Elissa Jill Cleaveland

********Firstly, your
comment was quite hurtful to me***********
I was not trying to be hurtful at all. I was posting about an idea that was brought to the forum.
Adoption is a topic that has come up frequently and while I can't remember a time that I've chimed in with my ideas on the subject (usually it takes the form of I'm thinking of adopting what do you all think?) I've noticed quite frequently that in our society, adoption is frequently pointed out. That is the idea that I was commenting on.
I tried very hard to write about the idea rather than the OP's family.
****It would be helpful to me if you could qualify your position on this
as I can't tell whether you are coming from a position of hurt,
misinformation (about me and my journey - obviously you have your own
experience of adoption) or something completely different.*****

I'm not sure exactly what you mean by qualify. I guess that I feel that families are families, however they come to be. Again, I'm not talking specifically about you and your journey, just about the idea of how our society views adoptees.
*********I can assure you that, when our daughter is officially ours she will
be every bit as equal as our other children - I'm actually deeply
offended at any hint of a suggestion otherwise -********
There was no suggestion otherwise, not at all in my mind.
********however, the fact
that she is adopted will also be freely discussed with her as it is a
huge part of who she is.******
Of course! It is important, I'm not denying that.
*******I would like to think that one day she will
be proud to tell people she is adopted safe in the knowledge that she
is loved and lives and learns in a secure, loving environment and
having learned from that that adoption is not a dirty word (ie that
being described as an adoptee is neither hurtful nor unloving).******
I think that while being described that way (not by you in particular but by our society) is not intentionally hurtful or unloving, there is a potential to be faced with difficult moments. People say stupid stuff out of ignorance.
Again, I want to be clear that I was not talking about You and Your family, but about the idea that changing our words is very important in order to change our thinking.

Elissa Jill
A Kindersher saychel iz oychet a saychel.
"A Child's wisdom is also wisdom." ~Yiddish Proverb

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