intro./concerns
Ren Allen
" if there are no limits whatsoever, how do you keep your
children from running out into the street? from jumping off a high
building or a bridge? im thinking there has to be some limits? "
Not ONE post said "there are no limits". What we're advocating, is
equal freedom for children that adults have. What we're talking about
is CHOICES and freedom, not no limits.
LIFE has limits.
Society has limits that actually make sense. If they don't, I ignore
them. Like the idea that children have to go to school to
learn...that's an idea (a limiting one) I choose to ignore.:)
Why would a child WANT to jump off a high building or bridge? None of
my children have ever wanted to harm themselves knowingly. If they're
too little to be aware of the dangers, it's your job to keep them
safe. That's what they'd WANT you to do if they understood the
potential for harm.
You'd keep an adult safe that was unaware of dangers, right? Providing
safety is a parent's job. Nobody is saying "no limits". We ARE saying
"rid yourself of ARBITRARY limits".
Arbitrary limits are there only because an adult chooses to impose
their will on a child. They don't necessarily make sense. If a limit
makes sense then by all means, impose it!!
When I'm truly exhausted, truly needing some quiet and calm, there are
limits to what I can assist my children with. That's a real limit and
children are pretty understanding about that if you're generous with
them.
When one of my children chooses to ignore personal boundaries and hit
or otherwise try to harm someone, I stop them. There are a load of
good reasons to limit a person from doing harmful things.
Public places have limits. If my children want to scream and run up
the aisles at the grocery store, making other people miserable, there
will be some creative problem solving to figure out ways to avoid that
problem. I wouldn't take my child to a restaraunt and expect the other
patrons to put up with whatever my child felt like imposing upon them.
They have a right to peace also. One persons freedom ends where
another begins....we need to honor other human beings space and sanity
too. That will create natural limits.
Limits for real reasons that make sense....well, make sense.
It's our job to help our children figure out how to work with, and be
creative or honor those limits. Limits that are decided for the child
because the parent has a set of values that aren't very flexible,
aren't helpful. The child can't figure out their own balance, feel
what THEIR body needs and learn in their own way if the parent decides
when they'll sleep, what they'll eat, when they should learn certain
things.
Ren
learninginfreedom.com
children from running out into the street? from jumping off a high
building or a bridge? im thinking there has to be some limits? "
Not ONE post said "there are no limits". What we're advocating, is
equal freedom for children that adults have. What we're talking about
is CHOICES and freedom, not no limits.
LIFE has limits.
Society has limits that actually make sense. If they don't, I ignore
them. Like the idea that children have to go to school to
learn...that's an idea (a limiting one) I choose to ignore.:)
Why would a child WANT to jump off a high building or bridge? None of
my children have ever wanted to harm themselves knowingly. If they're
too little to be aware of the dangers, it's your job to keep them
safe. That's what they'd WANT you to do if they understood the
potential for harm.
You'd keep an adult safe that was unaware of dangers, right? Providing
safety is a parent's job. Nobody is saying "no limits". We ARE saying
"rid yourself of ARBITRARY limits".
Arbitrary limits are there only because an adult chooses to impose
their will on a child. They don't necessarily make sense. If a limit
makes sense then by all means, impose it!!
When I'm truly exhausted, truly needing some quiet and calm, there are
limits to what I can assist my children with. That's a real limit and
children are pretty understanding about that if you're generous with
them.
When one of my children chooses to ignore personal boundaries and hit
or otherwise try to harm someone, I stop them. There are a load of
good reasons to limit a person from doing harmful things.
Public places have limits. If my children want to scream and run up
the aisles at the grocery store, making other people miserable, there
will be some creative problem solving to figure out ways to avoid that
problem. I wouldn't take my child to a restaraunt and expect the other
patrons to put up with whatever my child felt like imposing upon them.
They have a right to peace also. One persons freedom ends where
another begins....we need to honor other human beings space and sanity
too. That will create natural limits.
Limits for real reasons that make sense....well, make sense.
It's our job to help our children figure out how to work with, and be
creative or honor those limits. Limits that are decided for the child
because the parent has a set of values that aren't very flexible,
aren't helpful. The child can't figure out their own balance, feel
what THEIR body needs and learn in their own way if the parent decides
when they'll sleep, what they'll eat, when they should learn certain
things.
Ren
learninginfreedom.com