Kimberly

I know many here are seeing the damage my roomate is doing. I wanted
to share the situation.

Her and her son where getting away from her EX in CA. She had no
place to live, and no job. BUT the company she worked for said they
would hire her out here. She had been my best friend for years, but
clearly not close as we lived 3000 miles away. I had no idea she was
like this, none at all.

So she moves away from everything she knew to start over and it
seems like she is not learning anything at all. It took her months to
start the job and then she got fired. We are NOW in a very bad way
when it comes to money, all the savings is gone and all the bills are
due.

Mean while she is still in the hospital for her breathing problems.
She is supposed to start her new job next week. He and I agree on few
things as it turns out. But I just can not kick her out. She smokes
out side as asked by us, she does not hit her son in front of my
family as we asked her, and she is working on not yelling at them.
But there is just something wrong with her.....

She wanted my husband to drop her son off to her at the hospital
tonight before his double shift. I asked who would pick him up and
she said he would stay over night with her and go home with her when
she is discarged. He is 4 years old! She has no money to buy food for
him and nothing for him to do. Her responce was that the nurses would
help her. They are not even letting her walk the halls yet. I told
her I would ask him and let her go, got sick of her complaing about
problems she has gotten her self into. So I call the hospital and ask
them about what she is planning and they say it will not happen and
if she tried they would be forced to call social services on her as
there is no one to get her son when my hubby is working and her
neighbor friend is away. So they said they would talk to her about
it. She calls me latter in short telling me off and saying she will
do what every she wants with her son and that she can not sleep
without him and on and on and on. All this time she told us he could
not sleep without her, thus they share a bed. The last few nights
have proven he has no problem sleeping with out Mommy. Soooo it shows
she is dependent on him emotionally not the other way around.
great... more problems. So in short she is not talking to me.

I am leaving it all up to hubby now. I have tried. I just have no
clue what else to do. If she stays and changes and works they we have
a chance to get out of the whole, if she leaves/kicked out, then we
will be in a bad way for a very long time and not even sure we could
make it. Having her hear has hurt us in ways I never thought of. I am
so sick of having the bleeding heart and always feeling like I need
to take care of other people out side my family. So blind I swear it.

Ok so that is the situation.

I am scared, and feel broken. But oddly, in those amazing moments I
have with the kids, none of matters. I swear I am living off of those
moments now.

Here is a small web page I am putting together for Crystal with
Pictures of her new hair!
http://www.geocities.com/kontessa_rose/Crystal.html

Blessings,
Kimmy

Jon and Rue Kream

Hi Kimmy - I can see it would be scary to not have the backup of your
roommate helping out financially - but really it's just the illusion of a
backup because not only has she been a drain on your family emotionally, but
it sounds like she has been financially as well.

Crystal is adorable. I love the way her smile comes out her eyes :0). ~Rue


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Robyn Coburn

<<<So in short she is not talking to me.

I am leaving it all up to hubby now. I have tried. I just have no
clue what else to do. If she stays and changes and works they we have
a chance to get out of the whole, if she leaves/kicked out, then we
will be in a bad way for a very long time and not even sure we could
make it. Having her hear has hurt us in ways I never thought of. I am
so sick of having the bleeding heart and always feeling like I need
to take care of other people out side my family. So blind I swear it.

Ok so that is the situation.

I am scared, and feel broken. But oddly, in those amazing moments I
have with the kids, none of matters. I swear I am living off of those
moments now. >>>

This is really starting to get beyond the scope of Unschooling issues to me,
and I feel very concerned for you and your little sweetheart. In fact I have
been vaguely worried about you ever since your earliest posts when you were
writing about self-control issues, and then your mysterious vomiting. It's
difficult to know how to respond.

Feeling "broken" is especially telling. You can't be a proper mother to your
dear little girl if you are broken.

She can't be responsible for your happiness either - it is too much for a
child to have to be your only source of joy. Believe me, I spent my
childhood feeling responsible for my mother's emotions, and it is amazing
how this dynamic can last for ever and color your relationship negatively.

Robyn L. Coburn

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Wendy E

Kimmy,
Crystal is just adorable. She sounds so much like my little boy,
Lucas. Sometimes I feel like he is going to drive me crazy! But he
is just the most amazing kid! I truly hope you can get out of the
roommate situation asap. I feel sorry for the little boy.... It
sounds like it is really causing problems with your family. Where
do you live again? I also hope you can find some peace with
yourself. You sound like a person whose heart and mind are in the
right place, you are just overburdened with more than your share of
life's stresses. Hang in there, and seek help if you feel you need
it.

Wendy
--- In [email protected], "Kimberly"
<Kontessa_Rose@h...> wrote:
> I know many here are seeing the damage my roomate is doing. I
wanted
> to share the situation.