AnnMarie
-----Original Message-----
From: Sylvia Toyama [mailto:sylgt04@...]
Sent: Wednesday, July 14, 2004 8:46 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: RE: [unschoolingbasics] guys and toilets


For my boys it's not so much waving as leaning. Oh the fine are of
urinating. 8o)

****

And it seems especially for the very young uncircumcised boy to aim his
penis -- he never really knows when the foreskin will unfurl, so has no
control of which way he's aimed. It's getting better here, tho, as Dan gets
older and has more control. His biggest problem is he waits until the last
possible second and is still wrestling his penis out of his shorts when he
starts!

Syl


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Joan Labbe & Salvatore Genovese

on 7/14/04 1:23 PM, erikad428 at davpitok@... wrote:

> The point I was trying to make about toilets is that I
> don't believe that the only person in the household who has to do
> that type of job is the person who would be bothered by it if it is
> not done.

I think what Joyce wrote about this was fabulous. I wanted to put a few
more things out there that have helped me transform my thinking a lot
regarding various things I feel like "have" to be done or that I "have to"
do them if no one else does. This relates to what everyone is saying about
finding joy, and also to what is most fundamental to unschooling, "it's all
about choice". This is true for us parents as much as for our kids. If we
feel enslaved to do things, rather than seeing how we are choosing to do
them, then our kids learn that dynamic.

In Marshall Rosenberg's "Non-Violent Communication" book he tells readers
"Don't do anything that isn't play!" He means that it's important for us to
make choices "motivated purely by our desire to contribute to life rather
than out of fear, guilt, shame, duty or obligation". In other words, we
should be doing what contributes to joy.

His book really encouraged me to try to translate all my things I felt like
I "had to do" into things I "choose to do" and to find out if there was
anything life-affirming underneath. He talks about a woman for example, who
came to his workshop and felt tremendous resentment that she "had to" make
dinner for her family every night of the week. He challenged her to
translate this into "choose to" language and the result was that she found
she was choosing it out of obligation and guilt. She stopped making all
those dinners and the result was that her kids were greatly relieved to have
a mom making joyful choices instead of a mom stamping around the house
resentfully making this meal. "Thank goodness", they said, "that mom
stopped making dinner!"

On the other hand, changing to "choose to" can help us perform tasks that we
are doing resentfully now with a different focus once we recognize the
joyous reason we are choosing them. One of the things that made Marshall's
own list of "have to" things was driving the carpool. He'd get to his day
and feel resentful that he "had to" do it again. Once he translated this
into "I choose to drive the carpool because I feel appreciation for the
benefits my children receive from attending their currrent school which they
couldn't get from the neighborhood school they could walk to" it meant that
he drove the carpool with a different energy - that he could remind himself
that he was choosing to do this to benefit his children which was
life-affirming instead of feeling resentful that he "had to" do it. (Okay,
I know that's not a great unschooling example, but that's the one in his
book! and you get the drift...)

After reading Marshall's stuff on choice, I can see that personally, there
is nothing that I "have to" do in life. I make choices based on what I
value, on what my needs are, on what's important to me. I found it a
tremedous exercise to sit down and "free myself" by making a list of all the
things I felt like I "had to" do and force myself to change my language to
"choose to" and add why I was choosing that. I got rid of some things I
really didn't want to choose. I did many of the other things with a very
different feeling like Marshall's carpool. And I was able to see that if I
want us to contribute as a family to doing something like cleaning the
bathroom toilet, that the way it would work for me to go about that would be
to approach them not in a way that says "the bathroom has to be clean so we
all have to do this", but in a way that says "Mom chooses to clean the
bathroom because I feel good when it's clean, my nose likes it better, and
because hygeine is important to me. Since we all use the bathroom, I sure
would like some help. How do you all feel about the bathroom being clean
and would you be willing to help me keep it that way?" And we'd work it out
from there.

Joan (still loving NVC and feeling it is SO compatible to unschooling
philosophy in many ways)

Robyn Coburn

<<<In Marshall Rosenberg's "Non-Violent Communication" book he tells readers
"Don't do anything that isn't play!" He means that it's important for us to
make choices "motivated purely by our desire to contribute to life rather
than out of fear, guilt, shame, duty or obligation". In other words, we
should be doing what contributes to joy.>>>

In terms of housework, as well as other areas, one thing that contributes to
the joy, is having tools that are efficient or fun. It is the feeling of
going into the art supply store and immediately wanting to start drawing.

My personal housework favorites are the Swiffer Wet Jet, which makes a nice
whirring noise when it squirts the liquid that attracts Jayn, the Swiffer
dusters that grab and hold - they really do - and the Clorox toilet cleaner
that is the little disposable sponge on the end of the stick. When I first
got one I was actually hurrying home to use it! I also get a lot of
entertainment value from making up my own basic mixtures for cleaning, and
an old fashioned scrubbing brush in the bathroom. One of the simple things
that makes me feel "ready to work" is to actually put on my apron and high
quality nice rubber gloves in the kitchen.

A decent vacuum cleaner and a broom that doesn't shed make all the
difference in the world.

Robyn L. Coburn


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Krisula Moyer

OK this is unconventional (pause for effect) and it probably won't work for
those of you already complaining (I'm thinking your boys are old enough not
to want to switch) but... My husband (and his father and his grandfather,
all pee sitting down. When ds was potty training, Daddy took him in the
bathroom and showed him how to sit down and "tuck it in" - uh, point it
downward. (blushing and giggling). We rarely have the back-splash problem
you all are talking about. My mom asked me - "won't kids make fun of him at
school when he gets older?" but that has yet to happen (BWG).
-Krisula

Dana Matt

--- Krisula Moyer <krisulam@...> wrote:
> OK this is unconventional (pause for effect) and it
> probably won't work for
> those of you already complaining (I'm thinking your
> boys are old enough not
> to want to switch) but... My husband (and his father
> and his grandfather,
> all pee sitting down. When ds was potty training,
> Daddy took him in the
> bathroom and showed him how to sit down and "tuck it
> in" - uh, point it
> downward. (blushing and giggling). We rarely have
> the back-splash problem
> you all are talking about. My mom asked me - "won't
> kids make fun of him at
> school when he gets older?" but that has yet to
> happen (BWG).
> -Krisula
>
Totally, Krisula--all the men in my family do it,
too...
Dana
in MOntana



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