sometimes his passions make me nervious.
drusila00
this week my son has been making origami, there are literaly hundreds
of Origami creations filling his room, we were at a restraunt and he
made an origami swan from the napkin and the paper check list. he
refused to eat and made origami instead- he gave several people we
knew who work in the restraunt origami things- they didn't quite know
how to respond, looked confused but were polite.
he went around asking everyone if they did Origami too. no one did.
and he got a lot of weird looks.
We went to a campfire and he asked his dad to bring his origami book
and paper and a flashlight. he made Origami all night. we came home at
1 am. He went to his room and made Origami till he passed out at his
desk, he was up at 7 am Doing origami, he has not eaten despite my
sugestions that maybe he needs to do that and its now 5pm. he has been
going on like this a few days now. I wonder where this will go.
In the past his Dr has advised against allowing his intrests to become
an obsession and we have activly encouraged him to enjoy more than one
thing at a time, I wonder if this will become an issue if I do not
strongly encourage/remind him to eat, take a shower ect.
I am nervious. Does anyone else experiance this?
We met a deaf man last night who works with my husband, My son is now
very interested in learning ASL here is a websight I found for us to
learn more, I liked it and if anyone else has an interest you might
like it too.
http://www.aslpro.com/cgi-bin/aslpro/aslpro
so far We have been learning the signs to name his Origami creations
Ie; Duck, Swan, Snake ect ect ect..
of Origami creations filling his room, we were at a restraunt and he
made an origami swan from the napkin and the paper check list. he
refused to eat and made origami instead- he gave several people we
knew who work in the restraunt origami things- they didn't quite know
how to respond, looked confused but were polite.
he went around asking everyone if they did Origami too. no one did.
and he got a lot of weird looks.
We went to a campfire and he asked his dad to bring his origami book
and paper and a flashlight. he made Origami all night. we came home at
1 am. He went to his room and made Origami till he passed out at his
desk, he was up at 7 am Doing origami, he has not eaten despite my
sugestions that maybe he needs to do that and its now 5pm. he has been
going on like this a few days now. I wonder where this will go.
In the past his Dr has advised against allowing his intrests to become
an obsession and we have activly encouraged him to enjoy more than one
thing at a time, I wonder if this will become an issue if I do not
strongly encourage/remind him to eat, take a shower ect.
I am nervious. Does anyone else experiance this?
We met a deaf man last night who works with my husband, My son is now
very interested in learning ASL here is a websight I found for us to
learn more, I liked it and if anyone else has an interest you might
like it too.
http://www.aslpro.com/cgi-bin/aslpro/aslpro
so far We have been learning the signs to name his Origami creations
Ie; Duck, Swan, Snake ect ect ect..
Pampered Chef Michelle
On 5/13/06, drusila00 <drusila00@...> wrote:
origami? Could he make origami shapes that could hold easy to eat foods
such as nuts or raisins or cubes of cheese. He could eat while he folds.
Or maybe make him a smoothy with yogurt or ice cream and fruit. Something
he could drink while he works through his need to create. I look at all the
times that I have learned to do something and how I have been saddened by
other things that I need to do instead. Such as laundry, dishes, caring for
someone else's needs. Oh to have the freedom to create until I have become
"created out."
You could also sit with him and say something like, "I'm having a <peanut
butter sandwich>. Would you like a bite while you fold? Have you sat and
made origami with him? Is there truly anything wrong with making origami
night and day? There is plenty of time to eat and take showers. :-)
--
Michelle
Independent Kitchen Consultant #413652
The Pampered Chef
850-474-0817
http://www.pamperedchef.biz/michellelr
Ask me how you can save 60% on some of our most favorite products!
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>Do you truly think that your child is going to starve to death doing
> this week my son has been making origami, there are literaly hundreds
> of Origami creations filling his room, (snip), he has not eaten despite my
> sugestions that maybe he needs to do that and its now 5pm. he has been
> going on like this a few days now. I wonder where this will go.
> In the past his Dr has advised against allowing his intrests to become
> an obsession and we have activly encouraged him to enjoy more than one
> thing at a time, I wonder if this will become an issue if I do not
> strongly encourage/remind him to eat, take a shower ect.
> I am nervious. Does anyone else experiance this?
origami? Could he make origami shapes that could hold easy to eat foods
such as nuts or raisins or cubes of cheese. He could eat while he folds.
Or maybe make him a smoothy with yogurt or ice cream and fruit. Something
he could drink while he works through his need to create. I look at all the
times that I have learned to do something and how I have been saddened by
other things that I need to do instead. Such as laundry, dishes, caring for
someone else's needs. Oh to have the freedom to create until I have become
"created out."
You could also sit with him and say something like, "I'm having a <peanut
butter sandwich>. Would you like a bite while you fold? Have you sat and
made origami with him? Is there truly anything wrong with making origami
night and day? There is plenty of time to eat and take showers. :-)
--
Michelle
Independent Kitchen Consultant #413652
The Pampered Chef
850-474-0817
http://www.pamperedchef.biz/michellelr
Ask me how you can save 60% on some of our most favorite products!
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Christina Walker
There is also a series of videos called signing times. You can check
them out at the library. Check out their website at
http://www.signingtimes.com
My kids have used these for a year or more and can sign all kinds of
things. Including feelings(which is great for little ones also) My 3
year old loves it and my 6 year old is happy because he can interact
with deaf children instead of shying away from them.
Good Luck on this
chris
them out at the library. Check out their website at
http://www.signingtimes.com
My kids have used these for a year or more and can sign all kinds of
things. Including feelings(which is great for little ones also) My 3
year old loves it and my 6 year old is happy because he can interact
with deaf children instead of shying away from them.
Good Luck on this
chris
On Saturday, May 13, 2006, at 03:30 PM, drusila00 wrote:
> this week my son has been making origami, there are literaly hundreds
> of Origami creations filling his room, we were at a restraunt and he
> made an origami swan from the napkin and the paper check list. he
> refused to eat and made origami instead- he gave several people we
> knew who work in the restraunt origami things- they didn't quite know
> how to respond, looked confused but were polite.
> he went around asking everyone if they did Origami too. no one did.
> and he got a lot of weird looks.
> We went to a campfire and he asked his dad to bring his origami book
> and paper and a flashlight. he made Origami all night. we came home at
> 1 am. He went to his room and made Origami till he passed out at his
> desk, he was up at 7 am Doing origami, he has not eaten despite my
> sugestions that maybe he needs to do that and its now 5pm. he has been
> going on like this a few days now. I wonder where this will go.
> In the past his Dr has advised against allowing his intrests to become
> an obsession and we have activly encouraged him to enjoy more than one
> thing at a time, I wonder if this will become an issue if I do not
> strongly encourage/remind him to eat, take a shower ect.
> I am nervious. Does anyone else experiance this?
>
> We met a deaf man last night who works with my husband, My son is now
> very interested in learning ASL here is a websight I found for us to
> learn more, I liked it and if anyone else has an interest you might
> like it too.
> http://www.aslpro.com/cgi-bin/aslpro/aslpro
>
> so far We have been learning the signs to name his Origami creations
> Ie; Duck, Swan, Snake ect ect ect..
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> SPONSORED LINKS
<image.tiff>
>
>
<image.tiff>
>
> YAHOO! GROUPS LINKS
>
> + Visit your group "unschoolingbasics" on the web.
>
> + To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
> [email protected]
>
> + Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.
>
>
<image.tiff>
>
>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
drusila00
--- In [email protected], "Pampered Chef Michelle"
<pamperedmichelle@...> wrote:
eat foodssuch as nuts or raisins or cubes of cheese. He could eat
while he folds.Or maybe make him a smoothy with yogurt or ice cream
and fruit. Something he could drink while he works through his need
to create. I look at all the times that I have learned to do
something and how I have been saddened by other things that I need
to do instead. Such as laundry, dishes, caring for someone else's
needs. Oh to have the freedom to create until I have become"created
out."You could also sit with him and say something like, "I'm having
a <peanutbutter sandwich>. Would you like a bite while you fold?
Have you sat and made origami with him? Is there truly anything
wrong with making origami night and day? There is plenty of time to
eat and take showers. :-)
I don't know if anyone can have such a driving interest in things
that they will die of starvation. It does make me nervious when he
gets so intensly focused on one thing that he will not eat, it is
like a shift in his personality that is unexpected and hard for me
to understand, and the warning from his Dr makes me nervious as well
and of course I am a mother so I do get nervious because thats what
I do.
No, I have not made it with him. I have tried it in the past and
dislike it, I am not very good at it either, but I don't talk down
about it to him and he is perfectly happy to make it himself and
show it to me.
my son is 11 so does not want me feeding him at all heh, but I have
brought him food which he ignores, including the food at the
restraunt which for us is a big treat.
I never said there was anything wrong with being creative or
interested in somthing.
what I did say was that I was nervious and asked if anyone else had
experianced being nervious because of their child having an
intensely focused interest.
It doesnt seem from your reply like you have experianced that, but
thank you for your imput anyway.
<pamperedmichelle@...> wrote:
>doing origami? Could he make origami shapes that could hold easy to
> Do you truly think that your child is going to starve to death
eat foodssuch as nuts or raisins or cubes of cheese. He could eat
while he folds.Or maybe make him a smoothy with yogurt or ice cream
and fruit. Something he could drink while he works through his need
to create. I look at all the times that I have learned to do
something and how I have been saddened by other things that I need
to do instead. Such as laundry, dishes, caring for someone else's
needs. Oh to have the freedom to create until I have become"created
out."You could also sit with him and say something like, "I'm having
a <peanutbutter sandwich>. Would you like a bite while you fold?
Have you sat and made origami with him? Is there truly anything
wrong with making origami night and day? There is plenty of time to
eat and take showers. :-)
I don't know if anyone can have such a driving interest in things
that they will die of starvation. It does make me nervious when he
gets so intensly focused on one thing that he will not eat, it is
like a shift in his personality that is unexpected and hard for me
to understand, and the warning from his Dr makes me nervious as well
and of course I am a mother so I do get nervious because thats what
I do.
No, I have not made it with him. I have tried it in the past and
dislike it, I am not very good at it either, but I don't talk down
about it to him and he is perfectly happy to make it himself and
show it to me.
my son is 11 so does not want me feeding him at all heh, but I have
brought him food which he ignores, including the food at the
restraunt which for us is a big treat.
I never said there was anything wrong with being creative or
interested in somthing.
what I did say was that I was nervious and asked if anyone else had
experianced being nervious because of their child having an
intensely focused interest.
It doesnt seem from your reply like you have experianced that, but
thank you for your imput anyway.
Christina Walker
My sons passion with anything science can be pretty bad almost to a
obsession. In all honesty she was right. He will not starve. Just like
anyone else when they really get hungry they will stop long enough to
eat. Maybe limiting the time spent doing the origami will help. Like
say after you eat you can go do this.... I tell my son that he has to
do something else for awhile then can go back. I know this does go
against unschooling but sometimes I really feel we need to do something
else. If you go to the restraunt maybe the origami stuff needs to stay
home. I would just try limiting because it can make you nervous. He
will move onto a new passion one day, until then just
encourage(sometimes strongly) something new. Make a picnic at the park
with no paper around or something. My son is 6 and can be very
demanding when his wants are not met. But take your time and he will
move on to something else
And BTW congrats to him on doing them lol. I could never do them either
lol
chris
obsession. In all honesty she was right. He will not starve. Just like
anyone else when they really get hungry they will stop long enough to
eat. Maybe limiting the time spent doing the origami will help. Like
say after you eat you can go do this.... I tell my son that he has to
do something else for awhile then can go back. I know this does go
against unschooling but sometimes I really feel we need to do something
else. If you go to the restraunt maybe the origami stuff needs to stay
home. I would just try limiting because it can make you nervous. He
will move onto a new passion one day, until then just
encourage(sometimes strongly) something new. Make a picnic at the park
with no paper around or something. My son is 6 and can be very
demanding when his wants are not met. But take your time and he will
move on to something else
And BTW congrats to him on doing them lol. I could never do them either
lol
chris
On Saturday, May 13, 2006, at 03:30 PM, drusila00 wrote:
> this week my son has been making origami, there are literaly hundreds
> of Origami creations filling his room, we were at a restraunt and he
> made an origami swan from the napkin and the paper check list. he
> refused to eat and made origami instead- he gave several people we
> knew who work in the restraunt origami things- they didn't quite know
> how to respond, looked confused but were polite.
> he went around asking everyone if they did Origami too. no one did.
> and he got a lot of weird looks.
> We went to a campfire and he asked his dad to bring his origami book
> and paper and a flashlight. he made Origami all night. we came home at
> 1 am. He went to his room and made Origami till he passed out at his
> desk, he was up at 7 am Doing origami, he has not eaten despite my
> sugestions that maybe he needs to do that and its now 5pm. he has been
> going on like this a few days now. I wonder where this will go.
> In the past his Dr has advised against allowing his intrests to become
> an obsession and we have activly encouraged him to enjoy more than one
> thing at a time, I wonder if this will become an issue if I do not
> strongly encourage/remind him to eat, take a shower ect.
> I am nervious. Does anyone else experiance this?
>
> We met a deaf man last night who works with my husband, My son is now
> very interested in learning ASL here is a websight I found for us to
> learn more, I liked it and if anyone else has an interest you might
> like it too.
> http://www.aslpro.com/cgi-bin/aslpro/aslpro
>
> so far We have been learning the signs to name his Origami creations
> Ie; Duck, Swan, Snake ect ect ect..
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> SPONSORED LINKS
<image.tiff>
>
>
<image.tiff>
>
> YAHOO! GROUPS LINKS
>
> + Visit your group "unschoolingbasics" on the web.
>
> + To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
> [email protected]
>
> + Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.
>
>
<image.tiff>
>
>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Pampered Chef Michelle
On 5/13/06, drusila00 <drusila00@...> wrote:
Trouble attending to work that child understands poorly___ (Boredom,
disinterest?)
Requires one-to-one attention to get work done (what is they child doing and
is something the child wants to do?)
Impulsive (trouble waiting turn, blurts out answers)_____ (Excitement!)
Hyperactive (fidgity, trouble staying seated) _____ (Boredom?)
Disorganized _____ (I think the truly sick people are the overly organized.
And what defines disorganized?)
Homework not handed in _____ (boredom)
Inconsistent work and effort _____ (boredom)
Poor sense of time _____ (What time is it anyway?)
Does not seem to talk through problems _____ (Personality difference?)
Over-reacts _____ (by whose standards and about what?)
Easily overwhelmed _____ (some people are just like this - doesn't mean
there is something wrong with them)
Blows up easily _____ (ditto)
Trouble switching activities _____ (Intense passion or interest in what one
is doing - a need to complete a project)
Hyper-focused at times _____ (ditto)
Poor handwriting _____ (and this means what exactly?)
Certain academic tasks seem difficult (specifiy) _____ (so? I'm not good in
mathematics and struggle with that but it doesn't mean that there is
something wrong with me. It just means that I have other things I'm more
proficient at!)
Seems *deliberately* spiteful, cruel or annoying _____ (parents?
lifestyle?)
Anxious, edgy, stressed or painfully worried _____ (ditto)
Obsessive thoughts or fears; perseverative rituals_____ (ditto)
Irritated for hours or days on end (not just frequent, brief blow-ups)_____
(who hasn't had this happen?)
Depressed, sad, or unhappy _____ (shall we look at boredom or lifestyle
again?)
Extensive mood swings _____ (varied moods can be misinterpreted as
"extensive mood swings")
Tics: repetitive movements or noises _____ (this is very comforting to some
people. I count on my fingers when I'm nervous. Have since I was 2 or
3yo. Never have I been diagnosed with being ADHD)
Poor eye contact _____ (personality comfort zone issue)
Does not catch on to social cues _____ (some people are just not adept at
those things - it doesn't mean that there is something wrong with them!)
Limited range of interests and interactions _____ (sounds more like passion
than a problem. Maybe the people who go from one thing to another are the
ones with the lacking :) )
Unusual sensitivity to sounds, touch, textures, movement or taste_____
(Again, personality? I have issues with too much sound - doesn't mean that
there is something wrong with me! I just don't like loud noises - I have
perfect pitch and lots of lout noises tend to drive my "ear" up the wall)
Coordination difficulties _____ (I can't chew bubble gum and walk at the
same time.)
Now if I were to look at this checklist I could easily diagnose myself and
the rest of my family as adhd. That's scary as none of us fit into the
stereotypicalness of adhd. But a teacher or doctor could look at this
checklist and go "Oh this person has a problem." Maybe it isn't a problem
unless the teacher or doctor makes it one. Maybe the child's personality -
the essence of what makes that child unique - is comprised of these traits.
Without the child is not him/herself. I also have talked to so many parents
whose children used to be bright, curious, creative, and happy until they
started school, got "diagnosed" (usually by teachers) as adhd, got put on
medications to help "control the child" and lost their child. No more of
the things that made that child up, but at least now they can sit through
class.
--
Michelle
Independent Kitchen Consultant #413652
The Pampered Chef
850-474-0817
http://www.pamperedchef.biz/michellelr
Ask me how you can save 60% on some of our most favorite products!
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>Trouble attending to work that child understands well_____ (boredom?)
> I don't know if anyone can have such a driving interest in things
> that they will die of starvation. It does make me nervious when he
> gets so intensly focused on one thing that he will not eat, it is
> like a shift in his personality that is unexpected and hard for me
> to understand, and the warning from his Dr makes me nervious as well
> Why did your doctor warn you about this? Is he concerned that your child
> has a psychological issue and is this doctor a trained psychiatrist? I
> would never talk to my family doctor about any issues I would have with
> psychiatry basically because family practitioners (and pediatricians)
> usually have very little experience in psychiatry - usually only a rotation
> during their internships. Everything is textbook and I know some people who
> aren't doctors who are better read than doctors (on many medical fields.)
> It would be like talking to your podiatrist about your ovaries. :) This is
> why I cringe at pediatricians dispensing anti-depressants to children. Most
> pediatricians have a checklist for diagnoses and have parents check off
> symptoms then determine which psychotrophic drugs to give children based on
> a bunch of check marks. That's not good medicine.
>
> For instance here is a checklist of "signs of adhd" with my comments in
> ()'s
>
Trouble attending to work that child understands poorly___ (Boredom,
disinterest?)
Requires one-to-one attention to get work done (what is they child doing and
is something the child wants to do?)
Impulsive (trouble waiting turn, blurts out answers)_____ (Excitement!)
Hyperactive (fidgity, trouble staying seated) _____ (Boredom?)
Disorganized _____ (I think the truly sick people are the overly organized.
And what defines disorganized?)
Homework not handed in _____ (boredom)
Inconsistent work and effort _____ (boredom)
Poor sense of time _____ (What time is it anyway?)
Does not seem to talk through problems _____ (Personality difference?)
Over-reacts _____ (by whose standards and about what?)
Easily overwhelmed _____ (some people are just like this - doesn't mean
there is something wrong with them)
Blows up easily _____ (ditto)
Trouble switching activities _____ (Intense passion or interest in what one
is doing - a need to complete a project)
Hyper-focused at times _____ (ditto)
Poor handwriting _____ (and this means what exactly?)
Certain academic tasks seem difficult (specifiy) _____ (so? I'm not good in
mathematics and struggle with that but it doesn't mean that there is
something wrong with me. It just means that I have other things I'm more
proficient at!)
Seems *deliberately* spiteful, cruel or annoying _____ (parents?
lifestyle?)
Anxious, edgy, stressed or painfully worried _____ (ditto)
Obsessive thoughts or fears; perseverative rituals_____ (ditto)
Irritated for hours or days on end (not just frequent, brief blow-ups)_____
(who hasn't had this happen?)
Depressed, sad, or unhappy _____ (shall we look at boredom or lifestyle
again?)
Extensive mood swings _____ (varied moods can be misinterpreted as
"extensive mood swings")
Tics: repetitive movements or noises _____ (this is very comforting to some
people. I count on my fingers when I'm nervous. Have since I was 2 or
3yo. Never have I been diagnosed with being ADHD)
Poor eye contact _____ (personality comfort zone issue)
Does not catch on to social cues _____ (some people are just not adept at
those things - it doesn't mean that there is something wrong with them!)
Limited range of interests and interactions _____ (sounds more like passion
than a problem. Maybe the people who go from one thing to another are the
ones with the lacking :) )
Unusual sensitivity to sounds, touch, textures, movement or taste_____
(Again, personality? I have issues with too much sound - doesn't mean that
there is something wrong with me! I just don't like loud noises - I have
perfect pitch and lots of lout noises tend to drive my "ear" up the wall)
Coordination difficulties _____ (I can't chew bubble gum and walk at the
same time.)
Now if I were to look at this checklist I could easily diagnose myself and
the rest of my family as adhd. That's scary as none of us fit into the
stereotypicalness of adhd. But a teacher or doctor could look at this
checklist and go "Oh this person has a problem." Maybe it isn't a problem
unless the teacher or doctor makes it one. Maybe the child's personality -
the essence of what makes that child unique - is comprised of these traits.
Without the child is not him/herself. I also have talked to so many parents
whose children used to be bright, curious, creative, and happy until they
started school, got "diagnosed" (usually by teachers) as adhd, got put on
medications to help "control the child" and lost their child. No more of
the things that made that child up, but at least now they can sit through
class.
--
Michelle
Independent Kitchen Consultant #413652
The Pampered Chef
850-474-0817
http://www.pamperedchef.biz/michellelr
Ask me how you can save 60% on some of our most favorite products!
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
drusila00
--- In [email protected], "Pampered Chef Michelle"
<pamperedmichelle@...> wrote:
We started seeing Drs when my son was about 2 and did not speak a
buch of things followed and he has been seeing an Autisim specalist
who has said he has Aspergers Syndrome which is a mild form of
Autisim. this is the Dr I was speaking of.
I would never ever let an untrained person tell me my son had ADHD
or somthing.
<pamperedmichelle@...> wrote:
>he
> On 5/13/06, drusila00 <drusila00@...> wrote:
> >
> > I don't know if anyone can have such a driving interest in things
> > that they will die of starvation. It does make me nervious when
> > gets so intensly focused on one thing that he will not eat, it isme
> > like a shift in his personality that is unexpected and hard for
> > to understand, and the warning from his Dr makes me nervious aswell
> > Why did your doctor warn you about this? Is he concerned thatyour child
> > has a psychological issue and is this doctor a trainedpsychiatrist? >>
We started seeing Drs when my son was about 2 and did not speak a
buch of things followed and he has been seeing an Autisim specalist
who has said he has Aspergers Syndrome which is a mild form of
Autisim. this is the Dr I was speaking of.
I would never ever let an untrained person tell me my son had ADHD
or somthing.
Pampered Chef Michelle
On 5/13/06, Christina Walker <no1lefthere@...> wrote:
partner came to you and said, "You really need to stop doing that and go do
something else for a while?" I'd be pretty darned angry. Mayhaps a better
way of saying something would be, "You look fatigued. I was going to go for
a walk around the neighborhood. Would you like to join me? You could get a
breath of fresh air and we could talk about what you have been working on."
If you go to the restraunt maybe the origami stuff needs to stay
at home because someone else thought it wasn't appropriate. I would have
loved it if my children had had a "restrauntable" hobby like origami. Maybe
I would have enjoyed eating out more often instead of having bored
children. :)
I would just try limiting because it can make you nervous. He
Make a picnic at the park
depth of? Perhaps he will "move on" because he is ready. Or maybe he will
become a great origami artist and publish some books or sell his works.
--
Michelle
Independent Kitchen Consultant #413652
The Pampered Chef
850-474-0817
http://www.pamperedchef.biz/michellelr
Ask me how you can save 60% on some of our most favorite products!
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>How would you feel if you were intently working on something and your
> Maybe limiting the time spent doing the origami will help. Like
> say after you eat you can go do this.... I tell my son that he has to
> do something else for awhile then can go back. I know this does go
> against unschooling but sometimes I really feel we need to do something
> else.
partner came to you and said, "You really need to stop doing that and go do
something else for a while?" I'd be pretty darned angry. Mayhaps a better
way of saying something would be, "You look fatigued. I was going to go for
a walk around the neighborhood. Would you like to join me? You could get a
breath of fresh air and we could talk about what you have been working on."
If you go to the restraunt maybe the origami stuff needs to stay
> home.I knit everywhere. I'd be pretty ticked if I was told to leave my knitting
at home because someone else thought it wasn't appropriate. I would have
loved it if my children had had a "restrauntable" hobby like origami. Maybe
I would have enjoyed eating out more often instead of having bored
children. :)
I would just try limiting because it can make you nervous. He
> will move onto a new passion one day, until then justWhy? Why encourage something new if this passion hasn't been satiated yet?
> encourage(sometimes strongly) something new.
Make a picnic at the park
> with no paper around or something. My son is 6 and can be veryWhy should he move on because he has a passion that you don't understand the
> demanding when his wants are not met. But take your time and he will
> move on to something else
depth of? Perhaps he will "move on" because he is ready. Or maybe he will
become a great origami artist and publish some books or sell his works.
--
Michelle
Independent Kitchen Consultant #413652
The Pampered Chef
850-474-0817
http://www.pamperedchef.biz/michellelr
Ask me how you can save 60% on some of our most favorite products!
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Melissa
We have two kids like that, won't go into causation, but my husband
and I were just talking today about how very passionate Rachel is
about art. She is doing projects all day, she falls asleep with
scissors and glue in hand, our folding table always has her stuff on
it. We could be worried about it, but we are choosing to believe that
this dedication and passion will lead her to happiness and success.
Josh's passions tend to be a little less, hm, socially acceptable.
Okay, maybe not his passions, but his way of sharing passions. Kind
of like you described, talking to everyone, even when they are bored
he goes on and on. Once he kept going even while another person
started to walk away! I try to listen as much as possible, to help
him because he LOVES to share. And we have ongoing discussions that
sometime other people aren't going to be as interested as he is, and
like playing a board game, we sometimes take turns discussing stuff.
And we trusted the energy around him. Instead of being worried about
his feelings or embarrassed, we stand by him and let him talk. He
makes a lot of friends, and he's learned a lot too, from people who
*are* interested in the same or similar topics. We've guided him into
storing his thoughts in alternate media, so he loves doing power
point presentations and websites.
Part of it also is that my father is so much like that, never sleeps
or eats when he's involved in a new passion, it's all he talks about,
he will manage to turn any conversation into his passion (whether by
manipulating one sentence at a time or by just ignoring what you say
and starting where he wants) So we're kind of used to it. We know how
to kindly say, "Enough dad! I'm glad, but I would like to do x or
talk about y" And that's okay...as long as we've spend some time
listening to him and validating his interests. He *will* stop to eat
when he's fainting from hunger. Or we bring him stuff when we're
there. Baths are optional. I think all geniuses have a bit of the
passion in them ;-)
Not that I'm at all helpful, but I understand where you are coming
from, and wanted to affirm your trust in your child. The only way to
get through a passion is to let the fire burn until it's done!
Melissa
Mom to Josh (11), Breanna (8), Emily (7), Rachel (6), Sam (4), Dan
(2), and Avari Rose
share our lives at
http://360.yahoo.com/multimomma
and I were just talking today about how very passionate Rachel is
about art. She is doing projects all day, she falls asleep with
scissors and glue in hand, our folding table always has her stuff on
it. We could be worried about it, but we are choosing to believe that
this dedication and passion will lead her to happiness and success.
Josh's passions tend to be a little less, hm, socially acceptable.
Okay, maybe not his passions, but his way of sharing passions. Kind
of like you described, talking to everyone, even when they are bored
he goes on and on. Once he kept going even while another person
started to walk away! I try to listen as much as possible, to help
him because he LOVES to share. And we have ongoing discussions that
sometime other people aren't going to be as interested as he is, and
like playing a board game, we sometimes take turns discussing stuff.
And we trusted the energy around him. Instead of being worried about
his feelings or embarrassed, we stand by him and let him talk. He
makes a lot of friends, and he's learned a lot too, from people who
*are* interested in the same or similar topics. We've guided him into
storing his thoughts in alternate media, so he loves doing power
point presentations and websites.
Part of it also is that my father is so much like that, never sleeps
or eats when he's involved in a new passion, it's all he talks about,
he will manage to turn any conversation into his passion (whether by
manipulating one sentence at a time or by just ignoring what you say
and starting where he wants) So we're kind of used to it. We know how
to kindly say, "Enough dad! I'm glad, but I would like to do x or
talk about y" And that's okay...as long as we've spend some time
listening to him and validating his interests. He *will* stop to eat
when he's fainting from hunger. Or we bring him stuff when we're
there. Baths are optional. I think all geniuses have a bit of the
passion in them ;-)
Not that I'm at all helpful, but I understand where you are coming
from, and wanted to affirm your trust in your child. The only way to
get through a passion is to let the fire burn until it's done!
Melissa
Mom to Josh (11), Breanna (8), Emily (7), Rachel (6), Sam (4), Dan
(2), and Avari Rose
share our lives at
http://360.yahoo.com/multimomma
On May 13, 2006, at 3:30 PM, drusila00 wrote:
> this week my son has been making origami, there are literaly hundreds
> of Origami creations filling his room, we were at a restraunt and he
> made an origami swan from the napkin and the paper check list. he
> refused to eat and made origami instead- he gave several people we
> knew who work in the restraunt origami things- they didn't quite know
> how to respond, looked confused but were polite.
> he went around asking everyone if they did Origami too. no one did.
> and he got a lot of weird looks.
> We went to a campfire and he asked his dad to bring his origami book
> and paper and a flashlight. he made Origami all night. we came home at
> 1 am. He went to his room and made Origami till he passed out at his
> desk, he was up at 7 am Doing origami, he has not eaten despite my
> sugestions that maybe he needs to do that and its now 5pm. he has been
> going on like this a few days now. I wonder where this will go.
> In the past his Dr has advised against allowing his intrests to become
> an obsession and we have activly encouraged him to enjoy more than one
> thing at a time, I wonder if this will become an issue if I do not
> strongly encourage/remind him to eat, take a shower ect.
> I am nervious. Does anyone else experiance this?
>
Melissa
Hey, I already posted, but my kids are all aspie! It's awesome
sometimes. It's not all good, but being home is the best way for my
kids to live fulfilling, unblemished lives.
Melissa
Mom to Josh (11), Breanna (8), Emily (7), Rachel (6), Sam (4), Dan
(2), and Avari Rose
share our lives at
http://360.yahoo.com/multimomma
sometimes. It's not all good, but being home is the best way for my
kids to live fulfilling, unblemished lives.
Melissa
Mom to Josh (11), Breanna (8), Emily (7), Rachel (6), Sam (4), Dan
(2), and Avari Rose
share our lives at
http://360.yahoo.com/multimomma
On May 13, 2006, at 5:47 PM, drusila00 wrote:
>
> We started seeing Drs when my son was about 2 and did not speak a
> buch of things followed and he has been seeing an Autisim specalist
> who has said he has Aspergers Syndrome which is a mild form of
> Autisim. this is the Dr I was speaking of.
> I would never ever let an untrained person tell me my son had ADHD
> or somthing.
>
[email protected]
>>what I did say was that I was nervious and asked if anyone else hadexperianced being nervious because of their child having an
intensely focused interest.>>
At one time or another I have probably been nervous about most everything involving my kids. <g> Origami probably wouldn't be tops on my nerve wracking list yhough, unless he was doing it 24/7 for 6 months or more. Not likely.
From what you've described it sounds like your son just gets intense over things he's interested in. I think this is normal, even if he seems on the extreme end of the spectrum right now. My dd Qacei can get like that. I've learned through the years to take a deep breath, appreciate the interest for all its possibilities and watch it unfold over time. Eventually they move on, branch out or add to what they're doing. And that passion and intensity are a gift. It will serve them well in life when focus is needed.
>>the warning from his Dr makes me nervious as well >>I don't understand why the Dr. gave this warning. Was there some reason behind it? Did something happen previously due to your son's intnse focus?
--
~Mary
http://zenmommasgarden.blogspot.com/
"The miracle is not to walk on water. The miracle is to walk on the
green earth, dwelling deeply in the present moment and feeling truly
alive."
~Thich Nhat Hanh
-------------- Original message ----------------------
From: "drusila00" <drusila00@...>
drusila00
Then you know what I mean about being very intense. thanks for the
support, sometimes I feel like the only one and it helps to know that
isn't true.
--- In [email protected], Melissa <autismhelp@...>
wrote:
support, sometimes I feel like the only one and it helps to know that
isn't true.
--- In [email protected], Melissa <autismhelp@...>
wrote:
>
> Hey, I already posted, but my kids are all aspie! It's awesome
> sometimes.
[email protected]
>>Maybe limiting the time spent doing the origami will help. Likesay after you eat you can go do this.... I tell my son that he has to
do something else for awhile then can go back. I know this does go
against unschooling but sometimes I really feel we need to do something
else. >>
It's not about going against unschooling. It's about possibly going against something your child is deriving great benefit from. It's about setting ourselves up as their adversaries rather than their partners in this world.
I agree that helping a child shift focus is sometimes in order. I'm all for parenting. :o) I just don't think we need to swoop in and deny them the pleasure of their chosen activity just because they're incredibly focused on it right now.
--
~Mary
http://zenmommasgarden.blogspot.com/
"The miracle is not to walk on water. The miracle is to walk on the
green earth, dwelling deeply in the present moment and feeling truly
alive."
~Thich Nhat Hanh
-------------- Original message ----------------------
From: Christina Walker <no1lefthere@...>
[email protected]
>>I would never ever let an untrained person tell me my son had ADHDor somthing.>>
I myself have learned to be very wary of the "diagnosis" from the trained professionals too. There is no test for Asperger's. They just look for a set of traits, the same as for ADHD. I'm not saying the diagnosis is inaccurate BTW. This is just a reminder to question the experts too. :o)
BTW I wonder if Bill Gates doctor cautioned his mom not to let him focus on computers so much? It's been noted that he's an Aspie.
--
~Mary
http://zenmommasgarden.blogspot.com/
"The miracle is not to walk on water. The miracle is to walk on the
green earth, dwelling deeply in the present moment and feeling truly
alive."
~Thich Nhat Hanh
-------------- Original message ----------------------
From: "drusila00" <drusila00@...>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
>>My son is 6 and can be very demanding when his wants are not met.>>With Qacei I preferred to look at it her being very persistent about getting her needs met. She has high standards and likes things the proper way to suit her specifications. That's a trait that will serve her well in this world. I do it too. :o) Of course over time, we've both learned to be more flexible.
--
~Mary
http://zenmommasgarden.blogspot.com/
"The miracle is not to walk on water. The miracle is to walk on the
green earth, dwelling deeply in the present moment and feeling truly
alive."
~Thich Nhat Hanh
-------------- Original message ----------------------
From: "Pampered Chef Michelle" <pamperedmichelle@...>
drusila00
Because he was Dx'd as an aspie the Dr said we should try to keep
any one interest from becoming an obsession because of the tendency
of kids like my son to Self isolate and kind of fade away from
the "real world" when a focused interest is so intense. And also
because the interest can become a barrier many times to social
acceptance from others.
example: If the origami ended up being somthing he became so focused
on that he couldnt relate to anyone because all he would talk about
when he talked would be Origami then he would have a dificult time
in social situations because others would find him to be strange,
scary, disruptive and booring.
He would have an extreemly hard time wondering why no one wanted to
talk to him or invite him over ect.
At least that is how it was explained to us.
any one interest from becoming an obsession because of the tendency
of kids like my son to Self isolate and kind of fade away from
the "real world" when a focused interest is so intense. And also
because the interest can become a barrier many times to social
acceptance from others.
example: If the origami ended up being somthing he became so focused
on that he couldnt relate to anyone because all he would talk about
when he talked would be Origami then he would have a dificult time
in social situations because others would find him to be strange,
scary, disruptive and booring.
He would have an extreemly hard time wondering why no one wanted to
talk to him or invite him over ect.
At least that is how it was explained to us.
--- In [email protected], zenmomma@... wrote:
>I don't understand why the Dr. gave this warning. Was there some
reason behind
it? Did something happen previously due to your son's intnse focus?
[email protected]
In a message dated 5/13/2006 7:56:43 P.M. US Eastern Standard Time,
drusila00@... writes:
example: If the origami ended up being somthing he became so focused
on that he couldnt relate to anyone because all he would talk about
when he talked would be Origami then he would have a dificult time
in social situations because others would find him to be strange,
scary, disruptive and booring.
I have to say that I do this, only in a different way. I either talk to ppl
about horse or my kids. And I know I've become boring to ppl not interested
in those subjects.
Mandy
(http://www.baby-gaga.com/) (http://www.baby-gaga.com/)
(http://www.baby-gaga.com/) (http://www.baby-gaga.com/)
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
drusila00@... writes:
example: If the origami ended up being somthing he became so focused
on that he couldnt relate to anyone because all he would talk about
when he talked would be Origami then he would have a dificult time
in social situations because others would find him to be strange,
scary, disruptive and booring.
I have to say that I do this, only in a different way. I either talk to ppl
about horse or my kids. And I know I've become boring to ppl not interested
in those subjects.
Mandy
(http://www.baby-gaga.com/) (http://www.baby-gaga.com/)
(http://www.baby-gaga.com/) (http://www.baby-gaga.com/)
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
>>Then you know what I mean about being very intense. thanks for thesupport, sometimes I feel like the only one and it helps to know that
isn't true.>>
You are most definitely NOT alone. :o) Many of us have kids who are extremely intense, focused, high enery, sensitive, etc. We just choose not to get them labelled or to walk away from the labels they had been given. I wrote about my experience with my son in this way. Maybe something in there will help. Conor is now 17 and still quirky as ever. He's also sharp, interesting, and comfortable in his own skin. He works shifts at our restaurant, reads up a storm, has friends of all ages and is all about trying new things. (I like him :o))
http://sandradodd.com/special/mary
--
~Mary
http://zenmommasgarden.blogspot.com/
"The miracle is not to walk on water. The miracle is to walk on the
green earth, dwelling deeply in the present moment and feeling truly
alive."
~Thich Nhat Hanh
[email protected]
>>And also because the interest can become a barrier many times to socialacceptance from others. >>
Or it can become a gateway to connecting with others that have the same interests. I would bet this doctor has mostly met schooled kids. In school, it's all about fitting in. In unschooling, it's about the freedom to be Who You Are.
My son is passionate (obsessive?) about Japanese Anime. He downloads it, watches it, reads it, draws it, dresses in costume, acts it out, etc. It has brought him so much joy over the years. He has made friends online and IRL through this passion. He probably would have been mocked in school. Good thing he's not in school. <g>
--
~Mary
http://zenmommasgarden.blogspot.com/
"The miracle is not to walk on water. The miracle is to walk on the
green earth, dwelling deeply in the present moment and feeling truly
alive."
~Thich Nhat Hanh
-------------- Original message ----------------------
From: "drusila00" <drusila00@...>
[email protected]
>>I have to say that I do this, only in a different way. I either talk to pplabout horse or my kids. And I know I've become boring to ppl not interested
in those subjects. >>
But aren't they kind of boring to you too then? THey don't "get" what's so cool about your passions.
--
~Mary
http://zenmommasgarden.blogspot.com/
"The miracle is not to walk on water. The miracle is to walk on the
green earth, dwelling deeply in the present moment and feeling truly
alive."
~Thich Nhat Hanh
-------------- Original message ----------------------
From: LuvnMomma24boys@...
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Paige
--- In [email protected], "drusila00" <drusila00@...>
wrote:
hobby and you are worried about a problem with it being all he thinks
about, you end by saying he is also interested in ASL... Obviously he
isn't only interested in origami...he is thinking of something else,
too.
Lots of people get really into their projects, especially when they
first begin to learn.
:)Paige
wrote:
>hundreds
> this week my son has been making origami, there are literaly
> of Origami creations filling his room,now
> We met a deaf man last night who works with my husband, My son is
> very interested in learning ASLOkay, although your post is about him taking off and flying with a new
> so far We have been learning the signs to name his Origami creations
> Ie; Duck, Swan, Snake ect ect ect..
hobby and you are worried about a problem with it being all he thinks
about, you end by saying he is also interested in ASL... Obviously he
isn't only interested in origami...he is thinking of something else,
too.
Lots of people get really into their projects, especially when they
first begin to learn.
:)Paige
Christina Walker
I will say demanding is actually putting it lightly for my son. He has
a extremely bad temper(and yes we have seen the doc on this) after a
horrific year for our whole family it has been worse. I guess our house
works a little diff because we do have to limit TV and such. My oldest
has a violent temper and youngest mimics what he sees in big bubba. We
limit certain things just to get my kids to go outside and get fresh
air. Sorry for putting my 2 cents in. I am now realizing that maybe I
should not have opened my mouth at all. I don't tell my kids they can
not do certain things, but I do have limits when we just want to sit
down and eat. It worked for us never aid it would for anyone else..
Being the newbie I guess I don't know anything. But ya know I am the
one who had to deal with him taking scissors to a kids ear in school
for not getting his way. I guess we do unschool in some ways and not
others. Both my husband and I work full time on separate shifts. So he
does stuff in the morning I do in the evening. So maybe I need to move
to the homeschool group because we still have schedules to keep here
a extremely bad temper(and yes we have seen the doc on this) after a
horrific year for our whole family it has been worse. I guess our house
works a little diff because we do have to limit TV and such. My oldest
has a violent temper and youngest mimics what he sees in big bubba. We
limit certain things just to get my kids to go outside and get fresh
air. Sorry for putting my 2 cents in. I am now realizing that maybe I
should not have opened my mouth at all. I don't tell my kids they can
not do certain things, but I do have limits when we just want to sit
down and eat. It worked for us never aid it would for anyone else..
Being the newbie I guess I don't know anything. But ya know I am the
one who had to deal with him taking scissors to a kids ear in school
for not getting his way. I guess we do unschool in some ways and not
others. Both my husband and I work full time on separate shifts. So he
does stuff in the morning I do in the evening. So maybe I need to move
to the homeschool group because we still have schedules to keep here
On Saturday, May 13, 2006, at 07:53 PM, zenmomma@... wrote:
> >>My son is 6 and can be very demanding when his wants are not met.>>
>
> With Qacei I preferred to look at it her being very persistent about
> getting her needs met. She has high standards and likes things the
> proper way to suit her specifications. That's a trait that will serve
> her well in this world. I do it too. :o) Of course over time, we've
> both learned to be more flexible.
>
> --
> ~Mary
> http://zenmommasgarden.blogspot.com/
>
> "The miracle is not to walk on water. The miracle is to walk on the
> green earth, dwelling deeply in the present moment and feeling truly
> alive."
> ~Thich Nhat Hanh
>
> -------------- Original message ----------------------
> From: "Pampered Chef Michelle" <pamperedmichelle@...>
>
>
>
>
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
-----Original Message-----
From: Christina Walker <no1lefthere@...>
I will say demanding is actually putting it lightly for my son. He
has
a extremely bad temper(and yes we have seen the doc on this) after a
horrific year for our whole family it has been worse.
-=-=-=-=-
If it's been an horrific year for the whole famiily, why would you
assume that a *child* can handle it all? Why *wouldn't* he have a bad
temper?
Adults with *years* of experience of "handling" things STILL get angry
and frustrated and demanding. But a *child* in the same boat---withOUT
the experience---is made out to be absolutely impossible to deal
with---and needs to see a doctor??
Cut him a break! He's young!
-=-=-=-=-
I guess our house works a little diff because we do have to limit TV
and such.
-=-=-=-=-
Yes, our houses certainly work differently. We don't "have to" do
anything like that. And my kids aren't angry or bad-tempered.
-=-=-=-=-=-
We limit certain things just to get my kids to go outside and get fresh
air.
-=-=-=-=-
I just can't imagine having a child who doesn't like to be outside, but
I guess there are many people who just prefer to be indoors. Do you
think they will be like this as adults? And if they were, do you think
their bosses would make them go out for fresh air? What makes adults
choose freah air? Other people in power?
Are *you* regularly in the fresh air? Modelling? Does it make you feel
better? Can they see that?
Can you at least open a window?
-=-=-=--=-
Sorry for putting my 2 cents in. I am now realizing that maybe I
should not have opened my mouth at all.
-=-=-=-
Yeah, well we suggest that people not post if they are unwilling to
have what they write held up for examination.
-=-=--
I don't tell my kids they can not do certain things, but I do have
limits when we just want to sit down and eat.
-=-=-=-=-
If "we" just want to sit down and eat, why do things have to be
limited?
I mean, if the children are considered part of the "we"---why would
they need to be made to sit down and eat? If they are part of the
"we"---wouldn't they *want* to sit down too?
Or is "we" just the adults?
And is the only time you "need" to limit their activities *only* when
you want to sit down and eat? Or is it also when *you* feel it's time
for fresh air?
Any other times?
-=-=-=-==-
It worked for us never aid it would for anyone else.
-=-=-=-=-=-=
But that's not good unschooling advice.
Make your kids go outside. Limit their favorite activities. Make them
sit down and eat when someone else says to. There are things they
"have" to do because you say so...
Maybe there's another reason for the demanding attitude and the
extremely bad temper you're experiencing.
And ummm---how's that "working" for you, anyway?
-=-=-=-=-
Being the newbie I guess I don't know anything. But ya know I am the
one who had to deal with him taking scissors to a kids ear in school
for not getting his way.
-=-=-=-===-=-
Feeling impotent is a huge deal. If you *never* got your way, how would
*you* react?
I bet there was something going on a bit deeper than not getting his
way this one time at school.
Frustration. Impotence. Helplessness. They can all lead to "demanding"
and "an extremely bad temper."
I guess the opposite reaction would be to shut down completely.
The huge amount of impotence, frustration, and helplessness kids feel
at school has lead to two extremes: Columbine (on the anger side) and
suicide (on the shut down side).
-=-=-=-=-
I guess we do unschool in some ways and not
others. Both my husband and I work full time on separate shifts. So he
does stuff in the morning I do in the evening. So maybe I need to move
to the homeschool group because we still have schedules to keep here
-=-=-=-
Havetohavetohaveto.
MUCH better to see things as CHOOSETOCHOOSETOCHOOSETO. Empowering!
Life-expanding! Enabling!
You are welcome to stay here. I *know* your children would appreciate
it. But it might not be the approach for you.
~Kelly
Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
http://liveandlearnconference.org
“Learn as if you were going to live forever.
Live as if you were going to die tomorrow.” ~ Mahatma Gandhi
From: Christina Walker <no1lefthere@...>
I will say demanding is actually putting it lightly for my son. He
has
a extremely bad temper(and yes we have seen the doc on this) after a
horrific year for our whole family it has been worse.
-=-=-=-=-
If it's been an horrific year for the whole famiily, why would you
assume that a *child* can handle it all? Why *wouldn't* he have a bad
temper?
Adults with *years* of experience of "handling" things STILL get angry
and frustrated and demanding. But a *child* in the same boat---withOUT
the experience---is made out to be absolutely impossible to deal
with---and needs to see a doctor??
Cut him a break! He's young!
-=-=-=-=-
I guess our house works a little diff because we do have to limit TV
and such.
-=-=-=-=-
Yes, our houses certainly work differently. We don't "have to" do
anything like that. And my kids aren't angry or bad-tempered.
-=-=-=-=-=-
We limit certain things just to get my kids to go outside and get fresh
air.
-=-=-=-=-
I just can't imagine having a child who doesn't like to be outside, but
I guess there are many people who just prefer to be indoors. Do you
think they will be like this as adults? And if they were, do you think
their bosses would make them go out for fresh air? What makes adults
choose freah air? Other people in power?
Are *you* regularly in the fresh air? Modelling? Does it make you feel
better? Can they see that?
Can you at least open a window?
-=-=-=--=-
Sorry for putting my 2 cents in. I am now realizing that maybe I
should not have opened my mouth at all.
-=-=-=-
Yeah, well we suggest that people not post if they are unwilling to
have what they write held up for examination.
-=-=--
I don't tell my kids they can not do certain things, but I do have
limits when we just want to sit down and eat.
-=-=-=-=-
If "we" just want to sit down and eat, why do things have to be
limited?
I mean, if the children are considered part of the "we"---why would
they need to be made to sit down and eat? If they are part of the
"we"---wouldn't they *want* to sit down too?
Or is "we" just the adults?
And is the only time you "need" to limit their activities *only* when
you want to sit down and eat? Or is it also when *you* feel it's time
for fresh air?
Any other times?
-=-=-=-==-
It worked for us never aid it would for anyone else.
-=-=-=-=-=-=
But that's not good unschooling advice.
Make your kids go outside. Limit their favorite activities. Make them
sit down and eat when someone else says to. There are things they
"have" to do because you say so...
Maybe there's another reason for the demanding attitude and the
extremely bad temper you're experiencing.
And ummm---how's that "working" for you, anyway?
-=-=-=-=-
Being the newbie I guess I don't know anything. But ya know I am the
one who had to deal with him taking scissors to a kids ear in school
for not getting his way.
-=-=-=-===-=-
Feeling impotent is a huge deal. If you *never* got your way, how would
*you* react?
I bet there was something going on a bit deeper than not getting his
way this one time at school.
Frustration. Impotence. Helplessness. They can all lead to "demanding"
and "an extremely bad temper."
I guess the opposite reaction would be to shut down completely.
The huge amount of impotence, frustration, and helplessness kids feel
at school has lead to two extremes: Columbine (on the anger side) and
suicide (on the shut down side).
-=-=-=-=-
I guess we do unschool in some ways and not
others. Both my husband and I work full time on separate shifts. So he
does stuff in the morning I do in the evening. So maybe I need to move
to the homeschool group because we still have schedules to keep here
-=-=-=-
Havetohavetohaveto.
MUCH better to see things as CHOOSETOCHOOSETOCHOOSETO. Empowering!
Life-expanding! Enabling!
You are welcome to stay here. I *know* your children would appreciate
it. But it might not be the approach for you.
~Kelly
Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
http://liveandlearnconference.org
“Learn as if you were going to live forever.
Live as if you were going to die tomorrow.” ~ Mahatma Gandhi
Joyce Fetteroll
On May 13, 2006, at 11:39 PM, Christina Walker wrote:
The Explosive Child : A New Approach for Understanding and Parenting
Easily Frustrated, Chronically Inflexible Children
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/006077939X/ref=ase_theworldsreligon/
002-5649649-0528030?
s=books&v=glance&n=283155&tagActionCode=theworldsreligon
Joyce
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> He hasHave you read the Explosive Child?
> a extremely bad temper
The Explosive Child : A New Approach for Understanding and Parenting
Easily Frustrated, Chronically Inflexible Children
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/006077939X/ref=ase_theworldsreligon/
002-5649649-0528030?
s=books&v=glance&n=283155&tagActionCode=theworldsreligon
> Flexibility and tolerance are learned skills, as any parent knowsIt's a popular book so should be available through your library.
> if they've seen an irascible 2-year-old grow into a pleasant,
> thoughtful, and considerate older child. Unfortunately, for reasons
> that are poorly understood, a few children don't "get" this part of
> socialization. Years after toddler tantrums should have become an
> unpleasant memory, a few unlucky parents find themselves battling
> with sudden, inexplicable, disturbingly violent rages--along with
> crushing guilt about what they "did wrong." Medical experts haven't
> helped much: the flurry of acronyms and labels (Tourette's, ADHD,
> ADD, etc.) seems to proffer new discoveries about the causes of
> such explosions, when in fact the only new development is
> alternative vocabulary to describe the effects. Ross Greene, a
> pediatric psychologist who also teaches at Harvard Medical School,
> makes a bold and humane attempt in this book to cut through the
> blather and speak directly to the (usually desperate) parents of
> explosive children. His text is long and serious, and has the
> advantage of covering an enormous amount of ground with nuance,
> detail, and sympathy, but also perhaps the disadvantage that only
> those parents who are not chronically tired and time-deprived are
> likely to get through the entire book. Quoted dialogue from actual
> sessions with parents and children is interspersed with analysis
> that is always oriented toward understanding the origins of
> "meltdowns" and developing workable strategies for avoidance.
> Although pharmacological treatment is not the book's focus, there
> is a chapter on drug therapies. --Richard Farr
Joyce
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
trektheory
--- In [email protected], "Pampered Chef Michelle"
<pamperedmichelle@...> wrote:
often moves, paces, whatever, when he is telling about something he
is passionate about at the moment.
personally think Sesame Street is baby MTV, and unintentionally
designed to decrease attention span! YMMV)
Some of the items on the checklist made me think things like
aspergers/autism spectrum, and some made me think about
misdiagnosing gifted (there are articles out there that allayed on
of my concerns about my own son!)
are normal behaviors taken to extremes. So then the question really
is, where is the line? That is the tricky part. If it interferes
with your daily life, keeps you from doing things you want to do,
then it is a problem!
So many people these days want everyone to fit in the same package,
and, um, I'm a different size....
Linda
<pamperedmichelle@...> wrote:
> Hyperactive (fidgity, trouble staying seated) _____ (Boredom?)I might add as possibilities (kinestetic child, excitement?) My son
often moves, paces, whatever, when he is telling about something he
is passionate about at the moment.
> Trouble switching activities _____ (Intense passion or interest inwhat one
> is doing - a need to complete a project)Actually, I worry more about people being unable to focus! (I
> Hyper-focused at times _____ (ditto)
personally think Sesame Street is baby MTV, and unintentionally
designed to decrease attention span! YMMV)
>myself and
> Now if I were to look at this checklist I could easily diagnose
> the rest of my family as adhd. That's scary as none of us fitinto the
> stereotypicalness of adhd.I must not have read this carefully enough. (Adult onset add? ;0)
Some of the items on the checklist made me think things like
aspergers/autism spectrum, and some made me think about
misdiagnosing gifted (there are articles out there that allayed on
of my concerns about my own son!)
>But a teacher or doctor could look at thisThey have to keep in mind that so so so often, abnormal behaviors
> checklist and go "Oh this person has a problem."
are normal behaviors taken to extremes. So then the question really
is, where is the line? That is the tricky part. If it interferes
with your daily life, keeps you from doing things you want to do,
then it is a problem!
So many people these days want everyone to fit in the same package,
and, um, I'm a different size....
Linda
[email protected]
>>I will say demanding is actually putting it lightly for my son.>>Well that's a step in the right direction then. My point was not to belittle your choice of words, it was to share how I frame my own child's behavior in my mind. When I can shift from a negative label to a more positive one, it helps redirect my energies towards working with my child rather than trying to only control behavior.
>>He has a extremely bad temper(and yes we have seen the doc on this) after a horrific year for our whole family it has been worse.>>I'm really sorry to hear that. I hope that bringing your son home will give you all a chance to heal and forgive each other. Peace in the home is a key ingredient to a joyous, fufilling life. I wish that for you.
>>But ya know I am the one who had to deal with him taking scissors to a kids ear in school for not getting his way.>>That must have been very hard for you. I'm so glad you brought him home from school. It sounds like it was a toxic environment for such an intense and passionate little boy.
>>So maybe I need to move to the homeschool group because we still have schedules to keep here>>Well, I do hope you'll stay. There's a lot of good discussion here. Remember, you don't have to follow ANY advice. Ever. You have the power. Take what sounds right today and leave the rest.
I wish you well on your journey.
--
~Mary
http://zenmommasgarden.blogspot.com/
"The miracle is not to walk on water. The miracle is to walk on the
green earth, dwelling deeply in the present moment and feeling truly
alive."
~Thich Nhat Hanh
-------------- Original message ----------------------
From: Christina Walker <no1lefthere@...>
Pamela Sorooshian
On May 13, 2006, at 2:14 PM, drusila00 wrote:
We get passionate about things and can't let them go, work at them
obsessively for days or weeks. I've been like this since I was a kid.
I remember that I spent a few months playing my cello for 7 hours a
day (those were school days, by the way).
It is a great gift to have a passion for something and the greatest
gift is to have the time to pursue it!!
-pam
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> what I did say was that I was nervious and asked if anyone else hadMy daughters are often like this. So am I.
> experianced being nervious because of their child having an
> intensely focused interest.
> It doesnt seem from your reply like you have experianced that, but
> thank you for your imput anyway.
We get passionate about things and can't let them go, work at them
obsessively for days or weeks. I've been like this since I was a kid.
I remember that I spent a few months playing my cello for 7 hours a
day (those were school days, by the way).
It is a great gift to have a passion for something and the greatest
gift is to have the time to pursue it!!
-pam
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
susan throssell
hi,
i'm sure this has been asked many times, i've tried to find the answer but
havnt been able to .
I'm trying to be much more relaxed around what I consider junk food. Its my
2 year old i'm getting anxious about. She just wants to eat crisps all the
time, not any healthy crisps, just bog standard crisps.
I have plenty of other things on offer but its just crisps. Is she too
young to be able to freely choose what she wants to eat? Ok I know that
sounds stupid, but i'm worried and dont want to limit her.
help
susan
i'm sure this has been asked many times, i've tried to find the answer but
havnt been able to .
I'm trying to be much more relaxed around what I consider junk food. Its my
2 year old i'm getting anxious about. She just wants to eat crisps all the
time, not any healthy crisps, just bog standard crisps.
I have plenty of other things on offer but its just crisps. Is she too
young to be able to freely choose what she wants to eat? Ok I know that
sounds stupid, but i'm worried and dont want to limit her.
help
susan
Melissa
What we have is a variety of snacks out all day. Fresh fruit, veggies
all chopped up, dip to go with it, crackers, cheese sticks, chips,
chocolates. I fill up the bowls that get empty. Our two yo will
gravitate towards his favorites, but overall tries everything IF I
add no pressure. and IF I keep everything else filled up. It really
does work, just breath and have faith ;-)
We have a big family, and so really it's important for us to ensure
that the bowls will stay full, if only to settle the kids minds that
they don't have to eat all that they can at one setting for fear of
someone else eating their favorites! Thankfully Emily is getting over
that fear, she would guard the snack trays and police how much people
were eating to ensure fairness. lol!
Melissa
Mom to Josh (11), Breanna (8), Emily (7), Rachel (6), Sam (4), Dan
(2), and Avari Rose
share our lives at
http://360.yahoo.com/multimomma
all chopped up, dip to go with it, crackers, cheese sticks, chips,
chocolates. I fill up the bowls that get empty. Our two yo will
gravitate towards his favorites, but overall tries everything IF I
add no pressure. and IF I keep everything else filled up. It really
does work, just breath and have faith ;-)
We have a big family, and so really it's important for us to ensure
that the bowls will stay full, if only to settle the kids minds that
they don't have to eat all that they can at one setting for fear of
someone else eating their favorites! Thankfully Emily is getting over
that fear, she would guard the snack trays and police how much people
were eating to ensure fairness. lol!
Melissa
Mom to Josh (11), Breanna (8), Emily (7), Rachel (6), Sam (4), Dan
(2), and Avari Rose
share our lives at
http://360.yahoo.com/multimomma
On May 15, 2006, at 2:52 AM, susan throssell wrote:
>
> hi,
>
> i'm sure this has been asked many times, i've tried to find the
> answer but
> havnt been able to .
>
> I'm trying to be much more relaxed around what I consider junk
> food. Its my
> 2 year old i'm getting anxious about. She just wants to eat crisps
> all the
> time, not any healthy crisps, just bog standard crisps.
> I have plenty of other things on offer but its just crisps. Is she
> too
> young to be able to freely choose what she wants to eat? Ok I know
> that
> sounds stupid, but i'm worried and dont want to limit her.
[email protected]
-----Original Message-----
From: Melissa <autismhelp@...>
What we have is a variety of snacks out all day. Fresh fruit, veggies
all chopped up, dip to go with it, crackers, cheese sticks, chips,
chocolates. I fill up the bowls that get empty. Our two yo will
gravitate towards his favorites, but overall tries everything IF I
add no pressure. and IF I keep everything else filled up. It really
does work, just breath and have faith ;-)
We have a big family, and so really it's important for us to ensure
that the bowls will stay full, if only to settle the kids minds that
they don't have to eat all that they can at one setting for fear of
someone else eating their favorites! Thankfully Emily is getting over
that fear, she would guard the snack trays and police how much people
were eating to ensure fairness. lol!
-=-=-=-=-
Yeah---we have a bowl of candy at all times in the front hall. It's
been full of M&Ms lately. There are still a few handfuls in there now.
But I just got some Laffy Taffy, so the M&Ms are covered up right now.
I just brought out a "Monkey Platter" for Duncan and his friend,
Ebony. There are carrots with dill dip, bagel chips smeared with
Babaganoush, tiny mini- bananas (they're so cute!), wheat thins with
sliced cheese, rolled up ham slices, and mini-Rice Krispy Treats.
Duncan has eaten a bit of everything. Ebony (who is seriously limited
just asked for more Rice Krispy Treats). There will probably be a few
carrots left on the plate when Dunc brings it to the kitchen.
You *might* like to try letting her get her fill of crisps (potato
chips for the non-Brits who were wondering! <g>). Buy a zillion
different bags, open them all, and let her go at it. I bet she'd get
tired of them after a while! You and she could have a chip and dip
party---buy or make a bunch of dips that would go with chips. Have a
blind taste test! Together you could rate the chips and the dip. OOOH!
You could deep fry your own! And make SWEET potato chips! And turnip
chips! and.... <g>
I bet she'd be asking for tomato soup or PB&J or broccoli after a
while! <G>
I think Melissa's point of keeping the bowls full is extremely
important! So she doesn't feel a lack.
I forget how old she is, but a lot of kids go through food phases. I
remember, when I was 3, I only ate Rice Krispies for weeks and weeks.
Neither of my boys had food issues---both were/are *very* easy eaters.
Because *I* was force-fed and was made to force-feed kids I baby-sat, I
vowed I would NOT do that to my kids. I've never had a problem,
but...was it because I didn't force the issue that they ate everything
or did they eat everything so I didn't have to force the issue???
But they both have had friends who were picky and/or were on a single
food kick. Makes you feel like crap that they only eat one thing or
won't try different things, but the bigger the deal about it, the
longer it takes to go away---and the more control they seem to
want/need!
I seriously doubt she will keep this up forever! <g> Indulge it for a
bit, and see what happens.
~Kelly
Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
http://liveandlearnconference.org
“Learn as if you were going to live forever.
Live as if you were going to die tomorrow.” ~ Mahatma Gandhi
From: Melissa <autismhelp@...>
What we have is a variety of snacks out all day. Fresh fruit, veggies
all chopped up, dip to go with it, crackers, cheese sticks, chips,
chocolates. I fill up the bowls that get empty. Our two yo will
gravitate towards his favorites, but overall tries everything IF I
add no pressure. and IF I keep everything else filled up. It really
does work, just breath and have faith ;-)
We have a big family, and so really it's important for us to ensure
that the bowls will stay full, if only to settle the kids minds that
they don't have to eat all that they can at one setting for fear of
someone else eating their favorites! Thankfully Emily is getting over
that fear, she would guard the snack trays and police how much people
were eating to ensure fairness. lol!
-=-=-=-=-
Yeah---we have a bowl of candy at all times in the front hall. It's
been full of M&Ms lately. There are still a few handfuls in there now.
But I just got some Laffy Taffy, so the M&Ms are covered up right now.
I just brought out a "Monkey Platter" for Duncan and his friend,
Ebony. There are carrots with dill dip, bagel chips smeared with
Babaganoush, tiny mini- bananas (they're so cute!), wheat thins with
sliced cheese, rolled up ham slices, and mini-Rice Krispy Treats.
Duncan has eaten a bit of everything. Ebony (who is seriously limited
just asked for more Rice Krispy Treats). There will probably be a few
carrots left on the plate when Dunc brings it to the kitchen.
You *might* like to try letting her get her fill of crisps (potato
chips for the non-Brits who were wondering! <g>). Buy a zillion
different bags, open them all, and let her go at it. I bet she'd get
tired of them after a while! You and she could have a chip and dip
party---buy or make a bunch of dips that would go with chips. Have a
blind taste test! Together you could rate the chips and the dip. OOOH!
You could deep fry your own! And make SWEET potato chips! And turnip
chips! and.... <g>
I bet she'd be asking for tomato soup or PB&J or broccoli after a
while! <G>
I think Melissa's point of keeping the bowls full is extremely
important! So she doesn't feel a lack.
I forget how old she is, but a lot of kids go through food phases. I
remember, when I was 3, I only ate Rice Krispies for weeks and weeks.
Neither of my boys had food issues---both were/are *very* easy eaters.
Because *I* was force-fed and was made to force-feed kids I baby-sat, I
vowed I would NOT do that to my kids. I've never had a problem,
but...was it because I didn't force the issue that they ate everything
or did they eat everything so I didn't have to force the issue???
But they both have had friends who were picky and/or were on a single
food kick. Makes you feel like crap that they only eat one thing or
won't try different things, but the bigger the deal about it, the
longer it takes to go away---and the more control they seem to
want/need!
I seriously doubt she will keep this up forever! <g> Indulge it for a
bit, and see what happens.
~Kelly
Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
http://liveandlearnconference.org
“Learn as if you were going to live forever.
Live as if you were going to die tomorrow.” ~ Mahatma Gandhi