Elissa Jill Cleaveland

Hi all,
Hope Spring is giving you great joy. I bought a new pair of shorts yeaterday! WooHoo!
I was asked by a girl I work with (college student) for information on not spanking for a debate she will be participating in. She told me that everyone in her study group agreed that spanking was ok and that they didn't know how to handle to "con" side of it.
:(
I told her, "Boy, did you come to the right person! I'll find you tons of stuff!"
So I have a few pages to give her but wanted your favorite links on the WHY of not spanking as well as what works better.
Incidentally, when I asked her why she thought spanking was a good tool, she couldn't really answer. She also tells me that she wasn't spanked although I'm not sure that there were a whole lot better tools used in her family.
Thanks for your help.
Elissa Jill
The music in me is a gift from the Universe.
My job is to care for it and use it well; I am its bearer, not its owner.
~Johnny Cash's Moma

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Pampered Chef Michelle

On 4/28/06, Elissa Jill Cleaveland <MystikMomma@...> wrote:
>
> Hi all,
> Hope Spring is giving you great joy. I bought a new pair of shorts
> yeaterday! WooHoo!
> I was asked by a girl I work with (college student) for information on not
> spanking for a debate she will be participating in. She told me that
> everyone in her study group agreed that spanking was ok and that they didn't
> know how to handle to "con" side of it.
> :(


She obviously hasn't visited many parenting forums, especially those at
mothering.com and read what "non-spankers" have had to say about the
situation. Dr. Sear's talks about some of the cons of not spanking in many
of his books. And in his Christian gentle parenting book (I can't remember
the title) he disputes the "spare the rod" myth. If she wants some scary
stuff on why spanking can be bad in the wrong hands just google the "Pearls
spanking" UGH!





--
Michelle
Independent Kitchen Consultant #413652
The Pampered Chef
850-474-0817
http://www.pamperedchef.biz/michellelr
Ask me how you can save 60% on some of our most favorite products!


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Elissa Jill Cleaveland

She obviously hasn't visited many parenting forums,

I highly doubt she has, she's a 21 year old college student who is not even close to thinking about kids.
I kind of think of this as a good opportunity to show alternatives to younger people, who knows where they'll take it?
So far I have articles from Joyce's page, the AAofP's policy on spanking and a few others. I don't want to be too radical, mostly mainstreamish pages on the alternatives.
I also plan on talking to her a bit about my own viewpoint, as an adult who was spanked and the continuing repurcussions of it.
Elissa Jill
The music in me is a gift from the Universe.
My job is to care for it and use it well; I am its bearer, not its owner.
~Johnny Cash's Moma

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Joyce Fetteroll

On Apr 28, 2006, at 9:09 AM, Elissa Jill Cleaveland wrote:

> I was asked by a girl I work with (college student) for information
> on not spanking for a debate she will be participating in.

I don' t know how deeply she wants to get into it, but the archives
of the NoMoreSpanking list are chock full of "why not" and "what
else" ideas:

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/NoMoreSpanking/

Joyce

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

trektheory

--- In [email protected], "Pampered Chef Michelle"
<pamperedmichelle@...> wrote:
>
> On 4/28/06, Elissa Jill Cleaveland <MystikMomma@...> wrote:
> >
> > Hi all,
> > Hope Spring is giving you great joy. I bought a new pair of shorts
> > yeaterday! WooHoo!
> > I was asked by a girl I work with (college student) for
information on not
> > spanking for a debate she will be participating in. She told me
that
> > everyone in her study group agreed that spanking was ok and that
they didn't
> > know how to handle to "con" side of it.
> > :(
>
>
> She obviously hasn't visited many parenting forums, especially
those at
> mothering.com and read what "non-spankers" have had to say about the
> situation. Dr. Sear's talks about some of the cons of not spanking
in many
> of his books. And in his Christian gentle parenting book (I can't
remember
> the title) he disputes the "spare the rod" myth. If she wants some
scary
> stuff on why spanking can be bad in the wrong hands just google
the "Pearls
> spanking" UGH!
>

I was about the straightest arrow good kid you could find. I have
two older brothers, ya see, and didn't need to do the stuff, since
they already had... and we all got yelled at for it.

My dh once asked me if I was ever spanked. I said, yes. He asked
what I did. My reply was that I don't know, I guess my folks had a
bad day.

It is the truth. But my hubby thought it was hilarious. He told my
parents this, and when he got to the part he thought was funny, they,
in a serious tone, said, "She's probably right." All I remember is
that I didn't like it, not what it was related to.

My son has never been spanked, is 14, and the nicest kid you could
want to meet. If I had spanked him, I suspect he would be the sullen
teen in a previous post.... Think about what spanking is telling a
kid -- "It's okay to hit someone who is littler than you." That's
the message. Then ask, is that what I want my child to learn?

Linda