aplan4life

So I get out all of our 'schooly' type things and set them on the
table yesterady a.m.....we did nothing! LOL I didn't press, didn't
push, didn't say a thing but I do think that she believes its needed.
If she REALLY has a desire to do 'school' should I tell her yet
again, how people learn everyday without it? Should I say that stuff
sucks and is worthless or do I shut up and just do like I did
yesterday a.m.? My concern is that she may believe that I just don't
care, but I do care. This is hard to explain, anyone ever been there?

~Sandy

[email protected]

-----Original Message-----
From: aplan4life <aplan4life@...>

So I get out all of our 'schooly' type things and set them on the
table yesterady a.m.....we did nothing! LOL I didn't press, didn't
push, didn't say a thing but I do think that she believes its needed.
If she REALLY has a desire to do 'school' should I tell her yet
again, how people learn everyday without it? Should I say that stuff
sucks and is worthless or do I shut up and just do like I did
yesterday a.m.? My concern is that she may believe that I just don't
care, but I do care. This is hard to explain, anyone ever been there?


-=-=-=-=-=-

I'd let her know that I care how *she* feels. But that *I* know that
school and school-at-home is unnecessary. That I will put schooly stuff
out for her, if that's what she wants, but that I won't push it on her.
I know that she'll be fine---and BETTER than fine without it. That I
see her learning every single day---as she has all her life, and that I
know she will continue to learn every single day until she dies.

I would let her know that this is a difficult philosphy to understand,
but that I am fully convinced that learning through play and passions
is THE way people learn.


~Kelly

Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
http://liveandlearnconference.org

“Learn as if you were going to live forever.
Live as if you were going to die tomorrow.” ~ Mahatma Gandhi

aplan4life

Thanks Kelly! I'm so glad that I didn't say anything and just sat our
schooly things out and then came here for advice this morning. The
last thing I want to do is ruin this beautiful unschooling life that
we have going right now but in the back of a minute portion of my
brain, I KNOW that I could easily start thinking..."Well, she wants to
'do' school, we're going to do it. She is the one who asked for it so
'I'm'( I'd bold if I could) goint to tell her when we're starting and
not let off this track!"

Zak has been doing a Pre-GED course, he's 11 and he's tired of me
telling him that he doesn't need it. My heart is in the right place I
just want to make sure that he knows it isn't a requirement. He has
in his mind that by next August, his 12th birthday, that he wants to
take the GED. Every night he sits down and does one or two pages and
puts the book up on the shelf, taking it inch by inch because it is a
HUGE book that one could easily be overwhelmed with. However, I've
just found out that here in FL you have to be at least 18 to take that
test and age waivers are for those 16-17 years of age...should I say
anything? He seems to be enjoying this and has set a goal...now I
'think' that if really wants to do something like this he'd be better
with College Test Placement studies as those do not 'age
restrictions'. Really, I'm at a loss here as I think DH would be
totally pissed if I said something to ruin a goal that Zak has by
spoiling it but now there is the honesty issue to deal with.

~Sandy



--- In [email protected], kbcdlovejo@... wrote:
>
>
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: aplan4life <aplan4life@...>
>
> So I get out all of our 'schooly' type things and set them on the
> table yesterady a.m.....we did nothing! LOL I didn't press, didn't
> push, didn't say a thing but I do think that she believes its needed.
> If she REALLY has a desire to do 'school' should I tell her yet
> again, how people learn everyday without it? Should I say that stuff
> sucks and is worthless or do I shut up and just do like I did
> yesterday a.m.? My concern is that she may believe that I just don't
> care, but I do care. This is hard to explain, anyone ever been there?
>
>
> -=-=-=-=-=-
>
> I'd let her know that I care how *she* feels. But that *I* know that
> school and school-at-home is unnecessary. That I will put schooly stuff
> out for her, if that's what she wants, but that I won't push it on her.
> I know that she'll be fine---and BETTER than fine without it. That I
> see her learning every single day---as she has all her life, and that I
> know she will continue to learn every single day until she dies.
>
> I would let her know that this is a difficult philosphy to understand,
> but that I am fully convinced that learning through play and passions
> is THE way people learn.
>
>
> ~Kelly
>
> Kelly Lovejoy
> Conference Coordinator
> Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
> http://liveandlearnconference.org
>
> “Learn as if you were going to live forever.
> Live as if you were going to die tomorrow.” ~ Mahatma Gandhi
>

Pampered Chef Michelle

On 5/3/06, aplan4life <aplan4life@...> wrote:
>
> So I get out all of our 'schooly' type things and set them on the
> table yesterady a.m.....we did nothing! LOL I didn't press, didn't
> push, didn't say a thing but I do think that she believes its needed.
> If she REALLY has a desire to do 'school' should I tell her yet
> again, how people learn everyday without it? Should I say that stuff
> sucks and is worthless or do I shut up and just do like I did
> yesterday a.m.? My concern is that she may believe that I just don't
> care, but I do care. This is hard to explain, anyone ever been there?


Couple thoughts. Have you asked *her* why she wants to do schooly stuff?
It may be that she thinks she has to because that is what she sees "the
norm" doing. Home (especially Un) schooling looks very different from
"school." I think it is perfectly fine to point out that we are always
learning - include yourself and your dh in this as well. All of you are
learning every day.

It may also be that for your daughter "school stuff" is important. Perhaps
she likes the schedule of it or the completeness of it. Until she can relax
into enjoying life she may need to have those things at her disposal. Ask
her what she wants to learn and take as much interest in her desire to do
"schooly things" as you would anything else she wants to do. We are the
facilitators of our children's dreams. I don't think you were attending our
local group 2 years ago. We had a child who would bring "schooly work" to
resource day. Her mother didn't make her do it, but she *wanted* to do it.
She enjoyed it. She decided to go to school this year. Guess what? She
hated it. It wasn't structured enough, wasn't disciplined enough, and the
social structure was not what she was expecting, so she is planning on
returning home next year. She thrives on completion and order. She learns
well in that environment and school was not that environment. :)

BTW, Emily went through a period about a year ago where she wanted to "do
something" Something meaning "school work." She felt like I was neglecting
their education with all this "unschooling stuff." I gave her a copy of
"How Children Learn" (or whatever that title is) and let her read it. We
also talked about unschooling and what it meant to live and learn. For her
I showed her examples of how she and her siblings had learned things over
the past year. Now she gets it. Now she loves it.

--
Michelle
Independent Kitchen Consultant #413652
The Pampered Chef
850-474-0817
http://www.pamperedchef.biz/michellelr
Ask me how you can save 60% on some of our most favorite products!


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