Not responsible for others feelings
Ren
" It does not shock me though, many here have said something to the
effect of kicking out a single mother and her 4 year old son with no
place to go regardless of the situation because it is negativly
effecting my childs emotions."
For someone that has admitted to some very unhealthy dynamics and a lot of stress in the home, you're being pretty quick to judge the advice that's been given.
If you come to the list with a long list of unhappy problems, and we point out some ways you could reduce that load, you might want to at least consider where the advice is coming from.
You're talking to folks that HAVE found a happy balance, that have very respectful, happy kids that AREN'T being selfish. You're talking to people that don't have problems setting boundaries and keeping their family safe, yes, even from single parents that need help.
Do you want to ask why? Why are these families that advocate freedom, raising up such incredibly kind, empathetic, helpful individuals?
How can their advice help others do the same?
You've described a woman in your home that is using you, wrecking havoc with you and your family's emotions, yet you're upset because we're telling you your family is MORE important than her? Ok.
There are ways to try and help folks, without endangering the health of your own child and family. That is unacceptable to me. The things she's done to you and your family would be unacceptable in our home. I love myself too much to let someone hurt me, or anyone I love that way.
As far as being responsible for other people's feelings....
What is being advocated, is treating people with utmost respect and kindness, creating in your home EVERY possibility for happiness and joy, that is the part you CAN control.
We are responsible to control that which we CAN. So we do.
The part we CAN NOT control, is how other people feel. You and I are not responsible for other people's feelings, we ARE however, responsible to try and create the best possible atmosphere for a happy outcome.
Can you not see the difference?
Your poor child feels responsible for making Daddy angry. That was HIS choice, she's just being a four year old. In my book, HE should be the one making her a nice apology card for overreacting and treating her like she's stupid when she made a mistake. He is the adult, being angry as a choice when it was no big deal. She is a FOUR year old for crying out loud, why should SHE be the one trying to fix things?
If you want an environment that best supports a happy, calm, joyful family...you might want to at least sift throught advice from folks that have exactly that...rather than dismiss it in such a disdainful manner.
Ren
Learn about unschooling at:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/unschoolingbasics/
effect of kicking out a single mother and her 4 year old son with no
place to go regardless of the situation because it is negativly
effecting my childs emotions."
For someone that has admitted to some very unhealthy dynamics and a lot of stress in the home, you're being pretty quick to judge the advice that's been given.
If you come to the list with a long list of unhappy problems, and we point out some ways you could reduce that load, you might want to at least consider where the advice is coming from.
You're talking to folks that HAVE found a happy balance, that have very respectful, happy kids that AREN'T being selfish. You're talking to people that don't have problems setting boundaries and keeping their family safe, yes, even from single parents that need help.
Do you want to ask why? Why are these families that advocate freedom, raising up such incredibly kind, empathetic, helpful individuals?
How can their advice help others do the same?
You've described a woman in your home that is using you, wrecking havoc with you and your family's emotions, yet you're upset because we're telling you your family is MORE important than her? Ok.
There are ways to try and help folks, without endangering the health of your own child and family. That is unacceptable to me. The things she's done to you and your family would be unacceptable in our home. I love myself too much to let someone hurt me, or anyone I love that way.
As far as being responsible for other people's feelings....
What is being advocated, is treating people with utmost respect and kindness, creating in your home EVERY possibility for happiness and joy, that is the part you CAN control.
We are responsible to control that which we CAN. So we do.
The part we CAN NOT control, is how other people feel. You and I are not responsible for other people's feelings, we ARE however, responsible to try and create the best possible atmosphere for a happy outcome.
Can you not see the difference?
Your poor child feels responsible for making Daddy angry. That was HIS choice, she's just being a four year old. In my book, HE should be the one making her a nice apology card for overreacting and treating her like she's stupid when she made a mistake. He is the adult, being angry as a choice when it was no big deal. She is a FOUR year old for crying out loud, why should SHE be the one trying to fix things?
If you want an environment that best supports a happy, calm, joyful family...you might want to at least sift throught advice from folks that have exactly that...rather than dismiss it in such a disdainful manner.
Ren
Learn about unschooling at:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/unschoolingbasics/