jsnhawkins

We've been HSing (unschooling) for a couple of months now and we've
met several other HSing families in various ways. This has led to some
fun activites for DS (such as our local group goes to the park every
Fri for playtime). However, it just makes me feel like one big
outcast. The topics of the day include curriculum, how to fit all the
work into each day, how to get the kids to actually do the work,
yadda, yadda, yadda. I don't have much to add since obviously we don't
utilize those things in our house. And I'm a little to shy to just
bust out the whole unschooling philosophy amongst a group of people
that I don't really know and that all share a totally different
philosophy. Help!

Betsy

freepsgal

I'm fortunate to have been with the same friends for a while now.
Perhaps you can keep your eyes/ears open to certain types of
homeschooling programs. For example, if textbook programs such as
Calvert, Abeka and BJU are being discussed, those types of
homeschoolers are usually very structured. But if you hear of
programs like Oak Meadow, Sonlight, Charlotte Mason, and Winter
Promise, those homeschoolers are generally a bit more relaxed.
People who use Unit Studies can go both ways. I've seen some very
structured families using Unit Studies, and some very relaxed
families as well. If that makes any sense. But anyway, if you can
encourage friendships with the people who are using slightly more
relaxed materials, you might find some common ground.

It may just be a slow-going mission. Chances are you'll find
someone who wants to be more relaxed but is surrounded by die-hard
structured homeschoolers and feels the need to keep up with the
joneses. That describes me to a "T". I am more confident now and
have real friends who care more about me than about how I homeschool
my children. In fact, one of my best friends who has been an even
bigger curriculum junkie than me is moving towards unschooling
though she's still fighting it somewhat. She's met an unschooler
and is extremely inspired by their family. And now that I've gone
back to unschooling, it just provides more support for her. It's
not good to jump in with both feet sometimes. :)

You can also try starting some different conversations. Ask about
favorite educational software, or book recommendations for pleasure
reading. Begin a conversation about Science exploration for young
children ala Charlotte Mason, i.e. nature walks. It seems that even
very structured homeschoolers feel it's okay to be relaxed in
Science in the early years though of course you may get some
recommendations of curriculums. :)

Beth M.

[email protected]

I understand completely. We are the Pagan unschoolers in a sea of
Fundamentalist "school-at-homers". We handled it three different ways.

First, I simply held my tongue (not easy for a Leo) and was miserable.

Second, I searched the internet for another group close by that
described themselves as Relaxed. What I actually found was a group of
unschoolers and I jumped in with both feet. Problem is that most
people are fine with unschooling young kids but move to a much more
structured approach (usually at the insistence of DH) at around 9, so
all the kids in the group were quite young. My 2 oldest kids had no
one to hang out with and wanted to spend time with the kids they met in
the first group.

Third, I re-joined the first group. I was very up front and open with
the leaders about who are family is and what we are and asked if it
would be a problem. They assured me it wasn't a problem and the few
times it has been a problem with other members, the leaders have backed
me up 100%. I have made friends in the group and admittedly they think
I'm a bit wacky but we seek out each other to spend time with
occassionally.

So now we simply belong to two groups, one in which I am the norm and
one in which I am very much the odd-ball. It works for us.

Julie S.