Misty Felner

From: "Pamela Sorooshian" pamsoroosh@...
Date: Thu May 11, 2006 0:26am(PDT)

>I'd guess he's big and strong and just picks her up and does things
>to her, like brush her teeth. I wouldn't like it, either - I'd be
>hitting and screaming, for sure.

Actually no, he's kind of short and scrawny as far as men go. Neither of us
usually pick her up and do things against her will, we always ask how she
wants to brush her teeth and try and give her as many choices as possible...
which toothbrush, which sink, which paste, mom/dad to help, do it herself,
and yes even standing or while we are holding her. So everything leading up
to it was her choice.

>He should probably just remove himself from the situation the
>minute she hits - hitting ends the game, hitting ends the activity,

She often hits during times that he can't just walk away like during bath,
that does usually end bath if it's feasible, but he's asked me for
suggestions about what to do if she's hitting him repeatedly and has a head
full of shampoo. Any suggestions?

Misty

Pamela Sorooshian

On May 12, 2006, at 5:58 PM, Misty Felner wrote:

>> I'd guess he's big and strong and just picks her up and does things
>> to her, like brush her teeth. I wouldn't like it, either - I'd be
>> hitting and screaming, for sure.
>
> Actually no, he's kind of short and scrawny as far as men go.

Misty -

First - he's HUGE compared to her. Please try to think from her point
of view.

Second - you might not be hearing what you, yourself, are saying?
You're contradicting yourself.

> Neither of us
> usually pick her up and do things against her will, we always ask
> how she
> wants to brush her teeth and try and give her as many choices as
> possible...
> which toothbrush, which sink, which paste, mom/dad to help, do it
> herself,
> and yes even standing or while we are holding her. So everything
> leading up
> to it was her choice.

But in your first post you described, in detail, how he DID pick her
up and brush her teeth against her will. Repeatedly.

>>We took her into the bathroom to clean her up,
like always. When it came time to brush her teeth my husband picked
her up, she's lost interest in doing it herself and declined it
again, and she slapped him across the face. We put her in time
out. Afterwards we went back to the bathroom only to have the
scenario repeat. <<

Are you fooling yourself? I think maybe you need to take a hard look
at what is really going on, not what you wish.

-pam

Unschooling shirts, cups, bumper stickers, bags...
Live Love Learn
UNSCHOOL!
<http://www.cafepress.com/livelovelearn>





[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Pamela Sorooshian

On May 12, 2006, at 5:58 PM, Misty Felner wrote:

>
> She often hits during times that he can't just walk away like
> during bath,
> that does usually end bath if it's feasible, but he's asked me for
> suggestions about what to do if she's hitting him repeatedly and
> has a head
> full of shampoo. Any suggestions?

If she tries to hit him, he should pick her up (gently) out of the
tub, stand her up on the floor, and move away and say, "No hitting."
It is not kind to a child to let her hit you repeatedly.

-pam

Unschooling shirts, cups, bumper stickers, bags...
Live Love Learn
UNSCHOOL!
<http://www.cafepress.com/livelovelearn>





[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Lena

On May 12, 2006, at 5:58 PM, Misty Felner wrote:

>
> She often hits during times that he can't just walk away like
> during bath,
> that does usually end bath if it's feasible, but he's asked me for
> suggestions about what to do if she's hitting him repeatedly and
> has a head
> full of shampoo. Any suggestions?

Is he the main caregiver? Maybe she would prefer a bath by mom...or with
mom.
Maybe she would prefer to have mom helping with her teeth at night?

My son dearly loves his dad, but when he was 2...I always did everything
with him.
Dad was always under a time restraint and even though he never said
hurry...I think it was easily sensed.

I have much more patience with the everyday happenings...

IMHO, Lena