Re: The Continuum Concept
[email protected]
In a message dated 7/21/2006 8:13:52 A.M. Eastern Standard Time,
[email protected] writes:
In her book The Continuum Concept, she also starts by saying that
what the children want is not a permissive parent but a "strong,
busy, central figure to whom he can be peripheral (...)". I thought
RU was about being parallel with our children...Need some
clarification!<<<<<
The book, The Continuum Concept, is not about radical unschooling. Although
I loved the book and that is what started our family on our path of living
consensually before we even had children. Here is a description from the
site:
"Though not written as a child-rearing manual, The Continuum Concept has
earned a reputation as an excellent resource for parents and parents-to-be who
intuitively feel that the parenting "techniques" of the modern era are
inherently misguided. It has also been helpful to many adults — parents and
non-parents alike — who hope to recover the natural state of happiness lost as a
result of the modern child-rearing practices of their well-meaning parents."
I do agree with her that children need to be able to see parents/adults in
action. My children need to see that I have interests and passions and see me
working at those. That is very much a part of it for us. And I believe my
husband and I are sort of like anchors or "central figures". Our boys know
they can always come to us, and we are strong individuals. We will be there
to help, guide, talk things over, just listen, whatever they need. And that
we will help the best we can. We do live consensually, but having a bit more
life experience, my boys know that we might have more information, more
insight, more ideas (although not always LOL).
Anyway this is getting long for me, LOL
Pam G
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected] writes:
In her book The Continuum Concept, she also starts by saying that
what the children want is not a permissive parent but a "strong,
busy, central figure to whom he can be peripheral (...)". I thought
RU was about being parallel with our children...Need some
clarification!<<<<<
The book, The Continuum Concept, is not about radical unschooling. Although
I loved the book and that is what started our family on our path of living
consensually before we even had children. Here is a description from the
site:
"Though not written as a child-rearing manual, The Continuum Concept has
earned a reputation as an excellent resource for parents and parents-to-be who
intuitively feel that the parenting "techniques" of the modern era are
inherently misguided. It has also been helpful to many adults — parents and
non-parents alike — who hope to recover the natural state of happiness lost as a
result of the modern child-rearing practices of their well-meaning parents."
I do agree with her that children need to be able to see parents/adults in
action. My children need to see that I have interests and passions and see me
working at those. That is very much a part of it for us. And I believe my
husband and I are sort of like anchors or "central figures". Our boys know
they can always come to us, and we are strong individuals. We will be there
to help, guide, talk things over, just listen, whatever they need. And that
we will help the best we can. We do live consensually, but having a bit more
life experience, my boys know that we might have more information, more
insight, more ideas (although not always LOL).
Anyway this is getting long for me, LOL
Pam G
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Ren Allen
"I think that too often, a mom will come here and complain that she has
no life---she gives it all to her children. She NEEDS her own life. And
her children NEED to see that too."
Yes. I mentioned in a recent post that having our "own life" includes
having children. They ARE central but what Kelly ( and I think Jean L)
are saying, is parents need to be living THEIR dreams.
Kids are part of our "dream life" obviously...a BIG part. But if
that's ALL a parent has, if her kids are her only passion and
interest, I don't believe that's a very helpful way to raise
unschoolers! It isn't showing your child what a passionate life looks
like. And I don't mean everyone in the world needs driving PASSIONS
going in a million different directions. A passionate life is more
about living in tune with yourself, your interests, your values and
living gratefully and abundantly!:)
Kelly and I read some article that used the tag "helicopter parents",
these parents that hover and are constantly checking their children,
micro-directing their activities etc...
While I don't think unschoolers are trying to direct their children's
activities constantly, I HAVE met folks trying to understand
unschooling that are so hyperfocused on their kids (and what the kids
are, or are not learning) that they seem to have no life if their own,
no interests, no driving passions.
I think some of our greatest moments unfold around here, when I'm deep
into some project of my own and the kids swirl in (and sometimes back
out). Art is a big part of my life, so I'll use that as an example.
I set up an art area in the garage. All of our supplies and such are
down there, it's a huge, happy mess. I made sure to put a desk and
chair for smaller people,so they can get to paper and other supplies
with ease. I was down there yesterday, creating spirit dolls. Sierra
wanders in and gets excited, so I help her start one of her own. Jalen
eventually joins us and starts painting and stamping.
This is a frequent scenario. I'm involved in something, and the kids
join in as they choose. All of the family has asked questions about
the dolls and given me their opinion on different ones. Our interests
overlap and affect each other, that's the way interests work.
While I was showing the boys a new doll, they were excitedly telling
me about their day on World of Warcraft and how they were killing off
Alliance characters from a vantage point that left the enemy baffled.
They were having SO much fun with it!
The whole point is, do the parents have activities they joyfully
participate in just because they enjoy it? Do the parents KNOW what
their interests and passions are? Are they actively pursuing the
things that bring joy? I think there's a balance of meeting our
children's needs and also having an interesting, full and bubbly life
that shows them what an authentic life looks like!
If you have very young children, it's hard to imagine having any
time...but it will come. And in the mean time, interests can be
adapted to fit around those very young children in smaller doses.:)
Ren
learninginfreedom.com
no life---she gives it all to her children. She NEEDS her own life. And
her children NEED to see that too."
Yes. I mentioned in a recent post that having our "own life" includes
having children. They ARE central but what Kelly ( and I think Jean L)
are saying, is parents need to be living THEIR dreams.
Kids are part of our "dream life" obviously...a BIG part. But if
that's ALL a parent has, if her kids are her only passion and
interest, I don't believe that's a very helpful way to raise
unschoolers! It isn't showing your child what a passionate life looks
like. And I don't mean everyone in the world needs driving PASSIONS
going in a million different directions. A passionate life is more
about living in tune with yourself, your interests, your values and
living gratefully and abundantly!:)
Kelly and I read some article that used the tag "helicopter parents",
these parents that hover and are constantly checking their children,
micro-directing their activities etc...
While I don't think unschoolers are trying to direct their children's
activities constantly, I HAVE met folks trying to understand
unschooling that are so hyperfocused on their kids (and what the kids
are, or are not learning) that they seem to have no life if their own,
no interests, no driving passions.
I think some of our greatest moments unfold around here, when I'm deep
into some project of my own and the kids swirl in (and sometimes back
out). Art is a big part of my life, so I'll use that as an example.
I set up an art area in the garage. All of our supplies and such are
down there, it's a huge, happy mess. I made sure to put a desk and
chair for smaller people,so they can get to paper and other supplies
with ease. I was down there yesterday, creating spirit dolls. Sierra
wanders in and gets excited, so I help her start one of her own. Jalen
eventually joins us and starts painting and stamping.
This is a frequent scenario. I'm involved in something, and the kids
join in as they choose. All of the family has asked questions about
the dolls and given me their opinion on different ones. Our interests
overlap and affect each other, that's the way interests work.
While I was showing the boys a new doll, they were excitedly telling
me about their day on World of Warcraft and how they were killing off
Alliance characters from a vantage point that left the enemy baffled.
They were having SO much fun with it!
The whole point is, do the parents have activities they joyfully
participate in just because they enjoy it? Do the parents KNOW what
their interests and passions are? Are they actively pursuing the
things that bring joy? I think there's a balance of meeting our
children's needs and also having an interesting, full and bubbly life
that shows them what an authentic life looks like!
If you have very young children, it's hard to imagine having any
time...but it will come. And in the mean time, interests can be
adapted to fit around those very young children in smaller doses.:)
Ren
learninginfreedom.com