I am a horrible mother.....
Kimberly
I am a rare girl who does not enjoy talking on the phone much. But
there are exceptions, and one is when friends need me. Today one
called and I talked to her as I cleaned house and even vacumed. The
problem is, while I was doing that my daugher and my roomates son
both almost 5 years old where in my daughters room playing. I kept
checking in on them, I had asked them to clean the room up a little
but it was no biggie that they desided playing was better for them
at the time. Tired and stressed and worried about friends I sit down
on the couch, hang up the phone, close my eyes and breath trying to
tell myself it could be worse. My roomate is in the hospital because
of uncontrolable asmah (sp?) and another friend is getting a
divorce, mother is in the hospital as well recovering from a gastro,
and my bills are piling up so badly that I can not go see anyone to
help. I needed to breath. No sooner do I open them do I notice the
little boy running to his room, and my daughter coming to jump on
me. Ok, hug time, I know it will help. Only there is something
wrong, my daughter has her hair cut! OMG! One side of her head with
her hair cut up to her ear.... I just want to cry. I did not yell,
but I did do something I wish I hadn't. I asked her what she did to
her hair and I know I had anger in my voice. She said she cut it,
and I told her that was wrong and she was in trouble and I was going
to tell her Daddy. I made a big deal about it even though I tried
not to. I found myself saying far fewer words then I wanted to but
still said too much. She ran to her bathroom to hide! I talked to
Hubby, and he reminded me it is only hair and it will grow. HE was
the peaceful parent for once. Thats new for him. I came out of my
room to find my daughter had cleaned her whole room by herself! She
told me she wanted me to not cry. In the end Hubby is right, but
goddess I feel like a horrible mother now. I talked to Crystal about
it after and told her the truth, that I am upset not so much about
her hair but because she did not ask me first so I could help make
sure it was done nice. I told her I was upset because I did not see
her doing it because I was pre-ocupied with other things. I told her
that if she wants short hair she can tell me and that tomorrow
morning her Daddy is going to take her to get her hair cut and maybe
the hair dresser will let her help cut her hair. She then tells me
she wants to have boy hair... and all I could do was force a smile
and say oh. Then it hit me to be silly, so I told her maybe we could
make her blond hair blue! And she with such a streight face said no
she wants green hair. I was laughing so hard then with her! It
helped.
But still I am left with a terrible feeling that I am a horrible
mother.
My roomate calls and just has to shove the knife further by saying
her son did not know to come tell me about it because Crystal does
so many bad things that I let her do that he does not know what to
think. WHAT? Does bad things? Goddess she got me upset. But I did
not say anything. I know what she is thinking. I let my daughter
jump on her bed, make some of her own food, wear what she wants,
help me cook, chase the cats with a water bottle, stay up most all
night if she wants.... SHE is one to talk. Here is my vent, be
warned! She hits her child with objects even like a big brush, she
yells at him all the time, often for just wanting to hug her when
she is stressed. SHE is the one that took him yesterday to the
hospital for 6 hours with no food and nothing to do! She is the one
that smokes a pack a day even though she has lung problems and her
son is depending on her to be healthy and she just refuses to quit.
SHE is the one that lets her son play out side with no adult
watching and no older children right next to a road where anyone
could take him. SHE is the one who forces him to read or she will
not pay attention to him. SHE is the one that takes him to a party
with drinking adults, her one of them and a unlocked gun on top of a
fridge not to mention other things. So I am little stressed and
upset. She is in the hospital because of her habbits and I am here
taking care of her son and all the bills as she is not working.
I want to cry....
On a different note. Does anyone have any ideas on what I should do
about my pixie baby wanting different color hair? Is their any safe
hair die for her age, something that does not cost too much but that
we can change every so often?
Blessings,
Kimmy
there are exceptions, and one is when friends need me. Today one
called and I talked to her as I cleaned house and even vacumed. The
problem is, while I was doing that my daugher and my roomates son
both almost 5 years old where in my daughters room playing. I kept
checking in on them, I had asked them to clean the room up a little
but it was no biggie that they desided playing was better for them
at the time. Tired and stressed and worried about friends I sit down
on the couch, hang up the phone, close my eyes and breath trying to
tell myself it could be worse. My roomate is in the hospital because
of uncontrolable asmah (sp?) and another friend is getting a
divorce, mother is in the hospital as well recovering from a gastro,
and my bills are piling up so badly that I can not go see anyone to
help. I needed to breath. No sooner do I open them do I notice the
little boy running to his room, and my daughter coming to jump on
me. Ok, hug time, I know it will help. Only there is something
wrong, my daughter has her hair cut! OMG! One side of her head with
her hair cut up to her ear.... I just want to cry. I did not yell,
but I did do something I wish I hadn't. I asked her what she did to
her hair and I know I had anger in my voice. She said she cut it,
and I told her that was wrong and she was in trouble and I was going
to tell her Daddy. I made a big deal about it even though I tried
not to. I found myself saying far fewer words then I wanted to but
still said too much. She ran to her bathroom to hide! I talked to
Hubby, and he reminded me it is only hair and it will grow. HE was
the peaceful parent for once. Thats new for him. I came out of my
room to find my daughter had cleaned her whole room by herself! She
told me she wanted me to not cry. In the end Hubby is right, but
goddess I feel like a horrible mother now. I talked to Crystal about
it after and told her the truth, that I am upset not so much about
her hair but because she did not ask me first so I could help make
sure it was done nice. I told her I was upset because I did not see
her doing it because I was pre-ocupied with other things. I told her
that if she wants short hair she can tell me and that tomorrow
morning her Daddy is going to take her to get her hair cut and maybe
the hair dresser will let her help cut her hair. She then tells me
she wants to have boy hair... and all I could do was force a smile
and say oh. Then it hit me to be silly, so I told her maybe we could
make her blond hair blue! And she with such a streight face said no
she wants green hair. I was laughing so hard then with her! It
helped.
But still I am left with a terrible feeling that I am a horrible
mother.
My roomate calls and just has to shove the knife further by saying
her son did not know to come tell me about it because Crystal does
so many bad things that I let her do that he does not know what to
think. WHAT? Does bad things? Goddess she got me upset. But I did
not say anything. I know what she is thinking. I let my daughter
jump on her bed, make some of her own food, wear what she wants,
help me cook, chase the cats with a water bottle, stay up most all
night if she wants.... SHE is one to talk. Here is my vent, be
warned! She hits her child with objects even like a big brush, she
yells at him all the time, often for just wanting to hug her when
she is stressed. SHE is the one that took him yesterday to the
hospital for 6 hours with no food and nothing to do! She is the one
that smokes a pack a day even though she has lung problems and her
son is depending on her to be healthy and she just refuses to quit.
SHE is the one that lets her son play out side with no adult
watching and no older children right next to a road where anyone
could take him. SHE is the one who forces him to read or she will
not pay attention to him. SHE is the one that takes him to a party
with drinking adults, her one of them and a unlocked gun on top of a
fridge not to mention other things. So I am little stressed and
upset. She is in the hospital because of her habbits and I am here
taking care of her son and all the bills as she is not working.
I want to cry....
On a different note. Does anyone have any ideas on what I should do
about my pixie baby wanting different color hair? Is their any safe
hair die for her age, something that does not cost too much but that
we can change every so often?
Blessings,
Kimmy
[email protected]
In a message dated 7/1/2004 8:16:09 PM US Eastern Standard Time,
Kontessa_Rose@... writes:
changed,,,and honestly after she has done this a couple of times,,the novelty will
wear off bee paitenct with your self,,everyone has the ''bad mommy
dayz''...fortunately,,,our kids are very forgiving,,,
peace and love to you mom,,,it will be ok...
June
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Kontessa_Rose@... writes:
> On a different note. Does anyone have any ideas on what I should doi've been told kool-aid works very well,,temporary color and can be
> about my pixie baby wanting different color hair? Is their any safe
> hair die for her age, something that does not cost too much but that
> we can change every so often?
>
> Blessings,
> Kimmy
>
>
changed,,,and honestly after she has done this a couple of times,,the novelty will
wear off bee paitenct with your self,,everyone has the ''bad mommy
dayz''...fortunately,,,our kids are very forgiving,,,
peace and love to you mom,,,it will be ok...
June
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Jon and Rue Kream
>>I talked to Crystal aboutit after and told her the truth,
**It sounds like you were able to explain your reaction and make her feel
better, and you both ended up laughing. We all mess up sometimes, Kimmy.
How we handle the messing up is important, and it sounds like you did great.
If her hair is very blond you might be able to use kool-aid. Also, CVS
carries a comb in color that washes out. It's a lot of fun.
I would tell your roommate it's time to find another place to live. Not
only is she adding stress to your life and interfering with your attempts to
build a better relationship with your daughter, but every time she hits her
son or demeans him your daughter internalizes that. ~Rue
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Nichole in Round Rock
Gosh....
Yeah, I have bad days from time to time, too, doing things I just can't believe I did--things that are totally out of character or out of synch with my personal philosophies, but I get consistently better all the time. So will you.
Why not just get some spray in color. It's like spray paint. You can get it at Sally's, if there's one near you. If you want to turn this into an interesting experiment, you can cook beats, or juice carrots, you can use spinach for green. Use a little peroxide and shampoo along with the juice of whatever you use, and just shampoo in and rinse out. Since your daughter is little, just use the regular peroxide, don't buy the 17 volume stuff. Then, use a good conditioner.
My daughter loves the spray paint kind and it's so easy, and easy to change.
Have fun with it.
It's interesting, once we start allowing our children to be autonomous, there's no stopping them. My daughter often reminds me that she is the one who gets to make the decisions about her dress, her hair, her diet, her education. Each little step toward complete autonomy is a little painful for us, I think, because we were raised to believe that kids can't do a damned thing without being told.
Lesson learned.
Move on.
Nichole
Unschooling mama to Margaux, the 7 year old woman
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Yeah, I have bad days from time to time, too, doing things I just can't believe I did--things that are totally out of character or out of synch with my personal philosophies, but I get consistently better all the time. So will you.
Why not just get some spray in color. It's like spray paint. You can get it at Sally's, if there's one near you. If you want to turn this into an interesting experiment, you can cook beats, or juice carrots, you can use spinach for green. Use a little peroxide and shampoo along with the juice of whatever you use, and just shampoo in and rinse out. Since your daughter is little, just use the regular peroxide, don't buy the 17 volume stuff. Then, use a good conditioner.
My daughter loves the spray paint kind and it's so easy, and easy to change.
Have fun with it.
It's interesting, once we start allowing our children to be autonomous, there's no stopping them. My daughter often reminds me that she is the one who gets to make the decisions about her dress, her hair, her diet, her education. Each little step toward complete autonomy is a little painful for us, I think, because we were raised to believe that kids can't do a damned thing without being told.
Lesson learned.
Move on.
Nichole
Unschooling mama to Margaux, the 7 year old woman
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Robyn Coburn
<<<On a different note. Does anyone have any ideas on what I should do
about my pixie baby wanting different color hair? Is their any safe
hair die for her age, something that does not cost too much but that
we can change every so often? >>>
Lots of people have used Kool Aid.
If I were in your position I would evict your room-mate or find another home
myself if it is her lease. I have zero tolerance for smoking around my
child, and if she lives there then she must be smoking around your child as
well as her own. Nor do I allow Jayn to be around people who hit their
children if at all possible.
This may not help you, but it seems like a self given haircut - a common
childhood action - pales into insignificance compared to having someone in
your home whose daily interactions with their own son are so very disruptive
to the peace of that home.
Robyn L. Coburn
---
Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free.
Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com).
Version: 6.0.707 / Virus Database: 463 - Release Date: 6/15/2004
about my pixie baby wanting different color hair? Is their any safe
hair die for her age, something that does not cost too much but that
we can change every so often? >>>
Lots of people have used Kool Aid.
If I were in your position I would evict your room-mate or find another home
myself if it is her lease. I have zero tolerance for smoking around my
child, and if she lives there then she must be smoking around your child as
well as her own. Nor do I allow Jayn to be around people who hit their
children if at all possible.
This may not help you, but it seems like a self given haircut - a common
childhood action - pales into insignificance compared to having someone in
your home whose daily interactions with their own son are so very disruptive
to the peace of that home.
Robyn L. Coburn
---
Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free.
Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com).
Version: 6.0.707 / Virus Database: 463 - Release Date: 6/15/2004
Betjeman and Barton Tea Merchants
Also there are colored mousses (is that a word LOL) for your hair - I saw a girl in walmart who had pink put in.. Apparently it washes out :-)
Karen in CT
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Karen in CT
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
AnneO
We've used colored mousse before ~ Sam has dressed up like Ron
Weasley three times in his life so far, and we've used the red
stuff. Works great, washes out ~ just don't lean your head back on
my couch until it's completely dry! ;-)
~ Anne
--- In [email protected], "Betjeman and Barton Tea
Merchants" <karen@b...> wrote:
out :-)
Weasley three times in his life so far, and we've used the red
stuff. Works great, washes out ~ just don't lean your head back on
my couch until it's completely dry! ;-)
~ Anne
--- In [email protected], "Betjeman and Barton Tea
Merchants" <karen@b...> wrote:
> Also there are colored mousses (is that a word LOL) for your hair -I saw a girl in walmart who had pink put in.. Apparently it washes
out :-)
>
> Karen in CT
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]