another letter to relatives
[email protected]
I found this searchimg the web a bit. I thought it was a good reply to
concerned relatives. I don't know who Stephanie is, but I like her
answer!
~Kelly
A Letter to Concerned Relatives
My son is just turning 12. I have not been actively pushing him to
do "schoolwork", in fact, he hasn't been doing much of anything. I was
getting some flack from relatives because he can't "rattle off" the
times tables when they fire questions at him. This had me thinking
about how I could explain "unschooling" to people who have no idea what
it means. Their main concern (other than the ever popular
"socialization" question) were that the kids didn't have "some kind of
regimented schedule of learning" and that I was keeping them home to
"shelter" them from "the real world". Here is a copy of the letter I
wrote them:
Your first concern was that they should have "regimented" schedules for
learning. A good schedule is one that meets your personal requirements.
Mike's (DH) schedule changes weekly to meet his work requirements. My
children's schedules change to meet their requirements. There is
nothing inherently "right" about getting up early or going to bed by
8pm. Some of our best learning experiences have occurred at night, when
the kids are laying down listening to me read to them.
The idea of sitting down at a table and reading out of a textbook is a
misunderstanding of what learning really involves. The tiny bits of
facts that are generally presented in textbooks are difficult if not
impossible to apply to everyday life. I am curious what a "sensible
goal" for curriculum would be in your opinion? My main goal is to raise
independent, thinking, loving adults with a grasp on the basic skills
they will need to succeed in life. Just how much of what YOU learned in
school do you use everyday? Quick, what is the capital of Germany? What
is the major export of Brazil? Have you ever dissected a frog at work?
Recite the periodic table of elements in order. What is the symbol for
Iron? Diagram this sentence and circle the predicate and underline any
prepositions. Diagram a factor lattice for the number 32. Had enough?
On the other hand, if you make learning part of your lifestyle, you are
learning all the time. We made a weak battery by using foil, salt, and
baking soda.... to clean the tarnish off my good silver. We experiment
with chemical reactions every day... it's called cooking. What makes an
egg go from a liquid to a solid? Why does cornstarch change the
physical properties of a white sauce? What makes the holes in bread?
How does yeast make dough rise? If you have company coming and you have
to triple your recipe for Pepper Steak, how much soy sauce will you
need if the original recipe calls for 1/3 cup? If you get $20 for your
birthday, and your brother has $5 left over from Christmas, and there
is a toy that you want that costs $35 but is on sale this week for 25%
off plus tax, if you pool your money, can you buy it? And if you do,
what fraction of it is really yours, since you paid more for it than
your brother? :-) Now THAT is practical learning!
Quizzing a child to see if he knows the times tables and can rattle
them off is not an accurate measurement of that child's grasp on math.
I am using a practical, hands on approach to math that give the child a
grasp of the fundamentals. If they can see units instead of numbers on
paper, then it is easier to manipulate numbers. I don't want my
children to just spout memorized facts, I want them to grasp the
concepts that make those facts work. For example, yesterday I asked
Chris to figure 3 times 12. He got it in seconds. I asked him how he
got the answer so fast, since he has only been working on the times
tables up to 10. He said "it was easy, you just take 3x10 and add 3x2
... duh!" See, it doesn't matter if he KNOWS the answer by memory, it
is more important that he knows how to GET the answer! Memorizing math
facts is only for your own convenience. It has no bearing on your
understanding of multiplication. I could teach IVY the times tables.
(she is already learning the 3's times table from listening to her
brothers practice) but she obviously would have no idea what they mean.
If you believe that my primary reason for homeschooling is to keep my
kids away from the "big bad world out there," you are WAY off! I keep
my kids home because I LIKE THEM HERE! I want to have this time to
spend with them, I want them to be able to develop close ties with
their brothers (and sister). I want them to get their values from US,
not their peers. In case you hadn't noticed, my children are sweet,
loving, intelligent, thoughtful, considerate, helpful, and basically
great kids! Why do I need to send them away for 8 hours a day? What
will they learn in school that will make such a difference in their
lives? I can think of many negative things that they would learn there
that would effect their lives! Hmmm, lets see, there's sex, drugs, peer
dependance, bad language, bad attitudes, humiliation, low self-esteem.
I can't see how learning any of these things will benefit my children!
So why send them? What would they get at school that is so valuable
that they can't learn it at home? Why not turn that around and ask,
what can they get at home that they can't get at school?
Unconditional love, acceptance, support, guidance, values, practical
life experience, learning how to make a marriage work, how to be a good
parent, to share, to show compassion, to help others, to make good
decisions. I would say that the things you get at home are the most
important. Somehow, a "good job" isn't going to be much help if your
marriage is falling apart, is it? What good is a high school diploma if
you don't know how to balance a checkbook or do your own grocery
shopping, or cook your own meals? And if you think school teaches these
things, you are sadly mistaken! School is an artificial environment,
nothing there pertains to real life.
No other time in your life will you be in that kind of circumstance
where you are stuck in a room with people exactly your own age, working
next to, but not with each other, being told to do things by an
"authority figure" that have absolutely no bearing on your real life.
(Ok, maybe prison comes close) It is no wonder that school attendance
is compulsory, no thinking person would voluntarily go there!
You talk about my kids having to go out and meet the world face to
face. Well I have news for you.... they LIVE in the real world, it is
the public school that is the sheltered environment. My kids get "real
life" experiences every day. They go shopping, they run errands, they
do housework. How much of what goes on in a classroom is what YOU do
every day?
There will be no great "shock" for my kids, they are already LIVING in
the real world. Why would I want to take them and pen them up in an
institution for 12 years? If you have any specific questions about my
children's education, please feel free to ask me. I am quite pleased
with their progress.
-- Stephanie
________________________________________________________________________
Check out the new AOL. Most comprehensive set of free safety and
security tools, free access to millions of high-quality videos from
across the web, free AOL Mail and more.
concerned relatives. I don't know who Stephanie is, but I like her
answer!
~Kelly
A Letter to Concerned Relatives
My son is just turning 12. I have not been actively pushing him to
do "schoolwork", in fact, he hasn't been doing much of anything. I was
getting some flack from relatives because he can't "rattle off" the
times tables when they fire questions at him. This had me thinking
about how I could explain "unschooling" to people who have no idea what
it means. Their main concern (other than the ever popular
"socialization" question) were that the kids didn't have "some kind of
regimented schedule of learning" and that I was keeping them home to
"shelter" them from "the real world". Here is a copy of the letter I
wrote them:
Your first concern was that they should have "regimented" schedules for
learning. A good schedule is one that meets your personal requirements.
Mike's (DH) schedule changes weekly to meet his work requirements. My
children's schedules change to meet their requirements. There is
nothing inherently "right" about getting up early or going to bed by
8pm. Some of our best learning experiences have occurred at night, when
the kids are laying down listening to me read to them.
The idea of sitting down at a table and reading out of a textbook is a
misunderstanding of what learning really involves. The tiny bits of
facts that are generally presented in textbooks are difficult if not
impossible to apply to everyday life. I am curious what a "sensible
goal" for curriculum would be in your opinion? My main goal is to raise
independent, thinking, loving adults with a grasp on the basic skills
they will need to succeed in life. Just how much of what YOU learned in
school do you use everyday? Quick, what is the capital of Germany? What
is the major export of Brazil? Have you ever dissected a frog at work?
Recite the periodic table of elements in order. What is the symbol for
Iron? Diagram this sentence and circle the predicate and underline any
prepositions. Diagram a factor lattice for the number 32. Had enough?
On the other hand, if you make learning part of your lifestyle, you are
learning all the time. We made a weak battery by using foil, salt, and
baking soda.... to clean the tarnish off my good silver. We experiment
with chemical reactions every day... it's called cooking. What makes an
egg go from a liquid to a solid? Why does cornstarch change the
physical properties of a white sauce? What makes the holes in bread?
How does yeast make dough rise? If you have company coming and you have
to triple your recipe for Pepper Steak, how much soy sauce will you
need if the original recipe calls for 1/3 cup? If you get $20 for your
birthday, and your brother has $5 left over from Christmas, and there
is a toy that you want that costs $35 but is on sale this week for 25%
off plus tax, if you pool your money, can you buy it? And if you do,
what fraction of it is really yours, since you paid more for it than
your brother? :-) Now THAT is practical learning!
Quizzing a child to see if he knows the times tables and can rattle
them off is not an accurate measurement of that child's grasp on math.
I am using a practical, hands on approach to math that give the child a
grasp of the fundamentals. If they can see units instead of numbers on
paper, then it is easier to manipulate numbers. I don't want my
children to just spout memorized facts, I want them to grasp the
concepts that make those facts work. For example, yesterday I asked
Chris to figure 3 times 12. He got it in seconds. I asked him how he
got the answer so fast, since he has only been working on the times
tables up to 10. He said "it was easy, you just take 3x10 and add 3x2
... duh!" See, it doesn't matter if he KNOWS the answer by memory, it
is more important that he knows how to GET the answer! Memorizing math
facts is only for your own convenience. It has no bearing on your
understanding of multiplication. I could teach IVY the times tables.
(she is already learning the 3's times table from listening to her
brothers practice) but she obviously would have no idea what they mean.
If you believe that my primary reason for homeschooling is to keep my
kids away from the "big bad world out there," you are WAY off! I keep
my kids home because I LIKE THEM HERE! I want to have this time to
spend with them, I want them to be able to develop close ties with
their brothers (and sister). I want them to get their values from US,
not their peers. In case you hadn't noticed, my children are sweet,
loving, intelligent, thoughtful, considerate, helpful, and basically
great kids! Why do I need to send them away for 8 hours a day? What
will they learn in school that will make such a difference in their
lives? I can think of many negative things that they would learn there
that would effect their lives! Hmmm, lets see, there's sex, drugs, peer
dependance, bad language, bad attitudes, humiliation, low self-esteem.
I can't see how learning any of these things will benefit my children!
So why send them? What would they get at school that is so valuable
that they can't learn it at home? Why not turn that around and ask,
what can they get at home that they can't get at school?
Unconditional love, acceptance, support, guidance, values, practical
life experience, learning how to make a marriage work, how to be a good
parent, to share, to show compassion, to help others, to make good
decisions. I would say that the things you get at home are the most
important. Somehow, a "good job" isn't going to be much help if your
marriage is falling apart, is it? What good is a high school diploma if
you don't know how to balance a checkbook or do your own grocery
shopping, or cook your own meals? And if you think school teaches these
things, you are sadly mistaken! School is an artificial environment,
nothing there pertains to real life.
No other time in your life will you be in that kind of circumstance
where you are stuck in a room with people exactly your own age, working
next to, but not with each other, being told to do things by an
"authority figure" that have absolutely no bearing on your real life.
(Ok, maybe prison comes close) It is no wonder that school attendance
is compulsory, no thinking person would voluntarily go there!
You talk about my kids having to go out and meet the world face to
face. Well I have news for you.... they LIVE in the real world, it is
the public school that is the sheltered environment. My kids get "real
life" experiences every day. They go shopping, they run errands, they
do housework. How much of what goes on in a classroom is what YOU do
every day?
There will be no great "shock" for my kids, they are already LIVING in
the real world. Why would I want to take them and pen them up in an
institution for 12 years? If you have any specific questions about my
children's education, please feel free to ask me. I am quite pleased
with their progress.
-- Stephanie
________________________________________________________________________
Check out the new AOL. Most comprehensive set of free safety and
security tools, free access to millions of high-quality videos from
across the web, free AOL Mail and more.